Hump Day RIP
So today is a rough one. My first hump day away from home. See, on a typical Wednesday me, Cousin Jason, Nick the Voice, and Boston Jon Jon would hit up Ruth's Chris or Virgil's. Seated over a warm meal, we would lament in the fact that we were paralegals and talk life.
Nick the Voice is a legend that deserves a brief shoutout here at Y2k. This kid was the greatest roll dog in the history of office buddy's. He taught me so many things, including how to sleep underneath my desk and the beauty that is "Lost", ABC's smash and a humpnight fixture.
That's all on that. Thought I'd hit up the old mailbag cause there just ain't much going on otherwise.
JD asked:
Sip, what are your thoughts on A-Rod deciding to play for the Dominican squad?
Glad you asked, JD. This guy belongs in the English premiere league playing for Chelsea. But in terms of the World cup, the dude grew up in Miami and has been here his whole life. The man has no business playing for anyone but America. I really mean that. He's not sitting there with Miguel Tejada or David Ortiz waving the Dominican flag at the Allstar game. Instead he is most likely swapping love sauce with Derek Jeter.
This really, really bothers me. It's like this guy has to prove to everyone that he has some ethnic flavor. I'd actually really like a non-A-Rod hater's take on this, so please send a response.
Meathead Justin asked:
Is it true you are switching to the other team out there in SF, young Sip?
I'm sorry to disappoint my many male followers, but I'm still hitting from the right side. Still, there are a lot of changes. I started running outdoors, which I normally could never do. I've been running the hills out here and have really enjoyed it.
I'm also a proud Golden St. Warriors fan. I don't even register with the Knicks. I read the Sports Guy's book, Now I Can Die in Peace..., and he has this whole section that justifies leaving a team.
Page 6 section D.
"The owner of your favorite team treated his fans so egregiously that you couldn't take it anymore."
Well Isiah, Jimmy Dolan, and co. have done just that. When the Knicks get the top pick of the draft this year and, oh wait, it goes to Chicago via the Eddy Curry deal, hopefully the rest of you will come on board.
It would be cool because we still have our 2nd round pick. Oh wait no, can you say Mo Taylor?
As for the Warriors, they more closely resemble a Safe Haven team than an NBA team, and for anyone who had the pleasure of suiting up for the former, that is just awesome.
Truth16 asked:
With all these moves, what do you think of the Mets right now?
Ok, Truth. I love every move we've made, for the most part, but we still have one huge problem. Who is going to get the game to Billy Wagner? We didn't offer arbitration to Roberto Hernzandez or Braden Looper so all there is in front of Wagner is Heilman.
I would die for Julian Tavarez, the best setup man out there, so hopefully Omar can reel in one more big fish. Tavarez isn't the sexy kind of name that makes the back pages, but it would probably prove one of the biggest signing of the offseason.
On a side note, Braden Looper is supposedly going to sign with the Phils. How awesome is it that we will get to have him at Shea 18 times over the next two seasons? This guy may kill himself on the way to the mound.
Eric on the Car Phone asked:
Hey A.F.O.M.G., what do you think of the Mets' new slogan?
Oh boy, where do I begin? For those of you who have not yet had the chance to check out the Mets' 1-minute promotional video over at mets.com, the new slogan, at least for now, is... drumroll, please... "New Year, More Stars".
New Year, More Stars?
Can you think of anything worse? There are so many things to hate about this slogan, but I think what irks me the most is that it actively courts the Yankee comparisons. The message is that the Mets are a collection of stars, not a team. It's not the unit that's given ink, it's not the team that we want you to come see. Love us, the message pleads, because we have more star players, that's all we ask! Loyalty? Who needs it? We've got stars, baby, stars!
It's pathetic.
As if that weren't bad enough, F.O.A.F.O.M.G. made a good point over dinner last night -- the slogan isn't remotely catchy. This is a fairly self-evident complaint, but it bears mentioning. The point of slogan is to get people talking, and if they're going to talk, let's have them say something positive, why don't we? This slogan begs people to call our beloved Mets the New Yankees.
