One More Time Around

So I know that we have lost some focus with this blog. A good friend of mine pulled me aside to talk to about about this and, truth is, he's right.

I tried to defend myself. There just isn't that much going on in the baseball world and throwing out 1000 words on hating the Yankees every day just isn't that easy.

Still I'm going to try and refocus on spewing anti-Yankee diatribes in the future.

That is, after today as I gotta throw out the defensive side of the ball.

I first wanted to respond to some of the comments in regards to Friday's blog.

I didn't know Sports Guy had written a similar article, but, heck, I love the guy so that doesn't bother me.

As for sight, site and cite...I think I got 2 out of 3 down. Didn't do much grammar back at the U as many of you may know from reading previous blogs.

As for the O-line. Yeah I mixed it up a little bit. Manu was clearly the center. We know that Matteus played on the left side of the line because he pulled on the trap that knocked Rudy out of practice. As for Billy Bob, Bud Light and Reggie Ray, they were all on the right side of the line so I needed to mix them up.

As my good pal and hero Danny D told me, it's like a game of Madden. If you prefer to run to right side, there's nothing wrong with shuffling the line a little bit.

Now to the defense.

I decided to go with a 3-4. Linebacker is by far and away the best position in film and the core of this defense.

DE: Rudy, "Rudy"

What's there not to love about the little guy? Maybe the biggest inspiration in the history of film, Rudy was as much a beast on the field as he was with the ladies. His performance inspired one of film's greatest soundtracks and the chills that I get every time I hear his name chanted are almost unmatched in film. As a camp counselor I forced my kids to watch this movie on each way of a bus trip.


NT: Steve Lattimer, "The Program"

The glowing performance in a somewhat obscure career for the great Andrew Bryniarski. Lattimer spent three years on special teams before juicing up in the summer before his senior season. After a tour of the Balco plant, Lattimer added 35 lbs. Moments don't get better than when he and fellow defensive standout Alvin Mack spit in each other's mouth as part of their pregame ritual. In his steroid rage, Lattimer also nearly raped a woman 7 times smaller than him and ends the movie crying in front of his coach, much like Jason Giambi did to Joe Torre when it was discovered that he was on the juice.

DE: Angus Bethune, "Angus"

What a sweetheart. His best friend, played by a young Chris Owen, later went on to steal our hearts as the Shermanator in American Pie. He helped the girl from Jurassic Park II fight her belemia. And most impressively he managed to steal the show from E from Entourage and Dawson Leary in what turned out to be an All-Star cast. Angus had a ton of size but was also light on his feet. He made the big hit that forced the fumble that helped his freshmen squad win the big game, and propel him to prom king.

LB: Luther "Shark" Lavay, "Any Given Sunday"

Needed to give love to LT and I also needed to pay tribute to "Any Given Sunday". I wasn't sure the name of the massively endowed member of the sharks, and while I love Willie Beamen, the Shark was my go-to. Watching LT in the party scene of this flick is a life changer in film. LT is such a great player and truly a bad guy. This team needed his mean streak

LB: The Waterboy, "The Waterboy"

Maybe the greatest hitter in the history of film, the Waterboy truly dominated sideline to sideline. His infectious personality and love for the chick from "American History X" further contributed to Bobby Buchey's all-around likability. The fact that he made a movie that featured Kathy Bates in a leading role still watchable speaks volumes for this guy's charisma.

LB: Alvin Mack, "The Program"

Maybe the saddest story in football film history. Mack had all the talent. Despite a 4th grade reading level and the fact that this truly had no interest in a college degree, Alvin was still really likable. Face it, the guy was honest. In his defense Mack claimed, "I can read -- that says Adidas," pointing to his shoes. The guy makes a point with that one. His career-ending knee injury ended what would have been a sure fire all-pro career. It's really too bad. What a talent.

LB: The Ice Box, "Little Giants"

She may be the greatest female linebacker to hit the gridiron. Despite a failed attempt to beautify herself, Icebox took care of what needed to get done. "Little Giants", starring Yankees2000's #2 actor Ed O'neill, was a heck of a film. The fat kid from the flick just missed out on a spot on the o-line, but Ice Box needed to be here. Her ability to shut down Spike and the vaunted Dallas running game was the key in the dramatic victory for the Moranis-led Little Giants.

CB: Roland, "Rudy"

The defensive captain on the dominant Notre Dame squad, Roland was as unselfish a leader as you're going to find. He stood up to Coach Devine (Harris from "Major League") initiating the entire team putting their jersey's on the coach's desk, so that Rudy would have a chance to suit up. Roland also plays a position that is poorly represented in film allowing to sneak onto this team is the second member from the cast of "Rudy".

CB: Chris "Goat" Ditata, "Junction Boys"

This is truly an honor for me to write. Chris is a very close friend of mine, my connection to young Hollywood you might say. In the ESPN smash "The Junction Boys", Ditata emerged as a fearless leader in Bear Bryant's grueling training camps. Jake Taylor may have had top billing but Ditata emerged as the star of this vastly underrated ESPN classic. While Ditata's role in the film may have been limited, his desperate fight for face time in the film's final speech may go down as the greatest attempt at career advancement in the history of ESPN original entertainment. Unfortunately, Ditata has put aside his acting career for a future in the law but there are rumors that he is staying in shape for a potential return to the big screen in "Junction Boys II: The Junction Goes On", set to premiere on ESPN in the fall of 2008.

S: Bodhi, "Point Break"

A no brainer. Bodhi's free safety blitz to sack Johnny Utah on the beach showcased both his raw talent and football acumen. Bodhi, the greatest villain ever to hit the big screen, was undersized but had a ton of speed. St. Louis safety Adam Archuleta was quoted as saying, "Bodhi is who I modeled my game around. I loved his aggresive style and, man, could he rob banks." I also felt it was important to unite Bodhi and Utah to play for the same team and maybe even inspire "Point Break II: Still Breaking" for a 2008 release, thereby triggering a much-needed revival of Pat Swayze's career.

S: Eric "Samurai" Hanson, "Neccesary Roughness"

His rare combonation of Kung Fu and Jujitsu helped Hanson to emerge as a defensive stalwart for the Armadillos. Let's just say you didn't see many receivers running through the middle when Samurai was in the game. While his style may have been illegal, it certainly was entertaining. Samurai attempted to catch on with an NFL team but never got the shot. Rumor has it that Hanson started a production company in Japan with "Major League II" star Isuro "Kamakazi" Tanaka and is in fact famous in Japan.

Kicker: Lucy Draper, "Necessary Roughness"

I'm just not sure you can get any sexier than Lucy Draper. She was so perfect, barely edging out the Ice Box as the sexiest woman ever to play football in a movie. On top of that, the girl could really kick. With a Ray Finkel-style soccer approach, Draper got a ton of distance in her kicks. Her affection for Manu Manu showed off her non-superficial side further entrenching her in the top 5 greatest greatest female characters to hit the screen.

Thats all for the D. We're going to try and get back to ball tommorow.

Shrimp and fries,

Sippy Momo