The Top Chef Finale Drinking Game

There's a lot to be excited about this time of year. There's the holidays and the promise of time away from the office or school. Without the nightly time commitment of baseball there's time to catch up on your Netflix list, post to your website more often, or devote more time to your personal passions / extracurricular activities.

Some would contend that there's also the excitement of the Hot Stove, and while I admit I have an extra bit of anticipation in my fingertips each time I start typing espn.com or metsblog.com, ultimately, this is a pretty uninspiring offseason for me.

Essentially, I don't think there's any combination of moves out there that makes this team better than the Phillies next season. That includes adding both John Lackey and Matt Holliday (let alone just one of them).

I'll expand on this in a post later this week, but more and more I'm coming to the conclusion that the best course of action is a 2003-2004 type offseason, filled with minor moves, no blockbuster signings, and general unexcitement.

That being the case, for the Glass Man this time of years gives me a chance to follow my favorite television shows more closely, including Top Chef, which has its finale tonight at 10pm.

It's been a great season of Top Chef. For one thing, the chefs seemed to be really strong this year, particularly compared to last season. In last year's finale there were three candidates, one of whom should have won, one of whom shouldn't have won but evidently had a chance, and another who had no business being there.

This year it's anyone's competition to win. Personally, I think Kevin deserves to win it, given that he's basically dominated the competition all season, but brothers Michael and Bryan Voltaggio are clearly very strong chefs. Each of them deserves to be there; each of them could win it all.

To ease the tension of the final hour of Top Chef, why not have some fun with it and make the action on screen a drinking game? Submitted for you here are a few rules to get you going.

I'm not sure how large a Top Chef-viewing audience we have here at Y2K, but if you have any other rules to suggest, please, submit them on the comment board. 

• 2 drinks: Each time Kevin's food is referred to as "simple"
• 4 drinks: Each time Michael refers to Kevin's cooking as "simple"
  
• 3 drinks: Each time Michael insults anyone else's cooking
• 5 drinks: Each time you get the sense that Michael completely loathes his brother
• 1 drink (for sake of maintaining, to the extent possible, everyone's sobriety): Each time it's mentioned or insinuated that Michael and Bryan have a "sibling rivalry"
• 1 drink: Each time you find yourself wondering why Padma went with bangs
• 1 drink: Each time you find yourself wondering how long it took Michael to give his hair that *perfect* level of spikiness
  
• 3 drinks: Each time Tom Colicchio looks some combination of bemused and offended by a contestant's answer to a question during Judges' Table
• 2 drinks: Each time Kevin thanks the judges or says anything sycophantic during Judges' Table
• 2 drinks: Each time Bryan mentions his kids
• 1 drink: Each time one of the contestants says they didn't have enough time during the challenge
  
• 2 drinks: Each time a contestant, at Judges' Table, defensively insists he wouldn't have done anything differently with his meal if he'd had extra time

So that's the list; I suggest watching tonight with your unhealthiest glass of eggnog. Happy drinking and let's go Kevin!

- A.F.O.M.G.