We Have Just Lost Cabin Pressure

(Note: Both Sippy Momo and A.F.O.M.G. have written pieces in response to the Johnny Damon deal. A.F.O.M.G.'s piece begins immediately following this note, while Sippy Momo's begins following the conclusion of this post. Enjoy.)

I didn't get the news until early this morning, a morning that was earlier than most thanks to the ongoing transit strike here in NYC (somewhere, Sippy Momo is sitting on a lawn chair, taking in the massive California sun and asking himself what ever took him so long to leave gotham behind). But this is not a day to complain about your commute, even if it did clock in at two hours, more than a quarter of which was spent in the cold either waiting for the bus or walking the final half mile.

That was bad. Johnny Damon signing with the Yankees was worse.

You know, when I think about it I can't recall a free agent defection that I found so devastating. That includes the Mets. The Scott Kazmir trade comes close, but that was sheer (ahem) idiocy on the part of management, not callous betrayal on the part of a player.

And really, that's what it is. Baseball's a business, but let's call a spade a spade here. Consider who Johnny Damon is and what he has seen. He signed with Boston before the 2002 season. The Sox didn't make the playoffs his first year in Beantown, but 2003 was a different story.

The 2003 season and postseason reignited the Yankees-Red Sox rivarly in a truly meaningful way. Now yes, I know the Yankees and Red Sox always hate each other, but in 2003 there was substance to the familiar story line. Both teams were good. They battled it out through 162 games and then met in the American League Championship Series.

Everyone remembers that incredible 7-game ALCS in October 2003. The series featured the timeless Pedro Martinez-Don Zimmer duel, plenty of Cowboy-Up! signs, and, yes, an unlikely 11th home run from Aaron Boone to crush the dreams of Red Sox Nation.

But it wasn't just Red Sox Nation. Let's be honest, in those days what Mets fan didn't temporarily jump on the Red Sox bandwagon? We have no reason to hate the Red Sox, we have every reason to hate the Yankees, and the enemy of my enemy is my friend. On top of that, it's not like the Red Sox ever won anyway, so they had the underdog mystique which Mets fans have no choice but to embrace, no matter how big our payroll (or the Red Sox' for that matter) is.

Now I didn't pull a Happy Will here or anything, but I was rooting for the Red Sox pretty damn seriously. So seriously, in fact, that Boone's home run was the catalyst for one of the most belligerent actions of my life. As Boone was trotting around the bases, my then-acquaintance, now-friend Will X started heckling me for being a Mets and Red Sox fan and how much that sucked, so I threw a beer at him. (Incidentally, I've never been a fighter, but I must say I've got to wonder what I'd be capable of if the Mets ever found themselves in the Red Sox' shoes).

But this isn't about me, it's about Damon. Like all the other Red Sox, Damon trudged off the field that night as Yankee fans celebrated all around them and the Evil Empire grew that much more evil. That was the taste left in Damon's mouth throughout the offseason leading up to 2004.

Zoom forward a year from where we left off. Damon has hit the critical grand slam that helps complete the Red Sox' improbable comeback against the Yankees. He has helped his team erase not only a 3-0 deficit over the Yankees, but also 86 years of futility against their familiar nemesis.

He embodies the Red Sox. His long hair waves in the wind. He walks around naked in the clubhouse. He coined the team's nickname, The Idiots, for god's sake. He is a character on a team of characters. And all of the city of Boston loves him for it. After the Sox complete a four-game sweep of the Cardinals in the World Series, Damon becomes immortal in Boston.

The 2005 season was decidely less eventful in this latest Yankees-Red Sox story arc, that's true. What didn't change, however, was Damon's popularity in Boston and throughout all of baseball. He was the symbol of the scrappy, never say die Red Sox who toppled the Evil Empire.

And look at him now. Now he IS the Evil Empire. His long hair will be gone, his beard shaved. I don't know one way or another whether he'll be allowed to walk around naked in the Yankees' clubhouse before and after games, but I'm sure A-Rod is keeping his fingers crossed.

If you ever needed to be reminded that baseball players don't give a damn about rivalries or franchises or the fans, let me, Johnny Damon seemed to say, remind you. They're nothing more than mercenaries. They don't care about you, me, or anything that the people who visit sites like this care about.

Look, that's their right. It's their career. If you offered me a lot more money to go work at a different company, chances are I'd take it in a heartbeat, especially if I knew the window for such a deal would be closed before my 36th birthday.

Even if we realize that rationally, however, we can't help but rebel against the idea. It's just too foreign to our way of thinking. What we want are players who give quotes like this

"There's no way I can go play for the Yankees, but I know they're going to come after me hard. It's definitely not the most important thing to go out there for the top dollar, which the Yankees are going to offer me. It's not what I need."

and mean it. The speaker of that quote, Johnny Damon, clearly did not. He's willing to piss on everything he built in Boston? Fine, Johnny, you gutless sellout, go right ahead. But you can be damn sure that I will boo more lustily when Damon's name is called at those Mets-Yankees games than any other player on the field.

I'll boo harder than I did for John Rocker or Benitez or any player not named Doug Mientkiewicz who played first base for the Mets last year (with the exception of Mike Jacobs). And hopefully that asshole will hear it all the way in the batter's box. He won't have his hair covering his ears anymore, so hey, maybe it's possible.

But let's also be clear about one more thing. I can't blame the Yankees for this one. I really can't blame them for pursuing the best available free agent centerfielder, when centerfield was the one unquestionable weakness on their team last year. I mean really, who can fault Brian Cashman for getting queasy at the thought of Bubba Crosby manning centerfield?

The Yankees have an unfair amount of cash to spend, that's true. It is entirely absurd that a team such as the one the Yankees will field in 2006 should ever be possible outside of that one week in July when baseball pauses for its Midsummer Classic. Think of the lineup. Damon. Jeter. A-Rod. Sheffield. Giambi. Matsui. Posada. I don't think you could imagine a better lineup if you tried.

But again, this wasn't the Yankees' fault. It's not their fault for making a run at a player in a position where they've got a tremendous void. It's Damon's fault for not feeling any sense of loyalty to the Boston fans or the Red Sox organization. I can only hope the void he knows the rest of his days comes from never winning a world series with the Yankees and being despised in Boston in spite of the championship he won back when he had a soul.

Johnny Bleepin' Damon is a mother bleepin' Yankee.

We have just lost cabin pressure.

- A.F.O.M.G.