Now Listen...NOW!

(Cheddar Ben drops some knowledge right below)

I could write about the Mets right now. But they lost and that sucks.

I could write about the Yankees right now. But they won and that also sucks.

I could write about a lot of different things right now and you would have to read it, because hopefully me discussing what I'm not going to write about has you all the least bit curious as to what I AM going to write about.

Welcome my friends to the psychology of the blogosphere. Proceed with caution.

And Sr. said that summer class in Bloggology was a waste of money.

Today we pay the ultimate tribute to someone perfect and then offer a giant lashing to something so excruciatingly painful that there has never been a better time then NOW to write about it.

First, the angry part.

"Who's Now."

When I saw Y2k legend Patrick make a post about it on Monday, I knew this column was meant to be.

This Sports Center gimmick, meant to fill a 90 minute episode of Baseball Tonight without the proper baseball analysis/WNBA highlights because it is PC, may very well be the worst television that I for some reason watch every single day.

This is the dumbest competition maybe of all time.

For those smart enough not to watch, here is what you are missing. A 32-athlete bracket, like the NCAA tournament, where the fans vote for the athlete that they feel is more "Now."

To be "now" is to be a superior athlete and pop-culture icon.

Maria Sharapova is "Now." Tim Duncan is not so "Now."



Lebron James is "Now." Carlos Beltran is not so "Now."

The first mistake ESPN made was calling this a competition to see who is most "Now." Or maybe not. I think I am going to start calling anything I see and like, "Now." And for those who know me well, you can imagine how annoying this is gonna get.

"Yo, you see that girl over. She is so NOW!!"

"I really like those sneakers, they are so, whats the word...NOW!"

Seriously, though. ESPN does so much right. But, this competition could not be more "Then." They should just take 32 colors and put them in a bracket and have the people vote.

"Blue had a great year. It had the sky and is the favorite color of hip bloggers like Sip Momo. But watch out, because blue is up against a very dangerous "Yellow." Yellow also had a great year. The sun is yellow and Paris Hilton was spotted at Spago wearing yellow shoes. We need not mention a certain Coldplay hit."

I actually am embarrassed for Sports Center when this segment comes on. I think it is horrible that ESPN makes two of its finer analysts, Michael Wilbon and Kirk Herbstreit analyze this.



I do, however, find it very fitting that the King of "Boo Yah!", Stuart Scott, is hosting this little shindig. The only thing that would make this better would be if Skip Bayless and Steven A. Smith were the people arguing for the more "Now" athlete.

That might actually cause me to read a book.


PART II


What is very "Now" for you guys is that as always, Sip comes through with a promise. He told you there would be a bitter rant. And now there is a ray of sunshine.

For those of you living on planet 20-something, you know how "Now" the hit smash Transformers is. The movie is a blockbuster and while I haven't seen it, I have heard nothing but "Now" reviews.

Within this "Now" movie is a "Now" actress that very well may change the landscape of teenage masturbation for many years to come.

And while we can't verify that this "Now" girl is a reader of our site, my sources tell me that she is very fond of the internet, which is pretty damn close if you ask me.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Ms. "NOW," Megan Fox.



I only caught her in this month's Maxim spread. But lets say that that was enough for me to comfortably label this girl, NOW! I also know that she once dated famed 90210 alum Brian-Austin Green. That is pretty NOW too, if you ask me.

No real reason to bring Ms. Fox to this little blog of ours, other than out of pure respect.


And for that, all I can say is...you guessed it:

"Now!"

Vaya,
Sip

(Pics courtesy of ladiescourt.com, yale.edu, beyondhollywood.com)