RIP Anna Benson

(Note: Double the content here at Y2K. First up is Sip's piece about the divorce of Kris and Anna Benson. Immediately following that post is A.F.O.M.G.'s tribute to the top 10 songs that immediately remind us of the Mets. Enjoy.)

I thought I would take today off. But I just couldn't.

See, back in my 14 months in the show, the paralegaling game that is, there was one certainty every single day.

That I would work? Afraid not. See, paralegals may be the most useless people in the world, and there were days when I sat at a desk and did absolutely NOTHING.

Think? If you count Y2K, thought, well yes, but good thing for me AFOMG does the editing.

No, the one thing I would do every single day was go up to the cafeteria and get a big breakfast, eat at my desk for an extended period of time, and then sit for about ten minutes, till it was game time.

I would rise up from my chair, grab my girl in my hand, and take my stroll 15 feet down the hall.

I had a date with perfection, her name, the NY Post.

I would sit on the can for a good 15 minutes, 2 objectives in mind. One, the sports section. Second and more important, Page Six.

My first stop on the shitter every day was Page Six, the Post's daily trashy gossip column. No reason to deny this, Senior turned me onto it back when I became a bar mitzvah, a man, and since then I have never looked back.

So yesterday, a Page Six legend left us.

It was announced that Stripper Legend, Mets Legend, and legend of many the spank banks Anna Benson has filed for divorce from #4 starter legend Kris Benson.



What a shame. When I think about my future nuptials, I imagine a relationship like theirs and a wife like her. ALL CLASS.

Anna's reason for filing was apparently that she caught Kris cheating on her.

Now you all remember what she said if she found out Kris was cheating on her back in NY. Ya know, that she would fuck every memmber of the Mets organization from the players to the locker room attentdants?

You have to wonder if the "baseball only on his mind" kid, D Wright was upset. Cliffy was telling him that he may have found his shot at losing the old V Card but it all happened a week too late.

So J Schubes is smiling down in Charm City: Baltimore. Word on the street is that Melvin Mora has just planted his seed in Anna to the tune of Tentuplets, giving him 97 kids.

And J Schubes, Orioles Fan of the game back in the Summer of '04, might even get a crack at her too.

Her exploits aside, the news of their divorce demands that we consider the trade of Anna's husband once again. It was widely speculated that the trade of Kris Benson for Jorge Julio and John Maine was not a salary dump or a final move to shore up the bullpen, but rather it was a wife dump. When talking to KFC last night I told him that my least favorite of Wheel and Deal's moves was the Benson deal, that it got us nothing and lost us pitching depth.

That said, if the divorce had happened three months earlier, would we still have made this move? Would this divorce have rid Kris of Anna and the Mets of the distraction she posed? Is the Mets front office kicking itself for not only missing out on the chance to score with Anna Ballgame but also for losing a consistently average major league pitcher?

Tough questions all; who can say?

It's all good though. Opening day is on Monday and the Mets are undefeated!

VCD,

SM