Baseball Roundup or, There Ain't Shit Going On: Day 5

(Note: We've got double the content here at Yankees2000 today. The first article, beginning immediately following this note, is a recap of the past week in baseball by A.F.O.M.G. The second article, by Sippy Momo, is the latest in the Interview Friday series with special guest Happy Will. Enjoy.)

What's up guys, A Friend of Mr. Glass' here. Been a while since I posted on the site, and if you want to know why, the most readily available explanation is the paucity of intriguing baseball-related happenings.

Well, that's not entirely true. Really the trouble has been that none of the five stories that have dominated the Major League Baseball/Mets-loving/Yankee-hating world have been big enough on their own to merit an individual post. The point of today's post, then, is to bring everyone up to speed on the five, no, six (!!) "significant" stories of the past week, in no particular order.

1. Mets sign Japanese pitcher Yusaku Iriki to a one-year Major League contract.

File this one under the ripple effect of the Jae Seo trade. After pouring over hours and hours of tape in the darkest depths of the New York office, I've discovered the Iriki can be used as a starter or a reliever. Much to the delight of one big Indian friend of mine, Iriki pitched for a team called the Nippon Ham Fighters in 2005, posting a 6-7 line with a 3.35 ERA in 28 games, 20 of which he started.

So what does it mean? Well, first off, it's important to note that he was signed to a major league contract. Translation: Iriki will be on the team come April 3. Once there, he figures to join the distinguished ranks of Rich Rodriguez, Eric Cammack, and other horrible-but-otherwise-completely-forgettable pitchers as the Mets' long relief option. If he manages to do better than that last sentence gives him credit for, he'll be used as a spot starter should one of our four rickety starters go down. If, on the other hand, one of our one terrible starters continues to be terrible and needs to be taken out of the rotation, expect Aaron Heilman to fill that role.

Speaking of Heilman, signing Iriki basically assures that his role will be limited to relief, barring the Victor Zambrano contingency detailed above. The move also means that the Brian Bannister era will likely have to wait for 2007, but I still wouldn't be shocked if he or Alay Soler found his way onto the big club by mid-summer.

Verdict on Iriki? I'm skeptical. Love Masato Yoshii and Tsuyoshi Shinjo (Shinjyo5.net was and remains the greatest non-blog website I've ever seen) though I did, the Mets have had pretty bad luck with Japanese players (see Hideo Nomo, Kaz Ishii, Kazuo Matsui), and I'm expecting a pretty unremarkable tenure from Iriki. Like Matsui, he evidently dyes his hair orange. That worked badly for Matsui and amazingly for Rey Ordonez. As for Iriki, we shall see...

2. SNY finalizes broadcast team, runs risk of turning booth into drug den.

That's right, boys and girls, after months of speculation, SportsNet New York has finally confirmed that its broadcast booth will be manned by Gary Cohen and Mets legends Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling. Heroes of the 1986 Mets championship team (Christ, that was 20 years ago), Darling and Hernandez will most likely split color analysis duties, though it's possible that some three-way action could go down.

All in all, this is a pretty good sign. Darling's commentary abilities are a bit of an unknown quantity -- it's not that he's never worked before, it's just that I've never heard him. He worked Nationals games last year in what was, I believe, his first year of broadcasting. His broadcast talents aside, signing him up is further sign that the Mets, as an organization, are finally beginning to embrace the '86 team.

For years, 86ers were shunned by Mets brass because of their off-field antics. These antics included drug abuse, bar fights, and, in the case of the well-endowed Rafael Santana, putting one's genitals on Tim Teufel's shoulders. For those that still haven't, The Bad Guys Won is still an absolute must-read, and "The 1986 Mets Tape: A Year to Remember", is still a must-watch. Those who are unfamiliar with either can feel free to get a copy from me.*

But in spite of all their rabble-rousing, those Mets still won a World Series title, and that's more than we can say about any other team in the 20 years since. Call it attitude, swagger, panache or whatever you want to call it, but that team had something that captured the hearts of baseball fans across the city. They might have been bad guys, but they played some pretty kick ass baseball and it's encouraging to see that the Mets as a franchise are finally opening their arms to them. Darling and Mex are on-board -- here's looking at you, guys.

3. A-Rod settles on Team USA in World Baseball Classic.

So you know how earlier I said that none of the stories on this list were major enough to merit their own article? Well, nobody in the major media got the memo on A-Shithead's decision to play for the U.S., no the Dominican Republic, no the U.S. in the inaugural World Baseball Classic this March.

Now look, I understand we're starved for baseball-related news these days, but come on, coverage of this guy's heartrending decision of which country to represent was almost as tiresome as the coverage of A-Rod's first few days in Yankee training camp before the 2004 season. I can still remember the headlines:

A-Rod Blows First Bubble in Pinstripes!

A-Rod Prefers Yankee Charmin Toilet Paper to Rangers' Single-Ply!

