Oh, come on ...

... now I have to go to the trouble of putting another bounty on Kevin Kernan's head, and I just don't have time for this nonsense.

In no particular order, the joke is on Rupert Murdoch, who's paying Kernan a columnist's wages to come up with this recycled tripe; Post readers, who pay anywhere from the opportunity cost of wasting time on this bullshit to 50 cents to take in said columnist; and me, for wasting time with a response. Everyone loses!

Even though Jeter wears No. 2 on his back, he will always be No. 1 in the hearts of Yankee fans. Alex Rodriguez is the American League MVP, the best player in the game, no question, but Jeter is Captain Clutch and always will be because of his singular winning approach.

Get it? The two numbers are close, which is funny because ... I don't know. Also, if you're a writer and resorting to the "No. 2 in your program but No. 1 in your hearts" line, go ahead and do us all a favor by quitting. Now.

If you listen closely to what A-Rod is saying this season, he has learned from Jeter and always talks about winning. The night the Yankees clinched a playoff berth, they were trailing the Devil Rays until Jeter blasted a solo home run to lead off the fourth inning.

Little-known fact - A-Rod hated winning while a Mariner and Ranger. Wait, what am I saying? Everyone knows this to be true.

“It feels good, we're in the playoffs, but you know we have a lot of work left," he says. “This is the starting point. We haven't accomplished anything yet."

That is so Jeter.

You write like a 12-year-old girl. Next week in the Post: Kernan on why "High School Musical 2" is the clear MVP of the TV movie season.

Jeter's greatest strength cannot be measured by numbers. He has the look and feel of a winner.

"Clickety-clank, clickety-clank, the money goes in-to, my pig-gy bank ..."

For Jeter, that's what baseball is all about: Getting the job done no matter what.

If you have a sore shoulder like Jeter did earlier in the year, it doesn't matter. Get the job done. If you have an aching knee like Jeter did down the stretch, it doesn't matter. Get the job done.

In Derek's World, there are no excuses and no individual statistics. You give your all and you either get the job done or you don't. There is a simple brilliance to that.

In Derek's World, there is no second-guessing because everything is in plain sight. Jeter is the ultimate baseball realist. When the Yankees were eight games under .500 and the rest of the baseball world thought they would not make the playoffs for the first time in Jeter's career, he kept the faith. There is no mystical reason why he never strayed off course.

[Strangling self with belt.]