Monday Night Salt

Things have been going great with this site. I enjoy writing, AFOMG makes my nonsense somewhat readable and it's nice being involved with something you're passionate about with a friend who shares a similar passion.

It takes a lot to bother me in regard to this site.

Sure, if the numbers are down, which hasn't been the case in a while, I am upset. (Keep up the good reading and keep up the word-spreading).

The occasional comment from an unhappy reader gets to me a little, but usually I can shake it off.

Not until Monday, when I checked the comment board did I get truly angry:

Sudoku Puzzle said...
Have you already heard about Sudoku? It's a japenese logical game. On Daily-Sudoku-Puzzle, it's very easy and free: you can play online with colours, print ...The rules are very simple. A short animation explains in 1 minute how to play :

Some fucker was spamming a game that I truly hate, on our baseball site. I coudn't get this out of my head all day.

I hate Sudoku, the puzzle game where you have to align a bunch of numbers. I can't explain why I hate it I just do.

So today we embrace 10 things (in no particular order) that I despise. In honor of the time when I'm writing this, we'll call it Monday Night Salt.

Note: I purposely saved 24 for after I have written the column to put me back in a good mood.

10. Yankee Fans

The worst in the world. For every person who is a lifetime Yankee fan, there are 100 that claim to be.

Every asshole from the midwest that moves to New York and gets a job anywhere on Wall Street becomes a Yankee fan.

I was sitting in the Park Ave Country Club one night (owned interestingly enough by my pal who messed up my shoulder) where there was a table of 8 really nerdy bankers. I'm not normally one to judge, to each his own.

But then it got to me. It was some game, I think it was the one against the Devil Rays where the Yankees overcame like an 8 run lead in the 8th inning.

Sure it was exciting and I was glad to see the phony Yankee fans smile. I like smiles.

But then I heard it. The little Indian kid in the bunch (no disrepect to the real Sippy) spit it out: "Ok, I'm definitely a Yankee fan now."

To which the fellow geeks all applauded.

This is NYC's worst in a nutshell.

Really made me sad.

Plus how can you truly root for A-Rod.

9. Those little mesh slippers w/ the flowers on the front

Seems like most girls, including all awful Jewish girls have these and I don't know why. They are really, really ugly.

On top of that it looks like they are made out of cardboard.

Did I mention they are really ugly? They make me yearn for the days when Uggs were the hit.


8.Negators

Just wanted to throw in a 90210 reference here. Back when Kelly Taylor was under the influence of a cult led by the evil Patrick Finley, it was negators that would block her progress.

Well I don't like people blocking my progress, so to all you negators out there. Salt.



7. Pittsburgh Steeler Fans at Blondies

I'd have no reason to hate this team except that their fans overrun my favorite bar every Sunday. The putrid noise of their fight song, "Here We Go", which happens to be really catchy, still irks me.

Plus, how is that everywhere you go in the country, there are 10 Steeler Bars overflooded with Steelers fans?

Is Pittsburgh that big of a city?

Has it had a meaningful athlete since the days when Andy Van Slyke, Bobby Bo and Barry Bonds were tearing up the NL?

It all just confuses me.

Either way, there was not a better moment this year than after the Steelers lost to the Ravens and a drunken fired up J Schubes went into the main room of Blondies ready to take on all of Steelers Nation.

That was the closest I was to pissing my pants since the days of "Not the Coffee Shop" with cousin.
On that note, you should all rent LAUDERDALE. It was the first Cinemaxesue soft core porno to circulate around the Sippy Momo family and was recently purchased for my cousin, 2 copies, for his wedding.

6. The Seattle Seahawks

I can't imagine a less interesting Super Bowl team. At least the Steelers have Ben Roethlisberger. Is there a single player on Seattle that non-Seahawks fans root for? There just can't be.

Unless for some reason you love dudes named Lofa.

But seriously, can people not from Seattle or Alabama like Shaun Alexander? He doesn't blow you away with anything. He is just really good. AND BORING.

Still, for those interested, you're geting +600 on Shaun to score the first TD in the Super Bowl. For those who don't like the line but are looking for a reason to make a play, this could be your value. Have a look.

5. Girls who have best friends named Lindsay who are amazing

This kind of goes back to the awful Jewish girl thing, but doesn't it seem like they all have best friends named Lindsay, who are AMAAAAZING?

First off, I don't think I know single girl named Lindsay who is amazing, nor can I imagine that there are that many amazing Lindsay's out there.

It may just be the case that every single "Amazing Lindsay" in the world went to one of Michigan, Wisconsin, Indiana or GW, which would explain how I managed to miss out.

But to all my male readers out there, I don't know too much about women, but my one piece of advice is to stay away from all girls who claim to have a friend like this.

Not Lindsay herself, but the girl that thinks Lindsay is amazing.

4. Dudes who wear blazers out at night

Maybe if you are coming from work or you are really into that emo look with the blazers, but otherwise it is just too much.

Unless you are married you should not be wearing blazers out at night and married people shouldn't be out at night at bars (no disrespect Chipper, I know you and Mom like the occasional cocktail).

It just makes all the non-blazer people look underdressed even though the odds are that you're in a place that doesnt warrant a blazer one bit.

3. Diehard Knicks Fans that don't understand the salary cap and don't understand why the Knicks make me so sick.

Not trying to sound like a sports snob here, but I guess it will come off that way no matter what.
There are so many Knicks fans out there who love everything about the team but don't understand the business of the game.

They assume (most likely because they are Yankee fans) that when LeBron becomes a free agent in a year and change that the Knicks will outpay everyone and get him.

Not the case.

Isiah Thomas has probably done the worst job in the history of all business (I was an Economic History major, this was my go to).

It's not that I hate the Knicks, it is just I hate him and the whole Knicks/Yankees moron culture so much that I have sworn off Knicks basketball.

For the Happy Will's out there who are knowledgable and just more loyal to the team, I mean no disrepect to you. You stay happy.

2. Temple

Now I'm not real religious at all. I usually go for an hour and change on the three holidays to please the folks.

I just think it is so damn boring.

It also bothers me that a room of people who don't all believe in god are praying to him.

For those like my pops that just find the experience peaceful, I think that is great. It is for that reason that I go to Shea all the time or to the same extent listen to Coldplay. They calm me down.

But for people there without a true purpose, I think it is kind of disrespecful to those who are there for something important to them who are looking to share that experience.

For all you Chrisitians out there, at least your reception is in English, except for the Catholics some of the time.

1. That second after 24 is done and your adrenaline has died down and you realize that you have a full 167 hours until you get to see the old girl again.

As many of you may have figured out by now, I swear by Jack Bauer and 24. It's truly the best. But that one minute when you know you are at the point in the week that is furthest from next week's episode is like poison to the veins.

It's like that point at a Casino where not only have you lost all your original money that you took out, but you've also lost the money you took out after you lost your entire first withdrawl and are flat broke.

You need to get back on that table and win it back. But you can not. You are hopeless. You have zero resources and you are rendered helpless.

It kills you cause you need more and just can't have it. It is Cold Turkey at its worst.

So there you have it. From those mesh slippers to Yankee fans to temple, the 10 things that really piss me off.

You might call them the Anti-Keanu's.

VCD

SM

RIP The Monster

This weekend marked the end of Mike Piazza's career in a Mets uniform.

It wasn't a surprise by any means. Indeed, it was pretty evident that the Monster wouldn't be back even in the first few weeks of the offseason. Omar Minaya seemed pretty intent on moving in a different direction, and at the time the conventional wisdom was that Piazza would leave the Mets for the greener pastures of the American League where he would prolong his career as a pinch hitter.

All along, the media reported that a return by Piazza was viewed by both sides as a last resort, the kind of pact you make with a long time best friend of the opposite sex if you're afraid of dying alone -- if no one else comes calling, we'll agree to call each other. Fans of the Julia Roberts vehicle "My Best Friend's Wedding" will be familiar with this arrangement.

Most Mets fans aren't familiar, I'm sure, but so long as Piazza was without a contract for next year, there were always going to be that cross section of the Mets fan-o-sphere that pined for a return by No. 31.

All hopes of that happening were dashed yesterday, officially at last, when Piazza signed a 1yr, $2 million contract with the San Diego Padres with a mutual option for a second season.

For the first day in almost 9 years, Mike Piazza is no longer a Met.

Today, I wanted to spit off the top 5 most memorable Monster moments/quotes. It's kind of sad to see the guy go, but it was right for the Mets and for him as well. The truth is that the guy probably would have been better served by getting a DH job somewhere, but hey, he wanted to be a starting catcher and from the looks of it he'll get that chance in San Diego, Doug Mirabelli not withstanding.

Before launching into the top 5 memorable Monster moments, I want to pay a different respect to Mike. I think it was a very classy move to sign with the Padres. Mike is going to retire a Met and go to Cooperstown as a Met. This guy didn't want to go to Philadelphia to play for a rival.

He wanted to play baseball but also to respect the team that he loves. In the days when Johnny Damon is signing with the Yankees, Monster's decision to go somewhere away from the rivalries deserves our appreciation. This guy was a great Met and a great person and he will be missed.

So now, the top 5 Monster moments.

5. Mike Piazza's comments in regards to the possible acquisition of Juan Gonzalez back in the winter of 2001.

In an article in November 30th's New York Post Mike was quoted:

"How awesome would he look in pinstripes?" Mike Piazza told the New York Post, referring to the Mets' pinstripes. "That big hulking body with his freaking King Kong arms. I love that guy."

Everyone was always concerned about Mike's sexual preference (see No. 3 on this list) so it was only fitting that at the peak of people's suspicions the Monster would spit out this fabulous one liner.

The only thing comparable would be if "Brokeback Mike" went to Willie after the season and weaped, "I wish I knew how to quit you!"

Nonetheless, Mike went on to marry a playmate, so the man is doing OK and it seems that he is just far more comfortable with his sexuality than most.

4. NLCS 2000.

The Mets were playing the Cardinals in the NLCS and the Monster, fresh off his best season as a pro, was struggling in the postseason.

The man knew he needed to step up and he did with a huge double. As it is apt to do, FOX had a mic on a member of the Mets' coaching staff, John Stearns, who responded to Piazza's two-bagger by shouting out repeatedly...

"The monster is out of the cage!"

Mike took us on his back and brought us to our first World Series since 1986. That may have been the best week of my life.

3. May 22, 2002

Responding to a report in the New York Post that indirectly suggested he was gay, the Monster held an on-field press conference to refute the rumors. The following is a transcript of Piazza's statement:

"Well, I'm not gay. The truth is that I'm heterosexual and date women. And that's it."

He then took questions, it was pretty hilarious.

Perhaps the best part of the whole thing is that in researching this entry, I discovered one individual posting on the Fark.com message board under the alias "ToeCutter". ToeCutter wrote the following:

"all you bastards who think he's gay probley just hate the mets, cause the mets are going to win the world series. LETS GO METS LETS GO METS."

I know what you're thinking, and no, I don't know whether Steamin' Mikey Lehman is ToeCutter either. What I do know is that ToeCutter was in for a whale of a disappointing end to his season, as the Mets finished 75-86, 26.5 games behind whichever team was in first place that year. Oh right, it was the Braves.

Everyone had a good laugh at the Monster's expense in the summer of 2002, but Piazza got the last laugh when he married a former Playmate, Baywatch babe, and all-around biscuit in early 2005.

2. June 30, 2000

I remember this game unlike any other. I still have the ticket stub in my wallet.

The Mets entered the 8th inning down 8-0 in the middle of a huge rivalry game against the hated Atlanta Braves.

This was the heart of the Chipper and Rocker hatred.

This was the biggest June series in my entire life as a Mets fan.

So the Mets started to come back. Down 8-7 with 2 outs left in the inning, Mike Piazza drove a 1-1 Terry Mulholland fastball over the left field wall.

The ball never got higher than 10 feet off the ground and left the park in the flash of an eye.

I stood there, jumping in intense euphoria with Old Chipper and AFOMG.

The Monster trotted down the first base line and gave a heroic fist pump that I can still visualize perfectly.

This was the game that defined that season.

1. September 21, 2001

NYC and the entire country were coming off the terrorist attacks of the WTC and Washington. Baseball, our national pasttime had a different meaning. It was a game that we all love that we needed to help get our minds off the atrocity that had occurred a little over a week before.

In the first game in New York since the terror attacks the Mets were playing the Braves in a must win game. Of far more importance than the playoff race was the fact that we were the Mets and this was New York, the place that is often considered the center of the world, but at that time, was even more important.

Down 2-1 in the bottom of the 8th, a loss being enough to destroying the Mets' hopes and a city and country on his back, the Monster delivered a 2 run home run.

The Mets won the game 3-2.

This homerun meant so much. It gave New York and the sports world a hero at a time when people were looking for any sort of inspiration possible.

After having suffered its biggest lost, New York got back a very small but extremely symbolic win.

Mike, we wish you the best, we are really going to miss you.

I'm psyched to have the Monster in SF 9 times this year.

When he's back at Shea, I can't wait for the man to get the love that he deserves.

For all you 24 fans, check this site out:

http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty

Kind of a rip on all the chuck norris talk, but funny nonetheless.

VCD,

SM

The Greatest Meeting of My Life

So I'm at a swanky restaurant in SF Thursday night. It was a buddy's birthday so we were doing it up nice.

We're sitting there eating our entrees when I look over to the bar and I see Jesus himself. Well not Jesus, but the closest thing these Jewish eyes have ever seen.

There he was, Johnny Utah himself, Keanu Reeves.

Normally I'm not the type to approach someone like this, it's just not my thing. But after the incessant nudging of big Maciej, I had to do it. Here was my hero, 20 feet away. I couldn't let this one go.

So I went over.

Turns out the dude is the nicest guy in the game. He sensed my nervousness and offered me a drink.

"A drink for Sippy Momo," I thought. "With Keanu fucking Reeves."

I felt like Wayne and Garth when they met Alice Cooper. I truly wasn't worthy.

So I went for it.

"Mr Reeves," I said. "You're a hero to me and my good pal Nick the Voice. I write this daily column (never use blog with celebs) and was wondering if I could catch a few minutes of your time."

"No problem, brother," he responded.

So there it was, live from French Laundry in San Francisco, SM and Keanu.

SM: First off, let me say, this is my Graceland.
KR: Haha, thanks.

SM: So we at Yankees2000 consider "Point Break" to be one of the greatest films ever to hit the screen. How'd you feel shooting that movie?
KR: Well you knew right away that it was an awesome script. Johnny Utah was just one cool dude, bro. I knew there was something there.

SM: Damn right. Johnny Utah is the greatest character to hit the big screen.
KR: Thanks, bro, I mean that.

SM: But you really made it big with "The Matrix". I've seen the movie upwards of 100 times. How did it feel to play god?
KR: Well it was pretty damn cool. Neo was radical to play. I don't really know how to describe it. It's like the first time I caught a break in "Point Break". It's just a special feeling.

SM: I love the reference back to "Point Break". Thank you, Keanu. So we are a baseball site here. You did "Hardball", an emotional movie regarding an inner city baseball team. How'd you feel about that picture.
KR: I loved it. I love baseball, I really do. People think that I'm a surfer guy cause of "Bill and Ted" and "Point Break", but I'm all about America's past time.

SM: How did you feel when you found out they were killing off G Baby?
KR: Haha. Well I thought it was needed for the story, but it was sad. Little Dewayne Warren (played G Baby) was the best. It was sad to see him go, and I know he was really upset.

SM: That's show business for you. So who's your team in baseball?
KR: I don't really have one. I'm kind of into the Mets actually. I'm from Lebanon and me and their young player David Wright have some distant relatives from back home.

SM: No way.
KR: Haha, I bet you want me to say "way". Well way! So yeah, I like the Mets a lot. I'm also into the Dodgers cause of the whole Hollywood thing.

SM: Understandable. What are some of your favorite shows on television?
KR: I only really watch one. 24. Jack Bauer kicks ass.

SM: Reminds me a lot of Johnny Utah. Always gets his man
KR: Woah. Thanks, Sip. But I could never compete with Jack Bauer.

SM: So humble.
KR: You should see the chicks I bang

SM: Do tell.
KR: I probably shouldn;t say, but lets just say that back me and Swayzee were filming the Break, things were good. They were really god.

