Y2K6: Looking Back on a Year of Mets Baseball

(Note: A quickie by Sip follows this one from A.F.O.M.G.)

It's been a hell of a year here at Y2K. We passed the one-year mark, launched version 2.0, followed a winner, cried with a loser, and experienced everything in between.

We follow baseball here, and that's what baseball consists of. The highs are high, the lows are low, and the rollercoaster of it all is something we love, even if there have been more valleys than peaks over the years.

What I wanted to do today was take a look back at the year that's past. One of the nice things about running a site like this that updates every day is that it allows you to look back at your past and conjure up very specific moments, and the feelings associated with them as well.

So what I've done is I've gone through the archives month-by-month and selected the 12 articles that capture where I was in each of those months. To my fellow bloggers, please understand that the posts below are mostly by me for no other reason than that, naturally, the ones I wrote more firmly entrench me in specific moments.

Please note that you can access the original articles by clicking the blue headers.

January 11, 2006: Dudes Who Love the Man Upstairs

OK, most of these are going to be by me, but not this one. This was a classic Sip post. Completely out of left field, nothing had really spurred this post, it was just the result of an observation we've all seen in sports.

There's not much doing in the world of baseball in January. By January 2006, the Mets had made all their principal offseason transactions, so Sip and I (though mostly Sip at that point) were left to fish for content.

I can't speak for Sip, but I panic sometimes when I realize I have to write for a certain day and there's nothing going on. It's days like that that posts like this are born. Give it a read if you're a late-adopter on Y2K -- and check out the Shawn Green reference!

February 24, 2006: Selling Out and Coming Clean, or, Corporate Suites: Sweet or Salt?

This is one of my favorite early posts. At the time I hadn't been to a Knicks game in years, and I'd never sat in a corporate box at any sporting event.

That all changed when a client of my company's hooked my group up with tickets to their private box at Madison Square Garden.

Simply put, it was awesome. The food was amazing. Earlier in the day, Isiah Thomas had traded for Stevie Franchise, and I had the pleasure of talking shit about the trade with a vendor at the arena. John Starks was there.

If you've never had the opportunity to sit in a corporate suite, definitely give it a try some time, provided you have the means. I have no idea how much it would cost (again, we got comped), but between the food, the booze and the view, it's really a fine experience. Especially when you don't really care about the action on the court.

March 31, 2006: The Sounds of Summer

Three days to Opening Day and we were all getting cabin fever. That last week before the season starts you just get so desperate for baseball to be back, particularly when you couldn't care less about March Madness.

Looking back on it, this post was better conceptually than it was in execution. I really like the idea: it was a list of 10 songs that instantly remind me of the Mets for one reason or another.

So I had the idea for a post but didn't really have the time to fully develop it; hence, filler songs like "We Will Rock You" by Queen. I mean, I do actually think of the '86 Mets tape whenever I hear that one, but it shouldn't have made the list instead of a song like the Bruce Lee theme music that Kaz came out to, or that ridiculously bombastic song Carlos Beltran comes out to.

Oh well, maybe I'll do another list like it some time. One way or another, I can't re-read it without feeling the twinge of excitement that exists in late March, when you've come so far, and those last few days until baseball finally, mercifully begins feel like months.

April 14, 2006: Not Winning, Dominating

This was the first in a type of post that would become familiar as the season wore on. I'm too young to remember 1986 or 1988, so I'd never seen a Mets team dominate the way this one did in 2006.

This post was written after the Mets had started the season 7-1. We were atop the NL East, and already you were getting the feeling that we wouldn't relinquish our grip. You could see how talented the team was, you were seeing how good they could be. And for a fan my age, it was all pretty remarkable.

May 6, 2006: Great Moments in Broadcasting, Greater Moments in Baseball

I'll never forget this night. The Mets were playing the Braves at Shea on a Saturday night in early May, back when a Mets-Braves game was still a big deal.

I caught the beginning of the game but then went out for dinner with some friends, so I had to depend on Sip for text message score updates throughout the night. I transcribed the text messages from that night in the post, and I still love reading them.

In any event, the Mets fell behind 6-2, but in typical 2006 fashion, they stormed back to even the score in the bottom of the 7th. Here's how Sip relayed it to me:

9:31 p.m.: 2-6 bot 7, mets suck when i give u scores

9:47 p.m.: 6-6 top8, new mets!

By this point I was stuffing my face at a nice Italian eatery in Alphabet City, right on the same block where my sister used to live. The weather was nice and I was sitting outside with Killer Cam, Shabasito, Steve, and the rest of the regulars when I realized I had to get out of there to watch the game.

You can read the way it unfolded in the original article, but to summarize, I sprinted desperately around the LES trying to find the game, found a sweet dive, spoke to an awesome dude named Ken who longed to bag a white chick, the Mets won on a double by David Wright.

It was good to be alive. The memory just brings such a huge smile to my face.

June 7, 2006: Moon Men Walking

This is a strange post to look back on, but I really look back on it fondly. The Mets were in firm control of the NL East when I wrote this piece, but they had developed an inability to get more than 12 games over .500. It seemed like for weeks they were perpetually between 9 and 12 games over .500. They were doing the moonwalk, as Willie Randolph had called their up and down swings of a year earlier.

I wrote that piece some time in the afternoon. That evening, two things happened that I can't forget. The first is the Mets won the game and didn't lose again for another 9 days. A dominant west coast swing concluded with a 3-game sweep of the Phillies in Philadelphia. The road trip basically cemented our position as the best team in the NL East, if not the entire senior circuit.

So I remember that. More personally though, I remember listening to this game in my car as I drove up to this corporate conference we had.

The conference was in Long Island somewhere so I got to watch the end of the game, but something about the making the drive out to this unknown part of Long Island on my own just felt perfect. I was in the car with the windows down and the Mets on the radio.

I can't really explain it but it was one of those moments where everything just comes together.

July 11, 2006: That Time, It Counted

I wrote this piece the night that Trevor Hoffman failed to close out the American League in the All-Star Game.

What I love about this piece is how intensely I believed, how certain I was that the outcome of the All-Star Game would have some bearing on the Mets. That was OUR home field advantage Hoffman had just pissed away, it just didn't seem fair.

August 9, 2006: The Monster Is Out of the Cage, and Back Where He Belongs

Who can forget the night Mike Piazza returned to Shea? Not me and B.O.A.F.O.M.G, that's for sure. We were there to stand and applaud as the Monster returned to Shea Stadium. It was a very special moment. I'd never seen an ovation like that for a former Met, but it was perfect.

The fans stood and cheered like they always did when the announcer called out "Now batting, the catcher, No. 31, Mike Piazza" and "Voodoo Child" blared through the sound system. 10 out of 10 on the goosebump scale.

And then the Mets won the ballgame, 3-2, in what I found to be perfectly fitting fashion. On the night when our former franchise cornerstone returned, two of our current cornerstones sent the fans home happy:

"Piazza heard his cheers and everyone in the stadium got goosebumps. Wright went 3-for-4 and drove home the winning run. Beltran went 3-for-4 and scored the winning run. The Mets won the ballgame. One era has ended and another has begun."

September 18, 2006: The Team. The Time. The Celebration.

The single most minimalist post in Y2K history (at least as far as I can remember), I think this post is perfect. Words weren't necessary the night the Mets clinched their first NL East title in 18 years, or not many were necessary anyway. All that you needed was that picture. I don't think I'll ever forget it.

October 19/20, 2006: Win Tonight/At The End of the Night, We'd All Seen Better Days

I've gotta break with the one post theme here for October. These two posts capture everything that's perfect about sports. They capture the drama, they capture the rush of victory, the agony and ecstasy of anticipation, and yes, the devastation of defeat.

I can't forget the way my heart raced all day on October 19, the day of Game 7. I can't forget the way I couldn't possibly get anything done at work, how I had butterflies in my stomach all day long. And I can't forget the subway ride out there, and the sound of the crowd, and the amazing catch by Endy, and the way everyone was ready for a miracle, how in every mind's eye Cliff Floyd was trotting around the bases.

And I can't forget the deflated silence after strike 3 was called. And we can't escape that that's how our season ended.

There's always next year.

November 3, 2006: A Million Little Moments

There's always next year, yes, but in the weeks after the season ended, the fact of baseball being out of my life really took a toll on me.

This post was actually like a less protracted version of the one you're reading now. "That's the thing about basball," I wrote at the time. "Somewhere in the midst of those 162 games are a million little moments that just make every part of your day-to-day life better. And when it's over it's really shitty."

When you follow the team as closely as anyone who's reading this web site does, it gets in your blood. It becomes such a part of your routine that when the season's over, you'd almost say that it's like a death in the family, if only saying so weren't so overly dramatic.

What I mean is, it's a part of your life that you deal with every day until one day, just like that, it's gone. My mother can't understand how I could feel that strongly about it, my girlfriend can't either, but I'll bet some of you can. And it all just sucks.

December 12, 2006: Best Wishes From...

I thought this piece was hilarious, nice job Cheddar. This was the first day of our move to yankees2000.com, and I remember how excited I was to see the finished product. It was a big moment in the history of Y2K, and I thought this piece brought it all home.

* * * * *

And there you have it. A year in the life, a year of Mets baseball. Happy memories and the painful ones too, I'm glad I've got them all captured here, and I'm glad I had the chance to share them with our audience.

Y2K6. It was a hell of a year.

- A.F.O.M.G.

(Images appear courtesy of catholic.net, newyorkrangers.com, mlb.com, and static.flickr.com)

P2, A Town Down

(Note: A.F.O.M.G. will be in with a post this afternoon.)

I just stopped by my deli for a coffee and a Post and heard some interesting news.

My deli guy told me that he had a guy who used to sell Barry Zito this weird steroid that makes your personality insanely wacko. He said he also sold him some flaxseed oil for his hair.

So we are good. This dude will be out of baseball in 3 months.

Anyone else curious to see what Steve Trachsel is going to get on this open market? I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he got a 2-year, $10-16 mil deal.

And by the way, how awesome is El Duque's deal looking now? At the time I was shocked, but in retrospect it almost looks like a steal.

That's all from Sip. Happy New Years everyone. Looking forward to the e-mail from AFOMG where he talks about how I mailed this one in.

Short but sweet I will respond.

Vaya con dios,

Sip

Zito to Giants. Fuck.

Well it appears to be official. Barry Zito has agreed to a 7-year, $126 million deal with the San Francisco Giants-- $18 million per season.

The truth is, for Zito, signing with the Giants makes perfect sense. He lives in San Francisco, he knows the area, the weather's nice, they've got seals he can bark out to, they're willing to pay him an extremely large amount of money for a very long time, etc.

As a Mets fan though this just sucks. I really thought the Mets would sign this guy. Lou Monte definitely thought we'd sign this guy. Bright lights, big city, big bucks, big need -- it all made sense.

But it's not happening, and now we're looking at two options. One, we go into the season with the rotation we have. And what does the rotation we have look like exactly? Here's a guess:

1. Tom Glavine.
2. Orlando Hernandez.
3. John Maine.
4. Oliver Perez.
5. Mike Pelfrey/Phil Humber/Dave Williams.

Yikes.

I mean, I would have loved that rotation, particularly the bottom of it, in 2004. But in 2007? In the year after we fell one win short of the World Series? I'm sorry, there are just too many question marks.

The problem with that rotation is you look at it and you think of how everything might work out, but you can't reliably estimate how it will turn out.

I'd like to think that John Maine will win you 10-12 games, but you can't count on that. Oliver
Perez? All-or-Nothing Ollie? I wouldn't be surprised if he won 20 games next year. I'd also not be surprised if he won 2 games and once again had the worst ERA in the National League. Pelfrey/Humber? God only knows.

These are high ceiling guys, sure, but not one of them is a known commodity. Aaron Heilman? He's not a known commodity either, in spite of what everyone who points to his one 1-hitter would like you to believe.

So that's option one: a rotation that could dominate or be a complete and total disaster. Splendid.

Option two is to trade for a starter. Dan Haren maybe. Maybe Javier Vazquez -- feel free to shudder. If the Mets were going to have to include Heilman and Lastings Milledge in any such deal before, they'll almost certainly need to include the both of them plus Pelfrey/Humber in a deal now. I mean, other teams can't help but notice how desperate we are, right?

Trading players like Heilman, Milledge and Pelfrey/Humber would make us all wince, but sometimes trades like that involving players who seem so essential are the right way to go.

I remember when we traded Roger Cedeno and Octavio Dotel for Mike Hampton. I was thrilled to have a guy coming off a 20-win season, but I was nervous about losing Cedeno, who had been nasty in Y1.999K (.313 avg., .396 OBP, 66 SB), and Dotel, who had a strikeout per inning that year and appeared to be the future.

Don't get me wrong, trading Milledge, Heilman and Pelfrey/Humber is a much steeper sum than Cedeno and Dotel, but the point remains the same. We traded quality to get quality, and it was necessary, and it worked out, if only for one year. Could a similar trade lie in the weeks ahead? It's definitely possible.

This is a big day for the Mets. We missed out on the guy we really needed. Was 7 years at 18 per a price any of us wanted to pay? Probably not, but there's probably not a one of us who's surprised by the tab it took to nab Zito.

It's a shame though. I really thought he was going to come in here and be a star. I thought he was going to lead us to the World Series. But now it's not happening.

And for the Mets, with the rotation we've got right now, well, we could really come back to earth in the year ahead.

Our lineup is still nasty, and should probably be better than it was last year with Moises Alou in the mix and continued improvement from David Wright and Jose Reyes. But the Phillies have a strong lineup, too, and a better rotation than they had last year. It should make for a real tight race next year.

So fuck. Hell of a birthday present, Barry, you shouldn't have. Oh, and don't worry about the guitar lessons either.

- A.F.O.M.G.

(Images courtesy of mlb.com and sportsillustrated.cnn.com)

New Year's Resolutions for the Starting Nine

(Note: The latest in our weekly Section 423 column on the Knicks appears immediately below.)

Fun time of years, isn’t it? Every year me and the fam head out to Ohio where my grandmother and youngest uncle/aunt team live. The weather wasn’t very Christmas-y but oh well, maybe next year. I’m sure there’s no broader phenomenon going on here. I’m sure whatever the blame-America-firsters have to say about it isn’t true.

Anyway, yes, it’s a good time of year, even if there’s not much going on in the way of sports, not for a guy like me at least.

I was never a big football guy, so the Bowl games and the Giants/Jets do little for me (although I do love watching interviews with Broadway Chad, and I was pretty into the Giants last year, and the Jets in '99).

I like the Knicks, I watch them when they’re on and I’ve got nothing else to do, but I’m not masochistic enough to root for them with any real enthusiasm.

The Sabres? Sorry, Ched. I appreciate what you’re saying, and I’m envious for Buffalo right now, for that excitement, but hockey and me are like Sip and Christmas, it just wasn’t meant to be.

But ahh, the Mets are never far from my mind, and that brings me to the crux of today’s post. The end of the year brings with it parties, booze, and yes, resolutions for the year ahead.

It was true last year, when I offered my first round of new years resolutions for the Mets starters. Remember Victor Diaz?! Crazy stuff!!

With all of us primed to close the book on 2006, the time has come to offer a new round of resolutions. New Mets, new resolutions. Let's have at it.

1. Barry Zito, SP: Sign with Mets, prove you're an ace (if only in the NL), teach me to jam, leap LES chicks in a single bound.

OK, this one's kind of up in the air. There's a long way between here and Zito signing with the Mets, let alone pitching Opening Day.

But put that out of your mind; Zito signing with the Mets just makes too much sense for me to consider any alternative. The Giants could happen, but I don't know, if he's really aiming to sign with a winner, he'll come to the Mets.

And better yet, for him, he'll be coming to New York. Provided he wouldn't end up a complete bust, my god would this guy run shit in this town. Chicks want to be with him and men want to be him.

I mean, look at that guy. So dreamy!

Me, I never learned to throw a curveball (sad but true) and I just got an acoustic guitar that I don't have any clue how to play. Zito could take me under his wing, it'd be fun.

And he could take this entire staff under his wing, too. There are a lot of doubting Thomases out there arguing that he's not an ace. I understand where they're coming from, but I think if you put him in the NL he'd be a staff ace.

With Glavine and Petey still around he wouldn't be the spiritual leader of the staff, at least I wouldn't think. But he's young, talented, and he's personable -- it's just the kind of mix that could help the Pelfreys, Humbers, Maines and who-have-you's take the next step.

And he's just the kind of guy who could take the Mets to the next level. Come on Barry, what more do you really want in life?

2. Paul Lo Duca, C: Eliminate gambling debts, hook up with older (but not too much older) broads, hold on to the ball better, replicate 2006 season offensively.

Faced with the unenviable task of replacing a legend, Paulie Thumbs delivered in 2006, sliding into the 2-spot in our order perfectly and earning the nickname "Captain Red-Ass" for his ebubliency in the clubhouse.

But it wasn't all roses for Lo Duca this past year. If there was one on-field mark against Lo Duca last year it was his frustrating tendency to drop the ball on throws to the plate, so that's something he should work on.

The other thing Lo Duca should work on, of course, is his off-field behavior. The truth is, I love him for it. The teenage girlfriends, the gambling debts, the phillies he rears -- it's just too perfect.

But you know how the Wilpons are. The Mets are a family organization, and all that jazz. I want Lo Duca to keep his fast-living ways but ensure that the Wilpons don't run him out of town. Trading 19-year-olds co-eds for 22 year-old co-eds would be a start.

He could also square whatever gambling debts he has outstanding with whatever Frankie or Vinny he owes them to. The last thing we need to worry about is that our starting catcher is going to show up for a late September game with broken knee caps, so Paulie getting his finances in order is really in all of our best interests.

3. Carlos Delgado, 1B: A little more April/October, a little less everything in between.

That's not altogether fair. Carlos was solid in August, but all thing considered, Delgado was at his best in the first and last months of the season. It's possible that some of his woes were attributable to the tennis elbow injury that first cropped up in March, and if that's the case hopefully his offseason surgery will fix that problem.

Whatever though, the name of the game is consistency. and no matter how solid the final line looks for Delgado, anyone who watched the Mets in 2006 knows that Delgado was anything but consistent. He crushed the ball in April, then looked completely lost for nearly three months, in spite of one hot streak in June that boosted his overall numbers for that month.

I wouldn't have traded him for the world, or not for Mike Jacobs at least. Delgado was just what our lineup needed: an impact presence in the cleanup spot. Now I just want him to be that from start to finish, not just start and finish.

4. Jose Valentin, 2B: Flaxseed oil and more flaxseed oil.

As you guys probably know, I'm not sold on Valentin. He had a fine season in 2006, but I always felt like we were living on borrowed time. Now that we're paying him the big bucks the leash will be shorter, and the production will need to be... well, not what it was last April or October.

The anti-Delgado, Valentin sucked at the extremes. The solution? Flaxseed oil. Being reviled by everyone else in the country because you're a cheater wouldn't be as bad as getting the shit booed out of you at Shea Stadium. Just ask this guy.

5. David Wright, 3B: Remember the first half of 2006? Yeah, me too.

It was a funny year for David. In the first half he was maybe the MVP of the National League. In the second half he was still good, but he definitely wasn't great. The difference was power, and the reason, as we all know, was the home run derby.

So David: two things to concentrate on the in the year ahead. One, the first half of 2006? Now do that twice. Two, the home run derby? Yeah... let's not participate in that this year.

6. Jose Reyes, SS: From here to eternity: the best shortstop in New York.

Big debate in New York this past year: Derek Jeter or Jose Reyes, who's the best shortstop in New York? Me, I wouldn't trade Reyes for any other shortstop in baseball: not Jeter, not Tejada, not A-Rod, not nobody.

That said, it seems the consensus is that Jeter had the better year in 2006. I'm not entirely sure that's the case, but he might have, and that's where this resolution comes in.

Reyes took huge strides in 2006. He was one of the best players in baseball last year, and possibly the MVP of a Mets team that saw huge years from Carlos Beltran, David Wright and Carlos Delgado.

So what do you do for an encore? I'm looking for Reyes to produce a season that will tip this debate in his favor from here on out.

7. Moises Alou, LF: You were brought here for one reason, now it's time to execute.

Look, Moises, let's cut to the chase. You were brought here because we basically sucked against lefthanded pitchers. You've crushed lefthanded pitching in six different uniforms so far. Let's make it lucky number sleven. Seven.

8. Carlos Beltran, CF: Party like it's 2006; swing at curveballs over the middle.

What a difference a year makes. Go back and read what I wrote for Beltran in last year's resolutions, pretty amazing how down on him I was.

Or it wasn't really. I mean, Beltran sucked in 2005. But 2006, ahh, in 2006 Beltran was everything we hoped he would be when we signed him -- five tools and all.

The one knock against Beltran was, of course, that he had the unfortunate honor of making the final out of the NLCS. With the bases loaded. On a called third strike. Ugh.

It was bad. Don't ever fucking do it again, Beltran.

But yeah, other than that, we cool.

9. Shawn Green, RF: Improve, or, failing that, wear yarmulke under your hat.

Shawn, you gotta play to your strengths. Your one redeeming quality as a Met is that you're Jewish, much like the non-Latin half of our fanbase.

Here's what you do. You know how your hat falls off every time you chase after a ball hit your way? One way to get the fans back in your corner after you fail to make the catch would be by sporting a flashy orange and blue yarmulke.

Think of it as a little reminder for the fans, one that says, "Hey, I might suck, but I'm still one of your own -- you wouldn't boo one of your own would you?"

Without that, I just don't know what hope you have, Shawnie. I'm rooting for you -- in spite of everything, I still like you somehow -- but what we saw from you last year just isn't gonna cut it. Either come correct in 2007 or come straight orthodox, the choice is yours.

* * * * *

So there you have it, folks, new years resolutions for all 9 members of our assumed-Opening Day lineup. Only three months left to go. We can do this.

- A.F.O.M.G.

(Images appear courtesy of fanball.com, graphics.fansonly.com, static.flickr.com, drugstore.com and mlb.com)

Section 423: Christmas Gifts for the Knicks

(Note: A.F.O.M.G. will be in with a post later this afternoon.)

When I was traded to the Toronto Raptors, a strange twist of David Stern scheduling fate brought me back to The World's Most Depressing Arena only ten days later where I faced my former squad of blunt smoking brethren.

I showered the locker room with gifts of fine cigars, champagne, and fruit and cheese platters. It was the least I could do to show my appreciation for a wonderful ride with the Orange and Blue.

This year, I come bearing presents and stocking stuffers for the New Knicks, and I have included gift receipts. Each player received something that is a reflection of their performance this holiday season. Let's get it crackin'...

-Steve Francis: I got the best dressed Knick on the bench, Stevie "I've never won a playoff series and don't average 8 points a game but they still call me Franchise" Francis, a brand new Playstation 3 for all the down time he now has as a premanent fixture on the DL.

What's hurting him? His ego? The folks at Sony have hooked it up so he can play against Cat Mobley in LA as they curl up in their queen sized beds and dream of spooning one another as they talk trash and try their best to use the wireless controllers with only one hand.

-Stephon Marbury: Senor Gaucho and lead point guard for The Terror Squad has made every hood kid's dreams come true with his Starbury Stocking Stuffer Shoes, so as a token of their appreciation, I've helped the hood donate one blunt for every pair of kicks in the mix... these should last Steph until the All Star break.

-Jamal Crawford: The 'Seattle Somalian' gets a $100 gift certificate to Carl's Jr so he can finally gain some weight. Nothing like the Noah Lefuvre special to put on pounds. (Why does the 'Six Dollar Burger' at Carl's cost $2.99?)

-Quentin Richardson: A headband in every color of the rainbow, with matching elbow pads, socks, and wristbands. Also the Brandy Box set featuring new remixes of 'The Boy is Mine', and never before seen episodes of Moesha.

-Nate Robinson: Nate The Great gets two ringside seats to the next Bernard Hopkins vs. Antonio Tarver fight so he can study the punching techniques of the world's best. While I definately give props to the little man for the way he manhandled JR 'I'm ridiculously ill' Smith and tackled him into celebrity row, it would have been nice to have seen the little guy get off a clean shot.

-Jerome James: All expenses paid trip to Tahiti... one way ticket.

-Jared Jeffries: A year's supply of chin band aids that actually stick on his face for the whole game. The newest of the New Knicks also receives matching red and green, holiday-themed rubber bands for his braces... what a loser.

-David Lee: The hardest working Knick gets a free dinner at the new Hawaiin Tropics restaurant in Times Square. Hopefully after the 4th or 5th round of umbrella drinks and kaluah shots, hell be able to bat those baby blue eyes and pull some skank waitress tail.

After a night out on the town, hopefully the best white dunker in the league will be a little less stressed in the new year. Honestly, on a serious note, dude needs to stop arguing with the refs. He looks like a clown and he is starting to lose out on calls as a result of his reputation.

-Eddy Curry: Remember those workout info-mericals with Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley? Well whatever they were selling, big EC needs one of those. Yes he has played the best ball of his career. Yes he is finally a forced to be reckoned with in the middle. The first true center in the Garden since the big fella.

But seriously, I know people are talking All Star game for big E.C., but dude needs to shed some pounds in order to take it to the next level. Crawford gains, Curry loses, and the Knicks win.

-Channing Frye: This dude is a joke. After a solid freshman year, he has hit the sophomore slump in full stride. How about some blackness for Christmas? His gift is a tutorial in the art of being thugged out. First step is some tattoes, then some bigger shorts, and finally, dude needs one of Starbury's holiday blunts. He also needs to be banned from Dorian's and Marquee, and needs to start rolling to the Shark bar. The guy would get his shit run at the Rucker.

Renaldo Balkman: What to get the rookie rebounding sensation? While his numbers don't reflect his impact this year, he has already exceeded our wildest expectations. I get Ro Ro a copy of every dunk contest on DVD ever so he can study for this year's slam fest. Every game it seems the young fella throws one down that's worthy of a rewind.

I hope he stays sober in Vegas to compete alongside the defensing champ in this year's contest. Only 3 other Knicks have ever competed in a dunk contest, can you name them? (Gerald Wilkins in '86, Kenny 'Sky' Walker in '89, and John Starks in '92)

So who is left? My wallet is already taking a beating from all the gifts so far. Oh! Mardy "Thug Life" Collins gets a new pair of the Carmelo kicks. And of course, 'Zeek. I get the popcorn popping head coach cole, fruit cake, socks, and a $20 gift certificate to the Olive Garden. At least at that garden, he's family. In our Garden, he's just waiting around to be evicted.

Happy Holidays to the New Knicks, and the loyal Knicks fans of Knicks Nation. Seats are filling up fast on the bandwagon express, and slowly but surely, we are starting to see light at the end of the tunnel. Here's to a happy and healthy 2007, and god bless Mo' Taylor not being on the squad.

- Chris Childs

(Images appear courtesy of nba.com, covers.com, orlandosentinel.com and knicksonline.com)

The Spirit Catches You, And You Fall Down

[Editor's note: Below, Sip breaks down some of Y2K's 2006 highlights. Enjoy.]

Sorry about the late/short update. I probably should have seen it coming, but Christmas night turned into a bit of drinking orgy at Coles, the local watering hole up here in Buffalo.

I hesitate to even bring this up, but ... you should know -- not for peace of mind, but for whatever the opposite of that feeling is -- what the booze prices here are. They're a little bit ridiculous.

Pitchers of Labatts Blue (the beer of champions) run you a cool $8. Shots are, generally speaking, $3. Car bombs, the staple of 1 a.m. bad-decision-makers, cost only $5.

Did somebody say Canadian beer sucks? This one? Grab that asshole. Oh, you're going to ...

...