Now look, me and SM had a good time kidding around about 2005's "Next Year Is Now" slogan ("Next Year Is 2006" was an oft repeated phrase this past summer), but it was catchy, and it had a message you could latch on to. It expressed rejuvenation and optimism. It expressed the hope that at long last the Mets were something worth getting excited about again.
The shame of it all is that "Next Year Is Now" would be perfect for the 2006 slogan. Certainly, the moves Omar and co. have orchestrated this offseason suggest that the Mets mean business in 2006, and fully expect to vie for a playoff spot and other glories still.
As it is, however, "Next Year Is Now" was taken, so management has concocted the monstrosity that is "New Year, More Stars". Hell, even "Mets on the Rise", the rumored slogan panned by most fans, would have been better. That slogan conveys a sense of team cohesion, at least. It says, "Hey! We're in this to win it -- come on board, why don't you?"
For it's part, "New Year, More Stars" is basically the equivalent of saying "Love us because we're beautiful". Let's just hope this is some sort of holiday-themed tagline to tide us over until the real slogan is unveiled.
Random NYU Co-ed asked:
Hey A.F.O.M.G., I just got word that my killer Uni is going to have its graduation exercises at Shea Stadium this year -- got any tips for surviving Shea?
Ahh, a reader of the fairer sex. Don't get too many of those, last I checked. Take heart, random NYU co-ed, you've come to the right place. Here are some things to keep in mind while you're at Shea for your graduation exercises (please note, this is an incomplete list):
1. You really can't say enough good things about the jumbo pretzel-hot dog combo.
Known as the B.O.A.F.O.M.G.S. (Brother of A Friend of Mr. Glass' Special), the pretzel-hot dog combo is traditionally the perfect 4th inning treat, so maybe you'll want to wait until the speaker starts announcing names that begin with the letter K to hit up the vendors. For their part, the French fries could not possibly be any worse -- avoid at all costs.
2. Do whatever you can to avoid the bathrooms.
Look, when you gotta go you gotta go, but the truth is you really don't want any part of those stalls at Shea Stadium. To that end, I recommend spending the night before graduation stone sober -- don't even think about touching the sauce, it's just not worth it in the long run. Granted, I've never been in the women's rooms at Shea, but judging from the men's rooms, the devotion to offering clean and sanitary conditions in the bathroom stalls is questionable at best and criminal at worst: enter at your own risk.
3. There's no such thing as a bad seat in the house.
Well, OK, that's not entirely true. You don't want to be caught in the Mezzanine under the Upper Deck overhang, for instance, but other than that, you really can't go wrong. Upper Deck seats are never as bad as you'd guess, and sometimes you might just witness something magical. If you were looking to make one last stab at slaying that biscuity little co-ed, I'd recommend the nose bleeds in the far reaches of the Upper Deck on the right field side. Read these columns if you'd like to know why: http://yankees2000.blogspot.com/2005/11/greatest-comeback-of-all-time.html, http://yankees2000.blogspot.com/2005/11/memories-of-ootgcoat.html).
4. If the apple comes up in centerfield when your name is called, that means people like you.
A lot.
5. If you suspect that person on the subway ride out to Shea actually has a bomb in his or her large carry-on bag, they probably do.
Seriously. Don't be a hero. Don't think, just switch trains.
Subways. Modern convenience or metallic death worms? You decide.
6. Bring batteries, big ones.
That way, when someone you don't like is called and walks to the stage, you can greet him the old-fashioned ballpark way and chuck a battery at him. You could also serenade him or her with boos, but some people just don't like to draw that much attention to themselves, so.
Jack's Inner Ear asked:
Hey Sip, if you're trying to create a Tyler Durden like army, do rules 1 and 2 of Fight Club apply to readers of this site?
Good question. That one gets a big N-O. For clarity's sake, the first rule of Yankees2000 is
1) You do talk about Yankees2000.
The second rule of Yankees2000 is
2) You DO talk about Yankees2000.
The third rule of Yankees2000 is... hmm. Well, we haven't gotten that far yet. We'll cook something up eventually, but in the meantime, be a good Yankees2000 soldier and go out and tell at least two new people you know about this site.
That's all we got for today, folks. Until next time, you know your homework.
- SM & A.F.O.M.G.