SM: And you deserved every piece of tail that you could get. Can I hear you just drop one memorable line from "Point Break". It would really make my life.
KR: Which one?

SM: I'm putting you on the spot here.

And that's when he said it. It couldn't have been more perfect, until he said it.

KR: I am an F. B. I. agent.

SM: You just made my world. Nothing can ever top that Keanu. Best of luck in the future and keep on making amazing movies.

So nothing will ever top that. People shit on the man but all he does is make amazing movies. In person, he was nicer than he seems on the big screen.

Life is good.

In the truest way, Vaya con dios.

SM

The only thing worse than being a Mets fan

So being a Mets fan is one of my proudest feats. I love the team, Shea, baseball, and most importantly, I just love talking baseball with my friends.

Be that as it may, as much as I love the Mets, they have caused me a ton of pain.

Losing the World Series the way they did, with the monster hitting a ball that from section 5 of the upper deck looked out, really did kill me.

Those endless blown saves by Johnny be Good, Armando, The Poops and what inevitably will be B Wags killed me.

The Braves constantly dominating us kills me.

But let me tell you, the Warriors fucking kill me.

I just got back from the game, a solid 102-93 loss at the hands of the Dallas Mavericks. The Warriors of course were up by double digits in the 2nd quarter and were holding Dirk and Jason Terry in check.

But of course they blew up.

Every single game they play is straight out of a movie. In the movie, however, the good news is that we always have a way of rooting for the team that comes from behind to eventually win the game, or at worst the team that learns a valuable lesson in life no matter what the scoreboard reads at the end.

In the former scenario, the Warriors are the other team, the one that the team you're pulling for miraculously beats.

They always lose, and I'm not invited to the team meetings where life lessons would get discussed.

They kind of remind me of Permian High in "Friday Night Lights". There is no way you expect that they are going to lose that game, so when they finally do, it is extra salt.

You don't lose in movies.

Well you don't lose games that you should win. Unless you are the Warriors.

This all makes me feel like Mets fans are destined to lose. There is no team that I root for that wins. Sure the Giants look good, but that team sucks.

UGA lost the most painful bowl game I've seen in some time.

Everything that I root for loses.

Is this me? Am I jinx?

I don't know what it is.

I think the thing is that I kind of like being around misery. Well not misery, but depression.

My favorite band is Coldplay. I like sitting in my room with the lights out and the sweet sounds of Chris Martin whispering into my ears.

I know this is weird. God dealt me a pretty decent hand and I live a really good life. But for some reason I like the blend of happiness and sadness. I dig the mixture of emotion.

I think that is why I love the Mets so much. They are happiness and sadness. They are great and they suck. They just are the Mets. All Mets fans know what I am saying.

Which makes me think, what would happen if the Mets actually won it all?

This isn't a mere retread of the oft-speculated conundrum facing Red Sox fans the in 86 years leading up to 2004. You must have heard someone ask what this group of perpetual losers, perpetual underdogs whose very identity was wrapped up in the fact that they never won, would do if and when they finally won the World Series?

At the end of the day, the Sox fans still love the Sox, even if maybe it's a little different now (whether it is or isn't I really can't say to be honest with you). What I do know, however, is that when I was young and the Rangers won the Cup, I basically stopped liking hockey.

I loved hockey growing up.

The first sporting event I ever went to was a Rangers-Sabres game that the Rangers lost 5-3 to the sweet sounds of "Sabres Suck!"

So what if the Mets finally win? I don't mean make the playoffs or win a series or two. I mean win the whole fucking thing.

I don't really know what it would do to me. So much of what I love about the Mets is how bad they are and how bad they've been. That brings the team a charm that no winning organization can really have.

It's pretty much impossible for me to conceive of life without the Mets, so I'm not worried that I'll go cold turkey on them if somehow they manage to win a championship someday. But it would change things. That perverse thrill of being the underdog would be gone, and once it's gone, it takes a lot of long and painful years to get it back.

There's a reason we rooted so hard for Rocky or for Jake Taylor's/Rick Vaughn's Indians. And yeah, we still loved them after they won their respective titles, but things couldn't help but feel a little different after that -- I guess that's why movies have rewind buttons, though.

We don't have that luxury of course, so all we can do is soak up this feeling while it lasts and imagine what it'll feel like to wake up a week after the Mets finally win one. Will it still feel the same? I like to think it will, but I worry that it won't.

Anyway, I'm sorry if this sounds like a rant. I'm really pissed off about this loss tonight. This team has way too much talent to lose games like this. Sounds familiar.

VCD

SM

Los Nuevos Mets?

(Note: Hey guys, double the dose today. Here you can find A.F.O.M.G.'s column "Los Nuevos Mets?" Below is Sip's piece "Say It Ain't So, Monster... But Can We Really Complain?" A couple of definite must-reads. Enjoy.)

Before I launch into this, allow me to get one thing out of the way. I normally hate Bob Raissman's "Tuning In" column in the New York Daily News.

For those unfamiliar with Raissman's work, a little background. Every Sunday Raissman is given a personal forum to gripe about any and all broadcasting gaffes that have occured in the past week. Now I understand why a column like this exists in theory -- sometimes you've gotta take those media guys to task (by gum, that's what I'm doing right now!). So it's not the concept behind "Tuning In" that irks me, it's that Raissman insists on targeting sports talk radio hosts.

Indeed, it's almost a sure thing that I wouldn't hate Raissman's columns so much if they stuck to criticizing basically everyone at ESPN or FOX Sports.

As friends like Sip and Mr. Glass know all too well, I sort of despise every piece of non-Baseball Tonight programming on ESPN. Yes, even SportsCenter. I'm hardly the first to say this, but the SportsCenter of our youth is gone, replaced by Old School-Nu Skool (note, one of those o's should have an umlaut above it for some reason) shouting matches that pit one moron against another.

Where witty hosts like Craig Kilborn and Keith Olberman once sat, today's talking heads seemingly exist to spout an endless barrage of of ridiculous catch phrases and nicknames for the sake of self-exposure and self-promotion.

As for FOX, geez, where do I begin? As if Tim McCarver weren't painful enough (note, I had been fairly indifferent to Joe Buck, but now I actually kind of like him because of those Budweiser commercials he did lampooning sports broadcasting's catch phrase fetish, ya know, "slam-a-lama-ding-dong!"), FOX insists on a series of completely inane in-game features.

Among them, a song during the 7th or 8th inning that distracts from the action on the field, which more often than not makes you want to tear your hair out. Other favorites include those catchy mechanical technology noises any time they display a scoreboard or other information-related convenience.

So that all makes me sick.

What doesn't make me sick is the banter of talk show hosts on New York's home for sports talk radio, WFAN, and yet it's the Fan that inspires 90% of Raissman's ink.

So why does this bother me so much? Like other Mets fans, I've got a soft spot for the Fan -- it's a part of my youth, it's a part of my life. But it's not kneejerk sentimentality that makes me defend it. It's that I respect the hosts immensely. They know what they're talking about and are so consistently solid that it's awe-inspiring on some level.

Think about it. These guys talk New York sports for hours-long stretches at least 5 days a week. If they slip up now and again, well, that's to be expected given the sheer volume of time they're on, and it's hardly worth harping on every little screw up.

But that's basically what Raissman's column does. He listens in on local radio, gripes about several on-air screw-ups that occur in a given week, and then basically dismisses sports talk radio, as currently constituted, as worthless.

So yeah, on the whole, I'm not a big Raissman guy, but every now and then he makes a good observation. His column in today's Daily News was one such occassion (link available here: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/story/385618p-327255c.html).

As we all know, the Mets have assumed a decidedly more Latin feel during the one-plus year(s) that Omar Minaya has been in charge. The Daily News reports that as GM of the Mets, Omar has imported a total of 15 players, 12 of whom were Hispanic. In the same period of time, Minaya has exported 15 players, all but two of whom were American or Korean (all were American, save the newly departed Jae Seo).

Before crying bloody murder, let's have a look at the players exported, with a little comment attached (note, Latin players have a * next to their name):

Mike Piazza -- diminishing skills, as much loyalty as we feel toward the Monster, it was the right move to not re-sign him.

Jason Phillips -- had killer goggles, otherwise not that good, was traded for Japanese pitcher Kaz Ishii, who sucked for us but was a worthwhile gamble.

Vance Wilson -- capable backup who would nonetheless not have done as well as Ramon Castro, as evidenced by his .197 average last year; traded for Anderson Hernandez, now one of our top prospects, which is either a credit to Omar or a sad commentary on the state of our farm system.

Mike Cameron -- fan favorite and all around great guy as far as anyone could tell, but he was unhappy playing out of position so trade was probably a matter of time; fact remains that Mets did not get optimal value for Killa Cam by anyone's measure so we'll list this as a potential sign of pro-Latin bias.

Al Leiter -- fan favorite with diminished skills, Omar decided to hand the ace's responsibilities to Pedro Martinez rather than to Big Al for another season; success of this decision is unparalleled in Mets history.

Kris Benson -- another potential sign of pro-Latin bias, Benson was traded this weekend for a reliever we didn't really need, diminishing the strength of our starting rotation and the number of slutty wives on the Mets at the same time.

John Franco -- casting away junkballer John Franco puts Mets fans out of misery until Opening Day when Braden Looper blows the first of 7 saves on the year.

Jae Seo -- although this trade looks a lot worse in retrospect given the Benson deal, at the time Omar was trading from strength to shore up the bullpen.

Joe McEwing -- the time had come, RIP.

Braden Looper -- see entry on Franco, John above and Wagner, Billy below.

Richard Hidalgo* -- a Latin player who was decent for us but did not deserve to be resigned, Hidalgo was let go.

Mike Stanton -- embedded Yankee who did everything he could to foil Mets' plans for success, and was traded for a juicer.

Mike DeJean -- sucked in year 2, everyone was glad to see him and his 6.31 ERA go.

Mike Jacobs -- budding superstar or trade bait? That's the question with Jacobs, who was shipped off for proven superstar Carlos Delgado as Omar shores up the team's biggest weakness.

Yusmeiro Petit* -- potential future Latino star traded for present Latino star, it was the right move.

Of these players, who do you really miss? Piazza, of course, but who else? Some people are going to say Jacobs, but those are the armchair scouts talking -- a trade for a premier bat like Delgado's made too much sense given the paucity of offense for the Mets, in general and at 1B in particular, last season.

Many of us miss players liks Big Al and Joey Mac, but the truth is that their time had come. They were fading players who needed to be replaced in order for the team to change its identity.

We'll examine the Benson and Cameron swaps shortly, but looking over the players let go reveals less a tendency toward Latin players and more a tendency toward replacing broken down parts.

Now let's have a look at the players Omar has brought in:

Paul Lo Duca -- Brooklyn native replaces Piazza as Omar spurns the premier free-agent catchers, Ramon Hernandez and Bengie Molina, both Latinos.

Ramon Castro* -- vast improvement over Vance and Gogs, extraordinarily clutch in 2005, popular guy in the clubhouse, nothing to dislike except, possibly, his extraordinarily ugly mug.

Carlos Delgado* -- premier available first base bat other than Paul Konerko, proven commodity in pitcher-friendly parks.

Carlos Beltran* -- premier free agent in 2005 offseason signed by Omar.

Xavier Nady* -- swapped for the popular but unhappy Cameron, this move doesn't make much sense, in fairness.

Endy Chavez* -- next.

Pedro Martinez* -- best free agent acquistion of our lifetime, Omar signs best free agent pitcher on the market.

Billy Wagner -- Omar signs best free-agent closer.

Jorge Julio* -- unnecessary move, potential sign of Latin favoritism.

Duaner Sanchez* -- move made sense at the time, makes less sense now.

Julio Franco* -- strong backup 1B to spell Delgado, RIP Doug Mientkiewicz.

Jose Valentin* -- next.

Chris Woodward -- strong utility infielder takes over for Joe Mac's place on the bench.

Anderson Hernandez* -- promising 2B prospect swapped for unnecessary Vance Wilson, Mets clearly get better end of this deal.

Juan Padilla* -- had excellent run in 2005 out of bullpen, will likely regress in '06 but could still be solid contributer.

So let's review. In his tenure as GM of the Mets, Omar has signed or traded for three premier players. Two of them are Latin, but to lob any criticism at Minaya for going after the best guys baseball has to offer is sheer insanity.

Omar has shown a willingness to sign the best players available regardless of race (Wagner), a willingness to let unproductive players leave regardless of race (Hidalgo), and an ability to avoid signing a Latino player (Molina, Hernandez) when he thought he could get equal value in a white player (Lo Duca).

So the theme of Omar's entire transaction history with the Mets is less Omar and the Nuevos Mets, and more Omar and trying to get the best of the bunch.

Yes, there are exceptions. Let's have a look at the Mike Cameron and Kris Benson deals, shall we? Regarding the former, it has been posited that the Cameron-Nady swap was primarily a salary dump orchestrated so as to give the payroll flexibility necessary to acquire Wagner and Delgado.

That's plausible enough, but ultimately we don't know what directives Omar received from the Wilpons regarding finances. Judging the move on its non-financial merits, the Mets gave up an unhappy (although not disruptive) player in exchange for a young guy with promise who figures to form a productive platoon out in right field along with Victor Diaz.

Yes, I think Omar should have held off on moving Cameron so as to squeeze the Red Sox or Yankees depending on how Johnny Damon played out, and no, I don't think Omar got optimal value, but I think if you look at the deal on its own terms and then factor in the finances possibility, it's a bit of a stretch to dimiss it as racially-motivated.

That leaves Benson. If there's any deal that could theoretically cast doubt on Omar's motives, it's this one. But hold up a second. Are we really ready to start slinging accusations of preferential racial treatment because of one dubious trade? How is that fair?
Those convinced of Omar's Latin machinations will point to the 18 Latin players now on the Mets vs. the 8 he inherited and cry A-ha! But if these moves improve the team, which all of them did rather unambiguously save the two mentioned above (granted, retroactively in conjunction with the Benson deal the Jae Seo deal also looks somewhat dubious), how can we accuse Omar of having a pro-Latin bias in good faith?

If the Mets had to go Latin to put the Art Howe dark ages behind them, who the hell cares? Let Omar give us the talent and let's us fans give Omar a break if that talent happens to be majority Latino. Nobody's giving Omar a free pass, mind you, because not all his moves were genius, and I'm not trying to earn any acclaim for being racially progressive, I'm just trying to make an appeal to everyone's good sense.

For a change, that's what Raissman did in his column, so like him I would call on Mike and the Mad Dog to cool it with the provocation on this score -- they'll listen to me, they sweat this blog.

Anyway, hat's off to Omar for drastically improving the 71-91 team he inherited. Now let's go get us another starter -- Zambrano scares the shit out of me.

- A.F.O.M.G.

Say It Ain't So, Monster... But Can We Really Complain?

So I quit my job as a litigation paralegal at Paul Weiss a few months ago. However, if there were a period for resigning paralegals, I can't imagine I would have been on the top of their short list.

I had lost my edge. I was a veteran who could no longer file with the best of them and appeared to have lost a step in regards to making it into work on time.

So I left. I wasn't forced out the door but truth be told I should have been. Paul Weiss allowed me to leave gracefully, on my own terms, and when the time came I knew it was time to retire.

Now imagine if I made my way back to New York and decided to reenter the paralegal game. Only Paul Weiss doesn't want me. I just felt the urge to put blue sheets of paper where staples are and carry boxes from records. But I can't go home. I can't return to the place where I became a superstar in the paralegal game.

So instead I chose to sign a 6 month contract at Skadden for 22k and the rights to their cafeteria. Hell, they were the only firm willing to give me a job.

Could I do it?

Could Nick the Voice, JD, and the crew ever look at me the same?

Could my thousands of fans accept my decision to keep paralegaling for the enemy?

I don't know the answer to this all.

And it is for these same reasons that I am not sure how to react to rumors that the Monster is considering signing with the hated Philadelphia Phillies to platoon at catcher with Mike Lieberthal.

I love the Monster. I really do. The guy was the face of our franchise for nearly a decade. And what a face it was...

