P.E.D. Panic

At the one pole, there's claptrap artist Jay Mariotti of the Chicago Sun-Times, railing against the possible acquisition by the Cubs of an excellent player and apparent great guy who admitted to taking steroids once. Jay cares not for your apologies.

So now, as the Cubs consider making a major deal with the Baltimore
Orioles for Roberts, we're supposed to conveniently forgive this episode as one
simple, human mistake? He didn't tell the truth, people. He didn't tell the
truth, people ... What is more important: (a) trying to win your first World
Series in 100 years by acquiring an elite leadoff hitter and second baseman ...
; or (b) maintaining integrity as an organization during a scandalous period in
baseball history?

I choose integrity.

Good for you, champ. Try not to slip and fall off your soapbox.

And then at the far extreme there's dogged Marty Noble, the Walter Mondale of Mets beat reporters, taking questions on MLB.com.

Q: Mr. Noble, you don't seem to take a hard or harsh stand on many
things -- Randolph's role in the Mets' collapse, Jose Reyes' terrible September,
Carlos Delgado's awful season, Guillermo Mota's pathetic pitching. Why not?
-- Alex D., Lincoln Park, N.J.

A: I'm not sure it's my place to take
a stand -- hard, harsh, soft or otherwise -- on anything. What I do when I cover
a game is write what I've seen through my own eyes (and glasses), which have
seen a lot of baseball. I can say this: most baseball situations are not as
black and white as most people think. Almost everything is gray -- which is to
say, there are extenuating circumstances.

If that isn't the biggest bunch of wishy-washy, bleeding heart, liberal four-eyed horseshit I've ever heard, I don't know what is. It's not your job to take a stand on Jose Reyes deciding that running out pop flies isn't important? It's not your job to take a stand on a .230 batting average? It's not your job to take a stand on Omar trading away a proud brother for two pale imitations of beisbol players? Come on, now. What are you, Marty ... chicken?

But, all that said, they're both wrong. It is of course possible for writers to take stands on any number of issues without compromising the integrity of their writing or their coverage, just as it is possible to iterate those stands without coming across as a complete tool. Take steroids. The Mets last year employed several folks named in the Mitchell Report, as well as one guy who'd tested positive and had to sit out for 50 games, the penalty for a first-time offender. Say hi to Guillermo.

And, of course, there was discussion both here and elsewhere about whether or not the Mets had compromised any principles for doing so. Without bothering to check for the precise language, I recall that very few folks were worried about the moral implications of signing Mota to a new contract, but were more concerned about whether the suspension would affect his value or productivity. It seemed to have quite the effect on both, but that's not the point. It was possible to stand in judgement of him as a man and player, while others were more sanguine about the P.E.D. use, and still maintain consensus on the appropriateness of the risk from the club's perspective. Many fans were able to accomplish this, as were some media outlets.

Everyone plays by the same rules. If you serve your suspension and you can still play, you're fine. If you serve your suspension and suck, you're Alex Sanchez. There's no problems either way. The children of Queens will survive regardless.

Beyond the moral implications or steroid use, however, there's the practical considerations. P.E.D. revelations are treated by most reporters as massive scandals deserving of blowout coverage and scrutiny. Whatever your thoughts are on that, it's fairly clear that steroid stories can dominate a team's media landscape for days or weeks at a time, distracting a club and/or its fans from the task of winning ballgames. That's the way of things. Come late summer, the Marlins could be running away with the division in one of the greatest success stories of all time -- if Dan Uggla gets caught with a vial of buff juice, Dan LeBatard will nevertheless lose his mind. (Is Uggla Mormon? Let's figure that out sooner rather than later.)

Recall that, courtesy of Kirk Radomski, the Mitchell Report was dominated by New York-based players. Recall as well that any story broken in New York is by definition broken nationally, and it becomes clear that a genuine Mets steroid scandal might rival The Ballad of Roger and Brian for attention in the sports pages of America. Nobody wants to see this, because just as Clemens' lying, cheating ways would invariably detract from any team he played for, and as the circus surrounding Barry Bonds certainly affected the efforts of other Giants (note: which isn't to say that Bonds and his stupendous .276/.480/.565 line were a net negative; just that the coverage was a drag on the on-field play), the Amazins would likewise suffer.

So let's take a look at the Mets' projected roster, and answer the question -- where are the potential pitfalls?

Catcher

Well, we can't do too much worse than "caught," so there we go. Ramon Castro looks like an old-fashioned oaf rather than a juicer, but let's admit that his head is the size (and shape) of a watermelon, and concede there's definite scandal potential here. Still, as a backup catcher, he wouldn't be a big enough story to really cause much damage. Schneider I'm still pettily ignoring.

First Base

If there have been any rumors about Delgado, I haven't seen them. Like Jim Thome, he's one of the '90s-era sluggers nobody really has ever suspected, and that's good. As a team leader/elder statesman type, he'd be a somewhat destructive "get." Plus, as an avowed anti-American, he'd be far more likely to be prosecuted by the hacks in the U.S. Attorney's Office.

Second base

Valentin is another definite possibility, assuming he makes the team. As a high-power middle infielder, he already stands out a bit, and the injury patterns certainly don't do anything to take away from a potential charge. Castillo, no.

Third base

God fucking forbid.

Shortstop

Not a chance.

Outfield

I've seen nothing of the sort about Alou or Beltran -- the former seems like the epitome of a wiry old-school guy to me, while the latter doesn't jibe with the types who have been showing up in any way. Endy Chavez hasn't taken so much as a Snickers bar, I would guess. As for our right fielder, I have no earthly idea what he's gotten into. Maybe Omar checked up with Manny Acta before making the trade, or maybe Jim Bowden has snookered us into taking a potential media bomb off his hands (a procedure henceforth known as Tejadaing). It's just too early to tell. I will say that if we find out Church has so much looked an a greenie sideways, you'll a series of Y2K posts entitled "Heresy!" go up faster than you can say Jack Robinson.

Rotation

I peg Ollie, Maine, El Duque (if he's on the team) and Kyle Lohse (gnashing teeth) as moderate Scandal Risks. Hernandez only because he's Cuban, and nobody knows what they might have done back in their Communist paradise; a similar line applies to Perez, for whom nothing is too bizarre. Maine only because he's an up-and-down type who could conceivable have used when he was struggling with the O's. I remained convinced Pedro would have been caught/turned in yet if there were anything there. Too many hit batsmen. Too many enemies.

Bullpen

Wagner would be given the chair if tobacco use was proscribed, but unless they outlaw chaw before the start of the season, we should be straight with him. There's definitely some potential for Heilman to blow up in our faces -- I can see him being put into the rotation, and three days later, T.J. Quinn nabs him dead to rights. Plus, guys from Notre Dame are inherently suspect. Feliciano? Yeah, possibly, but again, not a major enough player to cause any real distraction. Joe Smith would be a more of a problem, as he's white and fresh-faced and a better "story," so I'd prefer that nothing turn up from his crazy college or NECBL days. (Some background sourcing might be required there.) As for Duaner, I think it's fairly likely we see a "Sanchez admits painkiller addiction" headline before anything else. You try getting crushed an a taxicab and tearing some ligaments, and see how the OxyContin tastes then. Mmmm.

Manager

That'd be something, but not likely. Amphetimines, but no 'roids.

Front office

You heard it here first -- Jeff Wilpon is to the Mets as Shane McMahon is to the WWE. Watch out now.