Sorry. Flashback there for a second. Whoosh.

That's what happens to you after spending six months in the high-priced heaven that is the isle of Manhattan. These nights in Buffalo start out cheap, but even when the marginal utility of each drink is down around your ankles, the compulsion to take advantage of the prices is quite strong. The end result? Come morning, my wallet is still too light to fathom.

So, that's clearly all to the better.

But amidst the haze of alcohol, cold mist and drunken girls, another picture emerges up here. And that is the scene of a town wild for its team.

Sabres Time, baby. It's taking over.

We all know that feeling. We all remember this fall, not too long ago, when Los Mets took over the city during their magical late-season/playoff fun. We remember the emotions that bubbled up to the surface.

When your team is on a roll, everything seems a little bit brighter to the naked eye. Your life improves in about a million little ways, each almost imperceptible in and of themself but devastating as a collective.

Food tastes better. Beer tastes MUCH better. The newspaper seems to scream "Read Me!" off the rack, daring you to read the latest story about your beloved club.

Well, believe me when I say my hometown is in the middle of a season-long high about our hockey club. To such an extent, mind you, that even the completely awful loss the Bills suffered Sunday at the hands of Vince Young and the Titans couldn't really kill the buzz.

There was booing in the stadium at the coaching idiocy of that affair, which I won't recap here. But on the walk back to the car through the parking lot? "LET'S GO SABRES! (clap clap clap clap clap). The whole way through. I was bummed out of my mind, but the town couldn't help but try to pick me up.

People are excited. Merchandise is flying off the racks. Your Buffalo Sabres are the most exciting thing to hit the ice since a young Scott Hamilton, straight embarassing cats on the nightly. It's a team with no superstars, but plenty of winners.

I think I've already gone on a rant about my boys, but I'm inspired to recap for those of you just joining us from the old site.

To start, there's Ryan Miller, the shaggy young American goalie who takes down high school chicks and rolls with the confidence of the top jersey seller in the National Hockey League. I'm actually not engaging in any Y2K-patented exaggeration when I say that Miller and Cheddar Sam, the official brother of Cheddar Ben, are basically competing for the same 18-year-olds up here. They don't like each other very much.

What this says about Miller, I'm not sure.

There's Maxim Afinigenov, a mulleted rocket and the tricksiest Russian this side of Gorky Park. Every time this guy gets the puck, the arena literally goes silent. He cuts on a dime, weaves in and out of defenders, and is basically unstoppable. This is the guy the new rules were made for.

We can't forget about Little League hero Chris Drury, or wild red-headed terror Brian Campbell (think Chris Chelios meets Byrnesy), or bad-ass winger Jason Pominville, who has his own section of fans up in the 300 level at the HSBC Arena. (They carpet the area with signs that say "Welcome to Pominville.")

I don't expect that Y2K readers should know these guys, or really even need to get into them. Sure, it might be a nice respite from the boring-ass superstars in the Garden, or the burnouts out on the Island, or the slow-rolling train wreck that is New Jersey Devil fandom. But that's clearly your call.

It's just that the spirit is here, and it's infectious. Every game is an event, to the point that I can't get tickets for tonight's game against the Caps and the Sabres' own personal Ivan Drago, Alexander Ovechkin. The bars will be packed. The buzz will be inescapable.

This is fun, and I'm going to miss it when I come back to New York on Friday. But hey, it's the off-season here at Y2K, and there's plenty of room for updates from the other end of the state. We're the big tent party. And there's room for all to play.

Sip's Post Christmas Special

I just looked at my cellphone. It was 12:26 on 12/26. Now I am freaked out.

Christmas for the Sip was ever so merry. I went over to Steamin' Mikey Lehman's house for some Chinese food that his mother prepared around lunch time.

Then I played in an online poker tournament -- Note: I hate online poker -- but figured it might be a good way to pass the day.

Finally I watched two pretty crummy football games.

Merry Christmas!

It has been a great year here at Y2K.

- My writing skills have improved from a 10th grade level to perhaps an 11th or 12th grade level.

- We have added a ton of new members to the team.

- We have a new sleek website

- Readership is way up

- Groupies won't leave AFOMG and me alone (forget Cheddar, that kid has been secretly dating Amanda Bynes for months now)

- I found a potential future wife in the First Lady of Y2K, Ms. Coop

- We developed a solid relationship with Byrnesy

- The Mets had a great year while the Yankees did not

- A lot of players on the Mets look like celebrities. This is probably my all time favorite Y2k article so have a look if you have not already.

- While David Wright and Jose Reyes got substantial pay raises, we have made about $40 in google ads off this precious little gem of ours here. Thats right, we do this for the paper.

- Billy Wagner enters the game to my favorite song of all time, only to come out as John Franco South.

- Julio Franco is about as old as my father and he too is pretty sweet. Does that mean that all old people are sweet?

- Lindsay Lohan is looking promising with the new black hair. She is definitely a target when Sip makes the move back out west.

- The New Knicks actually have a glimmer of hope. Isiah is still unbearable. He defends his position saying he was rebuilding. This all would have been fine and good if he realized this three years ago. But instead, it took him three years to start rebuilding, meaning the process will take 6 years, which is unacceptable.

- I get it, Isiah made it out of a rough neighborhood. Thanks for the weekly reminder, Isiah. Doesn't mean it's OK that you have ruined the Knicks.

- Alex Rodriguez had a painful postsesaon yet again.

- Unit to the D-Backs?

- The Giants had perhaps the worst second half of a season in recent decades. Tom Coughlin needs to be outta here. In fact, so do most of our coaches.

- I just lost 20 lbs not drinking for a month. Strange but true.

- AFOMG got a fancy new chain and truly resembles a Goo Goo Doll.

- You can save 15% or more by switching to Geiko?

- Cheddar Ben is the future Walter Cronkite.

- Section 423 resident, Chris Childs, catch him on E's Daily Ten, every week.

- Lou Monte and Steamin, very strong showing outta the Class of '02.

- Cousin Dan loves his wife and he loves college sports almost as much.

- And finally all of you guys are pretty fierce. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. We will be here all week so don't forget about us on this week of ZERO work.

-And as always, all we want for Christmas is for you all to spread the gospel that is our website to as many people as you know, so that one day, we can do Y2K for a living.

Vaya con dios,

Sip

(Images courtesy of usmovies1.com, tsn.ca, and emimusic.com)

Cousin Dan's Christmas Special

(Note: Sip will be back in a few with some ill...)


Welcome to a Christmas Day edition of the Y2K-U. Cousin Dan reporting live from the in-laws here in beautiful Lawrence, KS. I hope every one of my three readers took advantage of my 3-0 bowl picks against the numbers in my column, because obviously yours truly found ways to parlay them with losers. Oh well. Tis still merry here.



1) Picks for this week: Off the aforementioned 3-0, here’s a few more winners to fire at you that I will not take advantage of due to my newfound gambling moratorium. The Cousin likes Florida State (UCLA, notwithstanding the USC thing, is not good); Texas A&M (Cal still remembers that a horrid loss to Arizona kept them out of the Rose Bowl, and the Bears got clobbered the last time they played in San Diego. Also, the underdog ALWAYS covers in the Holiday); and Wisconsin (Bret Bielema, who’s a good coach, will make the Razorbacks pass, which Arkansas simply can NOT DO). Best bet: Navy (does BC even have a coach? No coach equals no stopping the triple option).

2) The most wonderful bowl of the year: In this column, we’re unabashed homers for the Scarlet Knights, since we do so love Cousin Tonks, and he does so love the Banks of the Raritan. However, we’re also journalists from a former life, so if you ask us to predict the game in Morgantown, we tell you WVU probably wins. Well, such journalistic ethics don’t carry here in the Sunflower State, where an otherwise awesome sports panel show (note: not sarcasm. Like a local PTI. Great effort.) was marred by two homers – one of whom runs the K-State message board – predicting that K-State would run away with the Texas Bowl because, well, they like K-State. Tom Fitzgerald from GoPowerCat.com or whatever – you’re better than that. (Unless you’re not).

3) And he threw two more touchdowns in the parking lot: One of my losing parlays including the Hawaii-Arizona State over, which failed because Hawaii forgot to play in the first half.



But once the Rainbow Warriors got going, that was real fun. Colt Brennan had nearly four hundred yards and five TDs in the second half of a game you missed while digesting your Christmas ham. And former Sun Devil coach Dirk Koetter showed why he is a former coach, punting with 2:30 left down 10. Typical gutsy play from the Sip’s potentially future alma mater.

4) Let’s just say if he had a good year, he would have passed: It was hardly surprising to see that Reggie Ball failed some test which meant that he was suspended for the Gator Bowl. After all, you can ask any Georgia fan how Ball does on big tests. We assume Ball’s a good guy, but he’s got as much clutch as a car with an automatic transmission. [Rim shot, we’ll be here all week, enjoy the veal.]

5) Glory days, they’ll pass you by: When your own alma mater doesn’t qualify for the postseason, it’s particularly sad when there are Armed Forces and Poinsettia Bowls featuring the Troys and Middle Tennessees of the world. So, on ESPN-U on Christmas Day, we happily caught the Virginia-Georgia bowl game from 1995. The Cavs won behind a gritty rushing attack from a soph RB named Tiki Barber.



Ah, 1995. That was also the last year our beloved Wahoos won a game in March Madness. Which essentially means that in-state “rival” George Mason won four more tournament games last year than Virginia has in the last decade.

6) And we can probably make that 12 years: Two Virginia items in a row, but that should be ending soon because the men’s basketball team is proving to be as unwatchable as the football team. The fighting Leitaos laid an absolute egg in a Puerto Rico tournament, losing to Appalachian State (the very best university in all of Boone, NC!) and then Utah by 24 before eking by 0-8 Division II University of Puerto Rico by 7. FYI, after beating U.Va, Utah lost the next day by 33 to a rather, uh, pasty Northwestern

7) Avert your eyes, it’s like a Vitale compliment: Dookie V takes a lot of heat in this column, but compared to some of the local college basketball announcers, he’s positively Vin Scully. On the way to Lawrence, we listened to the Kansas-Boston College game with some relic of an announcer stating what had clearly happened ten seconds earlier. For example, “yadda yadda yadda story-from-1965 yadda [loud cheers] blah blah blah blah and Chalmers scores! Story-from-1965 continues yadda…” Note to college announcers: we can’t see what’s happening, so for the love of goodness please tell us what’s happening. That’s all we care about. We promise.

8) Avert your eyes II, it’s like a Duke compliment: Grudgingly, we will credit “No. 5” Duke for their win at MSG over Gonzaga. (This should prepare them well for their first road game, which is still just fifteen days away).



The good news for us Blue Devil haters is that Greg Paulus – who, you may recall, was the top prep point guard in the country a few years back because Coach K said so – elevated his game all the way to “not execrable” (link to: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/execrable) in the victory. Hopefully, this will allow the Ratface to maintain his loyalty to all-those-who-look-like-Wojo so Paulus can cost them a few more games.

9) It’s not a college sports item, unless you consider that he played in the best college game of the year: Not to go all Sports Guy on you, but sometimes you need to have someone in the draft room to remind you that test scores and Heisman trophies aren’t what actually matter on the football field. For example, was there anyone on the planet who watched the two play in college and was like, “yeah, Ron Dayne is a better football player than Shaun Alexander”? In any case, forget Reggie Bush for a second—how did the Texans not think Vince Young would be better than David Carr? On Sunday, Young may have done the first ever end-of-half drop-back-for-Hail-Mary-then-run-untouched-into-end-zone-for-a-long-touchdown. By the way, Young never ever loses any more.

10) Final Question: When Yanni releases his Ivy game of the year, do you dare not play it big? Keep ‘em comin’ in 2007, Big Cash!

The Sip Is So Back

(Note: A piece by Cheddar Ben about the Yankees farm team leaving Columbus appears immediately below.)

Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers.

I feel like Steve Stifler right now.

Life is pretty good. Last night I had my first drink in 31 days, an all time record for me and one that I can't see myself ever breaking.

This morning I had a chance to catch up on some Steamin' Mikey Lehman Yankee bashing and I'm utterly shocked.

This kid can hardly talk, yet somehow, some way he writes pretty good... kidding Mikey, but always fun to take a jab via the Blogosphere. Sippy Momo, internet thug, WHAT!

As a Jew, I am approaching what I used to think was the most depressing day of the year: Christmas.

It used to be that while all my Christian friends were really happy, I was really, really bored.

But now that there are NBA and NFL games, and now that I finally realized that the smart move was hitting up the all-you-can-drink Chinese food place by my house somewhere around 11:30 a.m., Christmas is all of a sudden turning into a pretty sweet day for us kings of Hollywood and Wall Street.

To give you a "10-12 things I hope for on Christmas" would be wrong because I am sure that AFOMG is going to write that some time this weekend. I don't even really feel like talking about sports at all right now, but I don't know if that would fly around here.

So here are a couple of quick thoughts.

I think David Stern's suspensions of Carmelo Anthony, JR Smith, Nate Robinson and co. were racially driven.

If that was David Lee fighting Ersan Ilyasova, they each get 2 games.

It is obvious that Stern is trying to rid the NBA of its thug image (read: the dress code) and by dishing out huge suspensions he is sending a message.

But still, come on. Hockey has fights every game, so does football. Let these guys throw some punches. The Garden hasn't seen that much energy in a basketball game in the better part of a decade.

And it is somewhat shocking to me that JR Smith has as many tatoos as he has. The kid is 20 and has like 94 tatoos. I don't have any. But don't those things take sometime to heal?

Baseball sucks

The Braves had to dump Marcus Giles for financial reasons. It kills me that my favorite sport is one where my arch rival can't afford to pay one of their best players and therefore loses him. That isn't fair.

The Rangers have four guys in the top 20 in scoring.

When I was a kid I was a huge hockey fan. When the Rangers won the Cup I was as happy as they come.

I remember when they got Mark Messier I thought it was the coolest thing in the world because the Rangers finally had someone that would make the paper for scoring some points.

The days of Tomas Sandstrom were supposedly behind us.

And so yesterday, while reading the bible (NY Post) I read that the Rangers are all over the net and apparently Sydney Crosby is leading hockey in scoring.

Isn't that kid 14?

I don't know. I thought it was cool.

Caught the Knicks game on Wednesday.

Only the Knicks could have two last second shot attempts with 20 seconds left on the clock to start the possession and settle for chucking 20 footers and then win on an alley-oop with 0.1 seconds remaining.

Isiah is truly the worst.

Also, Eddy Curry almost died on Wednesday. He and Channing Frye play ZERO defense.

That was my third Knicks game this year and I have already seen Malik Allen and Primoz Brezec combine for 36 points. The other center I caught, Fabricio Obierto, has SICK hair.

That's all I got. Have a great Christmas guys. A big thank you to Sip Sr. and Mom dukes. Despite denying me Christmas all year, they are about as awesome a set of parents as a young blogger could have.

Stay low guys.

Merry Christmas.

Vaya con dios,

Sip

(Pictures courtesy of Draftreview.com, Prosportpictures.com, 300bucks.ca)

Clipped

Oh, come on now. Here's Harvey Araton in the Times this morning.

Goodbye Columbus, may your minor league prospects forever prosper, just like Pettitte, a Yankee original, one of the lucky ones who made the perilous flight aboard the cynically dubbed shuttle, landing safely and securely in the South Bronx in 1995. ... Beginning next season, young Yankees willbe summoned from, or dispatched to, the franchise's new Class AAA outpost in the area around Scranton and Wilkes-Barre in Pennsylvania. The drive will be made in two hours. Maybe someone will send a limo. "It won't sound the same," Merrill said wistfully.

So that's what Columbus asked for for Christmas -- a handjob in the paper of record. Not a bad little stocking stuffer (bad pun alert!), all things considered. I mean, it's on my list too. But why is Araton going for this sort of dreck?

I'd show you the rest, but TimesSelect prevents me from doing so. Suffice to say that Harvey catches up with former Yankee and Clippers manager Stump Merrill and reminisces about how great Columbus was. To which any sensible person says, "What in the hell are you talking about?"

Now, there are any number of reasons not to write this column. For one, Columbus sucks. It's a sprawling Midwestern shithole with a massive inferiority complex and the biggest group of asshole football fans you've ever seen. When the Y2K Style Guide (grammar, not duds) goes live early in the next year, we will not be encouraging cats to call it "THE Ohio State University." Put that in the bank.

Secondly, it's especially crappy. When the obligatory Norfolk sendoff column is written, at least you can write that the weather was decent, the park was new and perfectly serviceable, and the whole thing was right next to the beach. If that's not something you can get excited about, it's nothing to sneeze at.

With Columbus, feel free to snot all over that. The ballpark there was in shambles, easily the worst in the IL. Clippers fans had long ago been drained away by the Crew and whatever it else central Ohioans do when OSU isn't in session. Lose elections, presumably.

But aside from being a crappy, "It's the holidays" blowoff type of column, Araton conveniently forgets what a prospect wasteland Columbus has been since the raison-d'etre for this Web site came into existence.

There's a reason Araton called up Merrill, who hadn't managed the Clippers since 1998, and that's because the Clippers basically haven't been used since at least then. Perhaps further back. This is a clear and entirely sensible consequence of trying to buy your way to a championship.


Who gets mentioned in the column? Jeter, Pettitte, Bernie, Posada and an Aussie washout named Mark Hutton. Exactly. The Yankees haven't come up with a real farm kid since Jeter showed up in '95, and Pettitte was the last pitcher.

Which is sort of the point. For any number of reasons, Columbus has not been a productive baseball town since the first Clinton term. Uber-Yankee writer Steve Goldman hammers on the Yankees' inability or unwillingness to trust young players every chance he gets.

Sometimes, it's Joe Torre's complete and debilitating lack of faith in anyone who hasn't won a World Series for him. Sometimes, it's management's happy trigger finger, unwilling to wield the necessary patience with the younger types.

On the current Yankees roster, we've got the Cancer-Curing Kid, Robby Cano; the tricksy Chien-Ming Wang, possibly my most hated player in the majors, and Got Melky Cabrera, soon to be shipped to Pittsburgh for reliever Mike Gonzalez. And this, my friends, might as well be a revolution.

Of all our least favorite Yankee squads from 2001 to 2005, how many had farm products on them? None. Shane Spencer was still around on the bench, before they shipped him out of town, as was Ted Lilly. Nick Johnson got some dap before they swapped him for the highly successful Javy Vazquez.

The Yankees have been shipping prospects out of their system for as long as a lot of us have been following baseball. Mike Lowell. Jake Westbrook. Craig Wilson, the first time. Sal Fasano, for the love of all that's holy.

If you were a young guy, you got once chance before they moved your ass. Admiral Halsey had a fantastic first start against the Red Sox, muffed his second one, and was in Arizona before he knew what happened. So was Dioner Navarro, at that time the Yanks' top prospect aside from the crap-out Drew Henson/Eric Duncan duo. Now, the Bombers' catching situation is nearly dire, and Navarro's set to break out with Tampa.

This is a vital characteristic of the hateable Yankees, and Araton pretends not to have noticed. Well, guess what? We noticed.

Even more importantly, this column was a wasted opportunity. There's plenty to say about the tenuous state of AAA baseball, arguably at the lowest point in its history.

You've got the structural/prospect issues tearing at its importance. Most top youngsters these days jump right from AA to the majors, bypassing their former proving grounds in the IL/PCL. If you're a baseball fan in Sac-town or Indianapolis or Buffalo, this is not really to your benefit. Reasonable food prices won't save you there.

Then, there's the trickle-down effect of the level jumping -- the players left behind are older, and mostly less interesting. Baseball Prospectus' Clay Davenport has the average age of the AAA player at 27.4, which is pretty damn up there. Again, Jeff Manto (the real-life Crash Davis) sideshows aside, fans will pay to see the stars of the future, not Enrique Wilson.

There are points to be made about potential financial support from organizations swimming (hello, Ted Lilly contract) in cash. A couple mil here and there could shore up fan bases the nation over, but front offices don't seem to be thinking in those terms.

But no. As far as Araton is concerned, the plane to Columbus had a funny name, and Stump Merrill did some interesting things. Let's go nuts.

And with all the metaphorical ground available for exploration in the New York/New Orleans connection ... well, watch your ass.

The Softest Dudes in New York Baseball

(Note: The latest in our weekly column on the Knicks appears immediately below.)

Before we get going this morning I’d like to address a comment made about the article last week. Essentially, the reader complained that my list of shit-talkers only included players from the last ten years and could therefore not be labeled an all-time list. This is a fair-point and I apologize for mislabeling the list. I’m only 23.

However, whatever twirp anonymously decided to rudely sound off about my Rickey blurb needs to check himself. Be careful before you get sarcastic with Steamin’ Mikey Lehman.

I love the rest of you.

Now, the only way to appropriately follow up the biggest shit-talkers in recent Mets history would be to make a list of the softest dudes in New York baseball. Enjoy:

Right Field: Paul O'Neill

Ultimate warrior? More like the ultimate crybaby. Can anybody remember one time a strike was called on this guy and he didn’t carry on like a spoiled 9-year-old for 15 minutes aftewards?

I don’t know about you, but when I see that pathetic, quivering lip, constipated, why-me face, it doesn’t really conjure up images of the classic American tough-guy.

And if I hear one more Yankee fan use the words Paul O’Neill and Hall of Fame in the same sentence I might make that same face. What hall are we talking about here, guys? The hall of mediocrity?

Center Field: Bernie Williams

Bernie Williams might be the softest dude I have ever seen in my entire life. He’s probably the the last guy I’d want sticking up for me in a baseball brawl. Not to mention he might be the least exciting athlete in professional sports.

Can anybody remember one time they didn’t find themselves nodding off and drooling on their T-shirt during a Bernie at-bat? Anybody? Anybody? Thought so.

Left Field: David Justice

A cool name is about the only thing this herb had going for him. His cue ball head and choppy swing didn’t last long in New York. Even Yankee fans hated this guy.

First Base: Jason Giambi

It’s too bad Giambi made this list because only a few years back in Oakland he might have been one of the biggest bad asses in the game.

Then he went corporate, signed the fat contract with the Yankees, shaved the goatee, combed the hair, got busted for steroids, and has pretty much become the most pitiful guy in the game. Maybe he could’ve gotten rid of the greasy male stripper look while he was at it.

Giambi probably still asks George Steinbrenner if he’s allowed to use the bathroom every time he takes a dump in the clubhouse.

Second Base: Chuck Knoblauch

Wait, can somebody remind me what happened here? After ten years in the big leagues (and a lifetime of playing the game before that) the guy forgets how to throw a baseball? You can’t be serious.

One day Knoblauch woke up, literally started throwing like my 86-year-old grandmother, and spent the rest of the season moping around the diamond hanging his head. The Yankees then start encouraging fans to get behind the guy, support him, and help him get through this difficult time.

So let me get this straight. Some second baseman making $8 million can’t throw the ball 50 feet and I’m supposed to feel bad for him? How about people with real problems? Dude should not be allowed near a baseball stadium for the rest of his life.

Shortstop: Derek Jeter

Be sure to pick up DJ’s new cologne, Driven, in stores now.

Third Base: Alex Rodriguez

Not until Alex Rodriguez brought his metrosexual act to the Bronx did New Yorkers really learn the meaning of soft.

A-Rod’s insecurities and shortcomings have been so eagerly dissected over the past three seasons that I feel bad even going after the guy. It must be because he’s so good-looking.

Catcher: Jorge Posada (apologies Jimmy Leyritz)

Has anybody noticed that when Jorge gets a hit the scoreboard at Yankee Stadium reads “Hip Hip Jorge!” How has this not been the butt-end of a thousand jokes since the guy was called up in 1996? Also, while we’re at it, go check out his picture under the ESPN.com players section. God that’s hilarious.

SP: Carl Pavano

There are a lot of Yankee pitchers I have hated over the years and, to be honest, I don’t really give a shit about Pavano. But I had to stick to the theme of this list and this guy is soft. Really soft. If we’re talking physically, Pavano might be as brittle than anybody in history. Although maybe we should idolize him - $40 mil to do nothing. He scored himself a pretty sweet deal.

RP: Mariano Rivera

His numbers are obviously very strong, but I still don’t understand how this guy has been so successful with only one pitch. Nonetheless, he's skinny and sickly looking, and I’d bet my sister that A.F.O.M.G could break Mariano in half.

Enjoy the weekend, everybody.

- Steamin' Mikey Lehman

(Note: The images above appear courtesy of mlb.com)

Section 423: 10 Things to Do in Denver When You're Thugged Out

(Note: Steamin' Mikey Lehman will be in with a piece later in the day today.)

1. Appearring on Lala "Anthony's" XM Radio show.
2. Host a charity softball game at Mile High followed by a Lloyd Banks concert.
3. Skipping practice to buy 2008 Yukons.
4. Snowmobile racing for jewelry.
5. Slipping 151 into Earl Boykins Diet Dr. Pepper on the team bus.
6. Hiding your weed in Edujardo Najera's bag on road trips.
7. Catching head in a new 2008 Yukon from Kiki Vandeweghe's daughter.
8. Opening a sports bar with a sunday gospel brunch.
9. Dropping a mixtape with Rick Ross called "Snow Men."
10. Shopping for matching elbow sleeves.

What a week at the Garden, and how fitting, that during the year long celebration of the 50 Greatest Moments @ The World's Most Depressing Arena, we should be so lucky to add three more.

Things kicked off earlier in the week with the Denver B.A.I. Nugetts, and what will forever remembered for Mike Breen's call of, "And down goes Mardy Collins."

First off, 'Melo is a bitch, and Nate is a thug and scrapped his way out of my dog house. Melo threw what had to be the definition of an "NBA" punch, and then retreated back to his bench and hid behind some Alex English looking dude in a suit. Nate The Great on the other hand was deep into celebrity row throwing punches like a rabbit.

While the fight is not as historic as Chris Childs punching Kobe in the face, or both playoff fights vs the Heat (PJ Brown is a Nazi), it does signify a new era in New York, or rather the return of an old era. There is a fire lit in the hearts of these Knick warriors. A sense of pride and dignity swept the Garden, despite Jared "Band Aid, Brace face" Jeffries tripping all over himself...what a trainwreck.

The second memorable moment of the week came on a three-second, two-dribble highlight that will stand the test of time. The Knicks were having their way with one of the league's best teams in the Jizzaz when they of course fell apart on several Daren Williams rainbow threes. Not only am I surprised that this dude is even in the league, you should have seen my jaw as it sat wide open in wonderment.

But then, the basketball gods finally blessed the prodigal son, and Starbury shined bright once again. The buzz was back. Overtime wins at home are the stuff of legend, while losses rip at the soul and birth demons. It was another solid game for David Lee... this kid is really letting the world know that he is the truth.

Last but not least, Wednesday night's classic with those pesky Bobcats. An athletic and young team, the Charlotte squad put up a better fight than expected.

Once again, at the end of regulation, the team stands around and watches Crawford. He always starts his drives too late in the countdown, and ends up settling for a jacked up 18-footer off a deep crossover.

It's weak, predictable, and ineffective. At least Marbury, in addition to jacking 18 footers, can get in the lane and create something for those around him. Crawford is the abyss.

But with one tenth of a second left, after showing the footage that created the 'Trent Tucker' rule, lightening would strike on the Truth David Lee, and his magical tip gave the Knicks their second overtime victory in as many games.

It just worked, and it felt so good. Losing at home to Charlotte would have been a horrible feeling. The Garden breathed a collective sigh of relief as the orange and blue chalked up another much need victory.

So it's Christmas time, and the Knicks gave their hundreds of loyal fans 3 extra special gifts on the early side of the holiday. These are the moments we tell our children, and our grandchildren.