OK, that picture is a little ridiculous, but we had to do it. It doesn't change the fact that the Monster iis basically the only superstar that we have ever brought in that played to expectations. Mets fans may remember booing the shit out of him when we first traded for him, but he stuck it out and became the centerpiece of the last great Mets teams, leading the club to the postseason in consecutive seasons for the first time in our history.

For those two years especially, Piazza brought the Mets to the top of baseball providing me and my friends with hours of excitement, happiness, and, yes, even some heartbreak.

Now he is long past his prime.

His arm remains subpar and his bat is now a shadow of its former fearsome self. While he remains one of the game's better offensive catchers, his throwing ability made it too hard to bring the guy back as our full time catcher.

It made sense that the Monster would pack his bags for the American league and spend the twilight of his career as a DH /backup catcher for a team in need.

That is how it was supposed to work out.

This, unfortunately, does not appear to be the way it will work out. AL teams, in particular the Angels, have lost interest in the guy and for now, much later than he probably expected would be possible, the Monster is homeless.

So Philadelphia appears to be an option.

What are we supposed to think?

I don't think we can be mad at the guy. He's looking for an opportunity to play the game that he loves and the Phillies are maybe the only team who are willing to give him a squeeze.

For our part, we can't decide to cast the guy off and then get mad at him when he winds up signing with one of the few teams that actually wants him.

Still, the thought saddens me.

The Monster has been here for as long as I have truly understood the game of baseball. He is the Mets.

I guess the only solace we can take in his possible departure to Philadelphia is that we would get to see him at Shea 9 times a year. That would give us 9 times a year as fans to give the man the standing ovation that he saw for pretty much all of the 2005 season. And deservedly so.

Now look, it's not a given that Piazza's going to end up in Philly. According to a report in today's New York Daily News, Carlos Beltran spoke to Charlie Samuels who spoke to Piazza himself who said that he expected to sign with an American league club, although, thankfully, "it almost certainly won't be the Yankees", according to the News' Roger Rubin.

All that about how we couldn't blame the guy for signing with a team that wanted him? OK, that wouldn't be true if the Monster put on the pinstripes. That'd deprive him of those standing O's and be a blemish on his Mets legacy.

If he ends up with Philly, however, do the right thing and cheer on the guy who gave you so much to cheer for over the past 8 years. He's earned it.

Vaya,

SM

A Little Trip to the Old Mailbag, Sip Style, and Man is Jack a Beast

This piece is dedicated to Cara from the Gauntlet. And to all my loyal readers, a Google search of this young lady may turn up some interesting reading.

So we are a few days removed from the Kris Benson deal.

I remain unhappy. The speculation that Jeff Weaver is the answer pisses me off. This is your classic "innings eater" who is a solid #3 guy who will get $10 mil per. That just doesn't interest me. When he was a $ankee a few years back he sucked and appeared unable to handle the pressure of the big city.

With that said, for those interested, take a look at this article from Metsgeek.com.

http://www.metsgeek.com/articles/2006/01/23/trading-disappointments

It really gives a solid review of the deal and is worth a read.

So it's been a while and I've been receiving a ton of your e-mails. For those out of the know, you can email me with any questions or comments at Sippymomo@gmail.com

It's good for the site so go ahead whenever you got anything.

MAILBAG:

The Hulk Wrote:

So Sip. I like the Mets offseason so far. I'm not crazy about the pitching moves of late. Where do you see Omar going with the rotation?

Well, Hulk, I think there is one solution to all our problems. Alton from the Gauntlet.

Holy mother of god this guy is amazing. The Sports Guy refers to him as maybe the greatest athlete to walk the face of the earth, and after Monday's Gauntlet I am pretty much sold. The dude pushed a truck with about 4 tons of people and machinery basically single handedly across a 100 yd field.

The dude is Superman and I'm sure he has a 150 mph fastball a la Sidd Finch.

The honest answer to your question, Hulk, is that I don't really know what is out there. As I said, Weaver is available. The Dodgers didn't want to give him 4 and 40 and for good reason. The guy isn't that good.

Would he sign an incentive-laden one-year deal at a somewhat reduced base salary to give himself a chance to earn a big contract after the 2006 season? It's definitely possible given that we're knocking on February's door.

Would it be worth it? For the right price, maybe -- I mean, how could he possibly be worse than Victor Zambrano? The trouble is that it may be difficult to find the right price with a guy like Weaver -- he's a guy who won 14 games on a team that finished 71-91, and he's a Scott Boras client after all. The team would probably be better off with Weaver as a starter and Zambrano in a long-relief/spot starter role, but I doubt whether his asking price is going to be anything we want any part of.

So that said, barring a blockbuster for Barry Zito which probably won't be possible until the trading deadline, I think we're looking at our rotation for '06 being Pedro, Tommy the Spy, Trachsel, Heilman, Zambrano. It's brittle towards the front and unproven toward the back. Our rotation was our strength going into the offseason and now it looks like it could be our thinnest area and maybe biggest weakness.

I am nervous.

Nails Wrote:

Your site jocks David Wright and for food reason. Where's the love for Jose Reyes, aka Mr. Glass?

We didn't forget about young Mr. Glass. And truth is, the kid can only get better. Early in his career, Johnny Damon had trouble walking and always had a relatively low on-base percentage only to mature into what he is today: one of baseball's smartest, most patient hitters.

Jose Reyes' numbers improved dramatically before and after the All Star break last year:

Before: .284 OBA, 49 K's in 87 Games
After: .320 OBA, 29 K's in 74 Games

True, these numbers are skewed by an incredible month of July, in which Reyes compiled a .355 OBP, but never mind that for the moment. Think positive. He could do it once, he could do it again. And again! And again!! All we can ask of this kid is to keep improving. The lineup behind him is very strong. If we can sneak that OBP to .340 then we have a lot to be excited about.

And my sincere apologies. We really do love Mr. Glass. The dude doesn't wear a cup because he doesn't like the way it feels against the old twig and berries, is constantly smiling, and begins every sentence with "What can I say?"

Good point, Nails!

SippyMomo Sr. wrote:

Well, Sip, 6 weeks in SF and you are still unemployed. All I get to tell my partners at the office is that my son writes a blog. Is this how I raised you? Seriously?

Well, Old Chip, you bring up some very solid and truthful points. My performance over the last little bit has not been up to Momo standards but I am coming along.

You'll be happy to know that I helped organize a trip to Vegas for Championship Week with all my friends that I spend hours each day talking gambling with.

The reason we chose it? Most games per hour of the year to gamble on.

Can you say late night poundings of WAC basketball?

Proud pops?

As Sean in "Good Will Hunting" so often said, "It's not your fault."

My response. Blame the Wife.

Cousin Ridiculous wrote:

Thoughts on the Super Bowl, Sip? Steelers giving 4 seems off.

Well, Cousin, first off, you'll be happy to know that my cousin nominated me for People Magazine's 50 Sexiest Cousins of the year award to which I was very flattered.

As for the line.

The early line in Vegas back in December had the AFC as a 10 point favorite. This line was set under the assumption that the Colts would cake walk their way into the Super Bowl.

When the Colts didn't make it, Vegas had made its boo boo. They set this line at Pitt (AFC) -4 to prevent (as much as possible) those who took the NFC +10 from middling the line.

Taking Pitt -4 after already having the NFC +10. These people would win twice if the AFC won the game at a score of between 4-10 points.

All this means is that the line is skewed. In my opinion, the game should at worst be a pick.

Still, I would not touch this game.

It is my opinion in sports gambling that you never bet on a game with two evenly matched teams. You just never know who is going to show up. If this line is 3 points on either side, still both teams could win.

Still, if youre looking for value in the line, play Seattle +4. It might not be the right play but it is the Value play.

Happy Will Wrote:

Thoughts on the New Season of 24?

So I won't say anything about Monday's episode for those who still havent watched it (salt) but again the show proves itself incapable of failing.

Well I will say something.

Jack is a badass that every girl sweats... sounds like someone else we know and love.

As I said, my botched LA Tivo forced me to watch it back in SF. 4 hours. Could you imagine getting ready for a 4 hour movie?

No chance at all.

But there I was, I sat down and had chills for the 3 hours and change that it was.

Seeing President Palmer die was a blow. I also think it was a terrble PR move to kill him off on MLK weekend.

Still, Jack is back, the bad guys have nerve gas, and we all have 20 more weeks of television euphoria.

I forced my roommate to watch season 1 on DVD. He watched 15 episodes today.

Something to keep in mind for those still off the wagon. I don't ask much of my you, but do this. It will make you happy or I will frost my tips like A-Rod.

That's all.

Hopefully our pal Booby Miles is doing well.

You want to win, put Sippy in, I spin.

VCD,

SM

Sippy's Reasons Why Not and Kobe F-ing Bryant

RIP Emily.



After one week in the show, about the same amount of time that AFOMG was donning the cleats of the Collegiate varsity baseball team in the Spring of 2000, one half of ABC's Sunday night lineup is no longer.

While Jake remains in progress, and why not, as OBF Cousin Jason so elequently said, "the show has uncle Jesse, and that's enough to get me to watch," Heather Graham's Emily's Reasons Why Not got the axe.

This in spite of the fact that, according to Y2k Hollywood insider Allan the friendly WASP, the show received the bulk of ABC's advertising dollars over the course of the fall season.

So what happened? Not really sure. I missed the show's 23-minute run. I do know what happened with Kris Benson and the NFL playoffs this weekend, and for these topics, I offer Sippy's reasons why I do and don't like both.

Kris Benson to the Baltimore Orioles for Jorge Julio and John Maine

Why I like:

1. John Maine could be a diamond in the rough. Again, according to cousin Jason, the only Orioles fan I know, Maine was one of the Orioles' better pitching prospects.

After Danny Cabrera and Eric Bedard, names you probably know, there is Hayden Penn and John Maine. He's our equivalent to Brian Bannister.

2. As Kenny from camp speculated, this move could be a precursor to a run at Barry Zito. Does Aaron Heilman, John Maine and another prospect (assuming that that prospect is not Lastings Miledge) get us Barry Zito?

Having spent 6 weeks in Oakland, everything you read about is how the A's are constantly looking to shed payroll. They are a 6-year Vocational School for young talent, who once the arbitration days are done, they can no longer afford their players.

With Zito expected to command above the absurd 5 yr 55 mil that AJ Burnett got this offseason, there is no way the A's can afford him.

I think this deal makes sense for both sides, in which case I would be ecstatic.

WHY I DONT LIKE THE DEAL

1. John Maine aside, you don't trade a solid, what is now relatively cheap starter, for a setup man. You just don't.

Now the Mets have done that twice in a month.

With both Jae Seo and Kris Benson gone, the back end of the Mets rotation, Zambrano and Heilman, is much more unsure than if it were Benson and Seo.

2. The Mets bullpen is now weaker.

Aaron Heilman was specatcular as a setup man in the second half of last year. He was the one guy in our pen that could get out lefties (now we are left with Mike Venafro).

I'd much rather have Benson starting and Heilman setting up than Heilman starting and Jorge Julio setting up.

3. One or the other.

I don't mind either the Seo or Benson trade individually. While I am not ecstatic about either, individually they are ok.

But together, our rotation is simply put, WORSE.

Aaron Heilman has had three good starts in his career. He hasn't proven that his 93 mph fastball in the 7th inning can last for 100 pitches.

His out pitch is his changeup, which when seen multiple times in a game becomes easier to hit.

I'm not saying Heilman can't be great, but he is very unproven, which makes me nervous. We've got a lot riding on 2006, Mets fans, and the truth is that we're staking a lot on the performance of two guys who have never had consistent success as starting pitchers with the Mets.

That said, if this deal sets up a deal for a front line starter, then I'll take it.

Now to Part II.

Sippy's reason's why these were the worst NFL playoffs ever.

1. There was one good game, the Steelers vs. Colts, and that game wasn't even good. It was Peyton being a joke and Big Ben asserting himself. But that game was exciting for about 4 minutes. That game was also responsible for many a West Coaster, AFOMG included, to miss the final 5 minutes of the second episode of 24's 2-hour premiere. Admittedly, AFOMG should have known better than to DVR 24 so he could go out with his friends, but still, salt on the Steelers and Colts for running over -- FOX has a schedule to keep.

2. There wasn't a single game that you went into excited about.

There was no Colts vs. Patriots.

There was a lot of Seattle vs. Chicago or Washington vs. everyone.

Every game should have been boring and every game was really boring.

3. Not one player stood out.

Joey Porter is the most exciting player in the postseason to date. Joey Porter. Dude is a pass rushing linebacker.

There were no Tom Brady's or Terrel Owens'. There was Matt Hasselback.

HOLY SHIT were these playoffs boring!!!

4. The Super Bowl is the Steelers vs. the Seahawks

Who in the hell cares. This is the worst, most unexciting Super Bowl I think that I can ever remember.

Shaun Alexander is officially the most boring superstar ever.

I honestly could care less about this game then I do about College Hockey. Not sure what else to say.

And Part III: Kobe dropped 81.

A pretty incredible Gamecast to watch. Spent the last 3 minutes/16 points of the game talking to Happy Will.

We talked about Kobe and how great he is and still how much we hate him.

If this were Michael Jordan, everyone would fall in love with the guy more. But it was Kobe. Maybe the biggest dick in sports.

Here's a guy, 6'7, perfect NBA Body, good looking, well spoken, and maybe the best player on earth.

According to our NBA source, "he is one tough suburban boy. He's the strongest dude I've ever seen."

You would think everyone would love him. But they don't, they hate him.

It's really too bad. Kobe could have been the "next great one," but he did one thing wrong. And no, it wasn't the rape charge in Colorado. What Kobe did wrong was he tried too hard to be "the next great one."

From day 1, he was a walking cliche. He spoke like Michael before he had the right to. He thought he was the best, a few years before he was the best.

He got his shit tossed so hard by Shaq in the Shaq vs. Kobe saga and he will just never get it back. He and Shaq could have 5 titles right now and still be going strong.

It'd be one thing if the Kobe/Shaq dispute happened now. If it did, Kobe would be right. But 2 years ago the Lakers were Shaq's team. If Kobe went with that, he would have 2 more titles. Instead, he is a selfish superstar on a 45-win team and a clear second fiddle to Lebron James.

He had to have it his way.

Now he is putting up 50 points every other game in the same way Michael Jordan did in the early stages of his career.

But his team just isn;t that good.

Sure, he'll win his scoring title and there will be more nights similar to Sunday. But Kobe will never be Michael and he could have been. Lebron still can, but Kobe, well, SALT

On that note, this was a big week of birthdays. Lot of good people born this week. Camper Zach, Goat, the Coach, Big Al, Jewish Jon, RF Tommy and my aunt Sue.

To all of you, have a great one.

To the rest of you, enjoy 24 tonight.

VCD,

SM

Baseball Roundup or, There Ain't Shit Going On: Day 5

(Note: We've got double the content here at Yankees2000 today. The first article, beginning immediately following this note, is a recap of the past week in baseball by A.F.O.M.G. The second article, by Sippy Momo, is the latest in the Interview Friday series with special guest Happy Will. Enjoy.)

What's up guys, A Friend of Mr. Glass' here. Been a while since I posted on the site, and if you want to know why, the most readily available explanation is the paucity of intriguing baseball-related happenings.

Well, that's not entirely true. Really the trouble has been that none of the five stories that have dominated the Major League Baseball/Mets-loving/Yankee-hating world have been big enough on their own to merit an individual post. The point of today's post, then, is to bring everyone up to speed on the five, no, six (!!) "significant" stories of the past week, in no particular order.

1. Mets sign Japanese pitcher Yusaku Iriki to a one-year Major League contract.

File this one under the ripple effect of the Jae Seo trade. After pouring over hours and hours of tape in the darkest depths of the New York office, I've discovered the Iriki can be used as a starter or a reliever. Much to the delight of one big Indian friend of mine, Iriki pitched for a team called the Nippon Ham Fighters in 2005, posting a 6-7 line with a 3.35 ERA in 28 games, 20 of which he started.

