Salt

(Note: A piece by Cheddar Ben follows this one from Sippy Momo. Enjoy.)

I caught word this morning that my old company, Facebook.com might be looking to sell. Had I not quit last week, I would be loooking at nearly 6 figures in the bank account.

Oh well, there is more money in blogging.

My life is officially hitting rock bottom. Yesterday, me and my good pal Ben, who you can catch on E! Monday-Friday starting in about a week saw all the demons in the world when we hit the Hustler casino at 5 pm.

I was truly embarassed to be Senior's son.

With their weird rules, sad people and non English-speaking dealers, I sat there the entire time with both hands on my head like Eli or Peyton after they had made a mistake.

I managed to go about 2.5 units which was nice. Money is pretty sweet when you are no longer earning any of it.

Either way, I was on my track back. After thoroughly offending my good pal KFC (K Man, I love you dog. As they say in the old country -- We cool, Mox), I met with my old NYC pal Adrian for what turned out to be some utter insanity.

See, I am not an LA guy. I am a cold weather quarterback who for the most part doesn't like dickbags.

But LA is starting to grow on me. There is just a ton of weird but cool shit going down here. So we ended up at one of LA's hotter night clubs for some Scarsdale Jew's birthday party.

At first I would have rather gotten chicken wings at the candle light in Edgemont, but once we rolled in it was all good. I was a few sheets to the wind, somewhat out of character but playing to the Hollywood bullshit.

Adrian, an NYC party dude with essentially nothing to lose, put me over the top with a couple more disgusting cocktails. I truly hit rock bottom.

Until... I looked over and saw my buddy from theU at a table with Lohan and the Hilton Sisters.

See Lohan, pre-intense cocaine abuse (Y2K is a drug free blog) was at the top of my list before she became a little too cool for school.

If AFOMG was there, I'm sure he would have gone for a quote for this site. His dedication, journalism skills, and all around goodness is way better than a young but fiery Sip.

I made endless passes at Young Lindsay. But somehow, she wasn't buying. That skank. Does she know that my dad was once ranked #4 on the Lakeridge Men's Tennis ladder?

After LL didn't pan out I tried but was held back by an LA pal to beat the shit out of that dude Brandon Davis, the billionare heir/cheese dick. Would have made Page 6 and finally won my father's love. Oh well. That didn't really happen either.

I write about my LA sightings cause I am hungover as all hell and have no idea what happened in baseball last night. What I do know is what I read yesterday morning. And it's official. It is on paper. The Yankees are the biggest bunch of bitches alive.

Whatever the reason, finally those losers from the Bronx put in all paper. The one stud on that team, Jason "Couldnt be more back on the juice" Giambi called out his protection, Alex Rodriguez. Step up, he said. Make a big play. Sure. I'll buy.

But for really the first time since the Yankees became a dynasty, the intense egos and salaries are making a public spectacle out of their insane contracts and inconsistent play.

A-Rod has cemented himself as the biggest herb in sports and all of this is just making the Mets supposed "over celebration" seem saintly. All of a sudden, we have a bunch of 'dudes' who were just happy and a little over excited about winning.

But those dicks had a bunch of cry babies making 20 million dollars a year that were hugging each other just because they were on camera.

Finally, I have a point. The Yankees belong in LA. They belong in a town void of true sports fans, who just want a winner and cool uniforms. They belong in a town where their celebrity off the field means more than their celebrity on it.

If they were the LA Yankees it would all make sense. Insecure suits with underpaying jobs, who spend their day sucking off bigshots and trying to make a buck, could come home at 7 pm, hear that the Yankees once again won and then go out to a fashinable LA eatery and talk about "The Biz."

The Yankees could be fleeting. They could be a quick story, just like Gyllenhaal taking Aquaman II. As corny as Kobe Bryant and the Lakers are, LA is the Yankees' town. It kills me that they are one of the landmarks of my city and it kills me that my father has to work in an office with more Yankee tickets than Mets tickets.

At the end of the day, we all have each other and we all have the Upper West Side. Completely insane this morning. I feel like Julio Franco putting on a 3rd base glove for the first time since Sip was born. Weird.

Big ups to K Reeves,

Sip