These Knicks are the Children of Men. The time is now.

- Chris & Mase

(Note: The images that appear in this article appear courtesy of chieftan.com and nba.com.)

YouTube's Finest

YouTube. Kind of a big deal right now. Its innovator just got paid. Its users just got named Time’s People of the Year. Big things are happening over there.

Me, my experience with YouTube is kind of limited. Friends send me links from time to time. If I’ve got nothing to do at work I may search for videos from my favorite bands or comedians. That’s been about it.

But not today. See, this little site we run here, we gotta have something up for you every day. On a day like today, that presents me, the writer, with two options: write perhaps our 84th piece on Barry Zito, or use my imagination.

Really, the Zito thing’s been done. That doesn’t mean we won’t have more content on him. At some point he’ll either sign with the Mets or he won’t, and when that day comes we’ll either celebrate or we’ll mourn.

In the meantime though, I can’t really offer you anything on the Zito sweepstakes that you didn’t read in the papers this morning. Or here, I can sum up my feelings on Zito thusly: I want him on the team next year. Next?

So back to YouTube. I had a chance to give the online video resource the once over yesterday, and it seems some of you wacky Mets fans out there got to this whole YouTube thing before I did.

There’s no way to do justice to the entire canon of Mets videos out there. However, as far as I can tell (and I base this on about 30 minutes of YouTube exposure yesterday evening, so forgive me if I’m leaving anything out), Mets videos fall into one of the following five categories, which I’ll categorize here with an example of each.

1. The ‘Mets Do Something Good, and Nothing Captures the Moment Like a Cellphone’ Video.

Clinching, for example, or someone hitting a home run. These videos are meant to bring you back to a particular point in time, and by god if they’re not good at doing just that.



Honestly, I’m a sucker for this kind of thing, and videos such as the one above are right in my wheelhouse. They give me goosebumps every time.

To those who produce videos such as this and have the wherewithal to post them on YouTube, cheers. As we will see, it only goes downhill from here.

2. The ‘I’m Kind of a Psychotic in My Mets Appreciation, and I’m Going to Prove it to You’ Video.



Look at that video. What the eff is going on there? I really hope this male cheerleader isn’t part of our audience. If he is, I’d like to talk to him. Find out what was going through his mind when he agreed to let somebody film him doing this routine.

The comment by “deedub24” really captures it all, so let’s turn it over to him (I won’t correct for spelling, it adds too much): “that's one of THE corniest videos i have EVER seen. please don't ever do this again. you're a disgrace to Mets fans everywhere. i hope a Yankee or Brave fan doesn't see this shit cuz we as Mets' fans will never hear the end of it."

From your lips to god's ears, deedub.

3. The ‘Death Metal Gets Me Really Fucking Pumped, and So Do the Mets’ Video.



Remember Papa Roach? “Brod615” sure does! Set to the backdrop of a 6-year old song, the above clip from Brod615 (Talisman?) captures the essence of the death metal variety Mets clip.

The idea here is to inspire. In fairness, these videos do not always feature death metal, but a shockingly high percentage do. Why death metal? Because sometimes steroids, Red Bull, and coke just aren't enough.

4. The “Wow, the Mets Just Found a Way to Rip My Heart Out of My Chest, Here’s How I’m Handling It” Video.

Unfortunately, these are far too numerous.



What do you expect? This team, love it though we do, hasn't always been good to us. There have been some dark moments, and unfortunately enough, one of those moments occurred in the post-YouTube world. Hence the numerous videos of people in a drunken rage, crying their eyes out, paralyzed by their emotional pain, etc.

Sigh. At least these two had a sense of humor about it.

5. The ‘Holy Shit, Did Endy Just Catch That?’ Video.

I couldn’t leave you on a sour note.



Is this a “Mets Do Something Good, and I Was There” by another name? Yes. I concede that. Whatever. Watch it and be happy.

(Note: If this last video won't play, you can watch it here.)

- A.F.O.M.G.

(Note: The picture above appears courtesy of mlb.com)

Why Poker is Definitely Not a Sport

These last couple of nights have been high stress mode for the Sip. On Sunday, the Giants lost and my fantasy team let me down like none other (Read: Marc Bulger, Bears D, Tatum Bell) in some favorable matchups.

Last night I had Carson Palmer playing against the Colts.

You see where I am going. Sunday and Monday were long, sleepless nights. I found myself, like many other nights, watching replays of the World Series of Poker.

Poker to me may be the biggest paradox in my life.

I love to play poker. I love the gambling and the strategy.

I actually love to watch poker. I think it makes for pretty good television. It is something that I can relate to and can judge and potentially learn from.

But I actually HATE poker.

I hate poker because poker has replaced Star Wars, magic cards, dungeons and dragons and science as the thing that all nerds do. I find the type of people that congregate at casinos and appear on ESPN to be despicably corny. But still I want to beat them.

Poker players call poker a sport. I think that is about the dumbest thing in the world. It is a sport to them because they couldn't play baseball or football.

Here are a few reasons why Poker is not a sport.

1. "I'm playing well, right?"

The famous words of this year's WSOP champion, Jamie Gold, at the final table (The Final 9 players of over 8,000).

Here was a guy that was steamrolling through the largest poker tournament ever, and yet he was so insecure of himself and his abilities that he had to ask his mentor, poker legend Johnny Chan, if he was playing well.

Imagine Dwyane Wade going for 50 in the finals, and then asking Pat Riley if he is playing well, and being truly curious.

2. The co-ed factor.

Name a sport where men and women compete against each other. The only one that comes to mind is mixed doubles in tennis, and tennnis players view that as more of an exhibition.

First, let me say that I support women's atheltics. I am in many ways pro Title IX and think it is great when women take interest in sports.

So I don't mean this in any kind of pejorative way, but sports, by their nature, are dominated by men. As far as I can tell there's nothing that can change the fact that men are physically more powerful, which makes them better athletes.

I'm not trying to offend anyone by saying that, nor do I think I'm saying anything particularly controversial -- it just seems kind of plain. It's the reason why the fastest/strongest men are faster than the fastest/strongest women -- it's just the way it is. Sports favor big, dumb jocks (see point 5 below), and the fact is that males can be bigger and dumber than females.

The result is that Lisa Leslie couldn't play in the NBA. Jenny Finch couldn't pitch in the major leagues. Michelle Wie has come up short in her attempts on the PGA tour. And other than Kathy Ireland in Neccesary Roughness, I haven't seen many women in football.

But Annie Duke can compete with men. That's not a problem by any means, but it should be considered when examining the whole "is poker a sport?" debate. To varying degrees, all sports place physical demands upon the participants. This is not true of poker.

3. The money factor.

The only thing it takes to be a pro poker player is money. If I had a ton of it, I could go to Vegas right now, play all day, every day and consider myself a pro.

It'd be like if Brandon Davis, that greasy loser who appears on Page 6 all the time and gave Lindsay Lohan her infamous nickname, Firecrotch, while stumbling around like a drunken mess, could use his oil inheritance money to join the Mets.

4. Phil Helmuth.

Anything that Phil Helmuth is supposed to be the best at in the world is not a sport.

5. The cool factor.

Think back to high school. Think of the jocks. You have the big meatheads, the tall kids, the really strong kids and occastionally the really fast kids. They made up your basketball, football, baseball and even track teams.

They were referred to as jocks because they were the kids that played sports. No one referred to the kid in the library reading books on Game Theory as a jock.

5A. The math factor.

A continuation of #5. Poker requires a ton of math to excel. Sports and math don't mix.

Do you think George Gervin used math to hit bank shot after bank shot? No, he just shot.

And do you think Phil Mickelson uses math to measure his golf swing? Maybe some simple counting, as in, that drive went 335 yards, but beyond that?

Poker requires math. Sports and math. Jocks hate math. Who doesn't hate math? Well, I kind of liked math as a kid and that makes sense.

I write about sports! I am not a professional.

6. No press conferences.

If poker was a sport, it would have press conferences.

Press conferences make sports great. They are the after-dinner cocktail that relaxes you and make you smile after a hard fought battle.

Every sport has a press conference but not poker. When you watch a press conference like this, you understand why that's a big deal.

7. Who doesn't belong on this list?

Albert Pujols, Peyton Manning, LeBron James, Mike Matusow.

Good answer.

8. When you lose, you really win.

Poker is a game where making the best play is often not rewarded and is instead punished.

A guy has two aces, goes all in and loses to a guy with two 10s.

The guy with the two aces did everything right. He made the right play and executed it to perfection. Yet luck allows him to lose, time after time after time.

I was thinking of baseball where a pitcher makes a perfect pitch only to see a hitter throw a shitty swing on the ball which pushes the ball for a bloop base hit. But this is not analagous.

The hitter still made a great counter play.

Poker is a game where playing perfectly often results in losing due to factors outside of the control of the participant.

If Kobe Bryant hits every shot in a game his team will win.

If Tiger Woods strokes the ball perfectly with every swing he will win.

If Steve Trachsel pitches perfectly for 9 innings of 4 hour baseball, he will win.

But in poker, all we ever see is guys who play perfectly losing. Because luck has way too much influence over the game. And luck cannot be a factor as big as skill in any sport. But it comes close in poker.

9. The Sip factor.

I'm not beter than any player in the NBA. (Note: I did not say any coach in the NBA.)

Nor am I better than any baseball player or football player.

But I have strong suspicion that I am as good at poker as some "pros." And let me be the first to admit, my friends, in contrast to speculation out of the West Side Little League back in the late 80's, I am not good enough to be a pro athlete.

10. The game factor.

Isn't poker a game?

When I was a kid I would go out during the day and play sports with my friends. Then I would go home, eat dinner and then play a game with my brother or my dad.

These games included monopoly, Yahtzee, NHL 94 and Madden.

These are all games. They are all competitive, require strategy and skill and all of my friends wanted to be the best.

Each night was great. Oh, I didn't mention that among those games, my family sometimes played poker as well.

Poker is so much closer to Yahtzee and video games then it is to basketball and baseball. These are a thinking man's games not sports.

Which brings me to my final answer.

10A. The sitting factor.

There isn't a single "sport" where you can not only sit down the entire time, but also even fall asleep while participating.

I bring in the sleep factor to defend NASCAR, where drivers require the world's finest reflexes to compete. (I can't believe I am defending race-car driving.)

But in poker you sit. You sit the entire time. You don't use a muscle in your body other than your arm to pick up your occasional beer.

This isn't a sport. This is a leisurely activity.

Just because there is competition does not make it a sport. Me and my buddy Nick the Voice used to compete in intense games of battle shits back in my days as a paralegal.

Does this mean that I can make the argument that going #2 is a sport? Because if I can, then bring it on.

I am officially declaring myself a professional today.

Vaya con Dios,

Sip

(Photos courtesy of msnbc.com, kickasspoker.com, boston.com, www.barzelay.com)

Thuggish Ruggish Omar: Time to Handle Biz

(Note: A piece from Cheddar follows this one from Sweet Lou. Also, Sip will be in with a piece later this afternoon so keep checking in for that.)

After a weekend full of appearances (performing “Lazy Mary” with Mickey Mouse’s severed hands on back-up percussion, checking out this dope art show) and celebrity sightings (the original Pretty Lou, the second Batman), Old Man Monte was feeling a bit under the weather and missed his deadline yesterday.

So I woke up around 11 and did what any other good New York sports fan would on a sick day: read The Times and wish Selena Roberts was hotter, check in with Steamin’ Mikey Lehman about the all-time greatest Mets shit-talkers and watch Nate Robinson thug it on YouTube — 37 times:



My first thought (Damn, Lil’ Nate just loves getting scrappy!) didn’t differ a whole lot from my second (How much would I pay for Jared Jeffries’ stretched-out jersey on eBay?) or, this, my third: Could the Knicks be as badass as they are bad, and could next year’s Mets, inversely, turn out as goodie-goodie as they are good?

It was a rash reaction on my part — some immoral, backwards logic based mostly on two inevitable conclusions that could shake any burnt-out, B-list singer to his core: Cliff Floyd will no longer be a train ride away, and Isiah Thomas is definitely getting away with this.

Uncle Cliff, I thought, was the last vestige of the thuggish-ruggish, Mota-as-the-enemy, bat-chuckin’, Mike-Cameron-lovin’, disguises-wearin’ Mets — that long line of 1998-2005 Flushing Flava that would get your back and talk shit to Larry in the tabloids.

Somehow, after Mardy Collins went all M. Bison on J.R. Smith for the third time, I saw all that personality and pride melting like some TCBY in an upside-down helmet bowl on a Shea summer’s day — as bland and soft as Willie Randolph.

And while the team will have still have stars in Boring Beltran and Cool Carlos and Dimples Dave and Tom Terrifically Not Terrifying, there’s no way, I said to myself, that the 2007 Mets (Pedro included) could hold a brawlers edge over anyone — let alone Isiah’s Death Squad.

Zeke seemed to have used all his soft-spoken ineptitude as a general manager in order to recruit hit men for his thuggish genius as a coach, which would leave a young star taunted and then out of the game for weeks. It was like Willie and Omar, inversed, combined and all-powerful.

But my reaction to a third YouTube replay gave way to my denouement after a 37th, just after Stephon Marbury (and shitty Jazz defense) had gone coast-to-coast to completely bail out Isiah from a miserable (if lucky) coaching performance, though more specifically at the very moment the Big Announcement came across the transom last night: Omar’s going back to Cali.

After all the ruckus about Thomas’ high-volume threat to Carmelo Anthony finishing up fist-to-face, it’s Minaya’s low-key pitch to Barry Zito that’s putting him face-to-face in Scott Boras’ office this evening — hopefully finishing up the Knicks' tabloid terror with a Mets deal inked on the back page by week’s end.

It’s the management balance in Flushing — Willie’s continuous calm roving separately from Omar’s quick-hitting decisiveness — that keeps the Mets the kings of the Hot Stove and keeps them from being called pieces of shit by George Karl (because you know he would). And that’s badass in its own way.

Believe (in Willie and Omar),
Louminati, Jr.

(Note: The pictures above appear courtesy of newspic.mop.com and mlb.com)

It's Pronounced 'Thermometer'

[Ed's note: Sweet Lou Monte will be in with a post later this afternoon.]

A brisk 45 degrees in Morningside Heights as I'm writing this. I mean, whoa. Pretty soon, we're not going to be able to go outside in shorts.

On Sunday [Dec. 17], a couple of us hit up Riverside Park around 3 in the afternoon to play hoops on the outdoor courts, which weren't burdened by anything so cumbersome as snow or ice.

It wasn't a bad setup; me, the White Phil Ivey, Kid Slick and this random middle-aged Chinese dude (with a surprisingly good jumper, as it happened) played 2-on-2 for a while, three games worth of effort. We were sweating when we finished.

The other courts were all occupied. Two fields over, a bunch of dudes had a good baseball game going. The killer aluminum bats were going at full bore, clinking their deathly plinks with regularity. It was like watching an early screening of the "Black Christmas" remake.

Now...

I have nothing against baseball in December per se. It's a big world, and baseball should be a year-round game. Keep the flame going, by all means.

But it shouldn't be anywhere near me in the Northeast, and keeping it entirely out of the country wouldn't be a bad idea. Outsource that shit during the "winter" months.

In fact, why on earth an I allowed to be playing outdoor pickup basketball during Hanukkah? By all rights, I should be only be able to hoop inside a stuffy gym that smells like old cheese and Sip's socks, and have to watch a bunch of old dudes miss about a million jumpers before I get a chance to play. Fair is fair.

By the same token, I want to see baseball being played in the Dominican Republic, and Jose Reyes not playing it, and in Mexico, where ex-Royals pitcher Andy Sisco apparently did something bad enough to ... well, get kicked off a Mexican League team. If Venezuela gets a league together, I'm sure Ozzie Guillen will help organize it.

That's baseball in December. Out of sight, mostly out of mind, just shady enough to keep it interesting.

Another point of order -- any time the Bills are supposed to have a home cold-weather advantage over the Dolphins, baseball shouldn't be played in the same state. Show me the man who'll say it should be.

I don't know about all of Y2K's readers, but I love the change of seasons. I'm not a raving fan of winter, but I like the continuity of the cycle that shifts us from one setting to another, year after year. It's always been reassuring.

Plus, we've tailored (consciously or not) a massive number of societal rhythms to this four-seasons pattern, and none more obvious than the sporting calendar. This just isn't the time for baseball to be played. The time for idle speculation and hot-stove talk, sure. But that feels weird when we haven't even turned the hot stove on yet. (Only Peter Gammons still has an actual hot stove.)

A week out from Christmas is NFL playoff season, the time for fans to finally start having to bundle up for games at the Meadowlands and worry about Chad Pennington's crap arm.

It's the time to trundle home from Knicks brawls through snowbanks, wondering what the hell just happened and what type of drugs Nate Robinson was given as a child.

It's the time for the Rangers' cold weather contingent (aka, the team) to draw strength from the heaps of snow outside the Garden and rally to get beaten by the Sabres one more time.

It's the time for the Mets front office to be taking extravagent trips to Southern California to escape the winter conditions and do some last-minute holiday shopping.

It's the time for snow, quite frankly.

But none comes, or is scheduled to. Most of you probably have this set up already, but my 10-day Weather.com forecast might be the most depressing thing I've seen since "The Majestic." Who's pumped about 50 degrees on Christmas?

This is probably coming off as a self-indulgent rant, but in all seriousness, the conditions are really throwing me off my game. I'm just not sure what to do with myself.

I'm basically like a bat at the moment -- blind, relying on my other senses to carry me around the sporting cave (sonar, baby!), but the strange environment is throwing off my readings just enough so as to render me helpless. This post is me bumping up against a stalagmite.

Now, you might be sitting there thinking to yourself, "Gee, Cheddar Ben, what can I do to help?" More likely, you're probably not. You heartless wretch.

But honestly, helping out doesn't take much. All you need to do to pitch in is go about your business as you would in a more normal December. Keep the routine as solid as possible.

Put on boots to go to work. Do your holiday shopping with a scarf and gloves on. Give a buck to the guy playing 'Silent Night' on the saxamaphone. Don't go swimming at public beaches, or run in Central Park with only a sports bra on (seen this weekend, for the love of ...).

Remember, every little bit counts. With your help, I may get out of this (thud) cave some time before Valentine's Day.

[Images in this post were taken from ESPN.com, horreur-web.com and pbase.com]

The Y2K Interview: Alex Belth

(Note: The latest in our weekly Y2K-U series on college sports follows this post.)

A little something different for you all today. In previous interviews here at the site we've spoken with Mets fans, Mets bloggers, and New York area journalists. This time we're mixing it up a little bit.

Over the summer I attended a panel discussion featuring Matt Cerrone from Metsblog, Will Leitch from Deadspin, and Alex Belth, who runs a website I hadn't been familiar with at the time, Bronx Banter. Alex also writes for Sports Illustrated and has written a biography of Cardinals great Curt Flood.

As regular readers are aware, this is a Mets website. There are times, however, when we have occassion to talk a little shit about our crosstown rivals. But all of us here, we know Yankee fans. Chances are we've all got friends or relatives who are fans of the team. We can be civil.

So it was with a conciliatory spirit that I contacted Alex via e-mail and asked him if he wouldn't mind sharing his thoughts on blogging, journalism, the Mets, the Yanks, and more still. The result of our conversation follows below.

I'd like to thank Alex again for agreeing to participate in this interview, and ask that anyone who should feel compelled to respond on the comment board be respectful of his opinions.

Yankees 2000: What compels you to blog? How did you decide to become a Yankee blogger?

Alex Belth: I had gotten a job where I had access to the internet, this was in the spring/summer of 2002, and previously, although I’m part of the computer generation, I had been pretty slow on the uptake when it came to the internet.

That summer I started reading all these great baseball websites. A guy at work tipped me to the world of blogs. It started with me looking at them, but then you know, with blogspot.com you could sign up for free, so after a couple of months of reading these sites, I thought what the hell, it’ll get me into the habit of writing about baseball on a regular basis if nothing else.

I contacted a guy, John Perricone, who still writes “Only Baseball Matters,” and he was great, very encouraging. Helped set me up, taught me some technical a-b-c’s and I was off and running.

You worry at first about finding things to write about, but that’s the great thing about following or writing about baseball – it’s a year round thing. So whether the stories you write are self generated from your own imagination, or whether you’re responding to something you read in the papers, there’s always something to write about. Plus, I realized early on that there was a very democratic vibe about it all – you could use any angle, any approach that suited your sensibilities.

So I started Bronx Banter in the fall of 2002. I was looking for a hook. I wanted to find a niche, other than simply writing about the Yankees.

I’ve always loved reading in-depth interviews, whether it’s on musicians, artists, filmmakers. So what I ended up doing was conducting long interviews, Q&As, at first with celebrities because I had contacts in the film industry.

From there I developed an interest in interviewing writers. I interviewed Buster Olney, Roger Angell, Allen Barra, Tom Verducci and others still, and through that I sort of became known as the interview guy within a little corner of the blog world.

Beyond the interviews, I always thought, hey, with baseball blogs, the idea is community. The mission statement is to create a hang out for people from all over the world. And I’m always thrilled when I get a note from a reader in Japan or some far flung place.

Y2K: How do you find your work at Bronx Banter compares to your work for Sports Illustrated?

Belth: I’ve written for SI for a year now, been doing other freelance writing outside the blog, and I am more aware now than ever that there’s a difference between blogging and writing.

I don’t mean this pejoratively in any way, but blogging is casual, informal. I think it works best in a Deadspin format – posts that are short, punchy, and frequent. I’m not saying they all need to be like that, but that’s the nature of successful blogging. Like what David Pinto does on “Baseball Musings.”

With writing that appears in SI it’s different, you can’t be so lax. Even if I’m going to write something short and simple, say 1200 words long, for SI, I’m going to write three, four, maybe five drafts of it.

Writing for SI you’re also writing for a different kind of audience. You need structure, a lead, you need to make sure the readers don’t drift off.

Jake Luft is my editor, and he’s a terrific guy and a great editor. I think he gets a kick out of editing the stuff that I do vs. the stuff that some of the more traditional guys do simply because I’m not coming from a cookie-cutter journalism school mentality. He’s taught me a lot and has been incredibly supportive, and ultimately has made me a better writer.

Y2K: You walk the line between the old and new media. Are you ever faced with disdain by old media types?

Belth: It’s interesting because there’s such a sharp division drawn between the two, but it hasn’t been that big of an issue for me. Sure, some reporters have given me the evil eye when I’m in the locker room. I’m new, they don’t know me, and yeah, some of the older guys may have an attitude about it, but it hasn’t manifested itself to me, not in any kind of hostile way. I certainly don’t take that kind of stuff personally.

I think if you handle yourself respectfully and professionally you’ll get on just fine. That holds true in the internet world too. You treat guys on an individual basis. I think the prejudice against bloggers is out there, if that’s what you mean, but I don’t think you’d run into it unless you provoked it.

Let’s be honest though, sportswriting is a very competitive world. It’s easy to blast tabloid writers in New York for their commentary, but it’s hard to blame them when that’s what their editors are demanding. I have admiration for a lot of what those guys do. Which is not to say that I don’t disagree with a lot of the analysis that I read in the mainstream papers, but I don’t think they are all crackpots either.

Y2K: Give me your perspective on the Mets-Yankees rivalry. Do you think it’s as important for Yankee fans as it is for Mets fans?

Belth: Probably not, if you’re going to speak in generalities. The rivalry does exist, but it’s kind of strange, it can be anything you make it, it can mean nothing to you or it can mean everything.

The teams share the same town, so naturally there will be some rivalry. Plus, when you have a team that has been as successful as the Yankees have been for the past hundred years, they are just going to attract rivalries. There were fierce rivalries, of course, between the Giants and the Yankees and the Dodgers and the Yankees, but none of it could compare with the Dodgers-Giants. For me, that’s the way I feel about the Mets and Yankees.

Yankees-Mets can’t compare to Yankees-Red Sox, or, for the Mets, Mets-Braves I guess. In those games you’re actually fighting for something tangible, your standing in the division, the chance to make the playoffs. Again, the Yankees are a team that is going to naturally attract rivalries. Heck, every team in the American League pretty much hates the Bombers.

That said, I don’t want to say Mets-Yankees is a fake rivalry – it’s not. It works because you’ve got Phil and Morty who work together 365 days a year and someone’s gotta have bragging rights, you know?

But I think it’s much more about the fans than the players themselves. Yeah, the organizations are probably into it to a certain extent – Steinbrenner always had a hard-on for the Mets – but I don’t think the players really care too much.

Also, the fact that the two teams play six times a year dulls the rivalry as far as I’m concerned. It’s too much. I’d rather them play one series a year, if they had to play at all. But it’s a huge gate attraction so we know interleague is here to stay.

The way I feel about the Mets personally, I can’t root for them always, but there are times when I can. The truth is that I could never root for them to do better than the Yankees, and for that reason, I rooted for the Cardinals in the NLCS.

I also published a book about Curt Flood earlier this year and so I had a vested interest in St. Louis playing Detroit – a rematch of the ’68 Serious – that had nothing to do with the Mets.

That said, I know enough great Mets fans that if they won, I’d at least be very happy for them.

I have a prejudice against the Mets, but at this point my love for the game outweighs those petty prejudices most of the time. Like when Endy Chavez made that catch, I said, “Aw, hell, if they win this, god bless them, that was catch was ill.”

The way I feel about the Mets in a given year depends largely on their personnel – if I like a lot of their players, like I did this past year, I root for them. Love Cliff Floyd, Carlos Delgado, David Wright, Willie.

Y2K: Mets fans are convinced that a sizeable majority of Yankee fans are fake somehow, that they don’t really care, that they’re fans for social reasons. Do you find this criticism is justified?

Belth: Well, definitely on some level, but look, New York is a front-running town by nature. Yeah, we have great, loyal fans too. But let’s not kid ourselves, there’s lots of bandwagon cats here. In the 80s all those people were out at Shea because the Mets were winning. Now they’re Yankee fans.

The fact is that one of the things that a true, rational, decent-minded Yankee fan has to deal with is a segment of people who are totally spoiled by success. The owner [George Steinbrenner] has always tried to preach this entitled to win attitude, and because they’ve won so much, the fans have picked that up.

I’m a fan of A-Rod, but he gets totally dogged, and I think a lot of the intensity behind that is generated by these people who ignore his overall performance, which is still amazing, because he’s never won a ring. As if winning a ring were as easy as snapping your fingers!

Y2K: So I take it you didn’t want to see A-Rod traded?

Belth: I want to see him hang out here; I want to see him hit a home run to win Game 7 of the World Series. I want to see him do well here.

If anything, his tendency to press in certain situations, to over-think situations, I think it makes him more sympathetic. He was always so perfect, almost like a cyborg, but with this bit of vulnerability he’s shown, it’s something I can identify with. He’s not perfect – I get that!

Sure, he might be a tough personality to warm-up to, but I don’t bother with that stuff so much. I know he works his ass off and tries really hard. If the guy has failings because he’s trying too hard, well, that’s something I can be sympathetic with.

If he had the disposition of Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez would be the best player since Willie Mays. But he doesn’t, and that frustrates a lot of Yankee fans. For me though, it makes him more accessible.

Y2K: Talk about the state of the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry. It seems to me that it’s lost a little steam since 2003-2004. Do you agree?

Belth: I don’t know that it’s lost steam; if it has, it’s only because it was going from a pretty high voltage. Between Game 7 in 2003 and then the Red Sox’ comeback in 2004, it was at the kind of peak like it was in the late seventies or back in 1948, ‘49.

Thing is, the Yankees-Red Sox have ebbed and flowed so much over the years. There have been long stretches of deadspots. But this is still a pretty active period for the rivalry, even if it’s not quite where it was in 2003/04.