So what does it mean? Well, first off, it's important to note that he was signed to a major league contract. Translation: Iriki will be on the team come April 3. Once there, he figures to join the distinguished ranks of Rich Rodriguez, Eric Cammack, and other horrible-but-otherwise-completely-forgettable pitchers as the Mets' long relief option. If he manages to do better than that last sentence gives him credit for, he'll be used as a spot starter should one of our four rickety starters go down. If, on the other hand, one of our one terrible starters continues to be terrible and needs to be taken out of the rotation, expect Aaron Heilman to fill that role.

Speaking of Heilman, signing Iriki basically assures that his role will be limited to relief, barring the Victor Zambrano contingency detailed above. The move also means that the Brian Bannister era will likely have to wait for 2007, but I still wouldn't be shocked if he or Alay Soler found his way onto the big club by mid-summer.

Verdict on Iriki? I'm skeptical. Love Masato Yoshii and Tsuyoshi Shinjo (Shinjyo5.net was and remains the greatest non-blog website I've ever seen) though I did, the Mets have had pretty bad luck with Japanese players (see Hideo Nomo, Kaz Ishii, Kazuo Matsui), and I'm expecting a pretty unremarkable tenure from Iriki. Like Matsui, he evidently dyes his hair orange. That worked badly for Matsui and amazingly for Rey Ordonez. As for Iriki, we shall see...

2. SNY finalizes broadcast team, runs risk of turning booth into drug den.

That's right, boys and girls, after months of speculation, SportsNet New York has finally confirmed that its broadcast booth will be manned by Gary Cohen and Mets legends Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling. Heroes of the 1986 Mets championship team (Christ, that was 20 years ago), Darling and Hernandez will most likely split color analysis duties, though it's possible that some three-way action could go down.

All in all, this is a pretty good sign. Darling's commentary abilities are a bit of an unknown quantity -- it's not that he's never worked before, it's just that I've never heard him. He worked Nationals games last year in what was, I believe, his first year of broadcasting. His broadcast talents aside, signing him up is further sign that the Mets, as an organization, are finally beginning to embrace the '86 team.

For years, 86ers were shunned by Mets brass because of their off-field antics. These antics included drug abuse, bar fights, and, in the case of the well-endowed Rafael Santana, putting one's genitals on Tim Teufel's shoulders. For those that still haven't, The Bad Guys Won is still an absolute must-read, and "The 1986 Mets Tape: A Year to Remember", is still a must-watch. Those who are unfamiliar with either can feel free to get a copy from me.*

But in spite of all their rabble-rousing, those Mets still won a World Series title, and that's more than we can say about any other team in the 20 years since. Call it attitude, swagger, panache or whatever you want to call it, but that team had something that captured the hearts of baseball fans across the city. They might have been bad guys, but they played some pretty kick ass baseball and it's encouraging to see that the Mets as a franchise are finally opening their arms to them. Darling and Mex are on-board -- here's looking at you, guys.

3. A-Rod settles on Team USA in World Baseball Classic.

So you know how earlier I said that none of the stories on this list were major enough to merit their own article? Well, nobody in the major media got the memo on A-Shithead's decision to play for the U.S., no the Dominican Republic, no the U.S. in the inaugural World Baseball Classic this March.

Now look, I understand we're starved for baseball-related news these days, but come on, coverage of this guy's heartrending decision of which country to represent was almost as tiresome as the coverage of A-Rod's first few days in Yankee training camp before the 2004 season. I can still remember the headlines:

A-Rod Blows First Bubble in Pinstripes!

A-Rod Prefers Yankee Charmin Toilet Paper to Rangers' Single-Ply!

Seriously, it was almost that bad. So you'd think lessons would have been learned since then, but no, the mainstream, non-blog media beat this story into the ground until you knew every last aspect of A-Rod's harrowing decision.

Seven thousand articles later, A-Rod chose Team USA. And that's all we have to say about that.

4. Mets hold mini-camp, Wright, Bradford, Pelfrey attend.

Not a hell of a lot more to say about this 3-day trip down to Florida than that. It was good to see Pelfrey finally throw a pitch in Mets togs, and if the advance buzz on this guy is accurate, you could very conceivably see him at Shea come 2007.

It turns out Happy Will objects to the David Wright appreciation here at Yankees2000, but fuck him. It was great to see DW show up at the mini-camp, the Mets' only major league position player to show (if that's not true, he was certainly the only marquee one). This guy will be the leader of the Mets in all possible shape and form by 2008 at the absolute latest (it could be as early as this year, frankly), and it's moves like this that get you there.

Here's a guy who has all the talent in the world, knows the responsibility being heaped on him by the organization, and embraces it head-on. So, yeah, we like him here at Yankees2000.

5. Theo rejoins Red Sox, city of Boston gives itself a hand job.

Regulars at the site will remember that Old Sip and I were pretty bent out of shape by Theo's departure from the Red Sox in late October. I don't really know all the details yet, but it's good to see him return home. His actual position is still unspecified, but it stands to reason that he will return in a role greater than the one he left behind.

We here at Yankees2000 are happy for Theo, the Red Sox organization, and the city of Boston as a whole. As a regular reader of the Boston Globe, I can tell you that Theo's departure cast a shadow over every Red Sox-related article, which in turn cast a shadow over virtually everyone living in Beantown.

Seriously, it was like the entire city was in one big 80-day-long rut. You could hardly read an article or column without being reminded that Theo was gone, and now that he's back, well, Johnny Damon is still the worst person alive, but Sox fans have one less thing to complain about.

Perhaps the best part of all this Theo coverage is that I've learned that the day he walked away from the Red Sox' offer of a contract extension, he left Fenway Park in a giant gorilla suit so as to avoid the media.

For five blissful seconds I thought that Theo just happened to keep said gorilla suit in his closet, ya know, just in case, but then I remembered that that was Oct. 31 and presumably it was his costume for the evening. Oh well.

6. Wrecking ball moves one swing closer to Shea, Yankee Stadium.

The Board of the Empire State Development Corporation announced yesterday that they had approved the adoption of project plans for new stadiums for the Mets and Yankees. Ordinarily, I would only mention the Mets, but actually I may be happier about the Yankees getting a new stadium than I am about the Mets.

When the wrecking ball finally comes and the bell tolls for Yankee Stadium, I may just bring a lawnchair and toast the destruction of the citadel of misery. No more will we be subject to tired rants about stepping into Yankee Stadium, and how great a feeling that is.

Truth be told, even a Yankee hater like me can appreciate the history of the field. I actually find it pretty cool to consider that men like Babe Ruth, Lou Gherig, Mickey Mantle and so many others played on that very field. So I don't hate that aspect of it. But hearing people like A-Rod and Juicer Giambi go on and on about it couldn't be more mind numbing, and if the destruction of the stadium is necessary in order to put a stop to that talking point, then so be it. Besides, the current plan is to preserve the actual field itself, so that's really the best of both worlds.

As for the Mets, well, I've got mixed feelings. The current plan is that this new stadium will be open for business come opening day in 2009. The stadium is to be built adjacent to Shea, so we'll still have the 7 train, Willets Point, and 747s to look forward to.

Look, I know people think Shea's a dump, and on some level maybe I can appreciate that it is. But the way I feel about it is the way I felt about my righteous off-campus apartment senior year: it was a dump, but it was our dump.

There are just too many good memories there at Shea. There's the already immortalized O.O.T.G.C.O.A.T. There's Game 5 of the 1999 NLCS, sitting there with F.O.A.F.O.M.G. and not wearing my jacket in spite of the cold October air and light showers because the moment I took it off earlier in the evening John Olerud hit a home run, a decision that was validated when Robin Ventura hit the longest single you'll ever see. Who could forget Opening Day in 1998 when the Mets won 1-0 in 14 innings on an Alberto Castillo single. I told my math teacher Dr. Abernathy I was at the dentist that day, but a Daily News photographer caught me smiling in the stands on the first base line, and his editor decided to put that picture of the Mets celebrating on the field and me and the other fans cheering on the back page the next morning.

Good memories all.

It just won't be the same going to a Mets game without showing up at Shea. So enjoy it these next 3 years, Mets fans, and keep your fingers crossed that our new stadium doesn't end up playing second fiddle to the Spanks'.

Anyway, in case you haven't been paying any attention over the past week, that's what you missed. Have a good weekend everybody, and be sure to read Sip's interview with Happy Will immediately below.

- A.F.O.M.G.

*: Offer is made in bad faith.

No Celebs, Just One Happy SOB

So this has been a slow week on the Tiger Beat. Over the last couple of Friday's I have had the pleasure of sitting down with the likes of Jessica Alba and Elisha Cuthbert, two personal favorites of mine and big fans of the site.

Unfortunately, my PR guy Peg Leg Jawn couldn't line up any A-listers this week. He threw out the name Ben Lyons, correspondent for NBC's REEL Talk, and then when that went nowhere he suggested my pal Atul, who is an up and comer in the game of undercover Dentistry, but nothing materialized on that front.

He even suggested me dropping an interview on my father, Old Chipper, a heck of a guy and nominee for Father of the Year.

But after thinking it over, there was one person whose voice both you and I needed to hear. Over the course of the last three months this young man has proven himself to be quite the loyal Mets fan as well as one hell of a happy guy.

So today on interview Friday, I bring you Happy Will:

SM: What's going on, Happy Will?
HW: Good day, Sip.

SM: So you are one happy cat. Why all the happiness?
HW: Let's just say God handed me a pretty solid hand and for that I will always be thankful.

SM: So do you pencil yourself up there with the Mark Brunells of the world in your love for the Lord Savior Jesus Christ?
HW: Afraid not Sip, I'm a big fan of God, the lord of the Hebrews.

SM: Salt. So you're a huge Knicks fan. How does it feel knowing the team sucks, doesn't have a first round pick this year, will lose their first round pick next year to the Bulls, are also out a first rounder in 2010, and have no potential cap room, which basically means that what we have here is the present and the future.
HW: That makes me happy.

SM: Well, why does it make you happy, Will?
HW: Because I truly believe that Nate Robinson, David Lee, and Channing Frye are the type of players that help you win a championship.

SM: Throw in Mehmet Okur and I'll give you something there. So HW, you are often considered a legend in the NYC private school basketball scene. How does that make you feel?
HW: Well Sip, that makes me pretty, well, happy.

SM: Care to elaborate? You were compared to a young Travis Diener by Yankees2000 basketball analyst Sippy Momo.
HW: Yeah, that about sums it up.

SM: You're really making this easy, Happy man. Yesterday you salted on the happiness of this site and our love for David Wright. So we slurp D Wright here, I think that's kind of ok.
HW: You're right Sip. It was wrong of me to throw out the Brokeback comment.

SM: So have you seen "Brokeback Mountain"?
HW: OF COURSE!!!

SM: Your thoughts?
HW: Off the record, I could kind of relate.

SM: Sorry, HW, everything is on the record here.
HW: That makes me unhappy.

SM: So if you're so down on the David Wright content, why do you keep coming back to this site? HW: You got no idea how bad it gets, but if you can't fix it, you gotta stand it, know what I mean?

SM: Sorry, HW, I have no idea what you mean.

HW: That makes me unhappy.

The above was an excerpt from a made up conversation I had with Happy Will.

It was meant to provide all of our readers with the following warning: Don't fuck with David Wright, and don't fuck with this site for loving the hope that is David Wright. If there is someone, anyone in the world to make angry Sip optimistic about Mets baseball, don't try and ruin that for me or put any sour grapes between it.

Sorry for the lack of A-listers on interview Friday.

I want to give a big thanks to Cousin Awesome for a great story on Thursday. It was awesome just like Rutgers, Jersey, and yourself.

Keep killing shit.

Have a great weekend all.

VCD

SM

D Wright: The Perfect Man Part II, via Cousin

So when I tell most people that my cousin is also one of my best friends, I kind of feel like that kid who has to take his sister to the prom. It's like, no one else is willing to go, so you hang out with people that have to by default. Not so in this case, as young Sip’s infectious personality makes him one of my favorite people to be around.

So you can imagine my honor when he asked me to guest-blog on one of my daily sites, Yankees2000, as it is not only a great distraction from work, but one of my few ways to keep up with him since he moved to the best coast.

It went a little something like this (IM names withheld to protect the innocent)

Young_Sip: you there?
Cousin_Tonks: autoresponse American Idol
Young_Sip: Listen, I would like you to recap the story of your interaction with the biscuit who knows DW for Thursday’s Blog

Now, the details are a tad hazy based on the fact that the evening started a little early. But in deference to the site, I will recount as best I can. Even though I have grown a little tired of Bill Simmons and his esoteric stories of House and others, I will start it in his diary-like style. However, it reaches a point where I am too bombed to know times.

7:00 p.m. - After not wanting to go out, I get a call from JB, one of the best Goldman Sachs All-Stars since Cousin Eric, saying I should meet him for dinner. As I am looking to switch professions, networking through a GS All-Star is one of the best ways to go.

8:00 - Leave Jersey (which I am not a fan of doing, being that it is the greatest state in the Union) and arrive at Sushi Samba. The Friday night wait without a reservation at this establishment is a tad obnoxious, so we start to imbibe.

9:30 - Get Seated and after 6 rounds of straight goose, 240 dollars worth of sushi (on JB, bonuses were apparently real sweet at the banks this year), 2 promises of interviews (one for GS, and one from some dude and his gf sitting next to me).

Exact quote: “I overheard you talking about wanting a job in sales. You seem very loud and outgoing, here’s my card.”

I knew the night was off to a great start, but after just one round at the neighboring Underbar, and seeing one of my favorite sights in the city, a group of 20 dudes all in blazers waiting on line, JB drops the bomb that he and his GF are tired and they are going to head home. My city options were poops, so it seemed like this glorious night was going to end far too prematurely.

10:45 - Get a call from one of my favorite Metros saying it is his sister’s birthday party at Black
Bear, a great B&T bar in Hoboken. Now this kid is incredible. He wears only blazers, including to engineering classes when he was an undergrad with me at RU (GO KNIGHTS, GO KNIGHTS). Engineering classes are 97% dudes and 3% awful chicks, and yet the kid still came to each class dressed like he was partying with the Diddy. Alas, he said the chicks were gorgeous, and one thing about this guy, he rolls with nothing under 8s.

So I take the PATH train back to the best state, roll up, and he certainly wasn’t lying. The minute I walk in this ridiculous blonde caught my eye. I get introduced and start squawking some sick fresh game. Now at some point she drops the bomb, that gets this story Yankees2000 worthy: She rolls with none other than David Wright, your favorite and mine.

I suddenly changed my tune from throwing on the Sex Panther and going for the kill, to racking her brain about the man behind the legend. See, until this point, the top Hoboken regulars include Eli Manning (who I have seen spout some of the worst game ever. Lines include, "I dunno, I'm just a momma’s boy", in his awful Southern drawl.) He rolls with none other than Bachelor Jesse. Palmer is too pimp to be put into words, so I won’t even bother. I take a chick who knows DW and don’t look back.

So much has been said of David Wright on this site, and for good reason. He is without a doubt the real deal. He is everything Gregg Jefferies was supposed to be and everything we were happy Brien Taylor never was. Remember when you would have given everything
you own for the Gregg Jefferies 88 Score?

Part of being a Mets fan is knowing you shouldn’t get excited about any move they make, and sort of getting excited anyway. It seems to have started with the paying of Bobby Bonilla $29 million over 5, and continued with such notables as Mo Vaughn, Bobby Alomar, Armando Benitez, and it seems at this point Carlos Beltran (jury is still out) . As a Mets fan you know this list is endless.

And yet with all that being said, there is nary a Mets fan who is not positive that DW isn’t the real deal. And meeting this fine Betty confirmed other things about Golden Boy. Besides being Tiger Beat worthy, he is also an all-around great guy. He loves New York, and nothing gets him more excited than being a Met. He says he wants to retire a Met one day, and we believe him.

Not like Carlos Beltran who was willing to play for less money to be a Yankee, and who has a massive pimple/wart/goiter on the side of his face that basically precludes any chance he might have otherwise had at attaining Tiger Beat pinup status.

No, this Wright guy is different. An in-law of my brother named Jeff McCarragher was friends with a wet-behind-the-ears DW. Jeff until very recently was an announcer for the Norfolk Tides, the Mets' AAA squad. But the fact that every story this chick told me matches to the T everything Jeff mentioned, shows me that money and fame have not spoiled this kid. He just loves the game, like we do. He just happens to play it incredibly well.

