Enter Your Rocky Pun Here

Got ahold of Denver Dave Tuesday night. He was doing double duty at some bar in the Mile High City -- watching the Yanks-Rox game on the big screen, and participating in some heavy trivia. Presumably drinking, too, although we didn't get into it. Sounded like a million bucks. The Rox had just gone up 3-1 on N.Y., and all we could do was talk up their chances of sweeping the Bombers out of town.

At that point, I started hearing some weird noise in the background, loud stuff, and Dave stopped talking for a moment. Then, I get this from Dave -- "O.K., this is weird ... the trivia lady is yelling at me for talking on my phone."

Now, can you blame the hostess of Trivia Night for thinking Dave was cheating on the game with a faraway ringer? I don't know that you can. Dave's exactly the type of scumbag that would try to yank out a sub rosa lifeline if he couldn't pick between "lyme disease" or "lupus."

Just kidding. Although in the event any of Y2K's readers ever land on the daytime Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? (that's still on, I think) or some such other game show, remember that Cheddar might be the best lifeline you have.

In any case, as we saw yesterday, the sweep took and the Yankees, who had won 11 of 12 heading into Colorado and scored something like 41 runs during their last 3-game series at Coors Field, managed only five runs in three days and thoroughly embarrassed themselves. That's the type of humiliation we live for at this site. The good stuff. The stuff that makes John Sterling go crazy on air (more on that in a second).

As Dave pointed out, the sweep is even better when you consider how star-struck the opposition was coming into the series. The Rox are, after all, a rather young team, and while they may be playing for a purpose higher than that of yours or mine, they're not above feeling a little earthly awe at times.

Especially, apparently, rookie shortstop Troy Tulowitzki. The kid they call "Tulo" (sounds a little Puerto Rican for Denver, but hey) is, according to a nice little notebook item in the Denver Post, a HUGE fan of The Captain, Derek Jeter. Since way back. Since he was a kid. Since he learned to be really creepy ... oh, take it away, Post:

Troy Tulowitzki grew up idolizing Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. But his connection goes beyond his No. 2 jersey. He's hoping to get an autographed bat from Jeter during this series.

He already has a gold medallion - sort of. When the Rockies were at Fenway Park, Tulowitzki bugged the clubhouse manager, asking him to come up with any equipment Jeter might have left behind. On the Rockies' last day in Boston, the clubbie proudly announced he found something, handing Tulowitzki a plastic gold necklace with a dollar-sign pendant. It now hangs from his locker.

Yeah, that clubhouse attendant is probably still laughing his ass off with all of the other clubhouse guys. And the Red Sox, for that matter.

Anyway, there were plenty of other reasons for Y2K readers to enjoy the series. Taking the games in reverse order...

6/21/2007 -- Rockies 4, Yankees 3 (WP: Lopez; LP: Clemens; S: Fuentes)

The Rocket being denied Win No. 350 was obviously fine, but we'll get to see that a couple more times, and nobody's going to be that upset when a loss sets him up to try to get the big tuna at home. Yanks fans like to be there for their stupid milestones.

No, the real story in this game was Sterling's unbalanced take on the key moment of the game. In fairness to him, it was in fact the afternoon's deciding play, and it was a particularly appropriate illustration of why Joe Torre has become an awful manager, but still. Anyway, here we go.

Bottom five, score knotted at 2-2, KazMat slaps a one-out single through the middle and steals second by a mile. Matt Holliday knocks him home with another hit up the middle, delightfully fighting off a real tough 3-2 jam pitch, and Clemens is pulled for Mike Myers.

Then the fun starts -- Helton knocks a single over Jeter's glove into left-center, and Holliday (a big hulking guy) doesn't even think twice about trying to take third on Traitor Johnny.

Damon actually uncorks a great throw for him, almost on line and nearly getting Holliday, but not really. Moreover, the guy has no business playing in center at this point, much less in the mid-sized ranch that is the Coors outfield.

Damon's bum wheel forces him to play WAY too deep -- he can either cover the alleys, or he can let basically everything drop in front of him. And when it does, even the arthropods have a standing invitation to take the extra base. So, Holliday gets to third with one out, and Atkins gets him home with a sac fly for a 4-2 lead and the eventual winning run.

Then, in the seventh, Sterling basically went nuts. Melky, who hit for Proctor in the top half of the inning, had taken over in center for Damon (who moved to first). And then basically the same situation develops -- Holliday gets on via a walk with one down, and Helton singles to center.

This time, Holliday takes just as big a turn, but Melky has chased down the ball and fired a strike in behind Holliday to second base. He has to stop and dive back to the bag, just beating Jeter's tag. And, of course, Atkins then flies out to basically the same spot where he earned his sac fly in the fifth, and Colorado is kept off the board.

Well, Sterling hates this. Just HATES this. "There's the difference, right there! That's the play that decides the game!" Ranting and raving about how Melky had made the right play, and you can't give teams extra runs, and defense this and one-run games that. You can hear the bile rising in his throat when he mentions Johnny's name. Just a hideous performance.

6/20/2007 -- Rockies 7, Yankees 1 (WP: Francis; LP: Pettitte)

The Jesus Freak takes the L, and gets hammered in the process, although he didn't need to. The inept Torre left him in there to take a completely avoidable beating during the game-killing four-run 7th inning, with Yanks blogger Steve Goldman particularly irate about it:

Though he hasn't thrown a lot of pitches, Pettitte hasn't exactly looked sharp through any of this. In most other games, Torre probably would have pulled him. It seems as if he was mesmerized by the fact that the pitcher's spot was leading off the next inning.

Long story short, Torre leaves Andy in there to give up an RBI single to Taveras and then the big two-run triple from KazMat before doing what he should have done in the first place -- go to Vizcaino.

Torre went for Vizcaino, so the whole exercise was pointless. Vizcaino allowed an RBI single to Matt Holliday, because Holliday is good and Vizcaino isn't. The headline for this game at MLB.com is "Pettitte Unravels Late." That's not quite accurate. It should be, "Torre fails to rescue Pettitte."

Solidarity, baby! Also, KazMat is hitting .316 with 13 SB in 14 attempts. Just so you know.

6/19/2007 -- Rockies 3, Yankees 1 (WP: Fogg; LP: Mussina; S: Fuentes)

Josh Fogg, ladies and gentlemen. Plus, the Mets can claim an assist on this one for showing the rest of the major leagues just how simple it is to run on Posada and Co. The Yanks actually had a lead in this one, but the Rocks ground back two runs, one each in the third and fifth, with Taveras and Matsui scoring (respectively) after swiping second.

The catcher added a dinger off the Moose (whose ERA is over 5) in the sixth, and there went the hot streak. Good times.

Now, sitting at .500, the Yanks have to fly out to the West Coast for three against San Francisco (30-41), another crap team that the Bombers should handle easily. Heh heh.