Love is in the Air: Brokenbat Mountain

So fresh off my second straight west coast loss, I marched out of AT&T Park. I made it to street level when I saw some Mets fans. They gave me a nod and I responded with my typical, "New Mets."

That is when I got sonned. All 7 feet turned around looking down on the 5'10 Sip. I didn't know what to do.

"New Giants!" He yelled.

I was speechless. The 3-year-old son on his father's shoulders put me in my place. And it may have been the cutest thing I've ever seen.

So AT&T Park is amazing. Everything about it, from the seats to the view to the ammenities were great.

There was this dude sitting in front of me who was the real life equivalent of Shaggy. He was with this blonde who was way out of his league.

Clearly a huge burn out, this guy couldn't have been more classic. He compared Barry Bonds' suspected steroid use to how smoking pot helped him with his skateboarding.

He was talking about how close the game was in the 9th before he looked at the scoreboard and realized that the Giants were up by 4. And yet the girl he was with was a 10.



And he would have made the AFOMG cry of happiness. As everyone in the stands, Mets and Giants fans booed the shit out of Armando Benitez in the bullpen, he talked about his days growing up in Maryland.

He brought his girlfriend to a Orioles-Twins game back when Armando was in his prime, only to have his girlfriend ditch him at the end of the game to run and hook up with Doug Mientkiewicz. Good old Dougy.

So the Mets have lost 2 in a row, Beltran is truly earning his nickname Carlos "The Panzi" and Glavine pitched the best 6-run game of all time.

But in the midst of all this sadness, there is something far sweeter in the air. This weekend it finally all made sense.

I sat there in the car with Kenny From Camp, driving to San Diego to catch our beloved New Mets. The phone rang for KFC. It was Happy Will... KFC froze.

Again, this is when I realized.



Brokeback Mountain was a fraud. It wasn't a movie about gay cowboys, or at least that is not what it was originally about.

It was the Summer of 2003. The Mets were not yet New but they were certainly old. KFC was entering his internship with the Mets. He was a lost soul still trying to find his way.

Cue the emotional music.

Jay Horowitz, then the Mets VP, called all the interns into the room. That is when KFC first laid his eyes on him.

That was the first time he saw Happy Will.

Over the course of the Summer they got closer. They talked baseball amongst themselves and snuck into the cracks of Shea to spend some quality time.

That is when KFC looked at Happy Will and said the memorable line, "I wish I knew how to quit you."

The summer ended and the Mets were really bad. The two hit a wall. They had to go their separate ways, Will to Harvard and Kenny to Penn. The two worlds could never accept the other.

Fast forward to three years later. Happy Will having met a nice young lady, KFC still trying to forget his most recent flame. Yet through the Mets they once again found eachother.

I tried to get Kenny's attention, but when Happy Will called, I just couldn't do it. Kenny just flat out couldn't quit him.

And so it all makes sense. I know I wasn't the only one who had no idea what Brokeback meant. The truth was that it wasn't Brokeback, it was Brokenbat Mountain.



When the Mets brought in Kaz Matsui 2004 it seemed too easy. Well it turns out that Kaz had a mission. It wasn't to be good at baseball, that was clear.

Instead Kaz had to come in to develop a screenplay. On an undercover mission from his funder, Ang Lee, Kaz got his story.

He brought us Happy Will and KFC, the beautiful love story of gay Mets fans. Unfortunately, Hollywood didn't see it this way, and decided to make the movie about cowboys.

Oh well. I know, and now we all know.

Now let's have the Mets win a fucking game. I hate losing and more so, I hate losing at road parks.

VCD,

SM