He is Derek Jeter without the need to have his name on Page Six daily. This chick met him at his own charity dinner. How many people know about David Wright’s charities? Not a whole lot, because that is not his way. Anytime a Yankee even helps an old lady cross the street it is front page news in the Post, Times, Daily News, and USA Today. DW doesn’t carry himself this way. He just gets the job done. Period. On and off the field. He is the future, and the reverse of the Bobby Bonilla Curse.

Me and this Ten exchanged numbers with a promise that she will drop a dime when DW is in town. Hopefully it will coincide with a return of Young Sip to the east, and you will get a blog of our night on the town with the future Hall of Famer. Who knows if it will go down, but just confirming all that we know about our Mets hero was worth the entire night.

Scarlet Knights Go!

Cousin Tonks

(Editor's note: Please invite me if you guys hang out with David Wright. I need this.)

Euphoria, the Mets, and 24

So imagine a press conference by Ernie Acorsi that says the following:

"The New York Football Giants have just agreed to terms with former Ohio St. QB Johnny Utah to a 6-year contract."

Euphoria. You'd be combining the best with the best.

So you could only imagine how I felt just minutes ago when I discovered that Daniel "Rudy" Rudiger had left the streets of South Bend, Indiana worked his way thru the United States government to become a vital member of the country's counter terrorist defense program.

For those not in the know, this was just one aspect of Fox's 2-part, 4-hour heroin injection that was the kickoff to the fifth season of 24.

Like Pokey in New Jack City, I was fiending. A botched DVR during my weekend trip to Los Angeles denied me of my fix.

A failure for Big Maciej to attain a car to pick me up at the airport slowed my progress. But finally, at long last, it happened.

The junkie got the goods. For four hours I felt like I was on liquid crack.

See, I don't really take drugs, but as you all know, I flat out love the action. The women, the booze, the gambling, those are things I condone.

The feeling when you play Metallica, Van Halen or AC/DC to pump yourself up. For me, it was the "tryouts" scene in Rudy that always got me going, which is why seeing the little fella on board only made me that much happier.

I'm the kid that needs to get to a basketball game 10 minutes early because I love seeing introductions.

(Editor's note: Is that really the best picture you could find from that movie, Sip?)

As the great Bodhisatva once said, "Pure adrenalin, right?! The ultimate rush. Other guys snort for it, jab a vein for it -- all you gotta do is jump."

Well to me there are few things that bring this rush. Those moments when you just feel perfect, excited, euphoric.

I am proud to say that I feel this rush when 24 is on the screen. I block out my unemployment, my dwindling bank account, the unknown funk coming out of my bedroom.

But I am prouder to say that I feel this way about Mets baseball. I'll show up at Shea around 30 times a year. It's just what I do. Some people like to read. Others like to see plays or music shows. Others, like our pal Johnny Utah or Ann Marie Chadwick, love to surf.

For me though, those 30 or so seconds before our boys take the field, that is when I am at the top of my game. Everything is perfect, not a care in the world and all I feel is pure adrenaline.

This year we were treated to the sweet sounds of T.I.'s "Bring 'em Out" which had such a double meaning. Not only was the song freaking incredible, but the lyrics, "bring 'em out, bring 'em out" also happened to make a lot of sense considering the timing.

For those 30 seconds I get the chills, my hair feels like it is being raised and floating and everything else in the world stops.

I live for that shit.

I'm basically just in a sick mood right now and I needed to dump my adrenaline through what else, a blog. COOL SIP.

Nonetheless, I hope you guys all have this feeling that I am having right now. For most of you, I would imagine the thing that takes you there is Mets baseball. If that's the case, well, you're sort of screwed during the offseason. That's where this blog comes in. We do our best, but if our best isn't good enough for you, hey, pitchers and catchers report to spring training in just over a month.

Of course, Mets baseball and 24 aren't the only things that provoke that perfect feeling. Sometimes I get it when I'm just with my best friends or the perfect girl.

Either way, it's the best.

That's all.

I want to drop something special to my old pal J Raw for being the only person to send an email to Nick the Voice in regards to his Lost DVD.

I was serious about that one, and I'm sad to say that one of my few Yankee fan friends took that one down, and I'm a little disappointed.

Either way, J, very strong pal. Stay up big baby.

VCD,

SM

Coming Clean on 24, H and K, and Some Sweet Ass Fried Chicken

So before I go anywhere with this, I have a confession. When you guys read this article, I will still have not watched 24's first 4 hours.

I am embarassed, ashamed, sad, angry, confused. Somewhere, Cousin Awesome, J-Schubs, AFOMG, and the rest of the Blondie's crew is desperate to pass me the salt.

So I tried to be a good guy. We had a group of 10 out in LA for the weekend and everyone was going out to dinner. I thought I'd be a mature Sip and go to the dinner, and DVR 24.

Of course the DVR didn't work. This was just about the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. All I wanted to do was talk to people about 24. I received frantic texts and phone calls but all I could do was say, "I didn't see it, I gotta go." I was truly ashamed.

So anyway, I'm out at Sky Bar in LA last night. This is one of the swanky "spots" in LA. It was a nice time, saw a bunch of friends.

So when I get there I walk to our table (note: I think this is my first ever "getting a table") and who do I see? Harold, from "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle". Just a typical night in Hollywood. I told my agent and close pal Zim to see if he could try and steal him as a client, and he said he would give it a shot.

So I walk past him again and who do I spot out of the corner of my eye, sitting at the table with him, a baseball cap covering his sweet Indian skin? None other than Kumar, from "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle".

Harold and Kumar are role dogs.

To me, that's pretty damn sweet.

So we chilled with the dynamic duo throughout the course of the night. Contrary to popular belief, girls don't throw their under carriages at the likes of B-list movie stars.

But as you would imagine, Kumar is one cool cat. He is that cool Indian guy that every generic white kid would want as a friend. He is the real life Sippy to Harold, and for that I am somewhat jealous.

Our waitress, this sweet little biscuit named Jennie was the talk of the night. She was ridiculous and sweet and perfect. So somehow it slips that she is coming to San Francisco this week to which I respond, "I live there".

Smooth Sip.

So at the end of the night, she gives me a piece of paper with her phone number and e-mail. I feel like Jesus Shuttlesworth himself. It can't be this easy, can it?

So the next morning I throw out the, "do you like apples" routine from "Good Will Hunting", the tale of a young man torn between ihs childhood tomfoolery and his inescapable genius, to my pals Goat and Max.

Always worth a chuckle, but the response was kind of more depressing.

"She gave me her number, too," said Max, who also live in SF.

So I'm thinking either this lady has some kinky interests, or what's more likely, I'm not as cool as I thought I was.

Oh well.

I got over my insecurities with a trip to LA's wonderland, Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.

For those of you asleep during Chris Tucker's rise to movie star status in the late 90's, this place is famous for its fried chicken, waffles and intense ghettoness.

Let's just say that when a bunch of skinny white kids rolled in there seven deep, I felt like we stood out, and man was it a weird feeling.

Nonetheless, the fried chicken and waffles were strong to very strong.

So now you ask, what do 24, Harold and Kumar, and Fried Chicken have to do at all what the subject that this blog is supposedly dedicated to: Pro-Mets/Anti-Yankee baseball?

The answer is simple. Like loving the Mets and hating the Yankees, these three things are all really awesome.

Considering the big talk out of Shea is Ramon Castro's role on the club, I figured I'd drop some value stories. Maybe later in the week we'll discuss the possible acquisition of Jeff Weaver, but for now, that's just a lot of talk by a bunch of desperate fans

I remain super unemployed and am starting to expand my search. Who's got something for young Sip?

Let me know.

VCD,

SM

An Interview with Ms. 24 Herself

(Note: The following story contains a vaguely not safe for work photo. It's nothing that would make you blush, but let me put it this way, if my boss were talking to me, I wouldn't want him to see it. Consider this your VNSFW warning).

There I was sitting in the lounge at LAX, in Hell-A for a weekend with some of the old Penn crowd and some of my old Collegiate crew when I saw a figure of incalcuable beauty.

Sitting there, waiting for a flight from LA to Vegas was Kim Bauer herself, Ms. Elisha Cuthbert. For those who still haven't seen 24, well, salt. For those who have, I think we can all put her performance in Season 1 down as maybe the greatest in the history of television. She's certainly a strong contender for Best Shriek.

What was an out-of-work blogger to do but sidle over and spark up a conversation? See, old Sip has always had a way with the ladies, so I flexed the charm and I was able to grab a few minutes of Elisha's time. Of course, it didn't hurt that I was able to drop the name of our SF pal from the Bay. It's amazing how easy that shit makes things.

So anyway here's my recollection of my conversation with Elisha Cuthbert:

SM: Gotta say I'm in awww. How are you, Elisha?
EC: Great, Sip, what's going on?

SM: Well, actually, I write a daily column (did not want to say blog) centering around New York Mets baseball and a hatred for the Yankees. Have any thoughts on that?
EC: Well, I'm not much of a baseball girl. I grew up in Canada so I prefer hockey personally...

SM: Sorry to interrupt, but in deference to our audience back East I've gotta ask you, were you moved to tears by the MSG Network's tribute to The Captain or what?
EC: So moved to tears! I mean, how can you not like Mark Messier? A friend of mine was saying just the other day that he doesn't even like hockey but when he sees that clip of Messier with the cup and that huge-ass grin on his face, even HE gets goosebumps!

SM: Yeah, it's a pretty priceless shot. So... is there, like, any way you could you say ass again?
EC: Haha, you're crazy, Sip!

SM: Had to ask. So yeah, salt on baseball, huh?
EC: No way! I'm a hockey kind of girl, sure, but baseball is growing on me.

SM: What's your favorite team?
EC: Hmm... I can't say I really have one yet.

SM: Any chance I can sell you on the Mets?
EC: Haha, yeah sure.

SM: You get more perfect by the minute. So, look, "The Girl Next Door" is one of my favorite movies. Your stripping scene in the very beginning has sent many a young teenager/blogger to the bathroom. Your "I'm all wet can I come in" line is legendary. How'd you feel about that picture?

EC: That movie was a lot of fun. I really thought it was a well-written teen movie, kind of like "Varsity Blues".

SM: A favorite of mine. So that dude who was in the movie with you, the little fuck that you fell in love with? Is he as big a dork in person as he appears in the movie? I mean, seriously, if the movie had one flaw in particular it was that there was absolutely no way a biscuit such as yourself would ever fall for a herb like that.
EC: Stop it, Sip. He's a good guy, just a little different. You know, he has different interests.

SM: Like what?
EC: Actually, I know he is a huge Yankee fan. I think he is actually really close friends with Derek Jeter. They hang out a bunch.

SM: Not surprising.
EC: What do you mean?

SM: Well, let's just say we had our worries about young Emile Hirsch, and when I interviewed Jess Alba she kind of slipped the word about old DJ, if you know what I'm saying.
EC: That's kind of messed up, Sip.

SM: Sorry, Elisha. I think the last thing in the world I would ever do is offend you.
EC: It's OK.

SM: So how do you know big Mike D?
EC: Haha, actually we went out a couple of times. I came up to the Bay to see some games when he was a rookie.

SM: Well I'm actually up there now. Any chance you're interested in catching another game?
EC: Yeah, I love San Francisco, I would definitely come up!

SM: You just made my day. So anyway, anything you want to say about the Mets in '06?
EC: For you Sip, I can only say one thing. Let's Go Mets!

SM: You made my day, Elisha, have a great trip to Vegas and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
EC: OK. Peace, Sip.

What a great girl. So random, but that definitely started this trip out pretty well. Have a great weekend all.

VCD,

SM

We're back on Tuesday after the long weekend. Have a great MLK and welcome Mr. Bauer.

Mr. Echo, the Answer to Nails' Prayers, and Our New 2B

So who knew? Mr. Echo is one bad ass mother fucker. For those that do not know what I am talking about, it's time you guys get lost in the ABC hit smash, Lost. It's on 24's level.

Let's back up. Readers of this site know that AFOMG's new year's resolution was to try new things. See, for as long as I've known the kid, he has been one of the better people to walk this earth. You know you have a friend when basically anything either of you say makes the other one laugh.

But man is this kid stubborn. It took me throwing the DVD down his face for him to watch 24 and since, the kid has turned into a zombie.

So hop on board to Lost, AFOMG, and grab the DVD.

For everyone else, e-mail Nfribourg@paulweiss.com if you are looking for a copy. We bought it together and somehow he got ownership rights, so this is me dropping the friendly f-bomb on my old pal "The Voice", by using the powers of the blogosphere.

So if everyone can just click on the link above and shoot the kid an e-mail, it would be pretty funny. The goal is 150 e-mails cluttering his inbox asking him to burn his DVD of Lost -- get on it.

An e-prank you may say... man have I turned into a tool.

So anyway, some big news in baseball today. Two things for that matter.

The Mets signed their first round pick from the 2005 draft, Mike Pelfrey. Pelfrey was widely considered the best pitcher in this past June's draft, but due to fears over the contract demands that he and his agent, your favorite and mine, Scott Boras, were expected to levy, Pelfrey slipped to the Mets with the 9th pick of the first round.

Sound familiar? You may notice a symmetry in his tale to a pitcher we drafted a few years back who went on to be part of the worst trade in franchise history. His name is Scott Kazmir.

So in Pelfrey we immediately have our top pitching prospect. Unlike Kazmir, this guy is a giant, standing about 6'7. He's a power guy with #1 starter stuff. On top of that, he went to baseball powerhouse Wichita State which has produced other recent Mets as the great and irreplacable... Braden Looper. SALT.

So anyway, big day for the Muts, I guess, and an even bigger day for the Mike Needhams of the world. For those that don't know Nails, this guy lives and bleeds the Mets' farm system. After two powerful months as an intern at Shea, Nails was ready to give a clinic on each and every player in the Mets' minor league system. Mike Jacobs? Plus-power. David Wright? Plus-defense, plus-plus makeup, plus-power, plus-eye.

But nobody registered like Kid K, Scott Kazmir. Rarely does one man jock another like Nails jocked Kazmir. The idea of this wonder from Texas taking the mound at Shea probably inspired at least one night of soiled sheets, and if it never did, well, Nails sure looked forward to it a whole bunch just the same.

But then something happened. Call it Black Friday. Call it The Purge. Call it what you want to call it, but after the trading deadline the Mets found themselves down Scott Kazmir, who we probably could have traded for any one of the Big Three in Oakland or another established, legitimate superstar, in exchange for... Victor Zambrano.

Nails was crushed. Speaking to him the night of the trade was like speaking to a ghost. The kid was equal parts traumatized and incensed. In fact, he was so outraged that this past season he launched a one-man, one-year boycott of Mets home games.

Now I haven't spoken to Nails about this yet, but I can only imagine (and I sincerely hope so for his sake) that his world has gotten just that much brighter because of the Mike Pelfrey signing. A new horse for you to watch develop, you've earned it, pal -- now go work up a scouting report on this kid so that we'll have something to blog about tomorrow.

On another note and maybe of more immediate importance, according to espn.com, the Cubs today decided that Todd Walker was going to be the odd man out in their infield rotation.

This could be the guy for the Mets. While walker is at best an average defender, he is a very solid lefthanded bat that would serve a much better role in the #2 hole than Paul Lo Duca, whom Willie Randolph, for no good reason, has threatened could hit second when the season opens. Walker is coming off a .300 season and would provide another left-handed bat to the lineup.

For Wheel and Deal Minaya, this guy seems like a no brainer to go after.

I wasn't really sure what to talk about today. Still catching a lot of buzz from yesterday's Jesus lovers post, which for that, I am very proud of our audience. Dudes who love Jesus sure are sweet,but not quite as sweet as dudes who love dudes who love Jesus.

So for all of you out there who were entertained, consider your sense of humors to be solid. For those of you who were not, well, go back to 1989 and think of this line:

"A gun rack... a gun rack. I don't even own a gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack?"

If that doesn't make you laugh then I got nothing.

Off to LA tommorow for the weekend to reunite with some pals from the U and some others from back in the NYC.