Seriously, it was almost that bad. So you'd think lessons would have been learned since then, but no, the mainstream, non-blog media beat this story into the ground until you knew every last aspect of A-Rod's harrowing decision.

Seven thousand articles later, A-Rod chose Team USA. And that's all we have to say about that.

4. Mets hold mini-camp, Wright, Bradford, Pelfrey attend.

Not a hell of a lot more to say about this 3-day trip down to Florida than that. It was good to see Pelfrey finally throw a pitch in Mets togs, and if the advance buzz on this guy is accurate, you could very conceivably see him at Shea come 2007.

It turns out Happy Will objects to the David Wright appreciation here at Yankees2000, but fuck him. It was great to see DW show up at the mini-camp, the Mets' only major league position player to show (if that's not true, he was certainly the only marquee one). This guy will be the leader of the Mets in all possible shape and form by 2008 at the absolute latest (it could be as early as this year, frankly), and it's moves like this that get you there.

Here's a guy who has all the talent in the world, knows the responsibility being heaped on him by the organization, and embraces it head-on. So, yeah, we like him here at Yankees2000.

5. Theo rejoins Red Sox, city of Boston gives itself a hand job.

Regulars at the site will remember that Old Sip and I were pretty bent out of shape by Theo's departure from the Red Sox in late October. I don't really know all the details yet, but it's good to see him return home. His actual position is still unspecified, but it stands to reason that he will return in a role greater than the one he left behind.

We here at Yankees2000 are happy for Theo, the Red Sox organization, and the city of Boston as a whole. As a regular reader of the Boston Globe, I can tell you that Theo's departure cast a shadow over every Red Sox-related article, which in turn cast a shadow over virtually everyone living in Beantown.

Seriously, it was like the entire city was in one big 80-day-long rut. You could hardly read an article or column without being reminded that Theo was gone, and now that he's back, well, Johnny Damon is still the worst person alive, but Sox fans have one less thing to complain about.

Perhaps the best part of all this Theo coverage is that I've learned that the day he walked away from the Red Sox' offer of a contract extension, he left Fenway Park in a giant gorilla suit so as to avoid the media.

For five blissful seconds I thought that Theo just happened to keep said gorilla suit in his closet, ya know, just in case, but then I remembered that that was Oct. 31 and presumably it was his costume for the evening. Oh well.

6. Wrecking ball moves one swing closer to Shea, Yankee Stadium.

The Board of the Empire State Development Corporation announced yesterday that they had approved the adoption of project plans for new stadiums for the Mets and Yankees. Ordinarily, I would only mention the Mets, but actually I may be happier about the Yankees getting a new stadium than I am about the Mets.

When the wrecking ball finally comes and the bell tolls for Yankee Stadium, I may just bring a lawnchair and toast the destruction of the citadel of misery. No more will we be subject to tired rants about stepping into Yankee Stadium, and how great a feeling that is.

Truth be told, even a Yankee hater like me can appreciate the history of the field. I actually find it pretty cool to consider that men like Babe Ruth, Lou Gherig, Mickey Mantle and so many others played on that very field. So I don't hate that aspect of it. But hearing people like A-Rod and Juicer Giambi go on and on about it couldn't be more mind numbing, and if the destruction of the stadium is necessary in order to put a stop to that talking point, then so be it. Besides, the current plan is to preserve the actual field itself, so that's really the best of both worlds.

As for the Mets, well, I've got mixed feelings. The current plan is that this new stadium will be open for business come opening day in 2009. The stadium is to be built adjacent to Shea, so we'll still have the 7 train, Willets Point, and 747s to look forward to.

Look, I know people think Shea's a dump, and on some level maybe I can appreciate that it is. But the way I feel about it is the way I felt about my righteous off-campus apartment senior year: it was a dump, but it was our dump.

There are just too many good memories there at Shea. There's the already immortalized O.O.T.G.C.O.A.T. There's Game 5 of the 1999 NLCS, sitting there with F.O.A.F.O.M.G. and not wearing my jacket in spite of the cold October air and light showers because the moment I took it off earlier in the evening John Olerud hit a home run, a decision that was validated when Robin Ventura hit the longest single you'll ever see. Who could forget Opening Day in 1998 when the Mets won 1-0 in 14 innings on an Alberto Castillo single. I told my math teacher Dr. Abernathy I was at the dentist that day, but a Daily News photographer caught me smiling in the stands on the first base line, and his editor decided to put that picture of the Mets celebrating on the field and me and the other fans cheering on the back page the next morning.

Good memories all.

It just won't be the same going to a Mets game without showing up at Shea. So enjoy it these next 3 years, Mets fans, and keep your fingers crossed that our new stadium doesn't end up playing second fiddle to the Spanks'.

Anyway, in case you haven't been paying any attention over the past week, that's what you missed. Have a good weekend everybody, and be sure to read Sip's interview with Happy Will immediately below.

- A.F.O.M.G.

*: Offer is made in bad faith.