Y2K: What are your thoughts on the state of the Yankees heading in to 2007? Do you like the offseason moves they’ve made? Do you feel there’s work left to be done?

Belth: I’m feeling pretty damn good, dude, I think they’re a really good team, and I think they’re a real enjoyable team. I like a lot of the personalities there, and it’s been interesting to watch as Cashman’s shown a tremendous amount of restraint this off-season. As a Yankee fan that’s fun even because it’s a relative novelty.

Look, there are five Yankees in baseball: the Yankees, the Red Sox, the Dodgers, the Mets and the Cubs. Those are the biggest teams who can spend the most money and who shouldn’t suck for any long period of time. They can buy players and they can buy management, smart baseball people who know how to run a team. That’s the curse of the Cubs – horrible management.

To their credit, the Yankees have tons of money and they seem to have a plan. I don’t know that Cashman is a genius, but he’s got a plan.

I’m psyched about Andy being back. When he left I wasn’t sad. I didn’t think he was a bum, but at a point I didn’t have that same love for him that I had for a guy like Bernie or Mariano. But now he’s back, and I’m happy. Go figure.

Y2K: Did you want to see someone else manage the team in 2007?

Belth: Nah. Look at Torre, can you believe he’s lasted as long as he has? He’s 6000 in manager years under Steinbrenner. When you consider Steinbrenner’s track record with managers, Torre’s streak is almost as impressive, or if not as impressive then at least as improbable, as DiMaggio’s 56-game hitting streak. For that reason I want it to go on as long as possible.

I think he’s got flaws as a manager, but as a personality the guy is endearing and likable, an old pro. He’s a native son come home who’s had a ridiculous string of success.

Y2K: The Yankees haven’t won the World Series since 2000 over the Mets, what has that been like coming on the heels of the enormous late-90s success?

Belth: You talk to some Yankee fans and they make like those six years is like the Indians not having won since ‘48. New York’s full of self-absorbed people, and that’s just one manifestation of it.

For me, one of the hardest losses I ever experienced, one where I felt physical pain, was when they lost to the Diamondbacks in ‘01.

But you know how I could nurse myself from the pain? It was by reminding myself that they had won three years in a row before that. Dude, that’s history. And then I thought, ‘How do Red Sox fans feel? I don’t have an inkling, man, not a clue.’ It made me feel blessed to be a Yankee fan.

When you’re a Yankee fan, it’s not as if you have to search selectively for great championship memories even if they lose one year in the World Series. That’s a privilege.

People like me and a lot of those fans who read Bronx Banter, we don’t want to abuse that privilege. To abuse that kind of power just makes for obnoxiousness. It’s rude, it’s easy and it’s not attractive at all. In the fake Yankee fans you see a lot of that; they latch on to something, the Yankees’ success, to make themselves feel better than someone else.

For me though, I was really too young to remember ‘77 and ‘78 too clearly, so it took until I was 25 years old to watch a winner. I appreciated the hell out of those great years in the late nineties and I still appreciate the winning team the Yanks put out each year even if they don’t end with a title.

Y2K: What do you think the Yankee teams of the past 6 years have been missing that those late '90s teams had?

Belth: Luck. Some of that is luck that they created. They had a collective personality in the late '90s that was extremely driven; there were a lot of red asses on that team – competitive, self-motivated guys, guys who were opportunistic grinders.

I remember some of those years, you’d think they were the best nickel and dime team ever assembled. They’d get you with two hits, two walks and an error. If a team made a mistake at any time late in the game, the Yankees would stick it to them.

I remember watching that great team in 1998 and thinking, this is fleeting, this won’t last forever, and sure enough it didn’t. It’s not supposed to, either. That’s what makes it so special.

That all said, it’s unfair to judge the Yankees of the past 6 years against those teams. Those were championship teams, and championship teams, even Yankee fans should remember, don’t come along all that often.

Y2K: Do you lend any credence to the idea that the Yankees are cursed? That their postseason failures are directly related to their boundless free agent splurging?

Belth: Oh no, only because they’ve done that forever. The whole rivalry with the Red Sox isn’t so much about the trade of Babe Ruth, it was because by 1923, when New York won its first title, half the roster consisted of former Red Sox; the Sox sold half their players to the Yankees.

The Yankees were created to be a symbol of New York, a true one. Over the years they’ve been compared to US Steel and Microsoft, they buy their way to power, they’re bullies, the big Republican machine, etc. – and that holds true. That’s not all they are, but the generalities remain true to a certain extent. I know a lot of liberal Democrats who root for the Yankees too.

The Yankees are also smart, they make a lot of money and they spend a lot of money. That’s not the worst thing that could be said about a team. Steinbrenner will go down as a historic force in baseball because, yes, he’s been a total embarrassment at times, and yet he’s helped the Yankees win six championships in 30 years.

Say what you want about him, but he’s cared to put a winning team on the field, even at the cost of being ugly about it. He’s a terribly ugly loser too. There was a point in the late eighties when I believed the Yanks would never win again until Steinbrenner moved on. As much credit as Torre gets, George deserves some too, no matter what you think of him personally.

When Steinbrenner goes, you’ve really got to wonder how they’re going to survive the transition. Some people say they’re already making the transition. They say Steinbrenner’s older, more hands off, Cashman’s more hands on – and that’s all true to an extent, but you never know what’ll happen when he goes.

Look at the Dodgers when the O’Malley’s sold the team, they lost their identity. The Yanks are the big, bad money-spenders, but over the last 30 years, we’ve have the cool, calm professional types that marked the organization too – Bernie Williams, Mariano Rivera, Willie Randolph, Ron Guidry.

Y2K: As a fan of the team, does it bother you that the Yankees spend almost $80 million more than their closest competitors, or do you think people make too big a deal about it?

Belth: No, it doesn’t bother me. You know what? You gotta learn to stop worrying and love the bomb if you root for the Yanks.

If you’re really gonna love the Yankees – and let me preface this by saying that I’m a left wing guy, and that I’ve had liberal guilt about it when I was younger – but that’s what the Yankees are, and they’re still my team. It’s not my money, and I’m happy if they spend it on the team.

The Yankees have outspent teams by an increasingly large ratio over the last six years, but they haven’t won any World Series titles. They put themselves in great position to contend for it every year, but it hasn’t bought them the rings.

And that’s what’s so disappointing about those fans who feel a sense of entitlement when it comes to winning. Winning it all. They simply assume that the Yankees could keep winning at the clip of the late 90s. But in doing that you’re disregarding the laws of baseball, you’re disregarding how winning three years in a row just doesn’t happen very often. If you dwell on what the recent teams haven’t done, you’re kind of missing out on what those championship teams were about.

The Yankee players in the 90s, and Torre, truly appreciated how hard baseball is to play and win, and because they so often expressed that, and because they had that respect for the game and how hard it was, it was so gratifying to see them win so much.

Even when they did finally lose, they went down with such valor, they defended their 3-years title to the end, and to get it wrested from them, the Diamondbacks had to beat Mariano in the 9th inning of the 7th game.

People feeling entitled to win every year don’t appreciate how special it was to get it when they had it. It’s a hard thing to reconcile. For me, I can appreciate that, hey, even in a year when the Yankees make the playoffs and lose, they’re still making me happy 90-100 times a year when they win.

I’m fine with Jeter saying a season is a failure if you don’t win the World Series, but as a fan, you’re doing yourself a disservice if that’s your attitude. The world is not so black and white. You’ve got to learn to live in the gray area.

Y2K: Like the Mets, the Yankees will be opening a new ballpark in 2009. Needless to say, Yankee Stadium has a certain historical cachet that Shea Stadium doesn’t possess. As a Yankee fan, how do you feel about the Stadium no longer being The House That Ruth Built?

Belth: It’s gonna be sad to see the old place go, but it’s a part of life, especially in New York. I can’t tell you how many stores and restaurants and buildings from my neighborhood have changed four or five times over. As a New Yorker you get used to the shock of a place that’s gone that was there your whole life.

And look, ugly and nasty politics aside, the Yankees aren’t moving to New Jersey – they’re still in the Bronx. I’m sure the new place will take a lot of getting used to, but I also don’t doubt it’ll be a lot like when you get a new haircut. It looks real funny at first then the next day you can’t remember what your old haircut looked like.

Some people will bemoan that it won’t be as great as the old place, but New Yorkers have so much character and energy, and we’re the ones that make a place great.

I expect that the new park will be a lot more synthetic, a lot more geared toward spending dollars. It’ll be crassly commercial, more tailored toward high rollers. But what else is new?

You know what? I’ll bet the seats will be real comfortable, even if there a lot fewer of them, and, sure, the the sightlines will all be different. But the Yankees will still play there, and they’ll still be wearing the pinstripes, and for me, that’ll be enough.

Y2K: Thank you for speaking with Yankees 2000.

- A.F.O.M.G. (afomgy2k@gmail.com)

(All pictures occur courtesy of mlb.com aside from the first two, which appear courtesy of alexbelth.com and thenrym.com, respectively, and the picture of Curt Flood, courtesy of nndb.com)

Y2K-U: Cousin Dan's Weekly Update

(Note: A.F.O.M.G. will be in with a piece later this afternoon.)

Let me be the next to add my congratulations for the new site to Cousin Sip, AFOMG, and the rest. Perhaps without having to say blogspot, Sip can take down that 9+ waitress at Brother Jimmy’s before he heads west. Or, at least take down the GMATs.

1. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

I’ll try to tackle the bowls in a week-by-week list here, and before Christmas, we have, well, not a lot. (Though, as they say, when Troy and Rice get together, you throw out the record books). But as someone who actually wagered on the Blue-Gray game once, let’s see how I can help make the week more fun.

I like San Jose State and the points (probably better than New Mexico, even though the game’s in Albuquerque) and South Florida laying the points (remember, their last game, they won in Morgantown). Best bet of Week 1: Hawaii to absolutely roll Arizona State.

2. Scarlet Knights go!

Resurrected a program? Check. And smart too? Check. Belated congratulations go out to Rutgers FB Brian Leonard, who won the Draddy Trophy a few weeks back.

The Draddy is the so-called Academic Heisman, which means that Leonard can stiff-arm you, steal your girl, and get a higher score than you on the GMATs. (Wow, two GMATs refs in one column!).

3. Congratulations, Boise!

You’re no longer the least desirable bowl destination on the planet! (Though, it must be said, reports are that Miami students can get free tickets to the MPC Computers Bowl if they’re willing to spend New Year’s Eve in Boise instead of, say, Miami).

That new honor is spending Dec. 23 (and then Christmas Eve) in the aforementioned New Mexico Bowl, where you will get to play a road game and then see some of that famed Albuquerque nightlife.

4. Sure sounds like a top-6 team for me.

Our beloved Blue Devils, who spent the week firmly entrenched in the top-10 while preventing actual Duke students from camping out for the UNC game are surprisingly low in the ESPN Power 16 (No. 10).

But don’t blame Dick Vitale, who obviously has his Dookies at No. 6, five spots ahead of Wichita State, a team that, oh by the way, has beaten somebody this year. (And played road games!). Jay Bilas, who actually played at Duke, correctly has the Devils out of his poll.

5. I think this column correctly saw this one coming.

Wisconsin absolutely blew the doors off overrated “No. 2” Pittsburgh on Saturday. This is a unique Wisconsin team, because the Badgers actually enjoy scoring this year.

Alando Tucker continued being the best player in the country, dropping 32 and 10. Center Brian Butch added 27 and 12 or so, and when he watches the ESPN feed, will sadly note that he was compared on a couple occasions to a player he’s vastly superior to, plodding Duke forward Josh McRoberts. I’ll let you guess who made those comparisons.

6. And the best team is Iowa is… Drake?

This column loves the little guy, and little guy Drake became the second little guy Iowa school (Northern Iowa being the other) to beat both Iowa and Iowa State this year. Good for Drake, who I honestly can tell you nothing else about. Bad for Iowa; and given that the locals already strongly dislike Steve Alford, that seat has to be getting moderately warm.

7. When considering the alternative, it’s not so bad.

When Virginia replaced serial nice guy Pete Gillen with serial angry guy Dave Leitao, we alumni were just happy to see somebody with some emotion on the sidelines. So when Leitao gets thrown out of a game against Hampton, I think Virginia fans actually cheered. Plus, the Cavs may have had some time outs left at the end of the contest.

8. The weekly dispatch from Kansas.

Since the Jayhawks didn’t play this week, let’s return across the state to Manhattan. Prized recruit Bill Walker made his debut today (15 points in a win over something called Kennesaw State), and let’s just say he was thrilled to be in the Little Apple.

From the preview: “Walker said he knew at age 15 that he would play for Huggins. He just didn’t know it would be at K-State, a place Walker admitted he had ‘never heard of’ until Huggins became coach.”

9. A non-college item, unless you consider that I saw Vick play at Tech.

It was a big party for Cousin Tonks and I at Brother Jimmy’s on Saturday night, watching our fantasy players T.O. and Michael Vick go off for six TDs. (Obviously, we had to give money to a bar, because no one in NYC has the NFL Network yet).

In any case, I later heard that T.O. spit in DeAngelo Hall’s face during the game. Putting to the side that the cocky Hokie probably deserved it, this will undoubtedly set off more teeth-gnashing from the Peter Kings of the world about what a bad guy T.O. is.

But here’s the thing. T.O. ain’t gonna change. As long as he can beat Hall on 51-yard TDs, he’s gonna still talk crap, wreck chemistry, and occasionally spit. I think it may just be time for the media to move on.

10. The Final Question.

If Greg Oden could be the starting center for a dozen NBA teams now, exactly how are Northwestern and Penn State going to guard him?

- Cousin Dan

(Note: The images in the article above appear courtesy of media.scout.com, wisconsin.scout.com and cbc.ca)

A Solid Week for the AL East

Pretty good week to root against the Yankees. These last couple of days have been HUGE for the AL East.

Late last night, the Blue Jays resigned Beltran North, Vernon Wells, to a 7YR, $126 mil contract. Heading into the offseason it did not appear that the Jays had a shot to sign Wells, next year's top free agent and likely the next recipient of a $20 mil/per year contract.

Fortunately for them, their wise GM J.P Ricciardi jumped the gun and locked up one of baseball's top 10 players for what should be the prime of his career. Well done, JP.

It has been a huge week for the Sox.

We all know about Daisuke Matsuzaka. If this guy lives up to the hype, he will be a very interesting player to watch in '07.

I'm not sure what would be better than watching Matsuzaka shut down the Yanks in the Bronx.

What I do know is that it will be a great thing for the game of baseball, on a global level, the first time Matsuzaka faces down with Hideki Matsui in Yankee stadium.

But later in the week, the Sox made two very nice little pickups.

They acquired Brendan Donnelly, a right handed setup man from the Angels for a minor leaguer and signed JC Romero, a left handed setup man, as well.

Donnelly, (6-0, 3.94 ERA in 2006) has been one of baseball's best setup men for the last five years.

Romero, coming off a weak '06 (1-2, 6.70 ERA), was maybe the premier lefty setup man in all of baseball in '04-'05 for the Twins. Things weren't always sunny in California, though.

And it is quite possible that Romero was a juicer, no coincidence that he had a down year during Year 1 of Steroidgate, the same year that saw his good friend and fellow Twins' penmate Juan Rincon hit the sidelines for 50 games.

Still, this guy is nasty against lefties (Damon, Giambi, Mastui) and could be an integral part of the Sox pen.

The Sox pen innings 6-8 looks pretty damn solid. Add these guys to young studs Craig Hansen and Manny Delcarmen and the vet Mike Timlin and the Sox may have the best middle relief in the game.

Still, no closer.

It kind of shocks me that there has been ZERO talk of closing with Papelbon again in '07. The rotation goes 5-deep without him (Schilling, Matsuzaka, Beckett, Lester, Wakefield). I don't know if another year in the pen could permanently fuck him up as a starter, but if not, it seems like a pretty good way to be rid of a pretty huge problem.

Even the D-Rays had a decent week.

They signed their Japaneese import Akinori Iwamura to a 3yr, $7.7 mil after posting $4.5 mil for him.

Like the Yankees, the Rays won the posting for a shitty Japanese player.

Unlike the Yankees, they are going to pay him $12 mil over 4 YRS, while the Yanks will pay Kei Igawa about $10/mil per over 5 years, or so it could shake out.

As for the NFL, no picks this week. I have week 1 of my fantasy playoffs this weekend and when compounded with this must win for the men in blue, there is no room for gambling. A hardy Y2K thank you to Frank Gore for his solid performance on Thursday.

I am oozing at the thought of Bruce Gradkowski going to Solider Field and taking on my beloved New Bears D'.

Boerigter for Prez '08.

VCD,

Sip

(Pics courtesy of Allposters.com, bestsportsphotos.com, R-am.Co)

Mike Mussina Doesn't Care About Young People

(Note: A piece from Cheddar Ben follows this one from A.F.O.M.G.)

You know his cold gaze.

You know the maniacal eyes that suggest he'd as soon stick you with a shiv as throw you a devastating hook down 3-1 in the count.

But you never put it together, did you? "Mussina?" you'd tell yourself, "that kindly woodsman from Montoursville, PA (population 4,645)? Why, he'd never hurt a fly."

Until a day or two ago, this kind of naivety was perfectly understandable. Little did you realize that Mussina was hell bent on an entire generation of Little Leaguers being sacrificed to the bigger, faster, more-more-more impulses of maniacs like himself.

At least, that's the message of George Vecsey's expose on the Moose in Thursday's New York Times.

It seems Mussina has become the poster boy for the Big Republican Machine that is the Little League Baseball association, which has doggedly pronounced itself in favor of aluminum bats for youth leagues around the country, as opposed to their unquestionably less lethal wooden counterparts.

For his part, Vecsey's not taking it sitting down. In the midst of a largely anecdotal (which the author himself acknowledges) piece about the dangers of aluminum bats, Vecsey notes that "a ball coming off an aluminum bat registered at 94.86 miles an hour while a ball coming off a wooden bat registered 86.31."

Does that mean anything to Mussina though? Does he care? No! All he cares about is the almighty dollar:

"As a baseball player who has competed at the Little League, high school, college, minor league and major league levels -- and someone who has been in the vulnerable pitcher's position and seriously injured at the MLB level," Mussina wrote in an e-mail, "I can unequivocally state that non-wood bats are no more dangerous than their wooden counterparts."

Fine, maybe that quote doesn't illustrate the point I'm making here. Luckily we've got New York City lawmaker/diehard Mets fan James Oddo (R-Mid-Island/Brooklyn) here to cut through the spin.

"I think Mike Mussina did that storied franchise [the Yankees] a disservice by being used by a bat manufacturer to protect their monetary interests," Oddo said, eloquently. "To use his celebrity to try to derail a bill that I think is absolutely intended to protect kids is disgraceful."

I mean, where does this Mussina guy get off anyway? Too much is never enough for some of these people. You've really gotta wonder how many multi-million dollar contracts to you need to sign before you quit chasing every last dime.

All I can say is, whew, I'm glad I got out of Little League alive. I'm glad I didn't have to grow up in a world where my very survival was threatened by ballplayers like Mussina. I'm glad my biggest fear in those halcyon days was that I might find myself on the wrong end of a Bret Saberhagen bleach squirting episode, or of a projectile firecracker launched by Vince Coleman.

It was a more innocent time. I'm glad to be alive to tell the tale. I just hope, for their sake, that today's young people avoid the Sword of Damocles that Mike Mussina is ever so recklessly dangling just above their heads, and that some day they might regale me with the stories from their playing days, when death lurked around every corner, and one ballplayer just didn't give a damn.

- A.F.O.M.G.

(The images above appear courtesy of mlb.com and sportsecyclopedia.com)

Credit Where Due

(Note: A.F.O.M.G. will be in with a post later this afternoon.)

First off, I'm suddenly and unmistakably proud of young Sip. More on that soon.

But elsewise, I'm a little offended by some people's inability to take a joke.

World Series MVP David Eckstein, for example. The Cards' pint-sized hero was in the TNA Wrestling ring last Sunday when White Sox catcher and all-around misanthrope A.J. Pierzynski picked a copy of Eckstein's new children's book and tore it to shreds.

Funny, no? Well, Eckstein started a brawl over it. I mean, come on.

Even more disspiriting was the reaction of one Michael Crowley, a senior editor at the New Republic, who got all offended this week at uber-author Michael Crichton.

Here's the background -- Crichton wrote a best-selling book in 2004, "State of Fear," which essentially said global warming was a conspiracy dreamed up by sinister liberal interests. (AFOMG is nodding his head vigorously right now). Naturally, writing this novel made him qualified to advise the White House on policy matters, and the administration brought him in.

Crowley, who covers Washington for the magazine, wrote a big article about this exchange last year; the subject apparently didn't think much of it.

I say apparently, because all anybody knows about it is that Crichton's new book, "Next," features a character named "Mick Crowley," who ... well, there's something going on here.

Alex Burnet was in the middle of the most difficult trial of her career, a rape case involving the sexual assault of a two-year-old boy in Malibu. The defendant, thirty-year-old Mick Crowley, was a Washington-based political columnist who was visiting his sister-in-law when he experienced an overwhelming urge to have anal sex with her young son, still in diapers. Crowley was a wealthy, spoiled Yale graduate and heir to a pharmaceutical fortune. ...

The real Crowley, needless to say, certainly went to Yale. But there's more.

It turned out Crowley's taste in love objects was well known in Washington, but [his lawyer]--as was his custom--tried the case vigorously in the press months before the trial, repeatedly characterizing Alex and the child's mother as "fantasizing feminist fundamentalists" who had made up the whole thing from "their sick, twisted imaginations." This, despite a well-documented hospital examination of the child. (Crowley's penis was small, but he had still caused significant tears to the toddler's rectum.)

Now, how does the oh-so-sensitive real Crowley react to being called a baby-raper? Typically, he got somewhat angry. No self-control among these people, I tells ya. Where's the discipline?

In all seriousness, I still can't believe this happened. This got picked up in the Times and elsewhere, but none of these articles had any reponse from Crichton, nor is there any on his Web site.

Plausible defenses include:

• "It wasn't just the boy. Crowley was getting into sick shit with dangerous Japanese business interests."
• "Aliens promised to make me rich and powerful if I defamed him."
• "You don't understand. Crowley was the one who sexually harassed me!"
• "He doesn't know what he's done! That boy's rectum was a quantum foam wormhole."

And so forth. If he can come up with something better, I'm all ears. Wouldn't count on it, though.

Which brings me back to young Sip, the angriest of all the Y2K team members. This kid's capacity to hate cannot be measured by modern instrumentation.

We all have quite a bit of anti-Yankee sentiment stored up, we do. We absolutely feel certain members of the Bombers, A-Rod and Jeter most notably, have taken pains to personally offend us with their words and behavior. We have all felt slapped in the face by the team and its media enablers. Betrayed.

None more than Sip. But the kid's a fighter, and I'll tell you why. For all the openings he's had to declare one of his beisbol enemies a genuine, Y2K-certified baby rapist, he hasn't done it.

He hasn't made wild and possibly actionable claims about Steve Serby's sexual habits. He hasn't slyly slipped a "Posada molests toddlers" into one of his rants. He doesn't feel free to make up anything he likes about "Joe Torry."

Not once. Not that I'm aware of, at least. And I salute him.

You might be saying to yourself, does this site really deserve credit for not accusing its enemies of sodomizing infants? Aren't you setting the bar a little bit low? They are, of course, fair questions.

Information on how to answer them can be found here.

[Note: Images used in this post were taken from Google Images and Wikipedia.]

And The Rest Unfolds

(Note: Steamin' Mikey Lehman breaks down the top 10 shit-talkers in Mets history after this piece from Sip.)

The Daisuke Matsuzaka saga came to a close hours before Thursday's deadline, with the terrifyingly Type O Matsuzaka agreeing to a 6-year, $52 million contract with the Red Sox.

A month ago it didn't look like getting this guy signed was rocket science. We talked about how the how the Red Sox would give this guy 5-6 years at $8-9 million per year so that the total contract equalled something around 5-6 years- $90-110 Mil.

We were close, 6 years and $103 mil was what it ended up being.

Everyone knew this would happen one month ago. Matsuzaka didn't want to go back to Japan. He wanted to come to America and play in the major leagues.

He was set to make around $3,000,000 next year in Japan, pocket change compared to what he could expect in America. His team wanted him gone. The Seibu Corp. wanted $50 million for one guy, understandable when you consider that their entire organization is worth around $150 mil.

So Boston won the "posting" war -- I still hate the word posting -- so it only made sense that they would sign him for what seemed right. SEE ABOVE.

Yet for some reason, over the last couple of weeks, everyone began to freak out. There was the threat that Matsuzaka might reject the Sox' offer and go back to Japan.

So Matsuzaka is dreaming to play in the States. He is ready to leave Japan and move on to better competition. He is about to sign a contract that will guarantee him 20 times what he is guaranteed him now. YET, HE IS THREATENING TO GO BACK TO JAPAN!!!

For all we heard about his threat to go back to Japan, we never once heard it from the horse's mouth. Hell, I don't even know if he had a translator during the negotiations.

The one person threatening to send him back to Japan was the only person in the entire world that would benefit from that threat, his agent, Scott Boras.

Boras is not a dummy. He is the biggest and brightest agent in the game. He did what any negotiator would do in a negotiation. He used his leverage.

Only this was not your normal negotiation. Boras could not play teams against one another. The only single piece of leverage he had was the "threat," no matter how empty, of Matsuzaka returning to Japan.

He took this one down to the wire and got an extra 4-5 mil from the Sox, money that I am sure they were willing to spend anyway.

But Boras did what he could in the Matsuzaka negotiation. He got his client the most money possible, he proved that he could make deals between Japaneese stars and American teams, and he set a precedent for future negotiations.

With each deal Boras signs for his clients, he gets a little smarter and a little more powerful. He learns more about each team and their tendencies and teams fear him more for his ability to always suck out the most from them.

Which takes us to the topic that we are all concerned with: Barry Zito.

I am all but willing to guarantee that the first phone call Scott Boras makes after the press conference in Boston on Thursday is a call to Barry Zito:

Boras: So Barry, you ready to get this thing done?"
Zito: Whatever, bro.

Boras: What's it going to be, Texas or NY?
Zito: Either way, I'll ranch or sing.

Thank you Frank Cushman Jr.

Like with the Matsuzaka negotiation, the Zito negotiation makes some sense. Assuming that he is choosing between the Mets and Rangers, it makes a lot of sense.

Everything Zito could possibly prefer would be in New York. New York has the Big Apple, a division championship, a pitcher's park (Texas ranked as the 5th best hitters park last year, Shea 26th) his old pitching coach and mentor Rick Peterson, tons of musicians and even more sideline reporters ready to go sloppy on him after a start.

The one and only thing Texas can offer Zito is more years and more money. Read: Carlos Beltran, Mets, 2005.

Zito prefers New York, Boras prefers New York, but at the end of the day they may prefer the green of Texas. Boras is doing everything he can to sell the Mets, their fans and the media that covers them on the idea that Barry Zito will go to Texas if the Mets fail to give him the right amount of dollars and years.

Sound familiar?

Zito would be a Ranger now if, in his heart of hearts, he wanted to be there. They have already offered him the money.

But it is very obvious that this is not the case. Zito's heart is in California, and his brains are in New York.

I really believe that the savvy Omar Minaya is simply calling Boras' bluff. He will come in at the last second and up his offer, but only to the point where the Mets want to go. We will not break the bank for this guy and we don't have to. In a way, he has to be a Met.

Otherwise, there is Plan G.

Two intriguing arms went non-tendered on Tuesday.