Should hit up Spago sometime this weekend, visit my pal and host of that fine institution, the Hulk. Speaking of the Hulk, I couldn't be happier for him considering the Knicks' 5-game winning streak. I'd probably be happier still if the Knicks lost every game and Isiah Thomas got fired, but I'm a pretty vengeful guy when it comes to these sorts of things. NEW KNICKS!

Anyway, as for Spago, word on the street is that it's Keanu's favorite spot in LA, so I'll let you guys know if I can catch a glimpse of the man, the myth himself.

Vaya con dios,

SM

Dudes Who Love the Man Upstairs

So today is a day long overdue. There are a lot of things that I love about sports. Competing, watching, discussing, gambling -- all of these come to mind, and many more on top of those.

But one thing that I truly love that doesn't get enough credit has to do with something greater than sports themselves.

Today, we pay tribute to the top 10 "Dudes who love Jesus". Yes, there are some players who worship other deities, Shawn Green for instance. And yes, we could have had a field day with God-inspired movie characters, Pedro Cerrano or Ed Harris, for instance.

But that will have to wait for another day. To keep things in the context of this site we will pay tribute to some real-life local Jesus lovers. God knows we have a bunch of them over at Shea. But you could also check MSG over the last couple of years to catch a few more.

As for the pic above, well, that child very strongly resembles these next 10 guys.

Researching this article was immensely enjoyable. For kicks, you should type in anyone's name along with "Jesus" into Google and see what comes up. Amazingly, and probably for the first and last time on this website, all the quotes in this article are 100% true.

10. Mark Brunell, QB, Washington Redskins

The Redskins sure should suck. They are maybe the most boring team in the NFL with a vastly overrated running back and a QB who belongs in a retirement home. Yet somehow, the Redskins, behind Mark Brunell, have prevailed.

Brunell attributes his success to his strong character and personality: "I have a stronger marriage, I'm a better parent and I have incredible friends I can count on. Jesus Christ made the difference.''

http://www.rickross.com/reference/champions/champions6.html

Hopefully Jesus Christ forgets to show up this weekend, because as Moses knows, I hate the 'Skins and all their annoying ass fans.

9. The New Mets

Carlos Beltran and Pedro Martinez both love Jesus and for good reason.

Jesus Christ has guided Pedro Martinez to a Hall of Fame career. With every strikeout Jesus Christ was there with Pedro. Pedro always points up to the sky after escaping a jam or at the end of a game.

As for Beltran, Jesus Christ is responsible for 119 million bucks, none of which he deserved, and a massive wart on the right side of his face, which never appears on the Carlos Beltran bobblehead dolls.

In reference to Jesus, Beltran said, "He is a professional person, super-educated. I've let them know my interest, and they have interest, too, about me joining their team."

http://www.puertorico-herald.org/issues/2004/vol8n53/LiveEd/Media3-en.shtml

Oh wait a minute, Beltran said this about George Steinbrenner and the Yankees, a team he would have taken less money to play for. Can you say, THE NEW METS?

(Editor's Note: One of my favorite Carlos Beltran-isms is his tendency to say "I have to thanks God" rather than "I have to thank God". I tried running a search for him saying "thanks God" but it seems all the articles have chopped off the S in deference to Beltran's intended meaning. It's also possible he got the whole thing straightened out, but I'll be listening intently the next time he gives an interview on the Fan just the same.)

8. Mike Sweeney, 1B, Kansas City Royals

There's no way around this one. Once a potential candidate to fill the Mets' 1B vacancy, Sweeney went another direction. The direction of the Lord.

When asked what's the best thing about being a ballplayer, Sweeney responded:

"Best thing about my job is the platform it gives me to share my faith about Christ with people throughout the world. Last winter I went on a missionary trip to Germany and this winter I'm going to Ireland. We use baseball as a vehicle to tell people about Jesus and the Bible."

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/bbw/2001-05-30/2001-05-30-extra.htm

It is clear Jesus has been behind the Royals in their triumphant effort to be the worst team of the decade and maybe the worst team ever.

7. The Brothers Luke, University of Oregon 2003

Both Luke Ridnour and Luke Jackson flat out loved Jesus during Oregon's surprise run to the Sweet 16 of the NCAA tourament.

When they weren't taking half court shots for room selection in their off campus apt, they were busy loving Jesus and all that He stands for.

According to a 2004 article in Breakaway Magazine by Gail Wood, Luke's "a gym rat to the core. The only thing that comes before basketball is Jesus Christ."

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLR,GGLR:2005-49,GGLR:en&q=Luke+Ridnour+and+Jesus

6. Eric Byrnes, OF, Arizona Diamondbacks

Well this one is a little backwards. While Byrnesy may be too busy slaying the female population of every respective city he ventures to and skateboarding to the ballpark, we're not sure if he is too busy loving Jesus.

One thing we are sure of is that Jesus is spending a hell of a lot of time loving this guy. Dudes just don't get sweeter than Byrnesy, and there is only one reason for this in the world of loving Jesus, and that is Jesus Himself.

So good for you, Byrnesy.

5. Lance Berkman, OF, Houston Astros

Lance Berkman helped deliver our good pal Yanni the Great a ton of money in 2005. With some clutch home runs and stellar D, as well as a stunning resemblence to my close pal and UPenn legend Nick Harnsberger (note: Nick also wears a cross), Berky did a lot to establish himself as a baseball great.

While he has worked hard in the gym and in the cage, however, there is one person who is really responsible for Berky's success. Yep, you guessed it: Jesus Christ, the Lord.

"The key in athletics and with your walk (with the Lord) is that consistent, day in and day out performance,” Berkman said. “In baseball, you have to continue to produce. And the guys who do are the ones considered the good players because they are consistent. With Christ, the consistent walk is the one that keeps you out of trouble and if you don’t have it you’re probably going to end up failing more times than you should because you haven’t prepared yourself to face the challenges that are out there on a daily basis.”

http://www.christiansportsminute.com/lance_berkman.htm

4. Kurt Warner, QB, Arizona Cardinals

Growing up I had some good friends. Few rivaled the original Momo, and that's a large part of the reason for my pen name, of which I have grown very fond.

Back in 1999 when I told Mr. Momo that he looked like Kurt Warner, it really made his day. So for that reason, whenever I thought of Kurt Warner, I also held a bright spot for him.

Well in a similar way, Warner holds a bright spot for a wise man and legend of the Bible, Jesus Christ:

"I believe that the Lord has a plan for each of us that's better than anything we can imagine --even if that plan isn't obvious to us at every stage," Warner said. "He prepared me for this over a long period of time -- in lower-profile locker rooms and the grocery store and in Europe, through all the personal tragedies and in spite of the people who doubted me along the way."

http://www.gnpcb.org/product/663575725312

Hopefully Jesus will find Kurt another starting job next season.

3. Jon Kitna, QB, Cincinnati Bengals

On Sunday, Carson Palmer suffered a horrifying injury on a 66 yard completion to 1st team rookie All-OBF Chris Henry. Kimo Van Oelhoffen felt noticably bad as did pretty much everyone watching the game. Carson will always hold a spot in my heart. He was the franchise QB for Back2Boerigterball, 2005. His injury, however, could not be chalked up to anything other than Jesus' plan.

In a postgame interview in 2003 Kinta was quoted as saying:

"I think a lot of people don't understand the faith I have," Kitna said. "I think a lot of people kind of brush it off as, 'Ah, he just keeps hammering people with it,' but I trust wholeheartedly in Jesus Christ, and I trust that he knows exactly what is best for me. And when we go out on the field, all he asks me to do is go out and play as hard as I can and not worry about the results. I was just very humbled by Jesus Christ and his ability for us to win that game."

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/tribune-review/sports/s_167726.html

My question for you, Jonny, is where was Jesus this week? While I didn't throw down on the Bungals getting the 3, I know a bunch of people who did. You might say Jesus cost some good Americans their hard earned paralegaling dollars. SALT.

2. Shaun Alexander, RB, Seattle Seahawks

So before Shaun Alexander could set the single season touch down record in 2005, he had reservations about returning to football. Before the 2004 season, Alexander strongly considered retiring from football to join the ministry.

After all, why wouldn't he? In the NFL he gets paid 8 million bucks to play football. It's not like God didn't pass him a good hand in the holy game of life.

But thankfully for football lovers, Shaun returned. And for good reasoms: both Jesus and maybe even money were steering him in this direction.

"I am a Christian that loves the Lord that just happens to play football,” Shaun says, “that happens to get to be on cool TV shows, that happens to get to be on commercials. I’m a Godly man first. I chase after God. I play football for the sole reason to give God Glory.”

http://www.cbn.com/entertainment/Sports/700club_shaunalexander111005.asp

Well, Shaun, hopefully God grabs you a victory this weekend, as we here at Y2K hate the 'Skins. But next week hosting Chicago, let's have God throw a W in the direction of the NEW BEARS, again for the sake of Yanni the Great and my eventual trip to Vegas with Sharpsfade.

So now we get to the #1 guy. This player and former Knick great really helped me to understand what it means to love Jesus. This PG and former Heisman Trophy winner brought the post game prayer to the garden and even the concept of Jesus and sports to the popular stage. So for all this and much, much more, we are thankful.

1. Charlie Ward, G, New York Knicks

For years, Jesus led Charlie to maybe the most boring career in the history of New York Knicks Point Guards. When Ward was in the game, Knicks fans yearned for bad quarterbacks on the local teams that they might be able to say ruefully that the Heisman Trophy winner Charlie Ward was the best quarterback in NYC, as well as the nightly 4-for-11 performance of Chris Childs. Crazy Chris was a Knicks legend, but not as big a fan of Jesus, keeping him out of the starting lineup for the Knicks championship runs of the late 90's.

Jesus led Charlie to a long and holy basketball career in the same way he has led me to a long and inspired career of blogging. Along the way, Jesus inspired Charlie to reveal that it was the Jews who were guilty of deicide, as he revealed to New York Times Magazine reporter Eric Konigsberg. As Konigsberg wrote in his article about one of the Bible Studies classes led by Charlie Ward:

"In the first class I attended, on the road in Washington in December, everyone asked me about my religious background. They talked about the Old Testament and cultural identity, and they had a lot of questions about dietary laws. Now, participating in the study-book exercises in Milwaukee, I thought I was doing fine; the players seemed interested in Judaism. They started calling me 'E'. I fancied that the seeds of an interfaith fellowship were being planted.

Then Ward said, 'Jews are stubborn, E. But tell me, why did they persecute Jesus unless he knew something they didn't want to accept?'

'What?'

'They had his blood on their hands'."

(Editor's Note: I ran a search of Google images for a picture from "The Passion of the Christ" here in the New York Office so that we might illustrate exactly what Charlie was talking about, but frankly the pictures were too revolting that me and Sip over in the San Francisco Office decided not to put one up at all. I've never seen it, but there's some sick shit in that movie, huh?)

So there you have it, folks, the Gospel according to Charlie.

That just about wraps up our tribute to the good man, Jesus Christ. Thank you, JC, for your contributions both Biblically and to the world of sports.

While you've been dead for some time, your legacy has certainly remained.

Vaya con Dios, Jesus.

SM

RIP Giants and 5 Things To Look Forward To

So as many of you know, the Giants played the worst football game maybe ever on Sunday. The text messages that followed were, each of them, equal parts sad and hilarious. For instance:

Happy Will wrote: Happy Will is officially not happy
Johnny Boozwell: At least we still have the Knicks
Jimmy Thumbs: I feel like I want to shit down Eli's throat
Tenacious Rebounder Bryan: It hurts. Bad. Real Bad.
T Kid: That was embarassing
Mama Momo: Sip, you better marry a Jewish girl or your grandmother will spin in her grave
Angry Irish Patty: I'm embarassed 4 defending Eli all season that yokel fuck
Little Shorty from SF: What the fuck

But as you all know from yesterday's post, it was Camper Zach who put it right: "Hey man, at least 24 starts in one week".

So, yes, we're caught in what is undoubtedly one of the worst times of the year for a sports fan: the post-football, pre-baseball interlude that can only be dominated by basketbal if you're a fan of a team with an actual pulse (3 wins in a row? Did somebody say New Knicks?). Salt.

The good news is that in the midst of our post-New York football Giants depression, there are 5 things to be excited about in the month we've got before pitchers and catchers report to camp. If these don't work, well, you can try Eli's method, and get over the depression like a true New York Giant.

Oh, to be young and a sports god in New York. Salt on the Sip.

1. Baron Davis' quest for a little blonde Jewish girl from the marina

See, Baron Davis, aka BD, Boom Dizzle, is about as cool in person as he looks like he should be on television. After every game Baron has some of the finer groupies that the Bay Area has to offer waiting for him in the players' lounge. Usually decked out in a nice suit and a flat brim (thereby adhering to the NBA dress code), Boom takes care of his business. But all he wants is the one thing he can't have.

According to our official SF, Baron repeatedly seeks "a little white jewish girl from the marina." See, the marina is the yuppy part of SF often frequented by the likes of SM and his SF roledog, a young Maciej Lampe.

Unfortunately for BD, and Mama Sip, the truth is that SF isn't exactly loaded with the women of Yisrael. Oh well. I have a goal now: to take care of my favorite PF from Crossroads. So for my many female readers out there, if you're little, blonde and Jewish, give me a shout. It'll get you a good story/notch on your belt and it'll get me some instant street cred with half of the NBA's coolest backcourt.

2. Spring Training and Eric Byrnes' first spring training in Oakland

It looks like the Mets are pretty much put together for '06. Lets pray that Pedro gets back to form and that the spring leaves us healthy and happy.

Right now I still think the Mets are one Pedro injury away from being a .500 team, which, needless to say, scares the pants out of me. We will see.

Of more immediate importance, we here at Yankees2000 are rooting for our Player of the Week, also an early Player of the Year candidate, Eric Byrnes.

Coming off a relatively subpar season (10, 40, .226) our boy Byrnesy can only go up. This guy is the type of player that everyone would love, and at 2.5 mil per he is earning more that me and AFOMG will in the next 75 years. And he is worth every penny.

3. The Gauntlet II

For those of you not already on board, damn you're missing out. This show is pure entertainment. 32 Real World/Road Rules veterans competing in amazing physical challenges for the chance at prize money, D-list celeb status and Y2K Show of the Year status.

The characters range in age from about 21 to 45, see Mark from the first Road Rules for instance.

But there are some groundrules. Among them, every dude basically has to be completely roided out and every girl has to be somewhat hot, except Cara, who is a queen, and possess an SAT score no more than 2/3 the score of SM.

It is unreal. My favorite characters by far? The Brad, the greatest meathead of all time, he of the "why you beefin' dog?" fame; Jaime, the Buddhist from New Orleans who has a proper zen analysis for everything; and Cara the playmate who is just super hot.

And, in the further future, it may not get better than when Wes from Austin makes his debut on the Gauntlet III.

According to Wes, "All we did at Arizona St. was prepare for the Gauntlet. I live for these challenges. Doing challenges and slaying groupies, that's all I know."

This could be a nice way to get the message board going again (Hint to readers: Get your shit going with that. The more you say, the more we can say.)

4. A possible Bears vs. Patriots Super Bowl

The reason: Yanni the Great.

Yanni has achieved gambling legend status for two of the greatest futures bets of all time.

Back in 2002, he took down over 60K at 45:1 for the Nets to make the NBA Finals in Jason Kidd's first season with the Nets.

Then, this last offseason he took down another 50k with an Astros to the World Series bet that he made when they were about 10 games out in the start of June. When he called SM and asked for his opinion, my words, "you're better off taking that money and using it as toilet paper". Just shows you what I know.

So anyway, Yanni the great has done it again.

This year, about 2 months ago when the Pats were off to an impressive 5-5 start, Yanni threw down $5,000 at 20:1 for the Pats to win the Super Bowl.

In addition, about 2 weeks later he threw down another G at 130:1 on the Pats to beat the Bears in the super bowl. (Note: SM has $10 of that bet)

So if for no other reason, root for gambling history and root for Yanni. Pats vs. New Bears!

As Casey Casum once said, "It's a nice idea."

5. This Sunday is the best day of the New Year

First, playoff football. Should be exciting, always is. But more importantly (and for me to say that when we're talking about something being more important than football should tell you how serious I am), the greatest show ever to hit television returns.

That's right, Jack is back.

