Win Tonight

(Note: Immediately below this post from A.F.O.M.G. is a response to Game 6 written immediately after the game ended last night. Sip will be back with a post around 4 p.m. so be sure to check in for that.)

The anticipation was palpable as I entered the stadium. Everywhere the members of the crowd were cheering.

Ascending the walkways past the Loge and Mezzanine sections, chants of ""Let's Go Mets!" could be heard reverberating around the aged walls of Shea Stadium. Upon reaching the Upper Deck, I stepped out to the seats at the first moment I could, and reveled in the enthusiasm of the crowd, the green of the outfield, the chill in the air, everything.

Then came the stairs. High fives and chants of "Let's Go Mets!" encircled me as I made my way past rows A, B, and C... H, I, J... Q, R, S... T, U... all the way up to Row V, the very last row of the stadium. I had made it. I was on top of Shea Stadium. On top of the world. The date was April 3, 2006. It was Opening Day.

I made a similar trek last night. Past the corporate types in the levels below up a lonely walkway; at 7:30 I was the only person on this corridor, save a few scattered men and women out to catch a smoke. All of it the better to compound my fear about what might lay ahead.

When I reached the Upper Deck I had to walk all the way around the massive ring of the stadium, from the Gate A extreme of the right field seats to the left field equivalent over near Gate E.

Popping my head out in Section 46, I made the climb once again. Past high fives and chants of "Let's Go Mets!" (accompanied now with the occasional "Ya Gotta Believe!" cheer), I walked past rows A, B, and C... H, I, J... Q, R, S.. T, U... V. The very last row of the stadium. I was back.

I'm all for the brave face, but it was impossible to think about the game last night without acknowledging that it could be the end. And as I took my seat it was impossible for me to not at least be aware of the cruel symmetry that the season could end up assuming.

For all I knew the season would end, for me, exactly where it began, or if not the exact same seat, at least the same last row of the stadium.

But as I sat there and admired the crowd below me, a heavy breeze at my back making me and my fellow Row V-ers the only cold people in the stadium, one thought ran through my mind.

"Not tonight."

Not a phrase culled from Mets lore, but a thought brimming with as much hope and optimism as anything else we've got, although I'll grant that it's markedly less catchy.

It was a thought that raced through my head over and over as the night wore on. It was with me in the first when the Cards looked poised to do some early damage against John Maine.

Not tonight.

It was with me when they put two men on in the top of the 3rd for Jim Edmonds and Juan Encarnacion.

Not tonight.

And it was there, finally, horribly, with Billy Wagner pitching to David Eckstein representing the tying run at the plate in the top of the 9th.

Not tonight. Don't let it end tonight.

And as Eckstein's slow roller made its way from bat to Valentin to Delgado, I realized the Mets had accomplished everything they needed to yesterday.

They didn't hit the cover off the ball. They never put the game out of reach the way we probably all wished they would.

But they won last night. And they drew the series even.

And tonight they'll be at it again. As for me, I'll be there once again, though not in Row V -- some things you can't control.

But for a superstitious guy like me there are things you can control, and everything I've done today has been done with an eye toward tonight. No jacket. Didn't shave. I'll buy a Post on my way to the game. Everything I can do is under control.

Doesn't mean the fears won't be there again tonight, but this time there'll be something else in the back of my mind, too -- the hope of celebrating with my fellow fans at a raucous Shea Stadium.

Because after all, how could I not acknowledge that win tonight and we win the series.

Win tonight and we win the pennant.

Win tonight and we are in the World Series.

Win tonight.

Ya gotta believe.

- A.F.O.M.G.