Nick the Voice is a legend that deserves a brief shoutout here at Y2k. This kid was the greatest roll dog in the history of office buddy's. He taught me so many things, including how to sleep underneath my desk and the beauty that is "Lost", ABC's smash and a humpnight fixture.
That's all on that. Thought I'd hit up the old mailbag cause there just ain't much going on otherwise.
JD asked:
Sip, what are your thoughts on A-Rod deciding to play for the Dominican squad?
Glad you asked, JD. This guy belongs in the English premiere league playing for Chelsea. But in terms of the World cup, the dude grew up in Miami and has been here his whole life. The man has no business playing for anyone but America. I really mean that. He's not sitting there with Miguel Tejada or David Ortiz waving the Dominican flag at the Allstar game. Instead he is most likely swapping love sauce with Derek Jeter.
This really, really bothers me. It's like this guy has to prove to everyone that he has some ethnic flavor. I'd actually really like a non-A-Rod hater's take on this, so please send a response.
Meathead Justin asked:
Is it true you are switching to the other team out there in SF, young Sip?
I'm sorry to disappoint my many male followers, but I'm still hitting from the right side. Still, there are a lot of changes. I started running outdoors, which I normally could never do. I've been running the hills out here and have really enjoyed it.
I'm also a proud Golden St. Warriors fan. I don't even register with the Knicks. I read the Sports Guy's book, Now I Can Die in Peace..., and he has this whole section that justifies leaving a team.
Page 6 section D.
"The owner of your favorite team treated his fans so egregiously that you couldn't take it anymore."
Well Isiah, Jimmy Dolan, and co. have done just that. When the Knicks get the top pick of the draft this year and, oh wait, it goes to Chicago via the Eddy Curry deal, hopefully the rest of you will come on board.
It would be cool because we still have our 2nd round pick. Oh wait no, can you say Mo Taylor?
As for the Warriors, they more closely resemble a Safe Haven team than an NBA team, and for anyone who had the pleasure of suiting up for the former, that is just awesome.
Truth16 asked:
With all these moves, what do you think of the Mets right now?
Ok, Truth. I love every move we've made, for the most part, but we still have one huge problem. Who is going to get the game to Billy Wagner? We didn't offer arbitration to Roberto Hernzandez or Braden Looper so all there is in front of Wagner is Heilman.
I would die for Julian Tavarez, the best setup man out there, so hopefully Omar can reel in one more big fish. Tavarez isn't the sexy kind of name that makes the back pages, but it would probably prove one of the biggest signing of the offseason.
On a side note, Braden Looper is supposedly going to sign with the Phils. How awesome is it that we will get to have him at Shea 18 times over the next two seasons? This guy may kill himself on the way to the mound.
Eric on the Car Phone asked:
Hey A.F.O.M.G., what do you think of the Mets' new slogan?
Oh boy, where do I begin? For those of you who have not yet had the chance to check out the Mets' 1-minute promotional video over at mets.com, the new slogan, at least for now, is... drumroll, please... "New Year, More Stars".
New Year, More Stars?
Can you think of anything worse? There are so many things to hate about this slogan, but I think what irks me the most is that it actively courts the Yankee comparisons. The message is that the Mets are a collection of stars, not a team. It's not the unit that's given ink, it's not the team that we want you to come see. Love us, the message pleads, because we have more star players, that's all we ask! Loyalty? Who needs it? We've got stars, baby, stars!
It's pathetic.
As if that weren't bad enough, F.O.A.F.O.M.G. made a good point over dinner last night -- the slogan isn't remotely catchy. This is a fairly self-evident complaint, but it bears mentioning. The point of slogan is to get people talking, and if they're going to talk, let's have them say something positive, why don't we? This slogan begs people to call our beloved Mets the New Yankees.
Now look, me and SM had a good time kidding around about 2005's "Next Year Is Now" slogan ("Next Year Is 2006" was an oft repeated phrase this past summer), but it was catchy, and it had a message you could latch on to. It expressed rejuvenation and optimism. It expressed the hope that at long last the Mets were something worth getting excited about again.
The shame of it all is that "Next Year Is Now" would be perfect for the 2006 slogan. Certainly, the moves Omar and co. have orchestrated this offseason suggest that the Mets mean business in 2006, and fully expect to vie for a playoff spot and other glories still.