When his gun is up like that, you know he means business. For all of you that don't watch, you're foolish. Even my parents watch. It is that good. Find me a person that doesn't like 24 and I will wear a Yankee hat to opening day at Shea.

So after what is supposedly a couple if years of hiding, someone needs Jack to save the day. And you know what that means? Monday nights for the next 4 months will be perfect.

So salt to the Giants. Come on guys, We got a lot more than we possibly could have expected and we are still young. The line on both sides will get better. Eli will get better. The secondary can't get worse. There is a lot to be excited for in 06-07.

Seriously though, get on the Gauntlet. Even you, Chip. It is cheap, amazing entertainment.

I know Kung Fu,

SM

A Note on Pictures

Hey guys, a little administrative note on the pictures that will appear on this site. I was speaking to my friend Culture (most of you probably know him as the prolific street legend Sepa) over the weekend, and he mentioned that some of the pics we've had so far aren't exactly SFW. As a matter of fact, some of them are downright NSFW.

NSFW, for those not in the know, is cyber-speak for Not Safe for Work. Given that the overwhelming majority of our audience checks the site at work, this can cause problems. With that in mind, henceforth we'll throw a little note of warning in at the beginning of the post in case the day's picture is remotely NSFW, and we'll do what we can to keep the picture lower in the post so that it's not immediately visible when you first load the page.

That said, don't worry. We have no plans to throw anything racier onto the site than the pictures of Kristin or Jessica Alba, unless ratings plunge and we get desperate, in which case all bets are off. Barring that contingency, however, you needn't worry about the visual content here being anything more scandalous than what you've already seen. Moreover, once the season starts we anticipate having baseball-related pictures up on the site more than anything else.

But who knows, we may need to keep posting babes. Keep an eye out for the NSFW label if you need to be cautious at work. No worries for today, just a picture of Eric Byrnes bein' Eric Byrnes. You can find today's post just below...

- A.F.O.M.G.

The G-Men, Eric Byrnes, and Sir

Man do the Giants stink. I woke up at 9:30 Sunday morning fired up as ever. After a long night of karaoke singing and an intense late night brawl (don't worry Chip, your prize son remains in tact) I was ready. This was it. No one comes into our house and pushes us around.

Three hours and about7 pitchers of bud/nattie/warm piss light later and I had watched the worst game I've ever seen.

I sent out this choice text message to some pals:

"I feel like I took the nastiest shit of my life and then realized there was no toilet paper."

I think that kind of summed it up pretty good. So anyway, I'm not going to talk any more about the Giants. That is simply depressing. Instead I'm going to tell you about my Friday night with Eric Byrnes, pictured below, maybe the coolest man in the world.

So I'm sitting there at one of San Fran's swankiest nightspots. It's me, Big Maciej, a few other pals and biscuits and the official small forward of Y2k. Big Fella calls me over to introduce me to his friend AP, a scout/video guy for the A's who will hopefully get me a job. (Note: Pops, tried calling you at home and in Connecticut. Of course when I tried the cell phone it was not on. Get your life together.)

This guy is the man, real friendly, I buy him a few drinks and we talk shop. He tells me how everyone thinks A-Rod is a joke for now deciding to play with the US. How Hudy is the man and Mulder is a jerk. He talks about his close frienship with Barry Zito who he describes as the most laid back coolest dude ever.

Then he tells me to hold on a second. He has a phone call.

It's Eric Byrnes.

"That was Byrnesy," he said. "He's going to come meet us."

I am so fired up. I love Byrnesy. OBF J Schubes loved him in B-more and I was dying to get him back at Shea. Salt.

So a half hour later and in walks the jack of clubs. Sporting a long sleeve t-shirt in San Fran's swankiest "spot", Byrnesy comes up to the bar. Me, MD, the scout and my pal Jeremy, in town from NY, are there taking some shots. Byrnesy roles up and gives everyone the most enthusiatic greeting I've ever seen:

"Sip, what up man? Let's rock out, brother."

This guy is the biggest combo of skateboarder and meathead that I've ever seen.

And he is the fucking man.

We all sit there for a little while having some drinks, talking shop.

"I must have nailed every girl in Baltimore," Byrnesy said. "Let's find some tail."

Byrnesy wandered off for a little while. I swear to god this guy is on liquid crack. Ordinarily, people just can't be that enthusiastic/happy naturally, but somehow he was. And he wasn't even really drinking. I think it's just natural to him.

About ten minutes later I go to take a piss where I see Byrnesy drowning the weasel himself.

"Byrnesy," I say. " I need a favor."

"Sure thing, Sip, what's up?"

"So my friend Jason is a diehard Baltimore Orioles fan and you were his guy. Let me get him on the horn and just give him a shout if you don't mind."

"Yeah no problem, man."

So I call J. It's about 11:30 PT, so 2:30 back on the East coast. I get his voice mail and start talking.

"Yo J it's Sip, live from the stall with your boy Byrnesy, hold on one second."

I pass Eric the phone and he says: "Hello... Jason you there?"

He's completely dumbfounded until I tell him that he is talking to a voicemail, that there is no one on the lie. He acknowledges that and in his Jeff Spikoli charm shouts, "Yo, Jason. What's up, brother? Fuck Baltimore and Fuck Peter Angelos. Later bro."

From there he passes me the phone and leads me to the bar where we rip a couple more shots and he signals me to come check out the scene.

Most of the rest of a night was a blur. The Big Fella took us to a strip club, then got us kicked out when he gently removed the bra of one of the workers, only to get my pal Jeremy, whose lap she was sitting on, almost killed by security cause they thought it was him.

Nonetheless, the night was fantastic.

Eric Byrnes always seemed like the coolest cat in the game, but now it can only be confirmed.

All is well out west. Today I have to call this guy with the A's who said he'll take care of me. Knock on wood I say. This could be the first step in the door.

Hope you all had a good weekend. A lot better than the New York football Giants.

As Camper Zach brilliantly put it in a post-loss text message, "At least Jack Bauer is coming back in a week".

Amen to that.

RIP G Baby

SM

TGIF and Jessica Alba

Man do I need a weekend. My friends joke with me that I'm living the life these days, but truth is, unemployment ain't all it's cracked up to be. As a matter of fact, it's kind of depressing.

So for all you guys at work today, enjoy your weekend. I'm sure you'll appreciate it more than I will.

On a brighter note, Yankees2000 has pictures, thanks to a clever discovery by AFOMG in which he pressed one button on the home page that says "Pictures". Yup, we are really starting to get the hang of this blogging thing.

As I'm sitting here, having endured a 2-1 night that saw a bullshit three by the Illini destroy my dreams of a perfect 3-0, followed by a depressing Warriors loss, I, like many of you on your hungover Friday, need a pick me up.

So today, we pay tribute to Ms. Yankees2000.

This young talent needs little introduction. She broke into our hearts with her stunning performance in "Flipper", parlayed that into a lead role in the Devon Sawa smash, "Idle Hands" and truly won our hearts as Honey Daniels, a dancer/choreogragpher who sets out to steer her neighborhood's youths in the right direction while keeping it real, in the 2003 smash, "Honey".

Here she is, Ms. Yankees2000, Jessica Alba, posing in an exclusive photo shoot with the Y2K staff down in St. Croix.

















Using my one swanky Hollywood connection, I was actually able to grab a few minutes with Jessica who was sweet enough to give our little site a few moments of her invaluable time. Let's just say that this was the greatest phone call of my life.

SM: Hey Jessica, thanks for coming out.
JA: Very happy to be here, Sip. What's up?

SM: First off, how do you feel about being named Yankees2000's Biscuit of the Millennium?
JA: Haha, it's a real honor. Can't say I know much about your site, but I have heard good things and so I am definitely honored.

SM: Well we are honored that you are honored. So are you much of a sports fan?
JA: Actually, I am. I played a ton of sports as a kid, I was kind of a tomboy growing up so I played everything -- softball, basketball, tennis.

SM: But now you are such a biscuit!
JA: Quit it, Sip. But thank you!!!

SM: So what are some of your favorite teams?
JA: Well actually Sip, you're gonna like this. I grew up a huge Mets fan. Back in '86 I used to sit there with my father and watch all the games. I was 5 at the time so I'm just barely able to remember anything. But I loved that team. They were a ton of fun. So I've kind of stuck with the Mets since then.

SM: Those are the sexiest words these ears have ever heard. So what are your thoughts on next year's team?
JA: Honestly, I'm a little out of it these days, but I heard about Delgado and Wagner so that should help us a lot. Delgado's VoRP blows everything Doug Mientkiewicz and the rest of them managed to do last year right out of the water, plus Wagner's K-per-9 stats are out of this world next to Looper's.

SM: Wow.
JA: Yeah. I think they could win the division. Let's hope.

SM: So who's your favorite Met?
JA: Are you serious? Do you even have to ask that? Let's just say he's got the "Wright stuff".

SM: Yeah, we love him here too, almost as much as you. Word on the street is that you once went out with Derek Jeter. What the hell were you thinking?
JA: You jerk! I knew you'd bring that up. Let's just say Derek has that Tom Cruise thing going on. You know the whole, "I don't like women, but I need people to think I do". So we would go out for pizza and be spotted. In all honesty it was good publicity for me when my career was just starting to grow, and it got people off his back. But let's just say I don't think he's a very big fan of people like me.

SM: That's what we thought.
JA: Oops, can you cut that out?

SM: Afraid not, Jess. Can I call you Jess?
JA: No problem, that's what all my friends call me.

SM: So your birthday is April 28th. So is mine. Do you think there is something there?
JA: Of course, Sip. I love unemployed bloggers. You guys are much cooler than A-list celebrities and dudes named Paris.

SM: Thanks, Jess, needed that one. Anyway, I think it's about time we wrap it up. Anything else you want to say to your many fans here at Yankees2000?
JA: LET'S GO METS!!!

SM: You are perfect

That was probably the greatest 7 minute phone conversation of my life. Not sure what else to say.

Have a good weekend, all.

Check out A&E for what will be a weekend filled with "Point Break" and HBO Z for at least 5 showings of "Honey".

Vaya con dios,

SM

This Just In From the Confederacy of Witches

(Note: Today is a very exciting day here at Yankees2000. Not only has Sippy Momo made his much anticipated return, but today we've got pictures, or one picture at least, up on the site for the first time. We'll be tinkering with the format of the pictures in the days ahead, and if you've got any feedback (picture too big? too small? too scandalous? not scandalous enough?) let us know.

Anyway, we hope you enjoy the eye candy. Sip's piece, "What Happens in Cabo..." appears immediately after this brief entry.)

http://worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=48198

A friend (not Mr. Glass, different friend) sent me the above link and I simply had to post it. It turns out a gaggle of 350 witches commissioned by the New York Center for the Strange (they do good work!) has predicted, among other things, that there will be a Subway Series in the year ahead.

Better yet, according to these necromantic prognosticators, the Mets will triumph over the Yankees, validating not only our lives of suffering as the redheaded stepchildren of New York baseball, but also the Curse upon witch... err, which... this site is premised. So we got that going for us, which is nice.

Now before we get too excited, Mets fans should be advised that the witches have a 28 percent rate of success in their predictions (evidently this isn't the first time they've opined publicly on the year to come), and blah blah blah. Whatever. We've got the upper hand. The witches have spoken, boys and girls: Next Year is 2006.

And if they're wrong, well, Salem's beautiful in October...

- A.F.O.M.G.

What Happens in Cabo...

Before I start off, I just want to wish everyone a belated happy new year. I want to thank AFOMG for filling in for me for the last week or so and I hope 2006 has treated all of you as well as it has treated the Sip so far.

So as you all know, I was out in Cabo for the past week. And the thing I can say for certain is this: what happens in Cabo stays with you wherever you go. In fact, it is pretty much the exact opposite of what a young Kristin Cavallari said only some 12 months ago, before she captured our hearts in the beloved spank banks of many the Yankees2000 authors. For more information, see below:



Anyway, we love nothing so much around here at Y2K as a good list, so here it is: 5 Things that were there in Cabo and came back with me to the States.

1. My newfound gut.

Holy geez. Not sure I've ever been this fat. I'm not even at that point where I have a tan so it looks ok. I look like a fat guy with a tan. It's pretty sad.

On a positive note my new pal, Brucey, can be chalked up to 7 of the best days of my life. A special thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Steve Smith (not of the Carolina Panthers, 3 point speciailist or USC Trojan kind, but rather the huge beast of a No. Cal businessman type). These were the greatest hosts imaginable.

They put me and 12 others up at their Cabo Estate for a week of intense Frataticism. Tons of booze, football in the pool, amazing food etc. Really was just the perfect trip, but now I am paying the price for it.

2. My hatred for Delta Airlines and further endorsement for Jet Blue, the official airline of Y2k.

So first off Delta. They suck. I pulled an all-nighter last week before my 6:20 a.m. flight with plans of sleeping all the way to Salt Lake and then from Salt Lake to Cabo. Couldn't do it. This was thanks to the most turbulence-filled flight of my life. I got to the point where I was ready to die and almost wish I had. In retrospect, I am glad I did not.

But the way home is what took the cake.

So we had it all planned out. We had a 6:30-9:06 Mountain Time layover in Salt Lake City before our flight back to SF. It was me and Big Maciej, two excited sports fans ready for what was built up as one of the bigger college football games ever.

So we got to Utah and watched the first half. All was good, sure, fine, yeah. The plan, which we made sure was totally secure was to DVR the second half and come home and watch it.

That was fine. But not the rest. About 40 minutes into the flight there is an announcement from the pilot: "For all you who have tivoed the Rose Bowl close your ears." So i did. "The USC Trojans are up on Texas 31-23," I heard, even with my ears closed.

What a d-bag I thought, and kind of uttered the thought out loud, which caught the attention of an agreeing flight attendant. I was pissed, but not too mad.

I looked at Tim and we both came up with the idea that we would put on our headphones so as to drown out any future updates from the pilot. I listened to the Delta music channels because my laptop and Wayne's World (plan A) had run out of batteries thanks to a Cabo-to-Utah viewing of "Friday Night Lights" (AKA: a poor man's more serious version of "Varsity Blues").

This didn't work. Every time the pilot wanted to, he would make his announcement and the Delta music would shut off. Only with his next 6 announcements, there was no warning.

It was just:

USC 31-26
Texas 41-38 with :20

This was the first time in my entire life that I wanted to tell the pilot after a flight how much I hated it.

This guy ruined an ESPN instant classic.

I immediately saw text messages from Camper Zach that read "Vince Young is the OBF king."

In English, that's Vince young is amazing.

Nonetheless, I am asking that all Y2k readers boycott Delta. They suck. If I was on Jet Blue I could have watched history. Instead, it was spoiled by some dickwad pilot who somehow could listen to the game but I could not.

3. The greatness of the word 'salt'.

Just a quick one, but boy did I catch some zings with the, "Yeah, we have a lay over in Tim Lake City." Let's just say, people were impressed.

4. My gambling mishaps don't leave.

First off. South Carolina...Goooollllyyy. These guys are laying 4 and are 28-0 in the 2nd quarter. How do you guys not cover that game? I didn't think I could hate Steve Spurrier more than I did before the game even started, but a couple units later sure upped the Steve Spurrier hatred quotient right quick.

Then there was my beloved Dogs. You guys fought your hearts out. And you guys almost managed to come back from a 28-0 deficit, yeah, not nearly enough for the backdoor cover. Coach Richt, didn't you see that WV ran the same play every single time? Can't stop that.

Oh well, I made it out of Cabo still a ton of units in the green to the Friendly Bookie so I guess I have to stay happy.

5. I remain skeptical of Omar "Wheel and Deal" Minaya.

Had to talk about the Jae Seo deal. While the end result, another arm in the bullpen is nice, Wheel and Deal once again gave up too much, or did not get enough back.

Jae Seo isnt eligible for arbitration yet (he comes really cheap) and is coming off a very impressive season, READ: he is a cheap young pitcher with promise. In today's market, where Matt Morris is getting 9 mil per, Jae Seo is EXTREMELY VALUABLE. Is he that good? No. You can't expect him to repeat 2005.

But this guy is definitely a solid 4/5 for any team in baseball. With teams paying 6 million for these guys, to get him for around 1 mil is highway robbery.