Non-tendering essentially means that their former team does not want them. By offering a deal, even one that the player doesn't accept, the team can then go to arbitration with said player protecting their ability to retain him from years 4-6 (the arbitration years).

The two names that interest me, Joel Pineiro and Mike Wood.

Joel Pineiro.

Three years ago this kid looked like an ace in the making. He was always my fantasy sleeper and he had a couple of nice years. Going in to 2006, if you were to give me the option of Joel Pineiro or Gil Meche, I would have chosen the former.

But then Pineiro went and had a pretty crappy season: 8-13, 6.31 ERA.

But the ERA number was up a run after Pineiro went to the pen, but his numbers as a starter weren't bad.

Through July he went 5 innings in 17 of 21 starts and 6 innings in 13 of 21.

Here's a guy that has averaged 180 IP/season since 2002 and has a lifetime ERA of 4.48 in the American League.

While he has had two rough goes of it in '05 and '06 I think there is still a lot of promise left in this 28 year old. In this ever-so-inflated market where Gil Meche and Ted Lilly are making as much to pitch as my hero Keanu Reeves gets to act in a movie, I can't see why giving Pineiro a 1-year offer with a mutual option isn't a sound move.

Mike Wood.

You may remember the name but not know why. Wood was actually the key component in the deal that sent Carlos Beltran to the Astros in 2004. Along with strikeout machine John Buck (a catcher, not a pitcher) Wood was supposed to save the Royals' rotation. As you may have noticed, this never happened.

But this kid is still 26. Why not give him a shot?

In both cases the pitcher is young and would be going from the AL to the NL, which is always a plus.

The other thing to remember is that we are not exactly dealing with a lot here. After El Duque in the 2 spot, there are no real guarantees at all with this rotation. Why not bring in as many arms as possible to compete, as long as they come cheap. Imagine if we find even another Darren Oliver (RIP) in the bunch. That wouldn't be too bad.

And remember, the above was said after I mentioned Orlando Hernandez as a guarantee at # 2, which unfortunately, my friends, is a whole 'nother story.

That's all for now.

Vaya con dios,

Sip

(From top to bottom, respectively, the first, third, and final three images that appear above are courtesy of mlb.com, the second image is courtesy of isportusa.com, and the fourth image is courtesy of tripod.com)

The Mets' All-Time Shit-Talking Team

(Note: Sip will be in with a post later this afternoon. Also, please note that you may now access our home page by clicking the middle of the banner at the top of the page.)

Hello all. Steamin' Mikey Lehman here.

I’m pretty excited to be making my debut here at Y2K. As president of marketing operations with the company, I decided it was time for me to roll the sleeves up and get to writing.

While I love talking hot-stove, I thought this list might be a nice way to help you get through your Thursday morning. It’s the Mets’ all time shit-talking team, and I hope you enjoy:

Left Field: Rickey Henderson

The high-stepping homerun trot. The crouch. The snatch-catch. The third person dialogue. Nobody was better at irritating opposing players than Rick.

Remember him sliding into home (on a homerun) when setting the record for career runs scored? How about completely disregarding Lou Brock when setting the record for stolen bases?

Even his pre-game ritual involved standing naked in front of the mirror chanting ‘Rickey’s the best!’ His final game as a Met, when he led off trotting to first on a ball hit off the wall, he told reporters after the game: ‘Rickey would do it again.’

The guy meshed cocky and class in a way I never thought possible. Hats off, Rickey Time.

Right Field: Derek Bell

So what if the guy hit .115 after the break in 2000, Manny got his whole schtick from D-Bell. The guy invented the baggy pants look. Not to mention he couldn’t get through a sentence without saying ‘yo’ fourteen times. Only one year. What a shame.

Center Field: Jay Payton

Tough call here, but I gotta give it to Jay for that time he charged the mound against Mike Timlin in the 2000 playoffs. The Mets are up, it’s the bottom of the eighth, the Mets are cruising in the final game of the NLCS, and Jay can’t help but charge on a pitch that was clearly an accident. Mad respect.

Third Base: Robin Ventura

Speaking of charging the mound, nothing could possibility be more humiliating than the Robin vs. Nolan square off in 1993. The fact that Robin has never said a mean word about anyone in his life might discount him from the list, but Sip loves the guy and I’m trying to stay in good standing with the execs here at Y2K.

First Base: Keith Hernandez (apologies Molicious)

To be fair, I’m a little young to really remember Keith from his playing days, but listening to this guy sound off in the booth makes me think he must have gotten under a lot of peoples’ skin.

Even when not preaching women’s rights, Gary Cohen constantly has to correct him. It’s entertaining, but really, Keith, nobody’s interested in what you hit in June, 1987.

Second Base: Joe McEwing

What a lot of people don’t know about Joey Mac is that during his stint in NY, kid was a staple of the uptown prep-school gangster scene. No need for specifics, but while the uniform was always dirty at Shea, kid was clean on the streets.

Shortstop: Jose Reyes

The Mets have had a history of soft-spoken shortstops until Jose put himself on the scene. Too bad we have no idea what this guy is saying because he never shuts up. All that chirping, hopping around, and dancing sure means the kid’s loving life, but he’s certainly pissing a lot of people (not wearing the blue and orange) off. Look for our boy to catch one in the dome-piece this year.

Catcher: Todd Hundley

Is it me, or did this guy always look like he was just coming off a 72 hour, Jack Daniels-laced bender in the AC? Five o’clock shadow, blood shot eyes, always cranky – can anybody remember one time when this guy smiled? Nobody messed with grumpy. How easily we forget…

SP: Pedro Martinez

While his best years were certainly with Boston, Pedro’s legacy as a shit talker is well documented. I had no choice but to put him on this list.

LHP: Dennis Cook

What a scary dude. Nobody has heard from Dennis since he left baseball to rejoin the Klan in 2002, but he had to be the most intimidating 5’6 athlete of all time. Always jawing at everybody, D actually showed up with a pitchfork in Steve Phillips’ office upon the news that he’d been traded to Philadelphia.

RHP: Turk Wendell

He didn’t seem to talk a lot, but Turk definitely pushed some buttons while on the mound. More baller than the bear tooth necklace was his freak-out session behind the hill before every at-bat. Dude was high-strung, and batters must’ve hated it.

That’s all for now, guys. Enjoy the weekend.

- Steamin’ Mikey Lehman

(Note: All pictures in the article above appear courtesy of MLB.com)

The Five Mets Most Likely to Get the Victor Zambrano Treatment in 2007

(Note: The latest entry in our Section 423 column on the Knicks appears immediately below this piece by A.F.O.M.G.)

Know who I'll bet was really happy to hear the Mets didn't tender Victor Zambrano a contract? Gary Cohen.

I'll bet he wasn't the only one, either. Me, I'm relieved to hear he won't be coming back. There's really only so much negative karma I can stand, and when you get right down to it, that's all Zambrano ever contributed.

Zambrano went 10-14 in 39 appearances as a Met with a 4.42 ERA. He got injured shortly after the trade that sent Scott Kazmir to the Tampa Bay Scott Kazmirs, and then injured again shortly into the 2006 campaign.

In between, he walked an inordinate amount of batters, grimaced at every possible occassion, and was booed by Mets fans for being so resoundingly bad and unlikeable.

Mets fans have had to endure a number of bad and/or unlikeable players over the years. Heading into 2006, there were four such players on the Mets: Jorge Julio, Kaz Matsui, Steve Trachsel, and Victor Zambrano.

Julio was gone by May, Matsui a few weeks later in early June. Trachsel played out the string on his contract, providing him with the opportunity to kick our playoff chances in the balls before he went.

And now, at long last, Zambrano is gone too. I hope they don't even make an offer. I know I speculated yesterday that from the baseball-as-business vantage point, bringing back Zambrano at $2.4 million made sense.

But I also said "The fan in me wants him gone," and that's the line I'm sticking to today.

It was just too much fun last year not having a guy like that on the entire roster. Sure, Trachsel was there, but he was always different than Kaz, Victor and Julio as well. Trachsel at least experienced success at some point in his Mets career.

Is there any way we can replicate our 2006 utopia? It's possible, but I've been a Mets fan long enough to know that that kind of harmonious dichotomy between the fans and the team is pretty effing rare.

Looking over the 40-man roster, here are the five most likely candidates to inherit the relentless booing mantle left vacant by the loss of Zambrano:

1. Jose Valentin.

Fair is fair, Valentin did a nice job for us in 2006. You know what it is with him though? I think the fans have a keen sense that we were living on borrowed time when it came to Valentin's success last year.

The fans are savvy enough to remember his tepid early- and late-season production, and I think a lot of people were surprised that we forked over a solid chunk of change to re-sign him.

Most Mets fans, I think, wanted us to sign someone else -- not Julio Lugo necessarily, but a younger short-term option than Valentin -- to man second base in 2007. Instead, Valentin is back for another go-round. If he struggles early, look for things to get ugly with the Shea faithful.

2. Damion Easley.

I'm not sure anyone knows why we signed this guy. When we think of super-subs we think of spritely young guys like Joe McEwing, or at least Chris Woodward.

In 2007 we'll have the 37-year-old, not-demonstrably-very-good Easley. Omar's proven adept at finding diamonds in the rough, but Easley, I just don't know.

3. Shawn Green.

It sure seemed like a good idea at the time, didn't it? I know I supported the trade that brought Green -- who, in case you weren't aware, is Jewish -- to New York, and there's still a part of me that thinks it was the right move.

I mean, what would our outfield have looked like in the postseason with Cliff Floyd injured? Endy Chavez in left or right, sure, then what? Lastings Milledge? He who looked like a deer in headlights in front of the Green Monster? The kid's got a high ceiling, but he wasn't ready for the big stage in 2006.

All that said, Green just wasn't that good for us. He's a fading former star, part of a breed Mets fans don't take kindly to (i.e. Mo Vaughn, Robbie Alomar). Will Green's tenure in New York be marred by the same catcalls and boos that haunted Big Mo and Alomar? We shall see.

4. Carlos Beltran.

It's so unfair, but tell me you disagree. Tell me you don't think Mets fans wouldn't turn on this guy at the first sign of a slump and give him the 2005 treatment.

Life ain't fair, kids. I know I won't boo him, but somehow I suspect that Beltran is hanging on by a very thin thread.

5. Julio Franco.

The good news for Julio is that, in his age 49 season, he can count on being cheered by the fans at every opposing stadium. Really, it's impossible to not admire his longevity.

But let's be honest here, Franco made like he created the GIDP-bomb in 2006. I have no question but that he's worth his weight in gold in terms of clubhouse chemistry, and there's a part of me that wishes that wise sages could be treated with due respect, always.

But hey, this is New York. Franco's only gonna get credit for convincing Beltran to take that curtain call for so long, and there's an argument to be made that that's been the highlight of his Mets career.

If Franco's bat continues to slow in 2007, well, there's always 81 road games to look forward to.

* * * * *

And that about does it. That list sound about right? Anyone up there that doesn't belong? I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

- A.F.O.M.G.

(All pictures in the article above appear courtesy of MLB.com.)

Section 423: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

(Note: A.F.O.M.G. will be in with a post later this afternoon.)

It's possible that by living in Los Angeles I've become a bit jaded when it comes to entertainers, but I have been to the "World's Most Depressing Arena" the last three Saturday nights in a row, and the only celebrities at all three games combined were Brooke Shields and Bobbito Garcia aka DJ Cucumber Slice.

Not for nothing, Slice deserves some credit for doing his thing in a big way on the MSG halftime show interviewing the D-, E-, and W-list celebrities who have filtered into the Garden while the big dogs wait for them to be decent again before jockeying for a coveted 'Black' seat.

(Speaking of which, why does MSG have the worst seat colors in the league? Black, purple, and teal? It's a joke.)

Not having the big names in the house on a nightly basis sets the tone for the atmosphere in the building. The Knicks need the home crowd. Too many out of town superstars and scrubs are putting up big numbers against Balkman and co.

We're talking HUGE stats. Arenas and Twan Jamison combining for 71 in one game. Luol Deng, Nacioni, and Malik Allen combined for 58 points and 17 boards para Los Torros de Chicago. Paul Pierce 70 points in 2 Knick losses.

The Knicks would be in first place in the Atlantic with a decent cushion if they could just be respectable at home. They are a mess in the Garden.

Remember what it was like less than a full decade ago? When I was a shorty and would come to MSG for a Knicks game, it felt like a show. It felt like an event. I felt proud to have a ticket.

It wasn't the building itself that had the magic, it was the people. Indeed, when I used to go to MSG for a WWF Wrestling event, or the circus, or even for a Saturday afternoon of high school hoop, it felt like a dump. Rundown. Shitty food courts, and a security staff of disgruntled old Irish fucks.

Now it feels like that at every Knicks game. There is no special feeling one gets from visiting The World's Most Depressing Arena. In fact, a strong sentiment of disgust and shame washes over you as you make your way up to your overpriced seats, which are overpriced no matter which section you are in.

No more T-shirt or wash loth/towel giveaways, only insufferable 'thundersticks', that do nothing to distract opponents shooting free throws down the stretch (just ask TJ Ford).

But let's get back to the lack of celeb attendance. Mets fans roll their eyes when they see some big wig celeb filling the seats to watch Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran and the rest of the gang. But at MSG it's different. The celebrities set the tone, they make a game a hot ticket, and a place you want to be.

It's a shame they only turn out in times of victory, and not those of pain and suffering. From Matthew Modine and Paulie from 'Rocky', to Fat Joe and that dude who is married on 'The Sopranos' to Tony's sister Janice... where have they gone?!

I beg of you Knicks fans, famous or otherwise, NOW is the time to come out to the Garden, and not only just attend a game every once and a while, but be enthusiastic and supportive when you are there.

Eddy Curry knows he can't make a free throw, so why scream at him every time he is on the stripe? Yes, Crawford is a complete nut case, the definition of a 'Safe Haven' player, but will booing him make him take less shots? Of course not.

Moving on to front office topics, it is time to make a deal. Channing Frye and Jared 'Brace Face' Jeffries will not be abel to co-exist. One of them has to go, and I say Frye. Package him with Crawford or Francis and let's get a Zack Randolph or a Joe Johnson or even make a run at a KG or Jermaine O'Neal. Something. Anything.

Jerome James should be 'stoned' to death in Times Square like that short story from back in the day called 'The Lottery'. It will be the only lottery the team sees for a while.

Also, again, shout out to David Lee and his efforts on the glass. Dude grabs boards. Best white rebounder since Mark Eaton. If he has over 8 a game for the year, my homeboy A Mason will take me out on a man date to the best restaurant in this crazy ass town.

Predictions for the next 3 games:

WIN vs Atlanta @ MSG
WIN vs Pacers @ Indy
LOSS vs Nuggets @ MSG and Carmelo drops over 35

- Chris Childs

(Note: The pictures displayed in this article appear courtesy of NBA.com, Hoopsvibe.com, and MLB.com, respectively, from top to bottom.)

The Victor Zambrano Decision

(Note: Pieces by Sip and Cheddar Ben follow this one by A.F.O.M.G.)

The date was April 19, 2006. The night before, the Mets had been unceremoniously destroyed by the Braves. Final score 7-1. It was only our third loss in 13 games.

The following morning I woke up pissed. My ire, like everyone else's in Metsville, was directed toward the man who started the previous night's exercise in humiliation, Victor Zambrano.

"I'm sick of Victor Zambrano," I wrote at the time. "I'm sick of his grimace. I'm sick of his sad-sack, loser's demeanor. I'm sick of feeling that it would take a miracle for the Mets to win a game with him on the hill."

Eighteen days later I had softened somewhat. The news that Zambrano had been lost for the season was fresh, for me, when I opened the morning newspapers. After processing it all, I wrote the following:

"I feel as though I should be elated. I mean, I really, really dislike Zambrano. But there are competing emotions here.

The truth is, I feel bad for the guy. My heart goes out to him when I hear that he was crying in the clubhouse because he's not going to be there to take the ball every fifth day.

My heart goes out to him (if only for a brief moment) when I put myself in his shoes and consider the unfair burden of expectation that accompanies his every moment in a Mets uniform."

Zoom forward to the present and the Mets are faced with decision time on Tricky Vic. The Mets have until midnight tonight to tender Zambrano a contract, or risk losing him via free agency. Should the Mets tender a contract, it would be for a minimum of $2.4 million.

Just as I was on that day in early May, I'm conflicted.

In an offseason when Andy Pettitte commands $16/22.4 million to be a third starter, or Gil Meche is given 5 years and $55 million, is it really such a bad investment to re-up with a guy with back-of-the-rotation potential at a measly $2.4 million?

Economically speaking, resigning Zambrano is the right move. As we saw in 2006, you can never have enough options when it comes to starting pitching. Zambrano's bad, but he's not Jose Lima bad, so in at least one respect he would represent an upgrade.

But we also learned something else in 2006, beyond the need for a surplus of starting pitching. We learned what a pleasure it is to have a universally likeable team.

We've all got our favorites and least favorites, but after Kaz Matsui was traded for a bag of balls (sorry, Eli), the Mets were truly lightning rod-free for the first time in recent memory.

Every era has players the fans despise, guys who are sometimes called people we love to hate. That's a misnomer, in my experience at least. I have never once relished hating a member of the Mets, I've always just wished they would go away.

Who am I talking about here? I'm talking about the Bobby Bonillas, the Armando Benitezes (after a point anyway), the Roger Cedenos, the Robbie Alomars, the Kaz Matsuis...

And yes, the Victor Zambranos.

Short of rescuing John Rocker from his charity work (incidentally, I'm sure those "Speak English" t-shirts would go over HUGE in the Mets' clubhouse), Zambrano is as despised a player as the Mets could possibly field in 2006.

Do we really want that element on our team in 2007? Do we really want a guy whose very name will demand a loud and lusty boo from the home crowd?

Do we even need him? Does he really come in higher on the depth chart than John Maine, Dave Williams, Oliver Perez, Mike Pelfrey, or Phil Humber?

He's said he's willing to pitch out of the bullpen; can you imagine how queasy it would be watching a wild arm like that come out of the bullpen? If he started the first batter of an inning 2-0 the crowd would be on him like white on the new Y2K background.

That all said, from a baseball perspective it probably does make sense to tender Zambrano a contract. He's not higher than Pelfrey or Humber on the depth chart, but we should do everything we can to avoid being in a position where we simply have to rush one of them up.

But it'll be an interesting decision. Is it more desirable to have a stable of arms or to have a team that won't be subjected to the crowd's ire? Booing like that can be cancerous. It can bring an entire team down with it, at least once every fifth day.

Me? The fan in me wants him gone, but the baseball observer knows he should stay.

Salt.

- A.F.O.M.G.

(All pictures in the article above appear courtesy of MLB.com)

10 Reasons Why the New Y2K Is Your Y2K

(Note: A piece by Cheddar Ben featuring the well-wishes we've received on the new site follows this one from Sip. Also, be sure to check in later this afternoon for a piece from A.F.O.M.G. Lastly, be aware that this post features a vaguely NSFW shot of Li-Lo in a bikini. Nice.)

I woke up this morning and saw 47 new messages on my cell phone. Page 6, Sports Illustrated, OK Magazine, The Source, Bazaar!, Tigerbeat, Ebony, Club, Club International, Mr. Glass.

Everyone wanted a piece of the Sip.

Apparently being named one of People Magazine's 50 Sexiest Bloggers doesn't do it for the public like giving birth to a new sleek website.

We've come a long way since October 12, 2005, when instead of not working and staring at my computer screen, I decided to write a little piece about why the Yankees are cursed. That day I begged 51 of my friends to read what I wrote. Today, I can't stop the millions of friends, acquaintances, and total strangersfrom keeping off the page.

So Yankees2000.com has arrived. I'm really proud of this first step towards actual credibility and look forward to many more to come.

A big thanks to AFOMG. You guys have no idea how smart this kid is. What I send to him arrives at a 7th grade level, but by the time he's done with it we're talking 10th grade at least. My man.

Cheddar Ben. Sometimes you gotta stop living up here, and start living down there.

Lou, Chris and Mase, Cousin Dan, Steamin' Mikey Lehman, New Jawn, Cousin Tonks, Happy Will and all other guest writers past and present, we love you and would love to have you back.

A big thanks to Oren for building this website. I do computers like I treat 7-Up. I never have I never will.

And finally, to all the readers. We write to establish a community. A community that has grown tremendously in the first 14 months of Y2K and one that we hope will continue to grow over the next 14 years. We love what we write about and the people that share our passion. So stay awesome.

And now, 10 Reasons why the New Y2K is better than the old Y2K...

10. We ditched the 'Blogspot'.

I have my pride. I have a decent sized ego. Let's just say that a "blog" isn't the coolest sounding thing in the world. I wasn't picking up tail at Stereo with Stevey Franchise, Bill Bellamy and co. by talking to people about my "blog."

Today, we are a just a website that talks about sports. I feel better about myself.

9. The embrace of New.

The Mets are New.

The Knicks, certainly, are New.

But the Yankees are old. Same shit different year with those assholes from the Bronx.

For a website that embraces everything new from Moises Alou to the MTV Smash, Yo Mama, we needed to keep up with the Jones'.

Next Year is Now at Y2K. I am very proud to write for the "New" Y2K.

8. My hatred has never been stronger.

As many of you know, my life is nearing rock bottom. The bank account is approaching single digits. I am still living with my parents (27 Days and counting). I still have no job and the best part of my day is right after I drink a cup of coffee, thereby assuring that I will have some extended alone time on the can.

I have a little anger and a lot of agression.

But I have also embraced my inner Sip. I wish good things for most and try to enter that Zen-like place that only Coldplay can provide me with.

But still, I do hate. I hate the Yankees. As our writing staff of Mets afficionados grows, I plan on channeling a lot of energy towards "the intense Yankee bashing" that this site was founded on.

I love the Mets. But it is really enjoyable to channel hate through writing, so expect more goodies in the near future.

7. Celebrity interviews.

Thanks to Section 423 writer Chris Childs, as well AFOMG's first succesful interview with The Strokes' Julian Casablancas, Y2K looks forward to a series of future interviews with the people that we obsess over.

While some will be real (read: AFOMG's) and many others fake (mine), there will be more. And more is good.

6. We ditched the Blogspot Part II: The Remix.

Did I mention how much I hated blogspot?

Me: I write this sports column, you should check it out, Yankees2000.blogspot.com

Other person: Yankees2000-dot-what-the-fuck?...FUCK OFF LOSER!

No more of that.

5. Adding more talent.

Over the last month or so we have added on a bunch of new writers. Chris and Mase bringing you Section 423 every Wednesday. The sweet musings of Lou Monte every Monday morning. Cousin Dan hitting you up College Nice.

In the next couple of weeks, we will be unrolling a series of new writers. New Jawn, the weirdest cat I know, will bring something to the table that is illegal in 42 states.

Steamin' Mikey Lehman, a UWS legend in his own right, will bring lisp-filled banter back to new peaks. And we are also in the process of renegotiations with Cousin Tonks, Happy Will and Cheddar Ted.

In addition, if you want to write and you got something fresh to say, let us know. I can be reached at sippymomo@gmail.com, and you can find the big guy at afomgy2k@gmail.com. That means you Coop!

4. Lindsay Lohan's endorsement.

Lindsay Lohan, who was spotted canoodling with a gritty Sip at the Y2K launch party, Monday morning at H&H Bagels, has ditched the booze, her party girl friend Paris Hilton, and good movies for Yankees2000.com.

"It helps bring me inner peace and it even made my breasts larger! I love Sip and Y2K!"

That's not the first time I've heard that.

3. Y2K: The Battle.

Over the next month or so we will be unveiling a new column at Y2K, The Battle.

In the battle we will challenge any Yankee fan, be it a writer, one of those LOSER bloggers, a friend (though I have few) or just some more off the street.

We or they will pick a topic and argue it.

You will see week-in and week-out that either AFOMG or I will absolutely destroy the Yankee connoisseur.

It's the simple principle of us being right and them being wrong, but it will be fun and also a nice little exercise in restraint.

2. Getting Sip out of the poor house.

The birth of advertising and merchandising. As I have stated above and many times before, I ain't doing so hot financially.

But those days, my friends, are coming to an end.

Over the coming months we will milk local and national companies out of their hard earned cash by charging sky-high rates for them to advertise on our little website. I will become the Bill Gates of internet sports columnists.

I'm joking, advertisers, but hopefully we can make a little money that way.

Also, we will start selling clever t-shirts and other stuff to unite us in our love and hate and net me retail prices at wholesale costs, a dream of any fledgling entrepeneur.

More so, though, we will give away some cool shit, host some parties, Y2K Days at Shea, Y2K days at Blondies, etc., etc., etc.

Win together, lose together, love each other... LET'S GO!

1. We Ditched the Blogspot Part III: The Posthumous Biggie/Tupac Collabo

This really is a big day for us and for the site. We want to make this the site for all New Yorkers. We want this to be the Deadspin of NYC sports.

That is, for everyone who LOVES the Mets and hates the Yankees.

I love New York and I love the sports culture. I really love everything about it except the media and Yankee fans.

So rather then avoid them, we bring to you Yankees2000.com.

The place where the Yankees and their fans are hated and where the stupid, irrational, overblown NY Media is left out.

We hope to update you all day, every day, so that Yankees2000.com becomes your place for the best news updates, opinions and unnecessary pictures of famous celebrities in their lingerie.

Like Wayne and Garth, AFOMG and I would love to do Y2K for a living.

This, my friends, is the first of many steps.

1A. The karma factor.

The Mets have been the best team in NYC since we started writing Y2K. We had our best year since 2000 while the Yankees hit a decade-long low. I can't say I don't feel a tad responsible for these happenings, and god knows, I will not quit. Yankees2000.com will go strong for a long time. The only time for retirement might be a Mets WS win.

That, or if the Yankees became the Royals of baseball. That my friends, is when I could die in peace.

DAMNIT, Bill Simmons, I hate you, but you say things that we all say. You really are the people's sports writer.

A very hardy Vaya Con Dios,

Sippy Momo

Best Wishes From....

Exciting stuff today. I know I speak for myself, Sip and A.F.O.M.G. when I say that fun things are happening here, and we hope you're going to stick around for the ride.

But you know what the best thing about the whole re-design process has been? (Apart from having to do no work)

All the good wishes and congratulations that have been coming in from across the Y2K universe. I've got to say, everyone has been surprisingly supportive. It's a great credit to all of you.

So, to show my thanks, and before the other guys christen the site in style, here's a fairly comprehensive list of the folks who have publicly voiced their support the new Y2K site, with commentary where applicable. Again, much love.

Mets Chairman and CEO Fred Wilpon

Mets Senior Executive VP and COO Jeff Wilpon
Mets GM Omar Minaya
Loves the new look, and loves that Y2K largely remains off his back. We criticize where necessarily, but always fairly, and usual with a loving little tweak. We also choose not to make a big deal out of his clearly racist preferences for Latino players (Moises Alou and Ambiorix Burgos ... how very INTERESTING). In all, a fan.

Manager Willie Randolph
Bench Coach Jerry Manuel
Third Base Coach Sandy Alomar, Sr.
New First Base Coach Howard Johnson
This was a little surprising, as we had no idea HoJo even kept up with the Mets blogosphere from down in Norfolk. But he's pumped. Check out the barely-concealed desperation in this quote he gave MLB.com after being hired.

"It's a weight off my shoulders," Johnson said. "The Minor Leagues are what they are; it's a way for players to work their way up, and the same can be said for coaches."

Yikes. This guy probably would have signed up to be Y2K webmaster if it had gotten him to New York. That's why you always ask, folks.