As it is, however, "Next Year Is Now" was taken, so management has concocted the monstrosity that is "New Year, More Stars". Hell, even "Mets on the Rise", the rumored slogan panned by most fans, would have been better. That slogan conveys a sense of team cohesion, at least. It says, "Hey! We're in this to win it -- come on board, why don't you?"
For it's part, "New Year, More Stars" is basically the equivalent of saying "Love us because we're beautiful". Let's just hope this is some sort of holiday-themed tagline to tide us over until the real slogan is unveiled.
Random NYU Co-ed asked:
Hey A.F.O.M.G., I just got word that my killer Uni is going to have its graduation exercises at Shea Stadium this year -- got any tips for surviving Shea?
Ahh, a reader of the fairer sex. Don't get too many of those, last I checked. Take heart, random NYU co-ed, you've come to the right place. Here are some things to keep in mind while you're at Shea for your graduation exercises (please note, this is an incomplete list):
1. You really can't say enough good things about the jumbo pretzel-hot dog combo.
Known as the B.O.A.F.O.M.G.S. (Brother of A Friend of Mr. Glass' Special), the pretzel-hot dog combo is traditionally the perfect 4th inning treat, so maybe you'll want to wait until the speaker starts announcing names that begin with the letter K to hit up the vendors. For their part, the French fries could not possibly be any worse -- avoid at all costs.
2. Do whatever you can to avoid the bathrooms.
Look, when you gotta go you gotta go, but the truth is you really don't want any part of those stalls at Shea Stadium. To that end, I recommend spending the night before graduation stone sober -- don't even think about touching the sauce, it's just not worth it in the long run. Granted, I've never been in the women's rooms at Shea, but judging from the men's rooms, the devotion to offering clean and sanitary conditions in the bathroom stalls is questionable at best and criminal at worst: enter at your own risk.
3. There's no such thing as a bad seat in the house.
Well, OK, that's not entirely true. You don't want to be caught in the Mezzanine under the Upper Deck overhang, for instance, but other than that, you really can't go wrong. Upper Deck seats are never as bad as you'd guess, and sometimes you might just witness something magical. If you were looking to make one last stab at slaying that biscuity little co-ed, I'd recommend the nose bleeds in the far reaches of the Upper Deck on the right field side. Read these columns if you'd like to know why: http://yankees2000.blogspot.com/2005/11/greatest-comeback-of-all-time.html, http://yankees2000.blogspot.com/2005/11/memories-of-ootgcoat.html).
4. If the apple comes up in centerfield when your name is called, that means people like you.
A lot.
5. If you suspect that person on the subway ride out to Shea actually has a bomb in his or her large carry-on bag, they probably do.
Seriously. Don't be a hero. Don't think, just switch trains.
Subways. Modern convenience or metallic death worms? You decide.
6. Bring batteries, big ones.
That way, when someone you don't like is called and walks to the stage, you can greet him the old-fashioned ballpark way and chuck a battery at him. You could also serenade him or her with boos, but some people just don't like to draw that much attention to themselves, so.
Jack's Inner Ear asked:
Hey Sip, if you're trying to create a Tyler Durden like army, do rules 1 and 2 of Fight Club apply to readers of this site?
Good question. That one gets a big N-O. For clarity's sake, the first rule of Yankees2000 is
1) You do talk about Yankees2000.
The second rule of Yankees2000 is
2) You DO talk about Yankees2000.
The third rule of Yankees2000 is... hmm. Well, we haven't gotten that far yet. We'll cook something up eventually, but in the meantime, be a good Yankees2000 soldier and go out and tell at least two new people you know about this site.
That's all we got for today, folks. Until next time, you know your homework.
- SM & A.F.O.M.G.
posted by Sippy Momo at 1:41 AM
1 Comments:
SM,
We all know the ribbing I took and continue to take for jumping ship for 48 hours from the Mets to the Sox after living in Boston for over 3 years while simultaneously enduring 3 years under Jeff Wilpon ownership that makes James Dolan look like Wellington Mara. Yet somehow, it's supposedly ok for you, after 1 week on the left coast to jump ship from the Knicks and starting rooting for the Warriors.
I'm not sure I like it, big guy, I'm not sure I like it.
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