Sad But True

Ask me if I want the Mets to win the World Series this year and I almost don't even know. I mean, obviously I want them to win it, but this year is different for me. I just have a different relationship with the team.

They used to be my be all and end all. It's not that anything has changed for me in terms of how much I love the team, it's just a matter of how much time I have now to devote to the team.

Back in the good old days I could watch games every day and every night. Now, with the hours I keep at work, by the time I get home for the night the game is over. And I don't even have time to GameCast that shit at work.

The sad truth is my relationship with the team has changed. I still pull for them, I still desperately want them to do well, but there's a distance there now that never was before.

If you're not watching the games every night, it's impossible to be a passionate fan. That's just the way it is. But you know what, at least I'm willing to take ownership of how much I've slipped. I'm not going to be one of that guy who claims he's a big fan and then you ask him how, generally speaking, David Wright's been doing lately, and he has no effing clue.

But who knows. Maybe once I've had a few more weeks in this job under my belt I'll start getting home around the 4th or 5th inning and I'll actually be able to watch the team play on a weekday.

But as for now there's nothing. I can't remember the last time I watched an entire game on a weekday. I play catch up on the weekends but it's not the same. I just don't have what I've always had with this team. Never before in my life have I been unable to watch the games when I wanted to.

Now look, at the risk of making more of this than it is, I've only been feeling this kind of strain the past two weeks. But going two weeks without this team is a lot for me; it's certainly longer than I've ever gone before.

And all of it has me wondering what I really want from this team. I want them to do well and I want them to win the World Series. Of course that's what I want.

But in some small way, if things keep up like this at work and I never get to watch the team the way I did in years past, if they did go on to win the whole thing, there's a part of me that would feel like they did it without me, like I missed out.

That's selfish of course, and I know it is. But I don't know. You spend so much time with a team and then the first moment you have to turn away is when they finally fulfill every dream you have? Something about that doesn't sound fair to me.

But fuck me. It's not the Mets that need to change, it's me. So that's it, that's the last of this wistful tone you'll hear from me. New A.F.O.M.G.! Time to make shit happen at work, no more fucking around. I need the Mets and if they're going to win it all, and if I'm going to feel right about it, they need me. Let's get to work.

- A.F.O.M.G.

(Image courtesy of sportsnetwork.com)