SNY President Jon Litner
SNY studio host Matt Yallof
New SNY studio host Lee Mazzilli
Another shocker. The new guy on the New York broadcast team was probably was just looking for a plug for his debut on Mets Hot Stove (tonight at 6:30, only on SNY!). Well, you got it, kid. Welcome aboard. Now don't suck.


SNY play-by-play man Gary Cohen
SNY color man Keith Hernandez
He wrote the e-mail drunk, but it's still nice to be remembered.

SNY color man Ron Darling
SNY sideline reporter Chris Cotter
Completely digs Sip's sense of humor and fondness for reality television shows, which makes sense when you figure that Cotter's upside in this business is probably hosting a future version of "Elimidate." Who'll be pulling for him the whole way? Y2K.

Mets C Paul LoDuca
Just a two-faced prick, really. Sent a very supportive note with a lot of positive things to say, and an offer to help out with tech support if we needed it. Then we find out from Cotter than Paulie secretly put down $2,000 at 5-1 odds that Y2K folds over the next year. Like we weren't going to find out about that. You're just making us angry.

Mets 1B Carlos Delgado
Mets 2B Jose Valentin
Mets SS Jose Reyes
Doesn't understand a word of it, but loves it all the same. Go figure.

Mets 3B David Wright
Told us he loves seeing the skyline atop the site; it reminds him that he owns this town. Which was a good point, I suppose, but a little uncharacteristically full of himself. Just because Y2K's changing, David, don't you do it too.

Mets OF Carlos Beltran
Mets OF Shawn Green
Mets OF Blastings Thrilledge
Naturally.

Mets OF Moises Alou
Pees on his hands = fan favorite at Y2K. We may try to get some humerous urine anagrams off the ground before long -- I'm starting with "three-run" and "urethra" and working from there. Help would be appreciated.

Mets LHP Billy Wagner
Mets RHP Aaron Heilman
Mets RHP/Steroid User Guillermo Mota
Hizzoner, Mayor Michael Bloomberg
Too busy to actually read site, has public servant and erstwhile Y2K contributor Denver Dave do it for him. Better than nothing.

First Deputy Mayor Patricia Harris

Deputy Mayor for Economic Development and Rebuilding Daniel Doctoroff
He's needed something to keep him busy since his plans for the Olympics and West Side Stadium ingloriously collapsed, and apparently, Y2K has been it. That counts as public service, right?

Corrections Commissioner Martin Horn
Y2K is apparently huge in prison. You do not want to be the guy who DIDN'T catch the morning update, if you know what I mean.

US President George W. Bush
US Vice President Dick Cheney
US Secretary of State Condi Rice
British Prime Minister Tony Blair
Keeps bitching about wanting more cricket coverage. We tell him, hey, you write it. Lazy-ass politicians.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
One of the last guys you'd expect to be reading the site. And, in fact, I'm not doing him any favors by getting this out there -- he's already in enough trouble with the mullahs from that time he hooked up with Lindsey Vuolo during a crazy night in Prague. But the guy -- I kid you not -- is just a huge Shawn Green fan. Loves the way he plays, can absolutely relate to the way his hat falls off all the time. Plus, told us he wants "to wipe the Yankees off the face of the map," which we're clearly down with. That's how we do it -- bringing people together.

But more beautiful music is yet to be made. Keep watching.

Welcome to the New Y2K

Hey everyone,

So as you can see, some things are different around here. The black background, the generic blogger form, the .blogspot URL, gone, gone and gone. We'll remember them fondly, always.

In their place is a website which a buddy of mine from college, Oren, developed. To Oren, Sip, Cheddar, Lou, Chris, Mase, Dan, Tonks and I all give our sincerest thanks. Oren agreed to help us with this project completely free of charge, and for that we are very much appreciative. There is no chance in hell we'd have been able to make this happen on our own.

As for you all out there, we hope you like what you see, and we hope you'll continue checking in with Y2K every day. New threads, same Mets love and Yankee bashing. Feels good to be home.

- A.F.O.M.G.

Pettitte, AI, And The Greatest QB Ever

(Note: A piece by Cousin Dan follows this one from Sip, and after Dan's be sure to check out the latest from Lou Monte. Last reminder: www.yankees2000.com launches tomorrow.)

How great of a QB is Eli Manning?

I mean, the guy has thrown for 442 YDS, 5 TD's and 0 INT's in the last 2 weeks in big games against potential playoff foes. We are so LUCKY to have him as QB.

All I am saying is that this is all a little further evidence of how dumb and overblown most of the New York media is. Give this guy some time, a LT, a #2 WR and allow him to throw to Shockey and he looks like a pretty good and still developing QB.

Meanwhile, two weeks after the Giants hit rock bottom and a week after the division was lost, the men in blue look primed to make a run at not only the wild card but also the division.

There isn't much better than a solid Giants win, especially after freaking out as Atlanta (-4) and up 17-6 allowed to Tampa to drive for a potentially meaningless touchdown/2 pt conversion and backdoor cover.

But watching Tony "The Messiah"/"Jesus"/"God" Romo get crushed on national TV by a guy that was cast off as an NFL starting QB only a year ago, Drew Brees, was pretty sweet.

Now the Cowboys appear vulnerable or it might just be that the Saints are pretty legit.

Did anyone else see Reggie Bush? This kid is simply unreal. He is the only player I have ever seen that makes cornerbacks look slow. The Saints have finally let this kid play and it looks like it is time for the rest of the league to be aware.

While I hate second guessing, I think we are all universal with this one. The Texans are really dumb. It was pretty sweet watching Reggie Bush and Vince Young go into Texas and do what they did. Though, Mario Williams does have speed and we here at Y2K love speed.

AI to the Knicks.

While this deal is unlikely, the Knicks just don't have enough to give up, I certainly am praying for it.

Imagine AI coming to the Knicks.

Then imagine the uber-creative Isiah Thomas playing AI-Starbury-The Franchise and that little Nate guy that loves to remind us how little he is.

We are talking a bigger melee than the Ron Artest brawl.

Punches would be thrown by any one of the four after they didn't touch the ball in consecutive posessions. As someone who is down but coming back on the NBA, this is something that would truly win me over.

AI would ask Marbury for #3. No!

Then he would ask Ewing to wear #33.NO!

AI would be so pissed off that he would refuse to wear a number. That would be pretty revolutionary and a hit on the playgrounds of NYC.

One last thing: After tonight the New Knicks could be all alone on top of the Atlantic Division at a stunning 9-14.

Or they could be in 4th, a game out of last place, at 8-15.

Go New York Go New York Go!

Pettitte Signs W/ The Yankees

And now to business. The Yankees 1yr/ $16mil with Andy Pettitte was yet again a crafty move by Brian Cashman. Instead of getting into the Barry Zito sweepstakes, he may have found a better short term option, who as every newspaper in NY has pointed out, can pitch in the media crazed NYC.

In a market of 4- and 5-year deals worth $10-12 per for 1 year, Pettite's 1 yr and $16 mil deal is obviously a financially sound decision.

It makes the Yankees better and allows them to maintain future flexibility. If this lures Roger Clemens to the Banks in '07 than the move is even better and scarier.

All in all, a great move by the Yankees.

But, like many of their moves, only the Yankees could afford to make a move like this.

The Yankees were paying $16 million dollars for their #6 Starter.

The Yankees already have Mike Mussina, Chien-Ming Wang, Unit, Carl Pavano and Kei Igawa under more than $50 million dollars worth of contracts for '07 (assuming they intend on signing Igawa -- SEE BELOW).

Pettitte essentially gets them an upgrade over Igawa or a safety net when Pavano again breaks down.

Still, even the Cubs aren't paying for a 6th starter. Only the Yankees can do this.

Unless, and it's a big unless, they are not planning on working out a deal to Kei Igawa.

After what seemed like a very questionable bid of $26 mil for the Japaneese #4 starter, everyone was left shaking their heads. Why would the Yankees cough up an average of $10mil per year for an unproven #4 starter? The answer may be that bidding on Igawa bought them a month to try and find something better.

This practice would not be moral and I doubt even legal, but it would be pretty smart.

If the Yankees "fail" to reach agreement with Igawa, then their rotation is set for '07 without the stupid Igawa deal. And it must be that if the Sox fail to reach agreement with Daisuke Matsuzaka then the Yankees could not get in trouble for "failing" to reach an agreement with Igawa.

Either way you look at it, the Yankees made a smart move, one that only they can do, with the potential of them "cheating" baseball by never having had the intention of signing Igawa.

In short, one more reason to hate them.

Finally, if any of you missed it, you should check out AFOMG's article on Pettitte from Sunday. It makes a very different argument, but is pretty f'ing spot on. The big fella is really coming into his own.

Vaya con dios.

Sip

Y2K-U: Cousin Dan's Weekly Update

(Note: We don't like our readers getting complacent, and for that reason we've got a little something different for you this afternoon. Please give a hardy Y2K Welcome to ESPN The Mag alum, and cousin of the Sip, Cousin Dan. Dan will be here each week with his college update. Dan, the only person in the world I know who likes women's college basketball, will do everything in his power to avoid that subject on this site(no disrespect to Coop and the fine ladies of Y2K). So welcome Cousin Dan. Sip will be back with his usual at 2PM, Lou Monte was in this morning, and as always, don't forget, www.yankees2000.com coming TOMORROW!)

Welcome to the first edition of Y2K-U, a ten-pack of my thoughts on the week that was in college sports. Before I begin, a preface. Since this site is all about Yankee bashing, but the Yankees don’t play college sports, I will let it be known at the outset that there will be a great deal of bashing of Duke basketball in the column.

At least one, but as many as four of the items in any given week will be dedicated to pure, unadulterated, and assuredly unhealthy Duke hatred. (You just wait until the Virginia-Duke game!)

This is the kind of fury you can only muster when your wife wants to know why you’re interrupting dinner to check the Duke-Holy Cross score, just to see three consecutive “offensive” “fouls” called on the Crusaders while 4,000 nerds jump up and down.

With that out of the way, here we go.

1. Cleveland, thou must take Troy Smith.

That was the edict from somebody, probably Kirk Herbstreit, after Smith garnered the greatest Heisman margin in history by someone who, and we’re just shooting in the dark here, will not go on to kill his wife.

The reasoning here is that Vince Young would have made Texan fans happy, therefore Troy Smith will do the same in the pros. Problem is, nobody has any idea if Troy Smith will be good in the pros.

I’m not even going to guess, but I only bring it up to say that Cleveland will have a very difficult decision come draft day. The two undisputable truths, however, are that Vince Young did not make Texan bettors happy yesterday, and that Mario Williams stinks.

2. Appalachian State 49, somebody else 24.

ESPN was showing the “Division I College Football Playoffs” Saturday, live from wherever Appalachian State is. Apparently, the welfare of Appalachian State students must not be as important as those from Ohio State, because they are playing some sort of playoff tournament in Division I.

Interestingly, you would think that the studies of the Mountaineers would be more important than those of the Buckeyes, what with it unlikely that many Appy Staters are going league.

3. Call your cable operator now.

So, basically, Steve Bornstein had a lot to do with the growth of ESPN, so now that he runs the NFL Network, he still likes being the bully. The result is that roughly half the country doesn’t get the NFLN, including 3 million homes in New Jersey.

And guess which channel the Rutgers bowl game is on? And guess which channel is refusing to license its rights to a local channel here? Net result: still nobody gets the Network, and a bunch of Rutgers fans have to go to a bar to see the Texas Bowl. Thank you, Scrooge Bornstein.

4. Welcome to the Pac-10, Gonzaga.

My favorite moment of the week was late Wednesday, when I flipped on Fox College Sports West and saw Gonzaga playing at Washington State.

From nearly personal experience, there is nothing whatsoever in Pullman, Washington except a college and a road to the Idaho border, so when Wazzu has something to be excited about, they get real excited. Good times.

The Zags bounced back from that loss, hammering overrated Washington on Saturday in Spokane.

5. January 10, 2007.

Yes, two days after the BCS title game, that’s the first day that the high-and-mighty Dukies will actually dare play a road game. I think Coach K may petition the ACC for some more home conference games next year, ya know, for the good of the sport and Dick Vitale.

Duke does play the aforementioned Zags at MSG in a couple weeks, as part of a special Krzyzewski home-and-home (“you play in Cameron, we play in NY metro area”). Google what happened when he pulled that crap with Lute Olson. Hint: it involves the F-bomb.

6. Seemingly worth the wait.

Caught a little of Greg Oden on Full Court yesterday, and, well, he dunks real good.

Problem is, he may be dunking real good even when OSU isn’t playing Cleveland State. He didn’t miss any shots on his way to 16 in the win. That Ohio State-Florida game coming up could be special.

7. Your weekly Jayhawk update.

Since the happiness of my marriage is often dependent on how Kansas fares in any given week, I’m generally an expert. This week—2 wins over USC and Toledo, and the fans are restless. It must be fun to root for a team when 10-point wins are not good enough because you shoulda won by 20. Or not. I wouldn’t know.

8. Your non-weekly K-State update.

Occasionally while scouring the net for fun Kansas news to give my beloved, I come across stuff like this from the K-State play-by-play guy: "One of the more hostile environments the Wildcats will see all year". This was after the North Dakota State battle, which K-State pulled out at the end, in Fargo. Fargo. For men’s basketball. Riiiiiight.

9) Guy I was most surprised was actually good.

Wisconsin forward Alando Tucker is always mentioned as a possible All-American, but I never bought it until Saturday, when I watched him just tear apart Marquette in Milwaukee.

He’s a legit superstar, and Wisconsin will be a top-3 seed in March if he continues to play at this level.

10. The Final Question.

Has there been a less imposing second-ranked team than Pitt? Ever?

Stay Low,

- Cousin Dan

From Lou Monte’s Inbox to Yours: Scott Boras y Omar Minaya

(Note: Sip will be in with a piece later today. Also, tomorrow's the day, boys and girls. Tomorrow brings the arrival at www.yankees2000.com. For now though, let the smooth sounds of Lou Monte take you away.)

To: Scott Boras
From: Omar Minaya
BCC: Lou Monte
Subject: barry – next week

scott,

headed back from the DR manyana and wanted to make sure we’re on the same page here.

i’ve been talking with theo about this matsuzaka mess, and we both think it’s time you learned a lesson. holding out negotiations to the 11th hour—and, in your case, often way beyond that—just isn’t good business. you’re screwing over red sox nation by asking theo to shell out 100 mil for a guy who’ll never be more than a #2.

your guy doesn’t want to go back home, just like j.d. drew didn’t want to go play semi-pro for a year and a-rod didn’t want to get his whine on in dallas. now it looks like there’ll be more hojo mojo than gyroball jitters when you hold out your guy beyond the deadline once again.

so we’re giving you a deadline on zito—one week. i’m not interested in your meandering, ari gold bullshit. i’m interested in finding a starting pitcher. you don’t have my job, even though the wilpons just LOVED you single-handedly building the tigers last year (kenny rogers is a bum, and anyone who watched The Bases-Loaded Walk knows it).

and while i just love your one-liners in the tabloids—“talent doesn’t have a wristwatch”? that doesn’t even make sense!—i’m not gonna keep rescheduling my weekly card game with rickey henderson so tom hicks can blow barry zito some more.

we both know the angels and dodgers are your phantom clients of the winter and that barry’s already lined up a bassist and cracked-out violin player for a DMB cover band in brooklyn. you know i can go 5 years at 16 per and an option but no more.

i think we can do a bobblehead day, but only if banco popular is sponsoring (seems an all-american boy doesn’t hurt for marketing around here after all, but you already told me that 45 times in the fancy binder i left for the maid back at the hotel in florida).

really don’t mean to be so brash here, but four-hour yuk yuk sessions with cashman strike me as a waste of time when your player knows where he wants to go and for how much.

i’m not pulling anything like that *brilliant* first strategy of the steve phillips era when he refused to draft j.d., but i wouldn’t mind the exclusive negotiations u got theo with j.d. this time around but for barry.

the faster we get this done, the quicker we can put our new primetime sny show into pre-production: chris cotter presents “hitting the murray hill scene with david wright and barry zito.” it’s kind of like the bachelor meets fear factor.

we just love chris cotter over here, so don’t think barry’s gonna be #1 golden boy all of a sudden. in fact, i’m thinking about keeping cliff floyd on part-time just to haze all the white punks on willie’s goodie-two-shoes list. but seriously, stop wasting time around the set of the o.c. over at your newport beach offices and get to the negotiating table.

waiting for you to ink this deal is about as frustrating as putting a candy bar in front of micha barton and just watching her scream at it. so i’ve said my piece. let’s try to fly barry in on wednesday. rickey and i have jordan sitting in for hold ‘em on thursday, so i’m booked then.

no estop belibe,
o.m.

--------------------- Enviado de mi radio del Blackberry------------

Baseball Economics from A(ndy) to Z(ito)

Late Friday afternoon, Andy Pettitte got paid. Oh boy did he get paid, all 14-13, 4.20 ERA, 1.44 WHIP of him, statistics he put up even though his team played NL Central powerhouses like the Brewers, Cubs and Pirates an inordinate amount of times.

In case you weren't keeping track, those three teams finished 27th, 28th, and 29th, respectively, in all of MLB in runs scored, and 24th, 27th and 30th, again, respectively, in OPS. If you're interested, the other two teams in that division, the Cardinals and the Reds, finished 14th and 22nd in runs scored and 14th and 15th in OPS.

Pettitte made interleague starts against the Royals, Rangers and White Sox, and allowed 15 earned runs in 17 innings, going 0-2 with an ERA close to 9.

In short, there's no statistic out there that justifies giving Andy Pettitte $16 million. Did I say $16 million? My mistake. You see, the amount of money the Yanks are throwing at Pettitte becomes particularly unconscionable when you factor in the effect of the luxury tax. Basically, the Yankees pay $1.40 for every 1 dollar they spend.

Factoring that in to the equation, the Yankees are paying $22.4 million for Andy Pettitte. It's completely ridiculous.

Perhaps the best commentary I've heard about the deal was made by some barfly quoted in Saturday's Daily News. "We spend too much on everybody," Sean Higgins said, "so why stop now?"

You know, I really can't argue with him. Pettitte's a fine addition to their club. If your team has a pressing need, with this offseason being what it is, you could do a lot worse than to fill that need with a 1-year player.

But just so we're clear, the Yankees just spent $16/22.4 million on their third (fourth?) starter.

Somewhere, Barry Zito is jamming some sweet DMB on his acoustic guitar. Somewhere else, Scott Boras is smiling.

Barry Zito will sign a contract worth at least $18 million per, assuming he goes for top market value, which all Boras clients do. If you told me his contract will end up being worth $20 million per I'd believe it.

If number 3 starter Andy Pettitte, a guy on the downside of his career, is worth $16/22.4 million, Barry Zito will command at least 18. I see no other way around it.

I want the Mets to sign Zito. Rarely does a player fit a team's needs as perfectly as Zito fits ours.

I was talking it over with the Hound this morning when I recalled a quote from Robin Ventura after the 2001 season.

Robin speculated that one of the reasons the Mets started slowly in 2001 was that throughout the entire offseason leading up to that season, there was a perception that the Mets had to do something to offset the loss of Mike Hampton. More specifically, they had to upgrade their offense. More specifically still, they had to sign A-Rod. Didn't happen.

There's a similar perception with this club. Pedro Martinez won't be in the mix until July or August, possibly not at all. The team pieced together a rotation all season, and limped into the postseason. In the end, it wasn't pitching that did us in, but there's still a palpable need for young, durable pitching. And that's what Barry Zito provides.

In order for him to provide it, however, the Mets are gonna have to provide him and his with a whole lotta loot. 16 million? Keep dreaming. 18 million? Getting warmer. 20 million? Nice doing business with you.

Ugh.

- A.F.O.M.G.

Starting Pitching vs. Relief

I don't disagree with my partner too often, but I do here, AFOMG. On the response board yesterday, AFOMG posted the following:

"Sip: I hear ya on Gil Meche, I can't believe he got that kind of deal.

That said, give the Royals some credit: at least they're trying to upgrade their club through starting pitching, which is a decidedly better strategy than the Orioles, who seem to think that the way to rebuild is through middle relief. "

I just think my buddy is wrong.

I don't think what the Orioles did is genius. I don't really love it.

And as Happy Will and everyone else in baseball will point out, relievers are far less consistent than closers.

But if the O's just pumped in $15 mil per to turn their 6-7-8 innings into the best in baseball, then I love that move compared to signing Gil Meche.

Again, who knows if Baez, Walker, Bradford, Williamson, Big Bird, Snuffalufugous and Jeff Innis can duplicate their performances from years past. But if they come close, then the Orioles have an awesome pen in front of an emerging Chris Ray.

Investing in bullpen arms has for years been a risky proposition, often much riskier than acquiring starting pitchers. That does not mean, however, that the strategy does not work.

From here we have to take a look at Meche. For $11 mil per year, you are not getting a lights out start every week. When the 28-year-old fireballer takes the hill, more often than not you're going to get an average start.

I'd much prefer $15 million devoted to a strong bullpen than $11 million to Gil Meche.

I would make a different argument if we were talking Barry Zito here. For $16 million dollars per year, 5 more than Meche's deal, you know you will get a strong performance out of a pitcher. You are investing in consistency and winning, two things Barry Zito has done in the past.

In my eyes, you take the dominant starter and three random middle relievers over the average starter every time.

This was always my argument for keeping Aaron Heilman in the pen. Why give up a dominant 7-8 guy for a potential 5 and at best 4 starter? All Heilman would do is eat innings. He would not dominate a game like he can in the later innings.

And finally my last point.

Imagine you are in the postseason, it is game 2 of the LCS and you are down 1-0. Is there any person in the world that is truly happy with Gil Meche throwing that game for his team? If there is, and he or she is not related to Gil Meche, then please find me.

Yes, I had some confidence when Shitty Trachsel took the mound in May, but I can't say the same for when he took the mound in October.

Come October, you want two things. Dominant starting pitching and a strong, deep bullpen. Average starting pitching in the postseason takes you nowhere but home. Yes, we saw what Suppan and Weaver did this last October, but rolling the dice on Meche becoming the next one of those two bums is just the same as rolling those dice on Aaron Heilman.

So to invest a ton of money in middle-of-the-rotation guys is even more foolish when it comes to the postseason. Would you rather have Barry Zito and John Maine going games 2 and 3 or Ted Lilly and Gil Meche?

With group 1 you have 1 start you think you should win. With group 2, you have two coin flips. Not to mention, in group 1, you are now saving about $5 million per year to use on say, a dominant setup man. You do the math.

In general, the postseason is won by ace pitching and dynamite bullpen.

Right now, the Orioles are 1 for 2 in this department.

The Royals are 0 for 2.

Victory for Sip.

Vaya con dios,

Sip

Bringing Back HoJo

(Note: A piece from Sip follows this one from A.F.O.M.G. Also, be sure to check in with Y2K over the next 24 hours for full reaction to the Andy Pettitte deal.)

One of the first seasons I can actually recollect is 1991. My life as a Mets fan is basically a blur up until that point, fragmented memories that appear as screenshots in my mind with no captions there to provide context.

But by 1991 I had arrived, and for that reason I remember to this day that Howard Johnson led the league in home runs that year with 38 dingers.

I remember going to games with the Hound and how the stadium would come alive every time the announcer read "Now batting, number 20, Howard Johnson," the way it used to come alive for Mike Piazza a few years back, and the way it comes alive now whenever Jose Reyes or David Wright's name is called.

I mention this not because HoJo was recently named the new first base coach for the Mets. I'm excited about it, don't get me wrong. Everything I've ever heard about HoJo-as-coach indicates that he communicates well with players and is well-liked and respected.

The reason I mention HoJo's league-leading 38 dongs is more to reflect on just how much baseball has changed. In case you'd forgotten, there was Barry Bonds signing a $16 million deal for another (final?) season with San Francisco. Bonds, you know, 21 home runs shy of 755? Set the record with 73 home runs a few years and several federal inquiries ago?

To be honest, I find bitching about the steroid era a bit tiresome. Don't get me wrong, it's a necessary topic for reporting and discussion. But there's no changing what's in the past, you know? It's the future that's malleable and as far as we can tell, baseball is moving in a steroid-free direction (although not necessarily at the pace we'd like it to).

So my point isn't to whine about Bonds. The point is that, for me, HoJo's return to the Mets throws into pretty sharp relief just how different the game we watch today is compared with the one I and most of the rest of you grew up watching.

The year before HoJo led all comers with 38, Ryne Sandberg led the league with 40. The year after, 1992, it was Fred McGriff's turn when he hit 35. Different time.

The consequences of the long ball explosion of the past decade aren't limited to home run totals, though. Take David Wright. Wright hit 26 homeruns in his age 23 season, a total I think we were all mildly disappointed with after he hit 27 in his age 22 season.

But then look at Darryl Strawberry's home run totals for his age 22, 23, and 24 seasons: 26, 29, and 27. The guy was considered one of the premier sluggers in the league, and with good reason, he finished 4th, 6th and 5th in the league in the years between 1984 and 1986, respectively.

Today it's different. Hitting 26 home runs is mildly disappointing, and god knows it's not enough to get you in to the top 10 (that would take 35 home runs). Hitting 30 home runs is a nice season, but it's not the kind of year a 9-year-old kid is going to remember when he's 23, at least I wouldn't think.

That's not sad or tragic necessarily, but for me, the day after we brought back HoJo and Bonds signed the contract that should see him vault to No. 1 on the all-time homeruns list, I find there's a little part of me that wishes we could all still be floored by a guy who hits a measly 38 homers.

Even if that guy needed a corked bat to do it.

* * * * *

Speaking of steroids, the Mets resigned Guillermo Mota yesterday to a 2-year deal that will pay him $5 million. Did I say 2 years? I meant 1.69.

A lot of people are excited to have Mota back. Generally speaking I think it's a fine move, but I'm surprised we had to go to 2 years. I mean, can any of us say for certain that Mota's late-seaosn turnaround wasn't directly attributable to steroids? What's our guarantee that he won't go back to being the shitty pitcher he was for Cleveland once he's off the juice?

There is none, but nevertheless we're committed to paying him $3.2 million in 2008. What leverage did he have exactly that made a 2-year deal necessary?

Between the steroid stigma, the obvious concern that his performance without the juice is better reflected in his time as an Indian than as a Met, and the alleged good will between Mota and the Mets, I'd have thought that a 1-year pact would do the trick.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about this deal, I'm just a little surprised by it.

- A.F.O.M.G.

Repeat After Me: Gil Meche Is NOT Pedro Martinez

(Note: A.F.O.M.G. will be in with a post later this afternoon. Also, we're at four days and counting until the launch of www.yankees2000.com.)

I got the numbers wrong yesterday. Gil Meche didn't get 4 years, $45 million. He got 5 years, $55 million. Pardon me for that.

But really, what the hell is going on here? Is Royals GM Dayton Moore drinking from the kool-aid? This guy is coming off a career year with very unspectacular numbers (11-8, 4.48 ERA, 1.43 WHIP) in the most pitching friendly of parks, Safeco Field. Career year and all, did you guys know that Meche was 51st amongst starters in baseball in ERA this past season? I mean, yikes.

This guy doesn't even have moxie. He's sort of a strikeout guy (157 K's, 187 IP), he's not a control guy (85 walks) and he was won more than 11 games just once in his career (15 in 2003).

I don't consider myself Einstein when it comes to baseball, but I like to think I know the game pretty well. So what the hell am I missing here?

I can see the appeal in Ted Lilly. He is a lefty, who put up solid numbers in the homer dome in Toronto while pitching in the toughest division in baseball. I understand why the Sox paid for Matsuzaka and you can argue that Jeff Suppan deserves his money after the postsesaon he just had.

