Poor Little Rich Kid

I think back to growing up.

I went to to a school full of smart kids from mostly succesful homes. Many students stood out for many reasons. But there was ONE student who was just the worst.

As a child, "H"- as I will refer to him as- was rude and abrasive. He wore really fancy clothes and lacked any real social skills. He had playdates when his mother forced them on the other parents but really the kid was just miserable.

We got to high school and it started to become a little bit more clear as to why H acted the way he did. H was WEALTHY. As Chris Rock puts it, "We a'int talking rich, we talking wealthy!"



H carried tons of cash around with him at the same time I was begging my parents for a slight raise in my already reasonable allowance. Even so, I was certainly beating H in the game of life. I was by no means the big man on campus but I got along with everyone and had a nice fit at school.

H, meanwhile was just too big of a prick. My friends and I would see he him at parties and random social functions an H would always be with someone new and random. He didn't appear to have real friends, only associates.

But as we got older things started to change.

H started to use his WEALTH.

Courtside seats at the Garden, Blowout parties at his mega-mansion in the hamptons. He may hot have been making real friends, but he was certainly buying a ton of company.

Then H went to college.

In college everyone can start over. He went from being the terrible kid with money to the intriguing kid from NEW YORK CITY who dressed nicely and was always doing really cool things. So in college, H had some appeal.

He hooked up with a crew of similar assholes. 18 year old kids who were defined by money. 99% of the student pop hated H and his crew, but it didn't matter. He had found his niche and his foundation for the future.

After college, it only got worse.

While the rest of us from my high school were struggling with our duties in the blogosphere(salt), our investment banking or law firm jobs (less salt) or doing things that were for the most part pretty exceptional for a recent college graduate (sans blogging), H lived on another planet.

He didn't reallly "work" per say. Sure he "worked" for Daddy's company, but he wasn't pulling 100 hour weeks or sweating out pay check to pay check.

Instead, he was dropping Daddy's Black Amex after he got out of his limo to cut the line and get two tables at Marquee.





He was surrounded by slightly less rich assholes who served as his cronies and a bevy of attractive women who spotted their future alimony payment.

He derserved nothing yet had the keys to everything. He had "the good life."

Everyone who knew H in high school knew what a loser this kid was. But it no longer mattered. His money and status trumped all. As much as we hated him, he was NOW beating us. And so is life.





NO, I didn't grow up with Hank Steinbrenner. I compare the H in my life to what I would imagine was Hank's rise through the baseball world.



Welcome to baseball's winter meetings, my friends.

28 people from one world working 100 hour weeks so as to make the perfect move.

1 man from another world, Theo Epstein, with a slight financial advantage, some luck, a ton of skill and what appears to be a ton of respect among his appears.

And then there is Hank Steinbrenner.

The recent heir to the throne, the boss's son, the little rich kid who was handed the keys to baseball's crown jewel, America's beloved Yankees.

While other teams grind it out(don't feel to bad for them), Hank has proven this offseason to do the exact opposite. Instead of managing his money, or seeking prime efficiency- I learned all about the meaning of Prime from my father last night- Hank has thrown his money at his players like I was throwing 48MPH curve balls in 7th grade- Very recklessly.

But what bothers us baseball fans is not why hank spends the way he spends but rather how.

The why is very easy and by now I think we have all come to grips with it. The Yankees are in a financial world of their own. Take A-Rod, Rivera and Posada's contracts off the Yankees and you have the Red Sox. Take Pettite and Abreu's away as well and you have the New Tigers.

Take away everyone on the team except Carl Pavano and you have the Marlins.(That baseball hasn't gotten rid of this team is just wrong)

The how is what makes me angry. 29 baseball executives handle their business quietly and surreptitiously. Then there is Hank Steinbrenner, the Kim Kardashian of baseball.



His statements are so outlandish and foolish that they almost appear intentional- a cry for the attention that his daddy stole from him for so many years(much like the attention that Paris Hilton stole from young Kimmy). But that's not the best part about Hank the leader.

It is his love for the ultimatum, "the line in the sand" that really brings out the brat. He's the rich kid that gets his house cleaner fired. And unfortunately, this isn't how baseball operates, Hank.

In both the cases of A-Rod and now Johan Santana, Hank Steinbrenner tried to bully his way into leverage. Think about how wrong this is. A-Rod was a free agent. He had all the leverage in the world- 29 teams that would want him if the price was right.
And then the Twins. They hold the rights to the best pitcher in the game. Why would they be in a rush to trade the guy when 10 teams in baseball would both want him and be able to afford him.

But Hank had to be a bully. He needed to show who was boss. He promised never to negotiate with A-Rod again, after all, A-Rod proveed that he did not understand what it meant to be a Yankee. (Going after money?!!!)

Hank already went back on his promise with that one. He eventually gave A-Rod $40 million dollars more than his original, "unbeatable" offer.

But the Twins situation is much more enjoyable. Hank drew his "line in the sand" for Monday at midnight. No deal by Hank's deadline and the Yankees were out of the picture. You can't push Hank around. And shocker. The deadline came and went without a deal for the game's best pitcher.



Which leaves Hanky with two options:

1. Go back on his word, AGAIN so as to prevent his division rival and enemy from getting the best pitcher in his game. This would take anyway any credibility that the man supposedly has to any person in baseball.

or

2. Be too stubborn to go back on his word in an attempt to save face. In this case the Yankees don't get Santana but at least young Hank has his pride/ego. Oh, and you apparently hand Santana to the Red Sox in the meantime.

What makes this situation so great is that if Hank wasn't a brat and instead a smart baseball man, he could have his pick. The Yankees could have presented a better offer than the Sox and Hank could have chosen whether to make the deal or not.

Instead, he was simply a bad businessman. He thought he could bully the Twins like he did all of his loser college cronies.

His father was smart enough to realize that having the Steinbrenner genes didn't lead to smart baseball decisions and so he turned over the ranks to Brian Cashman a few years back. In that time, the Yankees went from being the team with all the money, to the team with all the money, a great farm system and a perfect infrastructure.

But apparently this wasn't enough for Hank. He needed the power and control that came with running baseball's Evil Empire. And it's a good thing.

Hank Steinbrenner will be the saving grace of all Yankee-haters. The only thing in baseball that can trump money and smarts is ego and the opposite of smarts.

And young Hanky has a lot of those.

James Dolan, George Bush: Meet Hank Steinbrenner.

Vaya,
Sip



(Pics courtesy of msn.com, joonbug.com, cnn.com, llnwd.com, johansantana.net)