Trouble in Paradise: Smoltzie vs. Chipper

(Note: Sip will be in with a piece later this afternoon.)

Long time no speak, but it’s Cousin Dan making a rare blog appearance. First off, want to thank the good folks at the Cedar Hill Farm Bed & Breakfast for a great weekend of relaxation and good tips for German food. To paraphrase Mick Foley, I figure a cheap plug never hurt nobody.

But on to my real business here. Anyone who knows me knows that every so often I run into a bit of a philosophical dilemma. Obviously I love the Metropolitans, and am thrilled that they pulled off the sweep over the official AL Team of Cousin Dan, the Oakland A’s. (If you live in Berkeley and can go to a game for a buck on Wednesdays, you’d love ‘em too).

But I am also arguably the biggest John Smoltz fan outside the Atlanta clubhouse. Can’t explain it, but I've been following the guy’s career since he was in Richmond or so.

So, with Smoltzie in the news for, let’s be honest, just an awesome reason, let’s blog. With apologies to the folks at Fire Joe Morgan, who do this much, much better than I do…

Jones says he felt pressured by Smoltz to return to Braves' lineup

Chipper Jones was back in the Braves' lineup Saturday, saying he felt pressured by pitcher John Smoltz to rush back from a groin injury. The Braves had suffered three straight shutout losses for the first time since 1988 entering the game, which they lost 2-1 to Detroit -- despite Jones' homer.

Heartbreaking news about the three straight shutouts. Just so sad.

When asked before the game if he is rushing his return, Jones said, "Probably. But I feel a little backed into a corner." Asked to elaborate, Jones indicated some doubted he was injured enough to miss games. "Let's just say there are people who don't believe me," Jones said. "Let's just say that and leave it at that."

Okay, so as I read on, Larry, I am quite certain that you’re going to “leave it at that.” Right? Just that, right? You’re done. Great.

After Friday night's 5-0 loss to the Tigers, Smoltz said, "You can't worry about who's in the lineup and who isn't. You can't worry about that stuff anymore." Added Smoltz: "I certainly appreciate the effort of the guys who are on the field busting it."

Now, I’m not sure what the question was in regard to, but it seems like Smoltz was stating the obvious. You can only worry about the guys in the lineup. Like the four sweetest words in the English language for Mets fans, “leadoff hitter Willie Harris.” Or Brian McCann, who sure scares the crap out of me a lot for a guy who’s only batting .250. Or Andruw Mendoza. Or something called Yunel Escobar, who plays whenever Larry can’t.

And you can’t worry about a guy whose strained groin may or may not have had anything to do with waitresses at Hooters.

Smoltz didn't identify Jones as a player not in the lineup, but Jones said after Saturday's game that he got the message. "I'd be stupid if I didn't take it the same way," Jones said,

Wait just a minute, I thought you were done! You promised you were done!

adding he planned to "play the rest of the games this year and do whatever I can. Somebody I know better not miss a start."

All right, settle down, Paulie Walnuts. Or what happens? Redneck mafia coming after your Hall of Fame ace? Luckily, Chipper never gets hurt, so he can honestly say he’s gonna “play the rest of the games this year.”

When asked Friday about his sore shoulder, Smoltz said: "We all could wish we were feeling better, but that's the way it goes."

For the record, Smoltz suffered a dislocated pinky a month ago, and made his next start. Then he strained his shoulder, missed one start, and came back to shut down the Boston Red Sox. So when he talks about playing through pain, he isn’t joking.

Jones said he hasn't talked with Smoltz about the pitcher's comments. "I got nothing to say," Jones said.

I bet he has something to say.

"He made his point through the media. Now I'm going to make my point through the media. If he doesn't want to do it man to man, then fine."

Well, I guess that’s something to say, though I’m not sure what “point” Larry is trying to make. Was it the point about the thinly veiled though rather bizarre threat?

The Braves have experienced very little clubhouse turmoil in Bobby Cox's tenure as manager, but Cox may have been aware of building tensions on Saturday. "It's no time to start pointing fingers at people," Cox said before the game. "We'll stay in this together."

“…at least until I get ejected for a record-tying 131st time. Then they’re on their own.”

Jones apparently sustained the injury, which is in the groin area, during Tuesday's game against Boston.

Which I’m sure explains his 0-for-3 that day. Still not convinced it’s un-Hooters-related.

Jones hasn't played a full season since 2003. He's been on the DL four years in a row with a variety of ailments: a hamstring problem three years ago, an injured foot the following season, a strained oblique last year.

So maybe, just maybe, this isn’t the guy who should be yammering about how he’s gonna play every day and somebody shouldn’t miss a start. To conclude:

John Smoltz — maybe the most clutch postseason pitcher of his era, likely Hall of Famer, only pitcher in history with 200 wins and 150 saves.

Chipper Jones — hits the Mets real well, on the DL every damned year, grown man answering to “Chipper.”

I think the choice is clear.

- Cousin Dan

(Image courtesy of images.burntorangenation.com)