But Gil Meche? The only other Gil in the world I know is the Gil from "Average Joe II" who turned down Larissa after she told him that she once dated Fabio. At least that dude had some moxie.

I talk Gil Meche because it makes me want to kill myself for not being 6'4, 220 lbs. No way I couldn't be a shitty pitcher in the major leagues, and it appears that the market for shitty pitchers is really strong these days.

The reason I bring in Gil Meche and his Pedro Martinez-like contract is that there is ZERO CHANCE that Omar Minaya will trade Aaron Heilman now unless the value he gets back is huge.

If teams view Heilman as a 4th starter and Gil Meche is getting $55 mil to be just that, then someone will have to cough up big time to get the former Fighting Irish righthander.

Amidst the Joe Blanton rumors I heard talks of a Lastings Milledge and Aaron Heilman for Danny Haren deal.

Danny Haren, besides being my favorite pitcher and a linchpin of my fantasy team every year, is an ace in the making. He was the integral piece of the deal that sent Mark Mulder to the Cardinals back in '05 and has emerged in 2 seasons as a very dependable, innings eating strikeout pitcher. I

can't fathom a world in which Billy Beane would trade this kid. He is 26 and still earning pennies in relative baseball terms. But if for some reason Beane is as obsessed with Milledge as he has been in the past, and likes Heilman enough as a starter, then this is absolutely the type of deal that the Mets should jump at. That is the type of value we need to get to part with our two kids.

Do I make this deal with Mike Pelfrey instead of Heilman? Yes I do. That is how good Haren is. But my point here is not to speculate as much as it is to talk about the type of player we can obtain via trade where a trade makes sense.

To get our hands on a proven ace who is getting paid (Chris Carpenter, Roy Halladay etc.) aka, guys that would never in their lives be traded OR a young, cheap, but somewhat proven ace in the making, then we pull the trigger. But for nothing less.

In today's baseball economy, kids with talent and cheap contracts are like gold. Gil Meche or anyone like him. That ain't Gold.

Vaya con dios,

Sip

Ah, These Winter Meetings

(Note: A letter from the father of the newest Met, by way of Cheddar Ben, appears immediately beneath this post from Sip.)

This week's winter meetings have been both sad and comical but in most cases they've been either comically sad or sadly comical.

I gotta say, before I get back to shop, that my head is just not where it should be. My head is in another place, for good reasons.

The Real World Denver

I mean, wow. We haven't seen a group like this in a long time.

In Tyrie, they took Brandon Jacobs right out of the Giants backfield and put him in Denver.

They found the one gay dude in all of the south, who happens to get drunk and shout insanely offensive remarks towards black people.

Then, there are three girls, completely interchangable, all of whom are fighting to make sure they are plucked for the next Real World/Road Rules Challenge, ensuring a prosperous career as an MTV reality star.

Then, the ultra conservative black dude who forgives and a cooler version of my friend Jake, who only wears pastel t-shirts.

In three episodes we've had backstabbing, sex, race wars and drama. The Real World is back.

Almost makes you forget this baseball stuff.

But I guess this is a baseball website, or at least is when AFOMG writes, but for now, I will try my best to play the part.

The Comical

Freddy Garcia going to the Phils. Never have I been more excited about one of my rivals obtaining a big name pitcher. Fresh off a career worst year in which his ERA sckyrocketed almost a run to 4.54 and he dished out 1 hr per start, Freddy Garcia is leaving the somewhat pitcher friendly U.S Cellular Field for the extremely homerun friendly Citizens Bank Park.

Early Predicition: Freddy Garcia's ERA shoots above 5, and he goes nuts.

The Sad

The Royals, of all teams, were the ones that broke the bank for Gil Meche. You could be the biggest baseball fan in the world or not know a thing about the game, and either way you scratched your head when you saw that Gil Meche received a salary paying him $10 mil/per.

Gil Meche just isn't very good. There is no other way to put it. He was a very highly rated prospect about ten years who blossomed into a very servicable 3-4 starter. But he's not even a good 3-4. He's not even Steve Trachsel (though he throws a lot like him).

So it only makes sense that the Royals jumped at this guy. The Royals, the worst team of the new millenium, not only overpay for this guy, but they REALLY overpaid, to the tune of 4yrs/ $45 mil.

Gil Meche is getting paid $11.25 million dollars per year to pitch badly.

This is our country!

The Sadly Comical

Oh my beloved Tribe. For those who don't know me or don't follow the site, you should know that I am a pretty big Indians fan. I jumped on board back in '04 when the Killer B's, Broussard and Blake, where slapping dongs out of the Jake like it was a homerun derby, leading the Tribe to an unexpected late season playoff push.

I love the Tribe. I am happy to call them my AL team. Plus Major League is my favorite movie so why not?

So I kind of chuckled a laugh of desperation when I saw that they were the winners of the Joe Borowski sweepstakes. Borowkski, who failed a physical blocking a two year deal with the PHightin's, signed with the Tribe for 1 year and 4 mil.

This is a team who wants to make a push for the postseason, and they are rolling out a physically unable Joe Borowski to close games.

Guys, be thankful that we live in New York. That I write a blog bitching about the Yankees is insane when you look at how the rest of the country should feel.

The Comically Sad

It only makes sense, or at least it should if you are a conspiracy theorist. But if the Monster were to join an AL team so he could end his career in the DH position, it is almost to be expected that he would end up in Oakland, a trip on the Bay Bridge away from San Francisco, the land of the Gay Joke.

Oh Monster.

You couldn't have gone to Detroit or somewhere tough. The whole run in San Diego really made skeptics question, and your performance at the All Star Game when you were jamming out with what I think was Hoobastank (or some other shitty band) made us fear, but come on, Mike.

You are just throwing up a lob to all of your critics here.

Omar Minaya

I was sharing this one with some inner circle people last night, but it all kind of clicks for me.

I think, Omar Minaya may just be extremely shrewd. He is showing all signs that the Mets are not truly interested in Zito in which case, Texas would essentially be negotiating against itself.

Minaya is talking trade with everyone, claiming his young kids are all available, all to show Boras and co. that he will go elsewhere.

Then, right when Texas gets comfortable, right when they think that Zito is their guy, they get complacent.

Then Omar swoops in, offers a little more money and tells Zito how much the Mets really want him, how they had done their homework and want to give him more than they originally thought.

Then Zito will feel loved and be able to come to a winner in NY or LA where he can play his music and date his ESPN correspondents.

It all makes sense. If this is the case, Omar is a genius.

The Blastings for Blanton deal

Blanton is a bulldog. He eats innings and is a very solid #3. In a land where Ted Lilly is getting 10 mil/per, Blanton is a bargain. His ERA would surely drop if he came to the NL and the guy is known to party pretty heaivly, spotted on Page 6 having a late night at NYC hot spot Marquee last spring.

Am I crazy about this deal? No.

But Blanton really is a nice arm and he is young and durable and would be a great Plan B. And it may be that bringing him on board entices Zito further, which would be extra sweet.

That's just me.

More on that deal if and when it happens.

VCD,

Sip

A Message From Ambiorix Burgos' Father

(Note: A post by Sip will follow this afternoon. Also, mark it down: 12/12 is the official launch date for www.yankees2000.com.)

My sincere thanks to Senor Omar Minaya for giving my sweet boy Ambiorix a chance to play for his team in the great city of New York. You are a kind man, sir, and this will not be forgotten. Senor Dayton Moore, you are no longer welcome in the Burgos household. Be gone.

You may ask, as so many have before, why you should waste your time listening to a man who would name his first-born son Ambiorix. It is a fair point. I say only that Ambiorix was a legendary Gaulish chief now a hero to the Belgian people for standing up to Caesar, and it is a fine name for a leader.

And you might say that it's most likely the Belgians made all of that up when they founded their country in 1830 and needed new national heroes, and ask besides, what does any of that have to do with us poor folks in the Dominican Republic? I would reply that please, pendejo, leave us in peace. His name is Ambiorix, and that is enough.

My name is Yadier Burgos, and I live in the town of Nagua. It is a simple home, sirs, one of the shittiest places in all the country. I work here in obscurity for pitiful sums of money and no respect. Little is here that might not be improved by a few weeks spent drifting in the ocean tides.

Indeed, it is likely that a flood will one day wash away the entire village. I eagerly await that day. With any luck, we will take those rich bastards from Cabrera with us. But I digress.

The arm of my boy Ambiorix is the most beautiful thing our town has ever produced. Have you seen it? I knew not was joy was until I beheld it for the first time. It is exquisite.

Strong, like the hindquarters of a well-fed horse. Shaped as if from the finest cliff rock, and polished by the pounding of the waves. Strong bones, fed from all the calcium we poor townsfolk could scrape together, and a hell of a cute little elbow.

And the things it can do! Oh, they are remarkable, and it started so long ago. When Ambiorix was a child, and the other boys would taunt him about his cursed name, he would pick up small rocks and throw them with the ferociousness of his namesake. He was incorrigible!

We were too poor to afford a radar gun, but I can tell you on my honor that these rocks were zipping. Plus, they tended to explode the heads or organs of the other boys on contact, so there was that. He killed more than 50 boys before the magistrate ordered us to introduce him to beisbol.

But since then, he has slain not more than a handful of troublemakers, and besides, his playing on the diamond has been enough to make everyone forget about all such unpleasantness. He began in the Major Leagues when he was no more than 20 years old. How many of you yankees can say that?

When he was 21 years old, he pitched in 59 games for the Royals of Kansas City, and his ERA was only 3.98. This is very impressive, even if you are a puta such as Steve Phillips.

And last year? What of it? Yes, he may have blown 12 saves, and been on track to break that record before his coward of a manager removed him from the closer job. It was a mere pause in his great career. No more.

But the questions, so many questions. So many comments and remarks. You Americans have something negative to say about everything, even a young Domincan boy who can take the head off a magistrate with a coconut from 75 paces.

I do know not this Rob Neyer, but I am told he works for your evil network ESPN. This is not surprising. Senor Neyer had this to say about my boy last season.

"He's simply not a major league pitcher, and has absolutely no business pitching in close games ... I won't be shocked if Burgos is decent next season, and maybe a little better in 2007. But right now he's unspeakably awful, and the organization's unwillingless to face this glaring fact has cost the Royals something like five wins this season."

Not so unspeakable, though, eh, senor? I understand that Ambiorix had just blown his 11th save of the season and the third of the week, so your ire is understood. But nonetheless unwise.

Oh, Senor Rany Jazayerli, did you have something to add?

"The guy has two pitches, iffy control, and judging from all the homers he gave up this season, not a very good idea of what he's doing on the mound ... I still think his future is bright - he struck out a man an inning and actually had a slightly better walk rate (ignoring IBB) than as a rookie. But he's a mess right now."

Ought I to thank you for your optimism at the end there, senor? I think not. I encourage you to stay away from Mets spring training next spring, lest there be an unfortunate accident of some kind. Like Ambiorix killing you.

Anyone who talks about my boy should describe him as nothing less than a complete and dangerous strikeout machine. He throws 100 miles per hour. He has the heart of a lion. He will be a sensation in New York. He will bring glory and riches back to our family, hopefully before our town has slipped into the sea.

If you have questions about his control, I ask only this. Take off your hat and stand very still. We will soon see if your fears were justified or not.

Vaya con dios,

Yadier Burgos

All I Want for Christmas

(Note: A piece by Sip and our weekly Section 423 column follow this post.)

Sip wouldn't know anything about this, but I've had a hard time making a Christmas list this year.

There's just not a whole lot that I want, really. I could use a new computer, but I want to wait for Vista to drop. I could use a new bookshelf, but I don't really have any good place to put it. Matt Cerrone suggested some books for me, but I've already read one of them, and the other, well, the other could happen I guess.

But what I really want for Christmas, what I desperately want for Christmas, is an ace for my Mets. A week ago I was certain Barry Zito was the guy. I didn't think there was a chance in hell he went anywhere else.

Then Tom "Money Talks" Hicks got involved. For those of you who aren't familiar with Hicks, he's the guy who basically bid against himself to ink A-Rod for 10 years and $252 million.

Hicks has one big thing going for him: Texas doesn't have a state income tax, so $100 million there goes farther than it does in, oh, I don't know... picking a state out of a hat... New York, for example.

That's important because Hicks has one big thing going against him: Texas sucks. Or well, it may not suck (I really wouldn't know), but it doesn't have any of the cache that New York or California has.

I bring this all up because earlier this week I told the Hound that if the Mets signed Zito, I wanted a blue Zito t-shirt under the tree. That was big for me. See, I have a policy of not getting a player's t-shirt until he's put in some time as a Met and proved he deserves it.

(I've violated this policy twice: the first time with Jose Reyes, the second time with Pedro Martinez. Both validated my investment in short order.)

Anyway, at the time I made my request for a Zito t-shirt, I thought him signing with the Mets was basically a formality, now I'm not so sure.

For all we've heard about how crazy the market has been this offseason (and god knows it has been), look at the deals that ace pitchers have signed in the past several months. Roy Oswalt, 5 years, $73 million. Chris Carpenter, 5 years, $65 million.

Frankly, Zito deserves less than either of these guys. He's going to get more, and I'm OK with that, I can accept the market for what it is, but there's gotta be a limit.

My limit is 5 years and $85 million. That's $17 million per season, enough money to pay for basically the next two, maybe three generation of Zitos, assuming those damn, dirty liberals don't extend their lustful preoccupation with taxing hardworking folk past their graves.

And yet somehow I have this creeping suspicion it won't be enough. There's the Boras thing. There's the fact that he really doesn't deserve this much money to begin with, so why leave money on the table when it probably won't be there 5-7 years from now? There are the rumors that Hicks is talking 7 year/$102 million.

And perhaps most importantly, there's the fact that no matter how much success our team enjoyed in 2006, I'm still, at my core, basically a pessimistic Mets fan. I can't possibly get all I want for Christmas can I? Stay tuned...

Oh and Hound, I appreciate the thought, but you can hold off on ordering my Ambiorix Burgos t-shirt for the time being. I like the move (I don't think it would be possible for a back-end starter to be lower on a depth chart than Brian Bannister had come to be on ours), but let's just say the proven Met policy extends to young Ambiorix.

Speaking of the Bannister deal, before I go I want to touch on just two more topics: Julio Lugo, and these rumors that keep circulating about the Mets and A's working on some mega-deal.

Lugo first: thank god he ended up in Boston. I asked some people on MetsGeek yesterday what I was missing with this guy and didn't get any really compelling answers.

A 1- or 2-year deal? Fine. Four years for a guy who isn't even a second baseman, after committing $3.8 million to Jose Valentin? Sorry, not interested.

Mets-A's mega-deal: I'm pretty long on Rich Harden. He's had injuries, but he's still young (25), still throws gas, and if he could be had in a package centering around Lastings Milledge and Aaron Heilman, that's worth looking in to.

The thing about both Lastings and Heilman is that they have more value to other teams than they do to the Mets -- Lastings because there's no centerfield vacancy for him here, and Heilman because other teams view him as a starter.

For that reason, I'd be somewhat hesitant to ship them both off in the same deal, but given that my protectionist zeal for Mike Pelfrey, Phil Humber and All-or-Nothing Ollie Perez currently knows no bounds, we might not have any choice if we really want Harden.

My bet? All this Harden-to-Mets talk materializes to little more than hot air.

If I'm wrong, well, it wouldn't be the first time.

- A.F.O.M.G.

BURGOS TIME!!!

(Note: Quick piece from Sip before A.F.O.M.G. comes at you later this afternoon. Also, be sure to check out the latest in our Section 423 series on the Knicks, immediately following this post.)

Many of you may not be familiar with Ambiorix Burgos, but I sure am. When you play in gimmick fantasy baseball leagues like 2005's "AL ONLY No Yankees League," or 2006's "Players From Bottom Half Payroll Teams League," players like Ambiorix Burgos, and all Royals and Rockies for that matter, become very important.

Sometime in the last 16 hours the Mets traded Brian Bannister for Burgos.

Here is the scouting report on big AB.

Let me tell you something, team. Nothing and I mean nothing gets your adrenaline pumping like a good freak out session during an Ambrioix Burgos save situation. God bless the Royals and the MLB package.

Bring in "Big Play" Tom Mastny and we are about talking 2/5 of my 5-headed closing machine from fantasy this past season.

Anyway, Burgos.

This guy throws absolute gas. We are talking hitting 100 mph consistently. He can go weeks and not give up a hit BUT he can go weeks and not get an out.

His control has the ability to elude him. That is putting it nicely. He walked a batter in 1 of every 2 of his 73.1 innings (37 BB, Not good) but also, surprise, surprise, struck out a batter an inning(72K).

Just a stat I dug up to showcase young Ambriox's inconsistency:

ERA
April: 2.61
May: 9.98
June: 4.63
July: 1.42
August: 9.00
September: 3.48
October: Shockingly, Young Burgos didn't make any appearances in October.

Burgos is the classic Rick Peterson reclamation project. If Rick can get him throwing strikes, who knows what he can become.

One thing I am fine with is losing Brian Bannister. The guy had one pitch, a flat 87 mph fastball. His starts took longer than Steve Trachsel's and he just lacked the moxie you look for in a kid.

One thing I am not fine with: Burgos being unavailable in whatever cracked out fantasy league I do next year.

Vaya con dios,

Sip

Section 423: We Gon' Make It... We Gon' Make It

(Note: A.F.O.M.G. will be in with a post later this afternoon. Also, please be aware that beginning Tuesday, Dec. 12, Yankees 2000: Promote the Curse will move to its new home, www.yankees2000.com.)

Heart. Teamwork. Passion. These are the staples of any successful squad in the National Basketball League. Important ingredients in the receipe for achievement, and slowly but surely, characteristics that describe the current group of those wearing the Orange and Blue.

As it does for the offense of late, it starts with Eddy Curry. Still lazy, still raw, still a nightmare at the charity stripe, but right before our eyes, we are witnessing a transformation.

Curry is blossoming into the premier big man in pro hoops. He is so talented offensively, and his recognizing the double team, and passing out of it to get his teammates shots, is a formula we are gong to be seeing at the Garden for a long, long time.

I'm ok with that. This is the transition from Portland to Indiana for Jermaine O'Neal. This is a boy becoming a man, accepting responsibilty for his undeniable blessing of size and skill. Curry is finally making the most of every minute out there, and most importanly, he looks and acts like he cares.

Same goes for the whole team. There is a sense of togetherness about the squad that hasn't been around 7th avenue in years. Last time this city saw this kind of unity was when David Wright, Uncle Cliff, Jose Reyes and the rest of the gang ran shit with the Mets over at Shea.

David Lee is fired up and rebounding out of his mind (still not crazy about him as a starter), Balkman is a beast, now dunking several times a game and always adding a spark. Even Steph is slowly finding a groove, treading water amongst the tabloids and Garden faithful (at least he's not drowning).

The problem is no longer a lack of energy or emotional investment, and it is no longer skill or athleticism. The focus now must be turned to strategy and in-game decision making. Matchups. Lineups. The game within the game.

When Crawford has it going, it's like watching the cockiest kid in the playground pick up anybody brave enough to call him out. He maintains this swagger even when he goes 0-for-8 and adds nothing defensively or on the glass.

If Crawford isn't feeling it on a specific night, that's fine, but Zeek needs to sit him. Why wasn't Francis closing out the 4th vs. the Grizzles Monday night?

At 7-13, things could be worse. 1-1 on the current 11-game homestand. Got to finish that 6-5, anything in the black at this point.

How does Isiah have time to focus on the front office? Is there anything available for a Crawford-Frye combo? And when will he take the reigns off Marty Collins?

Nate the Great needs to be playing 20 minutes or less. He is a nutcase and a loose cannon. I'm over that little dude. Grow up already. If Jerome James doesn't play one more second in his career, it will be a step forward for the entire sport.

So the keys right now are to ride out Curry into the sunset, have a little more focus in the lineup and in-game substitutions, and to keep having fun and playing with heart.

It's a nice reminder to the rest of the league, that even if you are the lacking stock of pro sports, at the end of the day you're playing sports for a living and that's worth a smile and a fist pump every so often... just to show that you're human.

Go Knicks!

- Chris & Mase

Free Agent or Die

(Note: A piece by Cheddar Ben about appears immediately below this piece by Sip.)

I don't fall asleep well. I don't know why, but this has always been the case. So last night, I am somewhere in that area between when your eyes first grow a little tired and that time where you really try to make that first effort to fall asleep when out of the corner of my eye I saw ESPN's ticker. (Note: I fall asleep with the television on)

"Vicente Padilla has agreed to three year extension with the Rangers for $34 million."

I jumped up like Pookie in New Jack City at the sight of crack rock. Baseball has gone mad.

In a world where Vicente Padilla, a Phillies castoff, is getting more than $11.3 million per year to be the Rangers #2 starter, I think I should get at least 1% of that for mentioning that bum in a New York sports blog. I guess this world just has fucked up priorities.

The only thing that didn't make me want to strangle myself was knowing that the Mets and Omar Minaya were not the ones to sign this guy. I just didn't want him, but like every player in the market, the Mets' name seemed to be attatched.

I have said it before and I will say it again. Baseball has gone crazy!

Such a swing in free agent spending would not happen in the other major sports. Both football and basketball have salaray caps that prevent teams from overspending.

I know us New Yorkers look at the Knicks and would disagree with my statement above, but that is why you have to realize how much of an anomaly the Knicks truly are. They are the dumbest run franchise in the history of the sports. But enough with that.

Vicente Padilla is getting $34 mil and he is not good. Ted Lilly, a guy who I sorta want on the Mets, but is risky, is about to get in the neighborhood of 4yrs and $36-40 mil from the Cubs.

Ted Lilly's agent, Larry O'Brien, is going about getting his client the most money possible using simple agent practices. That is, he is comparing his client to other similar clients -- like Jarrod Washburn -- and then using Washburn's contract as a starting point for his negotiation.

Lilly and Washburn are both semi-hard throwing lefties who have had success on the big league level, top out as a #2 starter and are more realistically #3's.

Washburn has a 4-yr, $36 mil deal with the Mariners so expect something similar for Lilly, who some consider a slight step beneath Washburn.

I bring you all of these contracts because it leads me to my point.

The Mets should not trade Aaron Heilman and Lastings Miledge. That is, of course, unless they are blown away.

In a league where Vicente Padilla is getting $11 million to stink in Texas, the Mets will pay Heilman around $1 million.

In a league where Gary Matthews Jr. is making $50 million dollars over the next 5 years, the Mets might pay Miledge about 1/10 or 2/10 of that, or $5-$10 million dollars.

With the insane inflation in salaries, especially those going to second tier players, there is nothing more valuable in baseball than an established young player.

Teams craving cheap closers would throw the farm at the Mets for either Aaron Heilman or Duaner Sanchez while teams craving a #4 starter would do the same for Heilman as well.

With a guy like Miledge, you have a ton of baggage. But you also have a ton of baggage at 400k per year for the next three years. That's especially attractive when you look at the options for 2008.

After this season, when Shawn Green and Moises Alou become free agents, who knows what the top tier free agents in baseball would be commanding:

$20 mil for Vernon Wells
$15 mil for Bobby Abreu
$12 mil for Carlos Guillen
Hell, $9 mil for Byrnesy

As an acquaintance and as his biggest fan, I love Byrnesy. But I would much rather pay young Lastings nothing to play left field than this guy $9 mil per.

What we all forget about young Lastings, between his scuffles with teammates, his sweet wooden crosses and his cocky demeanor, is that this guy is supposed to be an awesome baseball player.

Six months before this kid arrived at Shea, we were getting ready to see the next Carlos Beltran. But he struggled and was a prick along the way.

Jose Reyes struggled and got hurt all the time.

I'd much rather have a healthy cocksucker as a prospect, than an injury prone nice-guy.

We have the value in young Lastings and we all know the value of Aaron Heilman. In my opinion there is only way that we can trade these guys.

We would need an impact guy with multiple years left on his deal. We can't trade these guys for Javier Vazquez, a free agent in a year, because with one good season, this guy is commanding $15 mil per in NEW MLB dollars.

Unfortunately, as smart as we would be not to trade our kids, no GM in baseball is going to trade away one its top arms if they have a reasonable long term deal consisting of fewer OLD MLB dollars.

Which means one thing. Throw the bank at Zito.

Better to pay Zito 6 yrs, $100 mil, keep Miledge at $400k and keep Heilman at $1 mil than have Javy Vazquez/Freddy Garcia etc. at 1-3 years $10-12 per, and no Heilman and Milledge.

Option A looks a hell of a lot better in pretty much any way you look at it.

Believe.

Vaya con dios,

Sip

Introducing ... "Incogzito"

(Note: Sip will be in with a post later. Also, this post contains a vaguely NSFW photo: consider yourself warned. Pictures of this sort are not normally run on Y2K, and just in case your boss happens to be peering over your shoulder, we like to keep you guys in the know.

Also, please note that one week from today we will launch our new site at www.yankees2000.com. Cheers.)

Kudos to Lou Monte on a bold debut yesterday. That Barry Zito video from "At Home With Lisa Guerrero" was a find and a half, a veritable treasure trove of Zito mania. It felt a little bit like a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Future, but more on that in a moment.

More pressingly, I'm going to break with Sweet Lou and admit I already hate this curveballed asshole.

A couple of points about the video, and scroll down and watch it if you already haven't. Really, Lisa was eating out of the palm of his hand just a little too much for anyone's taste. I mean, there's unprofessional, and there's trying to throw off the camera so you can move in for the kill. "Here's the San Francisco wharf, here's the harbor seals, here's a cheap motel room...."

And also, Lisa coined a term during that fateful broadcast that will certainly live on at Y2K for all eternity, assuming Barry does in fact wind up signing with Los Mets. She knew not what she did.

That term? Incogzito.

It's a delightlful little word fraught with hidden meaning, double takes and loaded connotations, so we're going to need to break it down here. Well done to Lisa, once more, for introducing it to the world.

My take? Incogzito is to incognito as Slim Shady is to Emimem.

Incognito implies a genuine desire to go unnoticed, a need (conscious or otherwise) to stay out of the blistering spotlight.

First of all, he who rolls "incogzito" is most certainly not trying to be inconspicuous, or keep a low profile. On the contrary, dear Watson, he is most likely trying to be the center of the show in a most pining and pathetic way.

But these incogzito types draw interest by acting in a bizarre or surreptitious manner, a la Barry and that creepy guitar playing from the video. Weird stuff. I never knew how many times the guitar-smashing scene from "Animal House" could run through your head in a 30-second span, but here we are.

To the point of motive, the incogzito actor tries to draw attention by acting as if he is not trying to draw attention.

Thus the paradox suggests itself to the passersby -- compelled to look at his antics, whether they be of a sociopathic or understated bent, out of a notion that this weirdo is doing something interesting and doesn't want to be seen.

There's something good to watch here, says they. A little slice of humanity. Let's follow along.

Whereas, in fact, he or she is hoping you'll pick up on that vibe, and watch their stupid ass parade around as if John le Carre used to have coffee at that little shop on the corner with the excellent blinces. Not bloody likely, right?

A couple of clarifications are called for.

What about sunglasses?

First of all, for obvious reasons, sunglasses play a big role in both incognito and incogzito. The true sub rosa operator must shield his eyes for reasons of prudence and necessity, the better to avoid detection, and so must the poseur, whose enterprise is reliant on successfully reproducing a similar veneer of anonymity.

But with incogzito, the flashier the sunglasses, the better. Those aviator shades that are so popular with the kids these days will do nicely. Go for it.

Does someone acting in an incogzito manner have to be famous?

