Y2K-U: Cousin Dan's Weekly Update

(Note: We don't like our readers getting complacent, and for that reason we've got a little something different for you this afternoon. Please give a hardy Y2K Welcome to ESPN The Mag alum, and cousin of the Sip, Cousin Dan. Dan will be here each week with his college update. Dan, the only person in the world I know who likes women's college basketball, will do everything in his power to avoid that subject on this site(no disrespect to Coop and the fine ladies of Y2K). So welcome Cousin Dan. Sip will be back with his usual at 2PM, Lou Monte was in this morning, and as always, don't forget, www.yankees2000.com coming TOMORROW!)

Welcome to the first edition of Y2K-U, a ten-pack of my thoughts on the week that was in college sports. Before I begin, a preface. Since this site is all about Yankee bashing, but the Yankees don’t play college sports, I will let it be known at the outset that there will be a great deal of bashing of Duke basketball in the column.

At least one, but as many as four of the items in any given week will be dedicated to pure, unadulterated, and assuredly unhealthy Duke hatred. (You just wait until the Virginia-Duke game!)

This is the kind of fury you can only muster when your wife wants to know why you’re interrupting dinner to check the Duke-Holy Cross score, just to see three consecutive “offensive” “fouls” called on the Crusaders while 4,000 nerds jump up and down.

With that out of the way, here we go.

1. Cleveland, thou must take Troy Smith.

That was the edict from somebody, probably Kirk Herbstreit, after Smith garnered the greatest Heisman margin in history by someone who, and we’re just shooting in the dark here, will not go on to kill his wife.

The reasoning here is that Vince Young would have made Texan fans happy, therefore Troy Smith will do the same in the pros. Problem is, nobody has any idea if Troy Smith will be good in the pros.

I’m not even going to guess, but I only bring it up to say that Cleveland will have a very difficult decision come draft day. The two undisputable truths, however, are that Vince Young did not make Texan bettors happy yesterday, and that Mario Williams stinks.

2. Appalachian State 49, somebody else 24.

ESPN was showing the “Division I College Football Playoffs” Saturday, live from wherever Appalachian State is. Apparently, the welfare of Appalachian State students must not be as important as those from Ohio State, because they are playing some sort of playoff tournament in Division I.

Interestingly, you would think that the studies of the Mountaineers would be more important than those of the Buckeyes, what with it unlikely that many Appy Staters are going league.

3. Call your cable operator now.

So, basically, Steve Bornstein had a lot to do with the growth of ESPN, so now that he runs the NFL Network, he still likes being the bully. The result is that roughly half the country doesn’t get the NFLN, including 3 million homes in New Jersey.

And guess which channel the Rutgers bowl game is on? And guess which channel is refusing to license its rights to a local channel here? Net result: still nobody gets the Network, and a bunch of Rutgers fans have to go to a bar to see the Texas Bowl. Thank you, Scrooge Bornstein.

4. Welcome to the Pac-10, Gonzaga.

My favorite moment of the week was late Wednesday, when I flipped on Fox College Sports West and saw Gonzaga playing at Washington State.

From nearly personal experience, there is nothing whatsoever in Pullman, Washington except a college and a road to the Idaho border, so when Wazzu has something to be excited about, they get real excited. Good times.

The Zags bounced back from that loss, hammering overrated Washington on Saturday in Spokane.

5. January 10, 2007.

Yes, two days after the BCS title game, that’s the first day that the high-and-mighty Dukies will actually dare play a road game. I think Coach K may petition the ACC for some more home conference games next year, ya know, for the good of the sport and Dick Vitale.

Duke does play the aforementioned Zags at MSG in a couple weeks, as part of a special Krzyzewski home-and-home (“you play in Cameron, we play in NY metro area”). Google what happened when he pulled that crap with Lute Olson. Hint: it involves the F-bomb.

6. Seemingly worth the wait.

Caught a little of Greg Oden on Full Court yesterday, and, well, he dunks real good.

Problem is, he may be dunking real good even when OSU isn’t playing Cleveland State. He didn’t miss any shots on his way to 16 in the win. That Ohio State-Florida game coming up could be special.

7. Your weekly Jayhawk update.

Since the happiness of my marriage is often dependent on how Kansas fares in any given week, I’m generally an expert. This week—2 wins over USC and Toledo, and the fans are restless. It must be fun to root for a team when 10-point wins are not good enough because you shoulda won by 20. Or not. I wouldn’t know.

8. Your non-weekly K-State update.

Occasionally while scouring the net for fun Kansas news to give my beloved, I come across stuff like this from the K-State play-by-play guy: "One of the more hostile environments the Wildcats will see all year". This was after the North Dakota State battle, which K-State pulled out at the end, in Fargo. Fargo. For men’s basketball. Riiiiiight.

9) Guy I was most surprised was actually good.

Wisconsin forward Alando Tucker is always mentioned as a possible All-American, but I never bought it until Saturday, when I watched him just tear apart Marquette in Milwaukee.

He’s a legit superstar, and Wisconsin will be a top-3 seed in March if he continues to play at this level.

10. The Final Question.

Has there been a less imposing second-ranked team than Pitt? Ever?

Stay Low,

- Cousin Dan