Yet all Wheel and Deal could get was an unproven bullpen arm. Sure everything you read about Duaner Sanchez looks somewhat promising, but is this really all we can get?

Is it not worth it to have Seo coming out of the pen or having him down in Norfolk as an insurance 6th starter?

It's not like we are getting a proven commodity here. If not for his name, I would have hardly remembered this guy and I watch a ton of meaningless late night Wednesday night baseball games.

Again, Omar gave up too much. You don't trade starters for bullpen help unless:

1. You need to shed payroll (this deal would make sense if we were giving up Benson or if it was setting up something else )
2. You have 5 better starters (Zambrano is not better than Seo)
3. You are significantly upgrading your pen (read: trading for a Tom Gordon-like setup guy)

But if Peter Gammons has a hard on for cheap pitching, then so do I, which is why I don't like this deal.

And in retrospect, I hate the Cameron deal more too. At 6 mil per, Cameron is now a steal in CF, but that is a whole other topic of convo.

Anyway, it's great to be back in the States. It's turning into crunch time here with this whole job situation. If any of you know any team anywhere in the country or know someone, drop me a line. Time to get down to business, put the women and children to bed, and go looking for some fucking dinner.

'06 is '06

SM

Seo Long?

Apologies for the title, but I just couldn't resist. No matter how stupid or contrived or predictable these tabloid headlines have become, it seems they've become pretty deeply ingrained.

Before turning to the news of the day, let's take a moment to remember some of our favorite constanstly rehashed tabloid headlines, shall we?

Who could forget the back pages blaring "Leit's Out!" every time Big Al authored another gem?

How many times have we seen a "Wright On!" or "Wright Stuff" on our backpages after another late-game heroic from David Wright?

How about all the mornings when you woke up crushed to find "Johnny Be Bad!" in big white letters reminding of you of the John Franco meltdown the night before?

And remember all the times you saw a mighty "Sieg Heil!" in deference to another strong, pure, and triumphant outing from Aaron Heilman?

OK, the Heilman one hasn't happened yet, and while we wish for his continued success in 2006, we should also hope that the Post and the Daily News keep that one on the shelf for the time being.

But the rest of them we've seen a million times. If a recent report out of Newsday is to believed, however, we can all expect to cross the familiar "Seo Good" or the Thomas Shiah Special "Seo Bad" off our lists, replaced as it will be by the title of this post on the backpages (or if not the backpages, somewhere in our hometown tabloids) tomorrow morning.

That's because the Mets are set to send Seo to the Los Angelos Dodgers for relief pitcher Duaner Sanchez, if Newsday's Ken Davidoff is to be believed. It's worth mentioning that no other media outlet is yet reporting the trade, which Davidoff said was "all but finalized".

So it's not a done deal at the moment, but it makes enough sense to be plausible. Omar and Co. identified starting pitching as their principle article of strength this offseason when it came to the bargaining table. It is worth asking whether they shouldn't have identified Mike Cameron as their most valuable asset, particularly when it was clear that at least one of the two richest franchises in baseball (the Yankees and Red Sox) was going to be in need of a centerfielder, but what's done is done I suppose.

Anyway, the Seo-for-Sanchez swap would seem to complete the Mets' bullpen facelift and set the starting rotation at

1. Pedro Martinez
2. Tom Glavine
3. Kris Benson
4. Steve Trachsel
5. Victor Zambrano

with Heilman, Brian Bannister, or Alay Soler available as spot starters in case of injury.

Given Pedro's health issues, Benson's tendency to break down, Glavine's middle-age, Trachsel's back, and Zambrano's general shittiness, I'd say a quality 6th starter was less a luxury and more a necessity, so here's hoping that Bannister can make it happen at the major league level (and in fairness, he's certainly earned the opportunity to make his case), Alay Soler can turn his Winter League success into Major League viability, or that Heilman can use his two pitches effectively across 7 innings in the event of an emergency.

But for now let's assume the best case scenario: our starters stay healthy and ready to take the ball every fifth day. What about our bullpen, what's it looking like with Duaner on board?

The book on Sanchez is that he's got mid-90s heat, an above average change-up, a pretty good splitter, and a shitty curveball (courtesy of Matthew Cerrone over at MetsBlog). In 2005, the 26-year-old Sanchez turned it all into a 4-7 record with a 3.73 ERA and 8 saves in 12 oppportunities. He's also got the cool glasses-goggles combo that looks pretty intimidating.

Looking beyond the glory stats, here's some more information to keep in mind:

- Sanchez posted a 1.35 WHIP last season, struck out 7.9 batters per 9 innings, and limited righthanded batters to a .182 average, .318 slugging, and .589 OPS in 148 at-bats. So that's the good news. Against lefties, however, the numbers are pretty ugly. Lefties hit .310 against Sanchez with a .484 slugging percentage and an .856 OPS.

- He was a far more successful pitcher at home than on the road, but given that Dodger Stadium is every bit the pitcher's park that Shea is, that's probably not worth getting excited about.

- In September 2004, with the Dodgers in a heated pennant race, Sanchez compiled a 1.69 ERA in 16 innings.

- Looking at his month-by-month pitching breakdown, it seems that Sanchez can be somewhat streaky. To wit, he posted a sub-3 ERA in four months last year and an above-6 ERA in the other two (including a ghastly 7.02 in June). When he's bad, he's bad.

But on the whole he's pretty good. Is he optimal value for Seo? That's hard for me to say given that I'm not privy to all the players being dangled before the Mets' front office, but it's definitely a move that addresses a primary need. Seo's always been hard to read. He was good in 2003, bad in 2004, and great in 2005. It's possible that he turned the corner last year -- he wouldn't be the first guy to take his game to the next level at age 28 -- but chances are his true value is more along the lines of 2003 than either of his two seasons at the extremes.

There's a strong urge in baseball fandom toward recency over primacy; that is, we remember how someone's done for us lately vs. how they've done on the whole in their careers. Every once in a while you'll see a middle-of-the-road pitcher who becomes dominant as if someone flipped a switch (Aaron Small did so this past season), but more often than not he won't sustain that level of greatneess.

Jae Seo was almost certainly as good as he was ever going to be in 2005. Trading him now is not the end of the world, and it could prove shrewd in short order. If he goes on to become the next Greg Maddux then, well, it won't be the first time the Mets gave up on a pitcher too early.

But back to the pullpen. We all knew the bullpen was shit last year. If we were trying to remain optimistic in the run-up to the start of the 2005 season, Manny Aybar and Braden Looper disabused us of that optimism in the season opener.

The Mets did well to keep one of their bullpen's bright spots from a year ago, Heilman, rather than trade him for the one-year rental that Danys Baez figured to be. Sanchez makes the league minimum in salary and will be under the Mets' control through 2009.

But let's come back from the future for the moment. In 2006 we're looking at a bullpen centering around Billy Wagner, Aaron Heilman, and Sanchez, to be complemented by Juan Padilla, Chad Bradford, Heath Bell, et al. That has the makings of a more than competent bullpen, even though it may be lacking in lefty specialists. One thing to watch out for, however, especially if Sanchez becomes the 8th inning guy, is that Wagner may be called on for more 4-out saves than he may be used to. If a lefty steps to the plate in a big spot, Willie shouldn't wait to go to his closer.

I don't love the idea of Tricky Vic being our fifth starter. It's also less than ideal that if one of our starters should go down that our best options for a replacement are Heilman, who we'll rely on out of the 'pen, Bannister, who's never thrown a pitch in the big leagues, and Soler, who's never thrown a pitch in the United States.

But if we look at the Mets' primary needs coming into the offseason, you'd have to say that Omar has addressed the great bulk of them successfully enough. Power hitter for first base? Check. Successor to Mike Piazza? Check. Bullpen help? Check. Second baseman? Riiight.

If the Sanchez deal goes through, there's one hole left to fill. The Daily News had word of the Mets being interested in Bret Boone. God help us if that's true.

That's all for now kids. Sippy Momo should be back tomorrow. What happens in Cabo, stays in Cabo... unless you run a blog with thinly veiled personal anonymity. I'm sure we've all got a lot to look forward to tomorrow -- until then.

- A.F.O.M.G.

Genesis... and Moving On

I hate to do it, Mets fans. I hate to drudge up what is probably the most painful memory of your life as a fan of the boys in orange and blue (and black). If you'd rather not revisit the night of October 26, 2000, take your mouse to the top of your browser, find a new site, and come back tomorrow when Game 5 of the 2000 World Series can once again recede into that corner of your mind where you store your darkest memories.

But for now I can't help but bring it up. You see, this past weekend I watched an unusual amount of non-24 television (although I sure as hell caught a lot of 24 for that matter). Most of said television was The Twilight Zone, which was amazing, in spite of the slack-jawed, lazy-minded gawkers with whom I watched such classic episodes as "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet", "To Serve Man", and "Time Enough at Last".

(Annie, if you're reading this, just so we're clear, that wasn't actually Hitler in that one episode. The idea was that he was metaphorically alive anywhere there was racism or bigotry. It was a metaphor -- cleaver, huh?)

Now, if I had limited my television to Rod Serling's fifth dimension everything would have proceeded as usual and I probably wouldn't have had anything to blog about today. As it happened, however, my scrolling led me past the dreaded Channel 30, the abyss that is the YES Network. Evidently anxious to start the new year by looking back at the triumphs of seasons past, YES execs decided to replay the fateful fifth game of the 2000 World Series.

For those who don't know, the Mets lost Game 5 of the 2000 World Series to the Yankees 4-2. With the win, the Yankees won the World Series, beating the Mets four games to one.

That game was a landmark in our lives as fans of the Mets, haters of the Yankees, and, at least in the case of Sippy Momo and myself, writers of obscure weblogs.

In the very first post here at Yankees 2000, Sippy Momo wrote the following:

The date was October 26th, 2000. Maybe the worst day of my life. I watched my beloved Mets lose to the Yankees, the team I hated more than anything in the world, in the biggest series of my life.

Watching this game get rebroadcast was like a dagger in my heart. I sat there and thought about all the Yankee fans watching the same broadcast with the toothiest of grins spread wide upon their faces.

But there were also images that melted my heart rather than stabbing it.

I saw Big Al, the warrior who threw 140-plus pitches that night, who came within one strike of going 9 full innings, before allowing a walk on a full count to Posada... a single to Brosius... and a goddamned ground ball with eyes to Luis Sojo (of all people).

I saw Jay Payton and the immaculate throw to the plate that would have gunned down Posada if only it had been maybe two feet further to the right.

I saw Bobby Valentine, pacing delicately back and forth in the Mets' dugout, a look of humbled incredulity spread across his face.

I thought of the more youthful A.F.O.M.G., hopeful until the last, bursting out of his living room chair (the same chair I was watching the rebroadcast from) when the ball burst off of Piazza's bat with Benny Agbayani (!!) on second. I was as certain yesterday as I was on that day some 5-plus years ago that Piazza had tied the game with a home run. But no, the ball jammed him ever so slightly, and instead of falling down safely over the wall, the ball fell into Bernie Williams' glove in left centerfield.

So I saw a lot of painful moments in Mets history yesterday afternoon, but none of them made me run for the 1986 Mets tape. They were hard to watch, but in a perverse way they were also somewhat satisfying. At long last, I feel like I can turn the page on that 2000 team, on that last great era of Mets baseball. You see, I'm genuinely excited again about what the Mets have the potential to do in the year ahead. I honestly believe things are coming around again back at Shea. The pieces are falling into place.

So how about this. I'm just going to throw this out there as the official new slogan for 2006:

This year is the year that last year was advertised to be when we said next year is now.

Catchy, ain't it?

OK, it could use an ad agency's touch to smooth out some of the edges. But I'll tell you what. Rather than looking back and dwelling on the disappointment of losing the 2000 World Series, I found myself looking forward, optimistic at last that newer and better memories could be forged in the years ahead.

In 2002 that option was pretty much nonexistant. In 2003, a kid named Jose Reyes showed up and offered a hint of promise before doing his best Mr. Glass impersonation. In 2004, it was a guy named David Wright breathing life into the organization and the fan base. Then Omar came on board. First he brought in Pedro and Carlos Beltran. Now he's delivered Carlos Delgado and Billy Wagner.

In the coming weeks, Omar might actually find a way to turn Jae Seo and Kaz Matsui (!!) into Danys Baez. With any luck, he won't find a way to turn Lastings Milledge into Manny Ramirez, but ignoring that possibility for the moment, Mets fans have a lot to be excited about heading into 2006.

As I watched that horrible game in 2000, yeah, some really shitty memories were conjured up. How could they not be? But I also got to see some of my favorite players on one of my favorite Mets teams ever one more time again. Monster, Robin, Big Al, Timo (!!), Bobby V., and all the rest. It was like when the Ghost of Christmas Past takes Ebenezer Scrooge back to Old Fezziwigs pub. Like Scrooge I watched my old friends and felt happy to see them as they once were.

And truly, those days are gone. It's five years in the past and with Piazza gone now, there is not a single player from the 2000 team who is still a Met.

But you know what, it's alright. It's alright because they still gave us some great memories in spite of how things finished, and it's alright because at last we have a team capable of providing better memories in the year ahead.

Is our team in 2006 as good as the one in 2000? Maybe, maybe not. But the pieces are in place, and something amazin' could happen. Hey, it's possible, and that's a lot more than you could've said about any of those teams between 2002 and 2004.

Am I writing this post because my new year's resolution was to be more optimistic? To be less stubborn and to try new things? Actually, the answer is no. I didn't make that resolution, but I'm adopting it now, a few days late. So onward and upward, Mets, I'm right there with you.

- A.F.O.M.G.

Next Year Is Now

It's been a long time coming, but at long last, next year really is now. We finally made it, boys and girls. Take some time to breathe it all in.

Moving on, so yeah, remember when I said there were no vacations here? Well, turns out I didn't quite mean that. I'm just waking up now and I'm in no shape to write, besides there's not much of substance going on with the Mets or Yankees right now.

There was, of course, the weekly Manny Ramirez rumblings. The latest rumor is a four-way trade between the Mets, Devil Rays, Orioles, and Red Sox. At the end of the shuffle, the Mets would be up Manny Ramirez and Danys Baez, and down Lastings Milledge, Jae Seo or Aaron Heilman, and Kris Benson.

This trade appears unlikely at the moment for any number of reasons. The Mets do not want to part with Heilman (again, who'd have ever thought that Heilman would be a deal breaker?), the Orioles don't want Benson, and then there are a series of issues between the other teams involved.

As readers know by now, I'm pretty conflicted about the idea of trading for Manny. If we trade for Manny, basically we need to win it all in 2006 or else we're kind of screwed. That's a tall order. No matter how good your team is, there's still an element of luck and good fortune when it comes to victory in October, and putting all your eggs in one season's basket (or two seasons' at best) seems like a lot to ask for, especially with the good-not-great pitching staff we have.

Also, Baez has repeatedly said he doesn't want to be a setup man, and with Billy Wagner in the 'pen, the closer's spot is taken. Given that Baez will be a free agent after the season, it sounds like he's got 1-year rental written all over him if the Mets were to comlpete a trade for him. Parting with Heilman would be too high a price for a one and done kind of player.

So the final verdict on this trade is that the Mets shouldn't go for it. Try and work out a trade for Baez separately in a Jae Seo swap and that I'd support. Some Mets fans think Seo is the real deal after his strong 2005; I'm not convinced. His value may be peaking right now, if we could trade a package centering around Seo for Baez, I'd do it.

Anyway, the other big news is that I've lost a ton of respect for the readership of the New York Daily News. The weekly poll at New York's only true daily showed that 86% of readers felt that Johnny Damon wasn't a traitor for signing with the Yankees.

Now look, the overwhelming majority of these people must have been Yankee fans. Some of them want to stick by their new acquisition, fine. But 86 percent? Imagine if Bernie had signed with the Red Sox all those years ago. You think Yankee fans would have thought him a traitor? Somehow I suspect they would have. Revel in your new centerfielder if you wish, but let's be honest here. The guy's worse than Nina Myers and all those Yankee fans know it.

Anyway, that's it for today. We'll have regular content back up tomorrow, but as for today that's all I got.

- A.F.O.M.G.