This is a difficult point, and the answer is "not always." Someone with a genuine motivation to operate incognito, eg. a famous baseball pitcher or a musician, has a much easier transition to the self-love and borderline-insulting haughtiness of incogzito simply because the contrast between expected and observed behavior is so clearly delineated.

Some guy off the street with nothing to lose, even in theory, may not be acting incogzito. He may just be crazy. This must be taken into account.

But if you could reasonably be expected to be trying to avoid attention, then flipping the script should certainly be an option open to you.

Where can I see incogzito in action today?

It's tougher than it used to be, what with Ashton Kutcher a house husband these days and the other celebrity trees pretty denuded of interesting foliage. Pretty much any movie star who goes out to buy coffee instead of sending their assistant because there's a new flick coming out and they need to make sure their photo is in the tabs is rolling pretty incogzito.

You see a lot of incogzito out of the clubbing set, the types that stand at their table and aim to mindfuck you into thinking they're somebody by acting very quietly. A relatively basic ruse, but it speaks to their state of mind.

Incogzito is a big part of the business tycoon's routine (not a Trump, more on the Jack Welch captain of industry side). Incogzito is rampant on the LES and in certain parts of Park Slope.

Suffice to say that if Omar brings home the bacon, there will be more incogzito along the No. 7 train route than there ever has been before.

"Hey, honey, look at that guy wearing a baseball jersey playing guitar and singing to himself underneath the overpass. Shhh, no, don't let him know you're looking at him ...."

I'm not unhappy about this. There will be intersting times. But let us not mistake what we are witnessing.

The Worst Coaches Money Can Buy

(Note: The debut column from our new writer Lou Monte appears immediately below Sip's post here.)

Sip here. Hope your weekend was better than mine

Before I get really angry, let me know take a moment to thank Lou Monte for joining the staff. It's pretty sweet that we could pull him away for Shea where we know he is tuning up for the middle of the 7th, opening day, 2007. That is, in case we decide to steal another popular song a la "Sweet Caroline," and make that our 7th inning song.

I have a personal goal to end the "Sweet Caroline" thing. That song was as big a contributor to our season falling short as any. It just oozed shitty karma.

Speaking of shitty.

New York sports.

All week, Salisbury and Co. on ESPN were knocking Eli Manning. It wasn't because he was missing throws or making mistakes, but the way that he handled himself on the field. Slouched shoulders, hands on head. You know, the classic "Manningisms."

(Nominee, Joke of the Year)

But as much as Eli is knocked we gotta take a look at Tommy Coughlin. "The disciplinarian" whose team is less disciplined than any in football, prances up and down the sideline like a little baby. He always looks like he is going to cry. He is always complaining. Not exactly a coach that exudes confidence on the sideline.

When I woke up this morning I thought about Coughlin and then I thought about coaches in New York City.

They all suck!

What happened to the Davy Johnsons and Bill Parcellsssss of the 80's?

Or the Pat Rileys and Mike Keenan's of the 90's?

In an era of salary caps where the coach does not count against the cap, and an era where New York has more money and more advertising potential for any coaching candidates, how is it possible that our coaches are as bad as they are?

1. Tom Coughlin

For the reasons above I don't like the guy. The guy's shtick is discipline yet his team seems to be more penalized and make more bonehead plays than any Giants team I can remember.

I never thought it could get worse than last season's shutout loss to the Panthers, until the Tennessee game.

But this guy's team has completely given up on him.

Jeremy Shockey tried to singlehandedly put the Giants and their crowd on his shoulders last night. His effort was commedable.

And while last night's game was just a tough loss, I am going to blame the coach because I hate him.

Coughlin will be gone in 2 months. If the Giants somehow make the playoffs, well, that would be a joke.

Charlie Weis '07. It's a nice idea.

2. Joe Torre

The most overrated coach/manager of all time. He received all of the praise when they were winning in the 90's, yet receives none of the blame when they lose in the postseason, 6 straight years.

With a team better on paper and paid twice as much as any other team, it is the manager's job to make them work on the field, massage egos and most importantly, win.

He has gotten them to the postseason. So could sweet Lou Monte.

But he hasn't it since 2000. It is shocking that he hasn't been canned. Either way, I look forward to another season of Joe Torre naps and stupid soundbytes.

3. Willie Randolph

Willie is OK in my book. But I need the guy to develop a little more of a presence. It seems like his two things are maintaining a loose clubhouse, which he does a great job of,

and

Going with his gut.

(RIP DOUGIE)

Willie has made it very clear that he doesn't care what the media or the fans think. Willie is going to do what Willie wants to do.

My take is that Willie it trying to prove that he is bigger than New York, that he is bigger than the pressure and bigger than the media.

For some reason it all seems a little phony to me.

I don't know. The guy got me a postseason, and for that I love him. And if I sound harsh, I am sorry, but in 2007, I hope that Willie acts a little bit more in the team's best interest and a little less for Willie's Mojo.

4. Tom Renney

I'll be honest. I was pretty sure this was his name, but I did double check. Hockey is just a sad state of affairs.

The NHL ranks after "Auto" and "Nascar" as the top sports on ESPN.com

All I can say about Renney is this: He needs to get the puck to Jagr.

I just counted in my head and I can name 6 Rangers. How many can you name?

5. Isiah Thomas

Then there is my main man Isiah. Saturday night's loss to the Toronto Raptors was just pitiful. It was the coming out party for Y2K legend Jorge Garbajosa, half Charles Oakley, half Vlade Divac and half child singer Raffie.

Isiah is definitely the worst exec of our generation.

I am curious for you older folk if you can remember a worse exec of all time.

Apparently my great-uncle Oscar once owned the Milwaukee Braves, but sold them so he could buy a bunch of dry-cleaners. That is pretty bad.

But doing to the Knicks what this guy has done -- I think that is worse. I wouldn't want to own the Braves anyway.

But when you get a chance, take a look at some Orlando Magic blogs. They singlehandedly thank Isiah for saving their franchise (Steve Francis salary dump).

If Isiah isn't gone in 2008, I might find Jimmy Dolan and kill him. And did you know that Isiah is making around $7,000,000 this year. My stomach hurts.

So here we are. It is kind of sad. Can you guys name both the St. John's coach and the Seton Hall coach?

Where are the Lou Carensecas and P.J Carleisimos? The Mike Jarvis' and the Tommy Amaekers?

But seriously. In a city that has the big team in basically every sport they play in, how can we have such awful leadership?

Jimmy Dolan needs to up the cost of HBO by like 40 cents per customer, the Tisches need to grab a flight to South Bend, Willie needs a few less subs, hockey needs to become a sport and the Yankees -- I hope they keep Joe Torre. I like when they lose.

Vaya con dios,

Sip

10 Reasons Why Barry Zito Is Already My Favorite Met

(Note: Today's the debut for a new writer here at Y2K, Lou Monte. Lou's gonna be handling Monday mornings around here, and we're excited to have him on the team. Sip will be in with a post later this afternoon.

Also, readers, please be advised that 8 days from now we intend to have our new website up and running. Beginning Tuesday, Dec. 12, we will be available at www.yankees2000.com. As for now, still blogspot. Salt.)

Lou Monte here, with some good news to report. And it’s about goddamn time.

Ever since the sheer incomprehensibly Italian enthusiasm of my final, fatal post-“Take Me Out to the Ballgame” performance of “Lazy Mary” at Shea six weeks ago sent Yadier Molina into some strange daze that convinced him he could hit, I’d considered taking up retirement at the Swan and Dolphin Resort in Disney World, where the winter meetings are set to begin today.

But after smelling all the booze on those tabloid reporters and those even more horse-shit-wreaking rumors of theirs, I’ve returned to the Big Apple to tell Mets fans why there’s no reason to keep reeling from that one October night we all realized Aaron Heilman really only has two pitches, why there’s no reason to worry about getting burnt on the hot stove this week, why the 2007 rotation will be better than any since 2000. After all, Lou Monte’s got a new best friend.

He’s 28 and he’s chill – calls everyone “dude.” Name’s Barry. No worries, man. You’ll meet him at Shea soon. Omar Minaya’s gonna find as much cash in the next two weeks as it takes to make sure you do, because it’s literally the only thing he has to do – maybe that he can do – between now and July to keep you and Willie satisfied. And I promise you’ll dig him. Here’s why:

10. He’s just like you, me and Cowbell Man.

As the always solid reporting of Lisa Guerrero below tells us, Barry’s a real guy – rotten tomatoes in the fridge, severely amateur musicianship, the works.

Apparently, as old friend Lee Jenkins’ great piece in The Times today tells us, Barry’s stepped up the digs and his snobbishness a bit in the last couple years. But that’s just Scott Boras talking – and he’ll be doing a lot of talking this week, so best not to pay too much attention. Check out Lisa instead:



9. He hates stuffed animals.

Barry apparently made up a much-discussed story about traveling with stuffed animals as a “fun” storyline for ESPN. Good, because I hate stuffed animals too, and it means Barry knows how to work the New York media, the Cliff Floyd way.

He even had a playoff blog, though Cliff’s version this fall was one of the more heartbreaking uses of the diary form in the past decade. You’ll be much, much missed Uncle C.

8. He’s D.W.R. (Down with Rick).

Rick Peterson, who apparently always wears that pullover not to rock an old Sanitation Co. t-shirt under there John Franco-styles but to hold his stopwatch and notepad, knows Barry from back in Oakland. And we’re not talking any Victor Zambrano, fix-er-up love here.

Slick Rick’s been on the phone with this kid recruiting him for a year, trying to get him to complete a group of D.W.R. guys – starters with brains who will stick to The Professor’s game plan, who won’t make him feel so awkward touching them on the should every single time he visits the mound.

7. He’s not Steve Trachsel.

Mr. Four-and-a-Half-Hour-Game-Guaranteed always seemed to start every time I went out to Shea. Having Barry Zito locked up for six years means I don’t have to rely on a burnt-out, very not-D.W.R. boring fest for 15 wins a year.

6. He’s not Oliver Perez.

You’ve gotta love the worst game seven starter of all time for his stuff, but if 2007 is going to be the year of destiny Omar planned on it being when he arrived from the drudges of Montreal, the last thing Flushing needs is to rely on another reclamation project.

Having a lefty with proven stuff like Barry Zito locked up in the front of the rotation for 200 innings means Perez doesn’t have to be your No. 4 starter.

Instead, Mike Pelfrey will be fighting with him for the fifth spot (which Pedro will fill post-gardening/rehab anyway) instead of being traded for Javier Vasquez’s 5+ E.R.A. And that’s a big deal when you consider how deep the Phillies’ rotation could be next year.

5. He does yoga.

Lou Monte’s personal off-season favorite pastime (gotta blow those seventh inning stretch royalty checks somewhat appropriately) could’ve done El Duque a favor this past postseason.

So here’s hoping Barry can save Ray Ramirez’s staff some cheddar next season and be the team’s personal yogi. You know Pedro’s down. But between Zito’s pre-game bikram, SoCal pedigree, affinity for surfing and apparent curiosity for The Electric LoDuca Acid Test (see Question 7), his “zany” habits bring us to…

4. He’s probably a stoner.

It’s not just that 12-to-6 curve that’s loopy. Grant Roberts really wasn’t legit enough to hold down Tony Torasco’s short-lived cannabis clubhouse (also known as Bernard Gilkey’s Outfield Grass and probably short-lived because Jeff Weaver stopped by the Bronx for a bit).

Here’s hoping Barry can teach Jose Reyes how to calm down when he’s ahead in the count.

3. You know he’s gonna live in Manhattan.

What’s with the prissy Connecticut McMansion scene this team has going on? The Yankees have way too much dominance of New York City real estate, and I will not have Billy Wagner’s down-South nerves to blame. Bonus: The Wright-Zito roommate pair helps them save enough to pitch in for this year’s inevitable retirement present for Fonzie, and reminds us…

2. He’s a pimp.

It feels like far too long since the Mets have had a California dude who blasted some rock for his warm-up music and could wash away rumors of being gay as fast as he sidled up to the latest Playboy Playmate.

But Pretty Lou hasn’t hit up the Mets store for an authentic jersey since Monster Mike, and 75 is a much better number than 31.

1. He’s a No. 1 pitcher.

Barry may not necessarily be the ace Boras makes him out to be, but he’s gonna tear up weak N.L. hitting just as much as the Chris Carpenters and Brandon Webbs of the world long enough for Pedro and Tommy to come in and complete the best top of the rotation in the league.

Not since the Doc will New York have anticipated a young star pitcher’s arrival on a winning team so much.

Which means, with the way The Post is going these days, that not since Carl Pavano and Jaret Wright will a young pitcher in his prime have come to the city with such big expectations.

Which means, the way Omar’s got brass balls these days, that my dad can keep going on about Zito being the next Koufax and that he’ll still be my favorite Met when he starts opening day in April.

Knock on wood,
L.M.

Smooth Sailing

That Tom Glavine re-upped with our boys does not have me shocked. It has me happy and relieved, but not shocked. We were one of two teams that he wanted to play for and potentially the only of these two teams that wanted him.

But what does have me shocked are the figures of the deal.

1 year for $10.5 million dollars? Seriously?

It's like the smartest, most alert guy in baseball just hasn't been paying attention to what's been going on for the last month. AND, he wears sick sweater vests!

In a league where Gary Matthews Jr. is worth $10 million/per for five years and Adam Eaton is good for $8.2 million/per for three years, a guy like Tom Glavine, at age 40, is worth about $20 million dollars for one year.

The risk with Glavine is his age. There is a very similar risk with Matthews Jr.

But Glavine took 1 year while Matthews got 5 years.

When forecasting 2007, analysts and fans alike have to peg Glavine as once again a top ten pitcher in the National League. He did nothing in either the regular or postseason to suggest otherwise.

He is arguably the surest thing available on the entire pitcher's market -- and that includes Barry Zito, who has never proven that he can pitch in New York.

Yet he took the minimum 1 year deal at a pay CUT from his most recent salary.

It is all a bit baffling. It really is.

Glavine could have gotten $15 million to pitch one and only one season, I truly believe that.

Still, there are two resaons why this deal makes sense for Glavine.

1. By taking a discount, he is potentially freeing up cash for Zito. I am positive that Glavine had conversations with the organization about Zito just like he did with regards to Pedro a couple of years back.

And I am also sure that we will read about Glavine serving as team spokesman for the Zito negotiations sometime in the next week.

2. The Player option.

If Glavine pitches 160 innings, something that he has done for 19 STRAIGHT SEASONS, he gets a guaranteed player option for 2008.

It makes sense why Glavine would want to play in 2007. He will win his 300th game. He will get another shot at a title. He can grow with the organization that he has helped mentor.

But 2008 is another story. With 300 under the belt and hopefully another ring on his hand, Glavine is certain to retire.

If the Mets fall short, like in 2006, then Glavine would have to decide if he had the energy to go one more.

Either way, the ball would be in his court. Glavine would have total control. At age 40, I think that is all he may be looking for.

Welcome back Tommy. I am finally ready to lift the "Spy" nickname... almost.

Saturday also means it's NFL Time.

I literally jumped out of my shoes when I saw the Sports Guy's picks this week.

The one game that I really like, he picked the other way and the few other games that I found interesting, he also picked the other way.

1. Kc -5 or 5.5 @ CLEVELAND

I think KC is back and Cleveland is done. No way Cleveland stops LJ and with Trent Green back and #88 looking healthy, the offense should tick.

And the Browns don't score. Charlie Frye makes way too many mistakes and K2 and Braylon Edwards are pricks.

2. Colts -7 or 7.5 @ Tenn

I seem to be the only one with this one. But up until the 4th quarter last week, these still were the Titans. They came back against a poorly coached Giants team that made unlimited mistakes and was killed by injuries.

No OSI and no Strahan and Vince Young can get to the outside. This should be a different stotry with Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis at the Ends.

The Colts D relies on speed, they are getting their best DB back in Bob Saunders and with all the hype out of Tennessee, you know Peyton wants to take these boys to the farm.

I know Tennessee played the Colts well in INDY, but this game seems to me to have a bit more urgency.

BEARS -9 v Vikings

I know the Bears won't run on the Viking front 7, no one seems to be able to. But can the Vikings O put up a point on the Bears D, at Soldier Field, with the Bears coming off a loss.

This game is too many points for a play, at least in my eyes, but this has shutout written all over it. It is just a question if Rex can make a few throws.

And with the Sports Guy knocking Coldplay, the official rock band of Y2K, "Rex Grossman, huge Coldplay fan. It's all starting to make sense," I really want this one. It is so typical. This guy has to "knock" Chris Martin and co. to maintain his supposed "cool guy" persona with his many DUDE fans.

All I gotta say, Bill, is that no one is buying the cool guy routine. Word on the street is that athletes at your University used to throw you in garbage cans. I really think that the Coldplay might help you with some of those inner demons, if you weren't too "cool" to listen.

Vaya con dios,

Sip

Welcome Back, Tommy

(Note: Busy day here at Y2K. Below find pieces by Sip and Cheddar, as well as a second by A.F.O.M.G. all the way down.)

No word yet on whether he cried like a little bitch to John Schuerholz thereby providing fodder for the sequel to Built To Win (tentatively titled 2 Built 2 Win) but word out of Peter Gammons is that Tommy the Spy has finally decided to re-up with the Mets for another year. The one-year deal is said to be worth $11 million.

I mean, it's fine. He clearly hates his family, but that's really none of my business.

No, I'm relieved. There's no other way to put it. I completely agreed with Sip's post earlier, but what's the most important element, for me, about retaining Glavine comes down to his leadership position.

The guy exudes class and he's a winner. He's never been an overpowering pitcher, so he's had to rely on his wits in his career. For a long time that meant throwing balls three feet off the plate for strikes. Maddening enough as it was, you certainly couldn't blame him for doing so.

But then he traded in his Braves uni for one with the word Mets on the front (quick trivia question: Which Met voluntarily gave up his number when Tommy signed with the Mets? The answer can be found at the end of this post), and then something called QuesTec came along, and all of a sudden Glavine's old tricks didn't work so good anymore.

But he overcame that, and ever since he's been a second ace for this club, and more often than not the lone ace given Pedro's recent injuries.

I love the idea of adding Barry Zito. A lot of people are down on him, they say he's not worth the money, not worth the years. I just disagree. I expect the Mets to sign him and for him to thrive in the National League.

But one thing I never expected of Zito was for him to come here and lead the pitching staff, at leasat not in his first year. It's no fault of his own, and it doesn't mean I think he'll be unpopular in the clubhouse or anything, but the guy just doesn't have the same presence as Glavine does.

Zito strikes me as kind of a goofball. Dude loves photography, jamming along to Dave Matthews, and, evidently, talking to seals. Doesn't mean he can't come in and be a leader on this team, but I'm just much more comfortable easing him in with Tommy there to handle the press and the younger guys.

At the risk of talking about Zito as if he's already on the team, it'll be interesting to see who the Mets start Opening Day, Tommy or Barry. I think I'd go with the vet, particularly seeing as how we'll be opening in St. Louis. I want a guy out there who experienced last year first-hand.

I'm really getting ahead of myself though, April 1 is years from now. And with Zito or without Zito, I think we can all be happy that the worst we can do is to have Tom Glavine out there on Opening Day.

Welcome back, Tommy.

- A.F.O.M.G.

Super-secret trivia answer: Joe McEwing -- he was such a good little bitch. RIP Joe Mac.

Time to Sweat it Out

(Note: A piece by Cheddar Ben and a quickie by A.F.O.M.G. follow below. A.F.O.M.G. will be back with a post around 4.)

We could be two days away from disaster.

Over the weekend we will find out whether or not Tom Glavine will be a Met in 2007, a decision which may be the deal breaker for this entire season.

No Glavine and the rotation we send out in April, as it currently stands, is horrifying. I mean horrifying. I don't even know who would really be a part of it.

El Duque? Sure.

John Maine? Ok.

Oliver Perez? Yeah.

Brian Bannister? Hmm.

There is one word that can describe this rotation. BAD.

Glavine resigning is huge for the obvious reasons above. But the way I see it there's an added benefit to retaining Glavine: resigning Glavine will actually help the Mets in their quest to sign Barry Zito.

And so it begins. Barry Zito met with Texas on Thursday. Zito will break the bank. He is represented by Scott Boras and we all know what that means.

The minimum Zito will get is 5 yrs, $75 million. So Boras has two jobs for Zito.

1. To get him additional years and additional dollars
2. To put him somewhere where he wants to be.

Of the three likely targets, the Mets, the Cubs and the Rangers, it does not seem like Zito would have a preference.

He has previous relationships with both Mets pitching coach Rick Petersen and new Rangers manager Ron Washington. As for Chicago, it seems like it may be the newest "manlaw" that if you are going to get paid a lot, it has to be from the Cubs.

In the end, unless one of Zito's California teams steps up, Zito will go where the money takes him.

Now imagine a Mets pitching staff without Tom Glavine. You could not paint a more desperate picture. Zito would be the Mets' single fallback, the only way to put a team on the field worthy of postseason contention.

You don't think Scott Boras would see that and totally exploit it? Boras must be praying that Glavine signs with Atlanta. He would want to put his client in New York, all agents do and in a negotiation with the Mets he would have every ounce of leverage. 6 yrs, $100 mil. Seems about right.

But now put Glavine in the Mets rotation.

From the Mets' end, we don't NEED Zito if Glavine is in the mix. The rotation will be weak but not dreadful without him. He sure would look nice in orange and blue but not if we had to break the bank.

From Zito's end, the picture is also brighter. Zito has been a winner his whole career and would love to keep winning. Going to the Mets, with Glavine, would put him in a winning situation. He could go to New York and play for a winner. A pretty nice combo.

And in this case, Zito loses a massive amount of leverage over the Mets, and therefore he can not take the Mets to the cleaners. Don't get me wrong, Zito would still get paid handsomely by the Mets. But there would be a ceiling, make no mistake.

We are in a scary position here, team.

We are either going to land two great LHP for relatively decent contracts or otherwise land none or maybe 1 at an exorbiant contract.

So this weekend is huge for the Mets.

We need Glavine back. It will save this season. And it could save many seasons to come.

Vaya con dios.

Sip

The Lineup

(Note: A quickie from A.F.O.M.G. follows below. Sip will be in with a post around noon and A.F.O.M.G. will take you home around 4.)

Slow week for the Mets, and given the insanity going on outside the castle walls, that's just fine, you know? Better them than us. It's a jungle out there.

Here, then, is a list of my top five newsmakers this week, lineup card-style.

1. #2 Dave Dellucci LF

Holy shit, a halfway sensible signing for reasonable money. A decent outfielder with good pop for $3 years/$11.5M? Way too normal.

Has the SEC been notified? Get Spitzer on the case right now. I don't care if he's unpacking in the governor's mansion, damn it! Somebody is getting away with a reasonable free agent deal!

That somebody was Indians GM Mark Shapiro, who took a decent OF off the hands of the clueless Phillies on the cheap for the second year running.

Jason Michaels didn't work out as a full-time player, but the Dellooch should do fine -- good rate stats (.292/.369/.530) and a nice eye, even as Charlie Manuel inconceivably scrounged for ways to get Abe Nunez and Jose Hernandez into games.

2. #92 Michael Strahan DE

If anyone missed the photo of an angry Giants defensive end berating the media in Thursday's New York Times ... well, it's right below.

Look, I know this blog is mostly populated by fans of the G-Men, so I don't want to dwell on last Sunday's, ahem, game, or even on the locker room meltdown that's been occurring this week out in East Rutherford. That's not very sporting. It's not cricket.

(Although I would be remiss if I didn't point out the comeback kid emerging from his shell up in Buffalo. Hello, J.P. Losman, and welcome to the NFL! All I'm saying is that if you had to pick any quarterback from the first round of the 2004 draft, well, you might not want to go with the famous one.)

Anyway, my point is that Strahan is a big deal -- endorsements, media engagements, etc. So, when he unlocks the crazy vault for the benefit of the outside world, does that fall under the rubric of "No press is bad press?" Or is his publicist chewing him out on the phone after practice for the next two weeks?

He does have a publicist, right? I'm going to be wondering about this for a while.

3. #1 Shawn Carter CEO

I'm looking at my copy of Jay-Z's new album "Kingdome Come" right now, sitting on the corner of my desk. I've listened to it the whole way through twice now. It's just not very good. There are about four good songs, and the rest is filler. Bleh.

(The new Game and Clipse, on the other hand, are out of this world. Moving on.)

AFOMG didn't like "Show Me What You Got," the busiest lead single since "Bachman-Turner Overdrive II" hit record stores back in '73, and I agreed with him. I can't find much to really care about.

Of course, I'm mostly alone there, since the album opened at No. 1 with Jay-Z's biggest sales week ever. It was his ninth No. 1 album in history, tying the Rolling Stones for third most No. 1s by an artist. Almost 700,000 folks bought this mediocrity, including me.

Baseball and rap music, more alike than anyone imagined.

4. #25 Kei Igawa LHP

Hah! The classic Yankees overreaction arrives at last! Oh, you tried your best, sweethearts, but when push came to shove, you couldn't hold back.

Steinbrenner and the Tampa crew made Cashman bid $25M for the right to negotiate with a pitcher whose upside -- upside! mind you -- is that of a No. 4 starter. If everything breaks just right, they'll have a poor man's Ted Lilly (Ted Lilly being available as we speak).

His fastball barely touches 90. His curveball was alternately describes as "O.K.," "pretty good," and "middle of the road." He's slight of frame.

This should work out just fine. No, don't worry about it. No inordinately expensive Japanese pitcher has failed in pinstripes before.

5. #89 Talinn, Estonia BS

Big week for the tiny nation of just under a million and a half hardy souls. You've got your US Presidential visit, always a big deal with the peasants.

You had a showcase for the capital city of Talinn, a place where I'd actually like to visit someday, as strange as that may seem. It's one of the most well-preserved old cities in Europe, an old Hanseatic League port, lot of cool stuff.

You've got a spat with the Russians about a new plan to ban all Soviet symbols from being dispayed. A little censorious, and not the smartest idea to pick a fight with the guys who know how to radiation-poision your sushi from 600 paces, but I see where you're coming from.

But the kicker came during Bush's visit, when he kept eagerly touting the fact that Estonia has a flat tax. Now why, pray tell, did the nation choose to adopt this utterly regressive system?

The flat tax, as it turns out, was the brainchild of the former prime minister, Mart Laar. Mr. Laar was inspired by the only economics book he had ever read, Milton Friedman’s paean to capitalism, “Free to Choose.” Believing, erroneously, that the flat tax had been put into practice throughout the West, Mr. Laar introduced it to Estonia. This year, the Cato Institute, a libertarian policy organization, gave Mr. Laar its “Milton Friedman Award of Freedom.”

A country run the way it ought to be. Kringel for everyone!

Don't Say I Never Did Anything For You

This time of year can do funny things to a baseball fan. As Mets fans, we spend our time on the message boards over at MetsGeek or by constantly refreshing ESPN.com to see if Tom Glavine's made his final decision about next year.

And I'm not taking anything away from any of that. But in case you need a break from the monotony of the above, well, give this little reaction game a try.

No matter how many times I try I can't seem to get over the Bobbing Bobcat hump. I hate this stupid game!

Incidentally, would you think less of me if I told you that in my desperation for Mets-related news I've converted the reaction ratings as follows:

Turbo-charged cheetah = Jose Reyes
Rocketing rabbit = Thrilledge
Bobbing Bobcat = David Wright
Ambling Armadillo = Julio Franco (That's right, Franco. The old-timer had 6 swipes this season.)
Sluggish snail = Jason Phillips (Gogs!)

Enjoy. (And if you hate this game as much as I do, well, you can blame my friend Pootsum.)

- A.F.O.M.G.