I AM BLOGGER

My name is Sippy Momo, and I am the last blogger alive in New York City.

That was just a shameless plug for I Am Legend. Hands down the best flick I saw this year and just a heck of a movie-going experience.

Now I'm just going to rip Roger Clemens. OBVI!



Let me provide you with a hypothetical.

I am Sippy Momo, the most famous and respected person in the blogosphere. I have dominated since back in the days when people called blogspot home and to this day, remain at the top of my game. I AM BLOGGER.

Then one day, some fellow geek on the internet creates a report that says some nerd from a Dungeons & Dungeons blog (Our biggest Rival) claims that he witnessed me MURDERING the real Sippy Momo and I that am really an imposter.

What do i Do?

I know that this could not be further from the truth, a complete lie even. I AM SIPPY MOMO.

So what do I do?

A. Take a week to make a statement through my lawyer.

B. Let someone speak on my behalf that would make me appear even more culpable

C. Stand up immediately and say, "What the fuck are you talking about, that is bullshit, I didn't kill no Sippy Momo, but I will kill whoever is trying to tarnish my legacy."


Roger Clemens is either lying or just really, really dumb. He knew the Mitchell Report was coming out and he knew his name would be on it.

If he in fact did not use Steroids or HGH, why wouldn't he immediately call bullshit, knowing that people would clearly react the way they did to the report. It is a no-brainer. If you are innocent, tell people right away. Don't give the public time to let the report soak in or to have your face plastered on every tv screen and newspaper in the country.



This is the main reason why I firmly believe that Clemens is guilty.

And here is what I think went down.

1. Clemens meets with his lawyers and says " I pay you lots of money, how do we fix this?"

2. Lawyer says, "Roger, did you do it?"

3. Roger says, "Yes, but so did OJ. Now do your job."

4. Lawyer says, "OK, tell me everything. Who knew about your steroid use? Of the people who knew, what can we do to ruin their credibility to make you appear to be the victim."

5. Roger says, " Brian McNamee is the only man who ever saw me taking steroids. We always did it privately. Yeah there was some talk among the fellas, but that was like talking about tale on the road or drinking beers, it was nothing."

6. Lawyer says, " Ok, we are going to take the next year to ruin McNamee's credibility. From there, no one will have any proof that you cheated...

"You may have to lie to a grand jury, the public and your family, making you a terrible, terrible person, but at least we might be able to salvage your baseball career."

7. Clemens says, "Done and done. I can live with that."

8. Lawyer says, "Ok, give me a year. The south will rise again!"

That's my take on the situation. I've been wrong before and will be many more times in the future.

One thing is certain though:

I AM BLOGGER

Vaya,
Sip

(Pics courtesy of USAtoday.com, chinaexpat.com)